Oirat Spreads Buddhism Around the World! - 1.31.0 Buddhist 1 Faith Run

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 4: The Grand Sunni Coalition

Hello everyone, welcome back to Yuan! Last time, we had some war. And there was also some war. Oh, and who could forget about the war?

Oh, and there was a little bit of war here and there, too.

Alright, that should bring you up to speed, so let's get back at it!

First off, let's borrow money from the 1st Turkish Bank. Wait, borrow implies that we're going to be giving it back. Um, I guess we just wandered around the streets and found 1243 ducats just lying around. Oh well, finders keepers!

Next, we're aiming to "borrow" some land from Ayutthaya and their allies.

And now that we have a lot more access all over the place, it's the PERFECT time to tackle Malacca! It's going to be a pain getting that island province, so hopefully we can sneak it in this war! Because navies are FOR CHUMPS! And we're not chumps!

Pegu gets punched into oblivion. We're aiming to lock down as much of the asian trade as possible, something I had somewhat neglected during my last AAR foray as a horde. Not entirely, but I DID leave the East Indies alone for longer than I should have.

Yeah, I expected as much. The combined naval power of Malacca and Brunei was too much for me to fully occupy them. Oh well, at least we got something out of this!

Now, time to get things rolling. We have a lot of free diplo slots, so why not just vassalize Pagarfadsjklfjasdkhgfasjkghkajsd. Too many syllables, I'm not gonna even bother pretending like I can spell that name. Honestly, it's probably less offensive if I just give up instead of murdering it with an honest attempt.

And this is why we weren't fussed about not full annexing Malacca. We have another way in, and this time, there's no real naval power around to stop us!

GOT YOUR ISLAND, BITCH!!

And now, we own one of the 3 major islands. We'll get the rest soon enough. But we'll need more transports to do that. And maybe... ACTUAL SHIPS!

Ah, right, Europe got revealed. Nothing special, other than a pretty weak reformation. Granted, it popped in 1507, which is the closest I've ever seen it get to the historical date (barring player intervention, of course). But still, I'm used to seeing half of the HRE, and some parts of France and Italy, going blue by this point.

Next on our list for trade domination is Tirhut. We're mostly looking at their allies, and not Tirhut themselves. Plus, Jaunpur won't join, so now's the perfect time for a blitzkrieg!

2 months, and Vijay's truce got reset. Excellent.

OK, time to put the white elephant out of its misery. Got a small army ready to just roll them over and end it as quickly as possible.

But, while we finish consolidating Indochina, we finally start looking westwards. That's right, we're going to start chunking into the grand sunni coalition! HUZZAH!

Annexed and cores revoked. Glorious.

This is the peacedeal we take with Transoxiana. We're cautious about how much AE we take (granted, we're only 8 WS shy of 100% peacedealing them), because the amount of sunni nations is STAGGERING. Seriously, if we let it form, a grand sunni coalition would be almost like a Vietnam or Afghanistan for us. I say almost, because unlike the US or Soviets, we wouldn't give up and lose. It'd just really, REALLY slow us down.

Anyways, this is why we took such snake-y land in the peace deal. Samarkand has some GREAT wonders. Like this one here, which, at its max, gives -15% WS cost vs other religions.

So yeah, that's basically a perma-version of the age of reformations bonus. Only stipulation is that Samarkand must remain Sunni (and I think either Altaic or Persian culture group. A lot of wonders have that as a secondary requirement, culture of some sort.)

Additionally, we managed to snag the Buddha Statues, which will give us an additional missionary, so long as we flip the province to Theravada.

Why Theravada and not any of the other branches of Buddhism? Well, that's because when coding the wonders, they specifically listed BUDDHISM as the requirement. And old guard players (like myself) will remember that, before being split in 3, Buddhism used to be a single, unified religion called "Buddhism" (shocker, I know. I would have thought they'd call it "Funny Big Eared Elephant That Can Fly," but apparently that's just "Dumbo."). And, when they made the switch, Theravada kept the code tag of "Buddhism."

So, basically, Theravada is the only real school of Buddhism in PDX's eyes.

