Settling the Steppe - An Anti-Horselord Gothic AAR

[alscon]

Achila the Fool

(*17th January, 1212 - † 2nd March, 1257)


​

Emperor Achila had inherited one of his ancestors' talents. And it wasn't his mother's or grandfather's genius. It was Theudis the Quarrelsome's talent to make enemies wherever he showed up.​

Luckily for Gothia, the Fool died before the people had forgotten his beloved mother. Before the empire's reputation was in complete shambles. Achila could simply be written off as a failure, his passage on the throne quickly thrown into the dustbin of history.

For any Goth, be it of the time or today, Achila's reign never happened. Nobody knows his name.

The Gothic chronicles purged any mention of the man quite effectively. So much so that in Gothic chronicles, Empress Aikaterine is mentioned as being Liuvigoto the Noble's granddaughter... but her father's name is never mentioned. Indeed, the year of the Fool's reign is mentioned simply as transition, of the Noble's army returning with her body followed by a long period of mourning before Aikaterine was crowned.

The attempt to eradicate Achila from history – with him being the only Gothic monarch other than Kyrillos the Saint not to be interred in the Thathicos crypt of Cherson – was doomed to fail due to foreign records. And these records paint an unflattering picture, one that makes the Gothic shame quite understandable.





The most detailed report comes from the Venetian merchant responsible for the Serenissima's operations in the great city. He describes the emperor as “a heap of mad, blasphemous fat”.​

Indeed, Achila managed to offend Pope Ioannes IX so much that as he "demanded" the Pope's presence for his coronation – the letter written by none other than the emperor himself mentioning that the “high-hatted crown-giver is surely glad to leave his godforsaken hellhole of Rome to for the centre of the world, glorious Cherson, always besieged by armies of angels and demons, but fending them off with its pure radiance” paired with a few insults, most of them aimed at his virility– he was instantly excommunicated.

The Venetian mentions that upon receiving news of Ioannes' reaction, Achila forsook his saintly ancestry even more by grabbing a simple monk off the street to hand him his crown, not even bothering to claim the Gothic regalia stored at Saint Kyrillos' cathedral.

In that sense, the Goths may be justified in not recognizing Achila's rule, as he was never truly legitimated. In any case, the emperor did honour his mother's wish by leaving for China, suffering a devastating famine. The Noble wished for the Chinese to know that they could count on Gothic support, as the silk route was an important part of the empire's economy.

It is not hard to imagine how that kowtow would have ended if he had actually reached his goal. Gothia might very well have been devastated by Chinese armies. Or completely cut off from trade.




To nobody's chagrin, Achila died as soon as he entered Chinese territory. The mercenary band known as the Treasure Fleet crossed his path begging for food, and the Fool's natural talent caused the situation to escalate swiftly. Upon the mercenaries' introduction, Achila would have made a remark stating that it's weird to meet the “Treasure Fleet” months away from the nearest sea, then stating that he's got no fish to serve, and that they should just pick up their fishing rods. In the middle of a desert.

Now the mercenaries weren't just there for now reason. They were seeking employment in the west, fleeing the Chinese famine, and so they had brought a Goth interpreter. The Fool's “advice” was warmly welcomed... and with the massive Achila hardly able to fight, he had no chance when Captain Shilian drew his weapon. The mercenary captain's records describe the following scene in detail, mostly due to his surprise.

Save for his guard, none of the Goths took part in the ensuing fight. Once the fight ended, they gave the mercenaries what they needed, thanked them, then buried the imperial guardsmen. The Fool was stripped and left in the dirt.



Thus the Fool's reign didn't lead to disaster for Gothia. Thus it found an ignoble end along a dusty road in the middle of nowhere.​

Only true history nerds have ever heard of Emperor Achila the Fool. His legacy of being purged from historical records continues to the present day, with zealous Gothic editors removing his entry in the list of monarchs of the Gothic wikipedia as soon as someone restores it, flagging him as “illegitimate” or “disputed” elsewhere.​

For the Goths, he didn't exist. Anyone using him as a diverging point in some alt-history – mostly to show how Gothia collapses – is swiftly criticized to oblivion. Had he truly ruled, so the claim, all but the most blindly loyal guard would have stabbed him. The whole metropolis of Cherson, from the lowest beggar to the Crown Princess herself, would likely have gotten a stab in.