Bengal now hates us. Good, we hate them and how they're squatting on our land!

Hi Vijay! Remember us? We're here to borrow a cup of sugar. By any means necessary.

Tirhut is gone, we don't need them around anymore.

And we keep splitting Vijay into pieces.

Honestly, I'm surprised Bahmanis hasn't jumped on the smoldering corpse, considering they have neighboring, undefendable land they could get.

Alright, we're finally done with you, Malacca! Time to meet your maker!

Oh, and speaking of makers, the HRE is now FINALLY starting to debate whether or not they want to have the gold "t" with a little man on it, or the blue "t" without the little man on it, as their favorite flavor of "t". I, personally, prefer purple "t" with an additional line crossed through it.

Now, thanks to Malacca, we have a proper foothold in Borneo. Who needs a naval invasion when you have proper planning instead!

And Malacca finally gets into the backka my trackka, gets driven to an isolated field, and gets cappa'd.

TECH 17! TECH 17! ADMIN EFFICIENCY GET!

Ok, Gilligan, what are you doing here? Why aren't you on that island with the skipper and the professor?! What, you're not Gilligan, you're just Gilan? WHY I AUGHTA!!

Uzbek has no friends. So we decide to give them a warm embrace.

Justified wars? We needed justification? Whoops!

Uzbek got the biggest hug they've ever seen in their entire life, they never want to leave that embrace!

Ugh, trash heir, hope he dies, or we die before he hits 15 so we get a better one.

Now, we're finally getting some monuments going online. We payed the initial 1k to start upgrading, but for a mere 300, we can speed things up. If we wanted to, we could spend 2.5k ducats to upgrade it to the next level in ONE DAY!

But we won't go that far, not yet at least. Still working on getting manufactories up and running!

Gilligan now wishes he never got off that island. Not that it'd make him any safer, but he doesn't need to know that!

Now that we're at peace, we use this time to threaten land from Sunda. And it works! WHO NEEDS A BOAT, ANYWAYS?!

AND, Delhi becomes our vassal. They have a lot of cores we can snag for super cheap!

And that also includes via threatening war!

Now, after several, SEVERAL decades, we finally decide to swap our synthetic religion to sunni. It'll give us less AE when we take sunni land, since we're considered to be sunni ourselves. Probably should have done that earlier, but eh, not a big deal.

Plus, doing so means that we are no longer a heathen to sunni nations. And that means the Ottomans will have us as allies!

Easiest way to stop the sunni coalition from forming is to take away the Turks from them. Do that, and they'll almost never form one, especially at our size!

Chagatai, you're in a bit of an awkward spot. Mind handing over more land to us, so it's not as awkward? Thanks!

Oh, shoot, we didn't take any Chagatian land. Just Kazakh and Nogain land. Darn, I must have misread the peace papers.

Transoxiana, it's time for round two! I hope you're ready to rumble!

Sibir got peaced out, but honestly, that was because we didn't want to siege down all that massive land. We'll do that later.

Huh. We lost. I mean, we definitely need more cannons, but really? A loss? Oh well, we killed way more than we had die, so who cares. Manpower is just a number, at least for us!

And finally, we eat the northern half of Transoxiana! We've officially started our assault on the grand sunni coalition, and we'll be doing everything we can to keep it from forming and impeding our progress!

But that's all for now, I hope you enjoyed this part!

 

[Cromwell]

I'm in awe of how fast you are doing this, makes me look like a kid when I'm playing my games.

 

[firezatswill9]

I'm in awe of how fast you are doing this, makes me look like a kid when I'm playing my games.

That's the power of hordes, baby! Even then, I've been really casual about things, if I went hardcore sweaty mode from the beginning, I'd probably be almost done with the entirety of Asia. But this is a relaxing run, no need for headaches or heartaches here!

 

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 5: Absolutism? Yes. Always.

Hello, welcome back to Yuan and their buddhist escapades! Sorry for going AWOL for a week, my GF wanted me to spend some more time with her during the week, and so I didn't have access to my screenshots for a while.

Anyways, you don't care about that stuff, so let's just get back into the good stuff: LOOTING AND PILLAGING!

First off, we finally restored horde rule over the steppe, and now we have actual claims on the rich lands of Persia. Mmmmm, cheap rugs, delicious.

But, we don't use any of those perma claims yet. Instead, we DoW Haasa, and co belligerentify the Mamluks. Why? Because I have a plan, that's why!

And while we're at it, let's finally control the spice. It must flow, but only into our pocket!

University event? Of course we'll take the free stability! Who needs forward thinkers when you have PILLAGING?

Hejaz, we don't want to own your land yet, so you keep it under wraps for us, OK? We'll be back at 5 on Sunday to pick them up, don't have too much fun you rascal, you!

Baluchistan gets off with a light warning. I don't know why I didn't eat them separately. Maybe there was an alliance that they had that would have been useful for a free truce reset? IDK, that's probably it.

Not a full annex, but the spice flows freely to Khanbaliq!

Vijay, it's time for another partitioning! And Bahmanis, shame on you for not pouncing on your weak neighbor when they were ally-less!

9 years ahead of time? Who cares, we'll take our next idea group, please!

And, of course, we take humanist. Less rebels and more stability, best thing since sliced bread. Also, it ties really well with our humanist-lite idea group (horde)!

Now, we peace out the Mamluks for a very, VERY strategic peace. We get the Suez canal zone, some cash, and we make the Mamluks lose their cores on Syria. If we didn't do that, it's highly likely that the Ottomans would have dropped us, gone hostile, and allowed coalitions of sunnis to form against us. So we had to tread lightly.

But we got what we wanted from the Haasa war. Why go through all this trouble for 2 provinces?

Bye bye, small fry!

We are cutting it CLOSE. On a razor's edge, here. But close is still good enough.

Vijay loses a lot of coastline, as well as the stuff by Orissa. May as well take the land if the neighbors are passing it up, after all!

I think I took this after loading the save, which reset the AI and everything, so now we're back in black with the Turks. Good to go, for now at least!

Hmmm, Delhi has a lot of cores we can retrieve for them. Why don't we do that, huh Multan?

Gujurat lives to die another day. Congrats on the life, Guj!

Sibir, you've been sitting there as an annoying blob, doing nothing. We'll fix that for you.

Delhi gets their Jaunpuri cores back. See, we can be nice to our subjects!

And now, we get an extra 5% admin efficiency from the age ability. We're going to be ramping up now, that's for sure!

Multan gives back the remaining Delhi cores, as well as some key provinces that will make future wars easier. No more forts for you!

Now, for our next trick, we declare war on Mewar! I mean, it's in their name, after all. They're always clamoring for "me war! Me war!" after all!

Vijay gets a white peace. Too much land to eat as a non co belligerent, so may as well get them in a big chunk next time!

Darn, we are really being limited by our admin efficiency. I know it's only 1621, but still!

Also, some time before the war with Bahmanis, Portugal sniped Goa via their mission event, so we couldn't take it in the war. But we're going to rectify that, post haste! And you know what, Ottomans, you can come too! I trust you can take care of all the work, right?

Because I have claims to attend to, starting with Transoxiana!

Ladakh got lapped up nicely!

And unfortunately, Transoxiana manages to survive as an OPM. Not happy about that, not at all.

Portugal conceded a lot a land to us, mostly colonial islands and the like, as well as Algarve. Now we have our foothold in Europe!

Oh, right, we had something going with Gujurat? I'm not sure, but it looks like it got resolved.

Vijay, come out and play-ay!

Also we DoW'd Sunda at some point, again. I guess I got a bit TOO casual with my screenshot taking. Whoops.

Hmmm, the 3/4/4 wouldn't have been bad, but I guess we can deal with a 1/6/3. Really unbalanced statwise, but I'm not gonna savescum rulers, that's kinda lame.

But hey, at least his heir is fantastic! And he's 8, too, so we just need to live 7 years at least, and we get him as a ruler!

Next age ability, more passive absolutism. We already have some from having control of our crownland, but more passive upticks are better!