A popular theory is that Liuvigoto the Noble saw her eldest's inadequacies, and sent him to China solely in the hope of him not surviving the trip - all for the good of Gothia. For the Noble would never take a life without justification, even less so her son's. Yet she was still watching over Gothia from her grave.

Empress Liuvigoto was succeeded by Empress Aikaterine, let nobody say otherwise.​

 

[Midnite Duke]

For a "Fool", he had good stats except his diplomacy. He should have taken a vow of silence.

 

[RustyHunter]

“a heap of mad, blasphemous fat”

“high-hatted crown-giver is surely glad to leave his godforsaken hellhole of Rome to for the centre of the world, glorious Cherson, always besieged by armies of angels and demons, but fending them off with its pure radiance” paired with a few insults, most of them aimed at his virility– he was instantly excommunicated.

You did an excellent job characterizing his terrible diplomatic skills!

 

[generalis Julius Caesar]

I don't remember who this chapter is about or why I read it. When are we getting to the rule of Empress Aikaterine?

 

[Flinteroon]

What a funny chapter. The image of Achila as a pin cushion for the city is also quite humorous, I would have certainly joined in! Et tu, Cherson?

 

[Cora Giantkiller]

It takes real skill to get yourself excommunicated with one letter to the Pope. Not, admittedly, a useful skill, but skill nonetheless.

 

[alscon]

For a "Fool", he had good stats except his diplomacy. He should have taken a vow of silence.

Hard to have your reign respected when you can't open your mouth, but it's an idea he should have considered. Also to stay away from any quills.

You did an excellent job characterizing his terrible diplomatic skills!

I saw that he'd managed to be excommunicated within his very short rule and then died in a duel against a Chinese captain. He's also been mad, ambitious and envious. And honest.

So it wrote itself, really .

I don't remember who this chapter is about or why I read it. When are we getting to the rule of Empress Aikaterine?

Weird. I could have sworn I wrote a chapter, but it's all empty.

What a funny chapter. The image of Achila as a pin cushion for the city is also quite humorous, I would have certainly joined in! Et tu, Cherson?

The good thing is that the man was large enough for that purpose, too! Shouting "Sic semper tyrannis" would get old quickly, though.

It takes real skill to get yourself excommunicated with one letter to the Pope. Not, admittedly, a useful skill, but skill nonetheless.

Any skill might be useful sometimes. Might be handy when you want to break away from the Papal supremacy... if you wouldn't antagonize your own people at the same time!

It's apparently a recessive gene within the Thathicos dynasty, sometimes surfacing in the wrong places.

 

[alscon]

Aikaterine the Holy
the Halved

(*19th September, 1230 - † 20th June, 1300)​

At the beginning of Aikaterine's reign, Gothia had to realize that there must have been some reason for the starting animosity shown to her from the outside. It is somewhat weird for those who lived after Achila's purge to notice these initial troubles of her reign.​

They are left to wonder why Gothia's reputation was that much left in shambles. Why the crown was seen as resting on the wrong head.

For those who know, it is far less surprising that Ioannes IX categorically dismissed taking part in the empress' coronation. While he did acknowledge the Gothic envoys' efforts and treated them respectfully, the Fool's insults kept him in Rome.

Succession Crisis​

It is also unsurprising that Aikaterine's cousin, Ioustinos, found much support in the courts of Europe. With the Aztec threat receding and the Mongol threat dealt with, simple politics took over the place of basic survival in importance. If you do not have to worry about thousands of bloodthirsty warriors storming your home solely to sacrifice you to their gods, but instead know that your neighbour may want your land, but needs a reason. And thus it might be good to secure influence in powerful courts.​

Gothia, now more than the rich cities of Cherson and Tana and the spiritual centre of Aqmescit, fit the bill. With the walking disaster that was Achila, Ioustinos had no trouble at all in convincing people all across Europe to support him as Gothic emperor.

News of Achila's demise in China naturally took too long to reach them to dissolve the pretender's host. Too high was the investment in the man to drop him now, too little the gain in favour from Aikaterine.

Ioustinos, leaving his host in Poland-Hungary, reached Crimea just in time for the empress' coronation. When the archbishop of Aqmescit was ready to hand Aikaterine the regalia of Gothia, he did something unprecedented and interrupted the coronation.