Sunda is Sundead.

Vijay is ALMOST dead. We can't take the land that's occupied, unfortunately. If they survive, we'll kill them for sure next time!

Spoilers, they don't survive.

Gujarat, thanks for eating Vijay for us! But, Bahmanis, we're disappointed that you never ONCE targeted your yellow rival. So now we're going to give you a stern talking to about that unacceptable behavior!

And a VERY stern talking to it was! I'm not sure they learned their lesson, though...

OK, Fars? You're now the biggest Persian tag in Persia, so you're the new target. I'm sure you've prepared for this, and are ready to rumble. What, you didn't? You DID see the memo, right? If you could get on that, that'd be great.

Transoxiana is now gone forever. Look at all those cores just disappear!

Next on the to do list: Jaunpur and Afghanistan! May as well consolidate the region while we're in the area, right?

You're gonna go Fars, kid? Nah, I think you got fed a lie there. Fars away, maybe.

Ottomans, with a war against Russia and France? I guess we can join, but it's not like we want to do anything or anything.

This is why you don't want allies, so freaking needy, my God.

Afghanistan is now an OPM. Really, REALLY need that admin efficiency boost.

And finally, Jaunpur is Jaundead. Does that make sense? As a pun, no. As an explanation about the screenshot? Yes. Do I care enough to make the change and think about something else to put here instead? Eh, kinda, but since this is the end of the chapter I don't really have the energy to do so.

I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you soon!

 

[Empress Redbird]

You DID see the memo, right? If you could get on that, that'd be great.

Is that an Office Space reference? Nice.

You're gonna go Fars, kid? Nah, I think you got fed a lie there. Fars away, maybe.

Loving the pun.
I noticed there weren't any tasty links interspersed in at least this chapter and the one before. Are they too much effort for the response you get?

Anyway, it really looks like you've got the Sunni menace under control. Would it be considered the Green Scare? Who knows.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter! I've got the feeling that soon you're going to make some surprise friends in Africa

 

[firezatswill9]

Is that an Office Space reference? Nice.

Loving the pun.
I noticed there weren't any tasty links interspersed in at least this chapter and the one before. Are they too much effort for the response you get?

Anyway, it really looks like you've got the Sunni menace under control. Would it be considered the Green Scare? Who knows.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter! I've got the feeling that soon you're going to make some surprise friends in Africa

Yes, it was an Office Space reference, good eye. And I would have added in links if I hadn't had to rewrite this part 3 times due to it getting eaten by internet goblins or whatever. So this was literally my "the hell with it, at least it's out there now" version. Hopefully I can go back to throwing in some links here and there in the next part.

And yes, the green menace is now limited to the typical green menace. And even then, they're not scary. And that's not just because we're allied!

 

[Cromwell]

What's your navy like at the moment?

 

[firezatswill9]

What's your navy like at the moment?

My navy?

Who needs a navy when you have a direct land connection around all of Asia?

But right now it's maybe 30 transports and some inherited light ships. The naval game has never been fun for me, so I tend to ignore it.

 

[Cromwell]

Boo! The horsemen must be able to project power over the great wet step to other lands.

 

[jak7139]

The conquest ramps up! It looks like nothing can stop the Yuan now.

How are you managing Religious Unity?

 

[Tom D.]

So I know I'm literally a year late but I had almost forgotten about the great firesatzwill9 AARs of old, sad to see you never finished it but it was a great read so far. Hopefully we see another one at some point ^^.

 

[firezatswill9]

So I know I'm literally a year late but I had almost forgotten about the great firesatzwill9 AARs of old, sad to see you never finished it but it was a great read so far. Hopefully we see another one at some point ^^.

 

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 6: We're Back! A Yuan Story


Hey everyone, I know it's been like, 5 days since my last chapter update, and I- wait, hold on... It's twenty-twenty what now? Shoot, looks like I forgot to wind my watch. Uh, like I was saying, it's been about a YEAR and five days since my last update, so thanks for being patient. I was... rescuing... underprivileged... dolphins, yeah dolphins, from a... gang of... murderous... monster truck driving... Finnish... ghost sharks. Yeah, I'm sure you heard about it all over the news lately, so I don't need to bore you with the details. But now that those poor poor dolphins are now free from the tyranny of the homicidal, gas guzzler driving, spirit of Jaws, I can finally continue with the AAR, so let's get into it!