Claiming that Noble Liuvigoto's heritage cannot pass through the line of an illegitimate emperor, Achila having forfeited all right of his line to bear the crown by neglecting Gothia's traditions, he claimed that he should be crowned instead.

Ioustinos was chased out of Saint Kyrillos' cathedral. Months later, he was back with an army. Knowing that Cherson was likely impregnable, he wanted to win over so much of the empire that the capital would follow suit. The empress didn't consider giving in for a moment and rallied her troops.

Now this could have set the stage for a lasting conflict. The western-backed pretender against the vast, but empty empire. But Ioustinos himself was captured in the sole battle of the succession crisis, and without him, there was no reason left to fight.

​

The Battle of Suvraga Khairkan​

After a short period of ensuring that everyone knew that Gothia was back in the safe hands of a capable ruler, the empress went east. To do what her father failed to, and then continue the work of her predecessors.​

An uneventful journey to China passed, increasing relations between the two peoples closely connected by trade, and Aikaterine then accumulated victories against the khans of the steppe, pushing the borders of civilization further east.

In 1274, she faced her second campaign against the remnant of the Mongol Empire. Able to count on a hardened force of cataphracts, she was confident of yet another victory against an inferior foe who always employed the same, easily countered tactics. Named the Holy for her virtuous being and many victories against the pagan, Aikaterine wanted to keep building a legend that might well see her canonized one day.​

Or so she thought. But the Mongols, despite their many defeats against the Goths, were still a formidable foe, and their Great Khan Yokhunan had earned himself the moniker of “the Wise”. The site of the battle was not the open field where the Mongols had begun their reign of terror. But a mountainous place. Uneven terrain, not suited for their preferred raid and ambush tactic.

This also limited the Gothic cataphracts' efficiency, but without unduly worrying them. The battle swiftly turned into the empress' favour.

But then, Aikaterine was caught off-guard. Unnoticed, the Mongols had managed to send a contingent of footsoldiers - that in itself utterly surprising - into her range, and these unexpected men loosened a volley of arrows towards the empress' right side. Most of them found their mark. Badly struck in both arm and leg, Aikaterine fell back, and another arrow hit her as she fell, perforating her right jaw before ending stuck in her brow.

The Imperial Guard was decimated in that volley, and with the gilded figure's fall off her horse, the battle could have swerved definitely into the nomads' favour. But the Goths had the clear upper hand and instead led an enraged charge against the horsemen, aiming to avenge their fallen monarch.

Once the day was won, the embittered victors wished to recover their empress' body – and found that she was still alive. Badly wounded, definitely. With hardly a chance for survival, yes. But alive. And the empress' physicians somehow managed to save her. Too stubborn to die, they said.

At a high cost. Her right leg and arm, resembling more a pincushion than a human extremity, had to be amputated. The removal of the arrow which had embedded itself in her face left her partly paralysed and blinded her right eye, which led to her wearing a mask over half her face.​

Her days on the battlefield were over. For the rest of her reign, Aikaterine would sit on her throne, appearing to be half-woman, half-metal.

As anyone who waged that many holy wars could be called the Holy, people soon took to calling her the Halved.


​

The Second Half​

Upon her return, it seemed like she didn't trust anyone else with the command of the armies. Or that her martial ambitions had suffered under her severe maiming. In any case, Aikaterine consecrated the next years to a peaceful administration.​

It was time well-spent in preparation for her next attacks against the nomads, attacking five different hordes at the same time in 1283. For the next two decades, Princess Agathe and Thorismod Charax would be the nightmares of the hordes, leading the Gothic armies from victory to victory.

When Pope Alexander III called the Ninth Crusade – for Ireland – in 1284, for the first time the Gothic monarch didn't take part. The Halved told the papal envoy that her armies were far in the east, in part venturing into Mongolia proper like she did ten years earlier. By the time of their return, the crusaders would already have landed in Ireland.

She didn't intend to send the troops she used on her holy endeavour in the east on a fruitless and dangerous voyage. Instead, she made a generous donation, “for Gothia shall always support the valiant warriors of Christ”.

Aikaterine reorganized her empire as well. The nobility entrusted with the conquered lands had a lot of work to build up their lands. Sparsely populated, this left them weak and susceptible to either raids or revolts by former nomads forced to settle down. Tengri, Hindu, Jain revolts were commonplace in zealously Catholic Gothia. These mobs of a few dozen, at most two hundred disgruntled people were often too much for the local nobles.

The Halved thus instituted exarchates in Gothia – under her rule, the exarchates of Khazaria, Sibir, Cumania and Turkestan. One noble from these territories would be designated by the monarch to bundle the exarchate's power in their person. The exarchs would be able to call upon armies big enough to deal with the rebel mobs, allowing the imperial armies to focus on the border while a strong contingent of professional troops and levies defended the crownland.

This also served as an additional incentive for her generals, as both her sister Agathe and Thorismod became the first exarchs of Turkestan and Cumania respectively.

Aikaterine survived her horrific wounds by 26 years. Then, it was a cancer which felled her. In reverence, her son Theudis VII never sat on her throne himself. He said he could never reach her level of regal presence. It felt empty without the presence of the monarch, for her golden right side still remained.​

Though some say he feared her vengeful ghost.

The lasting memory from the reign of Aikaterine the Halved is her epithet. The circumstances of how she attained it, the consequences of her battle wounds. As Theudis VII safely stowed her throne away, the imperial palace in Cherson still exhibits Aikaterine's throne with her original golden protheses, a replica of the empress completing the impressive sight which humbled anyone who had an audience with the empress.

The Gothic people has since seemingly developed quite a fascination with asymmetric persons, as it is quite often reflected in all forms of art, be it in body, like the empress herself, or in spirit, with duelling personalities.

Her successors, starting with Theudis VII – the Strange – imprinted that fascination even more, as he sometimes appeared to be one of that latter kind of men.

In terms of her historical footprint, Aikaterine continued the eastwards expansion of her predecessors without any extraordinary success or defeat. Thus her lasting impact in that regard was the institution of the exarchates. Thanks to the power of the crownlands, even Khazaria was hardly in a position to challenge the imperial throne, and so the innovation seemed bound to succeed.​

 

[RustyHunter]

Seems like another very solid ruler! It's too bad she was so badly maimed, but that did elevate her character to one people will remember.

Her son sounds like another interesting ruler! You're doing really well keeping the rulers varied and interesting to read about.

 

[generalis Julius Caesar]

Indeed, I agree with Rusty. She had the potential to change the tide of the fight against the Mongols but almost fell in her moment of glory.

 

[Midnite Duke]

It is amazing that she reached 70 with her injuries. Her diplomacy approaches that of the Fool! Forty-Three Years!

 

[Cromwell]

A real heronine for the Goths, let's hope her son can live up to her shining example.

 

[Bullfilter]

On he-who-was-quickly-forgotten:

Luckily for Gothia, the Fool died before the people had forgotten his beloved mother. Before the empire's reputation was in complete shambles.

That’s a relief!

His legacy of being purged from historical records continues to the present day

A win-win for both his reputation (better to be forgotten than despised and reviled down the centuries) and Gothia!

Will get to the following chapter next.

 

[alscon]

Seems like another very solid ruler! It's too bad she was so badly maimed, but that did elevate her character to one people will remember.

Her son sounds like another interesting ruler! You're doing really well keeping the rulers varied and interesting to read about.

Solid does describe her quite well. And for someone like that, being "the Halved" is the best way to get remembered through the ages, at least.

He's... weird. In terms of variety, while I always try to do that, I think it's an advantage of the chronicle method - I have the monarch and the chronicle, and for whatever else, I can go wild.

Indeed, I agree with Rusty. She had the potential to change the tide of the fight against the Mongols but almost fell in her moment of glory.

To be honest, there isn't much of a tide left to change - the Mongol Empire disintegrated, and I faintly remember pursuing the inheritor of the Borjigin's incredible wealth - some bloke in Persia owning more gold than basically the entirety of Europe .

Which is why I'm consecrating less and less time to describe the nomad wars - it's to be expected by now.

It is amazing that she reached 70 with her injuries. Her diplomacy approaches that of the Fool! Forty-Three Years!

Stats aren't everything (even if her huge martial certainly helped). Traits also matter a lot, and Aikaterine was quite virtuous, unlike mad Achila.

Also, Gothia's personal treasury was likely well-stocked at that point, so you may basically have to add at least +5 to every stat.