...What were we doing again? Maybe a look at the screenshots will jog my memory.

OK, so I remember why I took these screenshots, funny enough. I wasn't sure if it was a bug or just bad luck, but it turns out that SOMEHOW, by updating literally everywhere BUT Europe/the Middle East, patch 1.31 managed to somehow mess up the Ottoman's government type and heir selection. Which made them super weak compared to normal, which was alright I guess but still, the appalling stats made me laugh for all the wrong reasons.

Completely and utterly broken. At least it wasn't busted to be a 0/0/0, otherwise I think the Turk would have always died in the Leviathan patch!

Anyhow, we've been only in one war for these past few screenshots, time to go after QQ! I'm sure there was a reason we went for a holy war instead of tribal conquest. Or maybe I changed to the proper war goal after I took the shot. I don't know, this is literally from a year ago at this point, and all I can do is guess and vaguely recollect things at this point.

Wait, were we at war with Russia for some reason in the first place? Or did I just want them to fuck off? *looks to previous part* Oh, right, Mehmed wanted me to carry his worthless ass to victory. And we joined with a hearty "ugh, not again." So we're just gonna bounce now, we got more important things to do.

Gilan's gone, and that coalition list is shrinking slowly but surely.

QQ have officially said GG before FFing from the match. And now the coalition list is a bit bigger again. Eh, easy go, easy come.

Riiiiiiiight, this patch was so unbelievably busted that we got insane reform progress from having high autonomy. So we're using that to switch a reform so we can have a higher absolutism cap. Given that it's already about 30 years since absolutism spawned, I'm guessing that I didn't plan to go for C&C this run. Or if I did, I REALLY put it off. Which is stupid if I did, making past me an idiot. But if I was planning to not need it, then past me is a genius.

Time for another romp in the Indian thunderdome! Mewar, it's time to go bye bye! Bahmanis can't save you!

Speaking of, that Bahmanis guy can get kicked to the curb!

Time for more challengers in this thunderdome! Taking all bets, who's going to win? Yuan, or the Multan Alliance? Odds are 5000:1 in favor of Yuan, of course!

Mewar will now experience Nowar.

Malwa loses Bengal as a friend. Which I'm sure was a tactically genius move and not just something I could do so I did it. I mean, I did go to college, after all, so clearly I've got to be intellimagent.

Looks like we're going after all the potential coalition members now, starting with Gujarat and their friends.

Afghanistan, graveyard of empires? Yeah, I guess if your empire SUCKS or something smh.

Multan is, in fact, NOT multalented. Multi-talented. Multialented. Mutanlanented. Multan is not a jack of all trades, and could not survive.

Baluchistan is a constant pain in my ass in pretty much every campaign, despite having next to no development, a pathetic army, and no naval presence at all. Yet they're always jumping at the bit to get into my wars like they're gonna stop me or something. Well, they get what they deserve, full annexation and razed lands!

Mahra is almost fully annexed. Seeing how I left them with a single province, either they were a fierce negotiator (worst AI trait in the world, PDX please fix or remove, it's literal cancer on wars) or they were allied to someone I wanted to be able to drag into a war with. Or something else, I don't know man.

OK, so I DID have a reason to annul the alliance when I peaced out Malwa! Time for us to add some tigers to our ranks, lads!

Gujurat is too big, barely so, to be a one war deal. This is a constant annoyance at this point, I do remember that.

I mean, look at what we get from Bengal! Barely anything! This is horrible, we should have at least been able to landlock them! We need a solution to this problem...

...and that solution, is JOHN CE- Spain, it's to attack Spain. Well, Castile, but you know. Same difference.

We only have 60k of our forces in Iberia, but that should be enough, especially if we keep to flatlands. Even low rolls won't stop us!