A real heronine for the Goths, let's hope her son can live up to her shining example.

In terms of tenacity, absolutely! A great example, though Theudis (or anyone else for that matter) would likely prefer not to go through the horrific maiming first .

On he-who-was-quickly-forgotten:

That’s a relief!

A win-win for both his reputation (better to be forgotten than despised and reviled down the centuries) and Gothia!

Will get to the following chapter next.

Good thing for him. He would likely have preferred to end up in Cherson's family crypt, but even if he died there, I doubt he would have enjoyed that honour.

Definitely win-win, but especially for the empire.

 

[alscon]

Theudis VII, the Strange

(*20th November, 1256 - †11th January, 1303)​

There's not much known about Theudis VII. During his mother's reign, he was nowhere to be seen. Not leading a mercenary band as tradition would demand, the Crown Prince had somewhat vanished from courtly life.

His whereabouts during that time would surely be wildly discussed if his reign had any long-term importance. But as it lasted for less than three years, he simply remains known as he was during his life – the Strange.

While the oddity of him removing the Halved's throne has already been mentioned, the Strange himself didn't replace it with anything. Leaving the throne room empty, he departed for the east once his mother had been laid to rest alongside her ancestors.

That would suggest that he took command of the Gothic armies fighting the nomads. But the records clearly state the commanders at the time:​

• Kyriakos Cembalo, fighting the Bailjar​
• Countess Sibylla of Aylik and Ioannes Lusta, leading the effort against Syr Darya​
• Exarchessa Agathe of Turkestan, fighting Enkhjargal and their Khotan allies​

Despite being Emperor, there is not a single mention of Theudis VII in the chronicles. In fact, Crown Princess Sergia's mercenary band appears, but not a single letter is consecrated to her father.


​

Perhaps he aspired to follow in Liuvigoto's scientific footsteps, but if he did he discovered nothing of importance. Perhaps he spent his days with alchemy. During Sergia's reign, some suggested that her apparent possession was a result of dark magic employed by her late father.

Or some debt due to a deal with a devil, taken in order to keep his mother alive despite her injuries.

The question marks remain. Theudis does finally take command of an army as the year 1303 begins... and promptly dies in the ensuing battle, at the hands of Chief Chanai of Khilok.​

The Strange then vanishes from history again, this time for good.

​

Theudis VII is the great unknown of Gothia's emperors. He wasn't there during his mother's reign. He wasn't there during his own reign, really.​

Theudis VII is just... the Strange. There's not much more to say about him, really.

But for anyone who needs a Gothic emperor dabbling in the supernatural for his works of fiction, the Strange is there. Nobody can say that he didn't...

 

[Midnite Duke]

Thank you for updating! One small request, could you add dates of rule to date of birth and date of death? I am greedy, I want both. Stats and trait wise, the "Strange" is a pretty good ruler. 4 double digit and a low of six for a total of 53 (I love double digits and a minimum of 40); 3 star intrigue education; (big difference between 2 and 3 star) 3 virtues and no vices. (Sue me, I am a stats Geek who does not recognize all traits.) His 20 November birthday gives two pieces of trivial information. He will probably be part of the 'Zombie bug' which is very fitting for 'the Strange'. His mother will die on the 20th of some month in some year unless she dies violently (murder, battlefield, sacrifice). If you do not mind, can I ask a question about your playstyle? Do you normally take notes or screenshots and does it vary if you are planning on writing an AAR? This is a bonus AAR with end game screenshots and the Chronicle. Thank you for your time.

 

[RustyHunter]

Well, he certainly earned his title of 'the Strange'. His daughter sounds like something of a return to form.

 

[generalis Julius Caesar]

I think that conspiracy theories will be made about the strange in the distant future.

 

[generalis Julius Caesar]

To be honest, there isn't much of a tide left to change - the Mongol Empire disintegrated, and I faintly remember pursuing the inheritor of the Borjigin's incredible wealth - some bloke in Persia owning more gold than basically the entirety of Europe .

I would honestly love to see a story about him, I personally would find it quite interesting.

 

[Midnite Duke]

I would honestly love to see a story about him, I personally would find it quite interesting.

Every CK game has hundreds of interesting stories, if one digs deep enough to find them and has the imagination to flesh out the skeleton that the screenshot provides.