Morale is definitely in Castile's favor, but as long as we kill more of them, we have this. It doesn't matter how much morale a soldier has if he's dead in a ditch!

KEEP SHOOTING THEM!

See? Easy win. Hardly even a scratch on us. But we COULD do with more cannons, that I can't deny.

ENRIQUE, JUST GIVE UP ALREADY!

It's like trying to herd cats, an exercise in futility. Well, if they won't roll over and die, I guess we need to do this the hard way, and drag this war out.

OK, Bahmanis is going down, while we wait for Castile to get their act together.

And get their act together they did, in just 6 months, too! We take the classic re-reconquista peace deal one would take as Granada in 1450 or so, since we don't need to get *shudders* Europeans *vomits profusely* interested in our affairs.

And now that we have Granada, we have the great project that caused so much uproar before, during, and after release! Alhambra, at max level, will give you FIFTEEN PERCENT (15%) AE, which is IN-FUCKING-SANE. That's more than max absolutism, more than you get at tech 17. It's literally 1.5 AE increasing techs, massive, and broken in that it's only available if the province (at the time, at least) is either Christian or Islamic (iirc. Maybe it was just christian, which I wouldn't doubt but JFC that's so bad I don't know how anyone thought I was a good idea to limit something that powerful to what's already a powerful set of nations)

So now, wars will be MUCH more productive. We can annex so many more nations in one go!

And, couple that with the other modifiers we can get, like WS cost reduction against other religions, and we've basically become a horde on coke. Just need to get the capital to upgrade them, but that's incredibly easy.

While we wait, let's keep daisy-chaining wars, like a horde would do or something!

Bahmanis is officially gone, thank God that they are. Really annoying to have to constantly walk around them.

Chagatai is ALMOST fully annexed. We're still waiting on our cores, which is why we can't get the full annex just yet. Why I didn't wait will be a mystery to me, though...

I'm sure there was a reason I didn't wait before annexing lands from Malwa, but whatever. That's past me, and past me was an idiot!

Next up, more of our attack on the grand sunni coalition!

I guess Mahra was a fierce negotiator, since I full annexed them here. Stupid AI...

Almost full annexed Circassia. We got what we wanted, and then left. Because we are the greatest ever, and then left for no reason.

Haasa found that Yuan is no laughing matter.

And lastly, for today, we get ready to declare war on Jianzhou, our little "get out of coalitions free" buddy, who is so far from the front that he's no longer able to join the coalition, thereby removing his purpose on this earth.

But that's all for now, I promise this time that I'll try and update this and get it finished! Before, when we were just on 1.31, I honestly felt a bit bad about the state of the game and that a game I thoroughly enjoyed had fallen so far into the dumpster that writing about it basically was a chore. But now that it's currently clawing its way out of said dumpster, inch by inch, I think I can get back into this!

So I hope you enjoyed, and I should hopefully see you soon!

 

[jak7139]

Welcome back!

 

[Lepaso]

Glad to see you're back from the dead or whatever, your AARs are the best.

 

[HistoryDude]

The Yuan are doing really well. Finally, the Europeans have begun to learn of your might!

I'm surprised that your save survived that long. I completely know the feeling of "it has been that long, and, then, checking the date and realizing that it has been that long". It's why one of my AARs had a 2-year hiatus.

 

[firezatswill9]

Welcome back!

Glad to see you're back from the dead or whatever, your AARs are the best.

Thanks for the warm welcomes! Looks like all I needed was some time away and for the game to get patched a dozen times over to respark my interest!

The Yuan are doing really well. Finally, the Europeans have begun to learn of your might!

I'm surprised that your save survived that long. I completely know the feeling of "it has been that long, and, then, checking the date and realizing that it has been that long". It's why one of my AARs had a 2-year hiatus.

Somewhat more embarrassing is that I completed this run right before I wrote my first chapter, so I've had these screenshots on my hard drive for over a year. I still have the save, too, and I'm sure if I rolled back to 1.31's earliest available patch, I could go back through and play around in it if I wanted to!

 

[Tom D.]

I never expected my response to encourage you to start writing again! I'm very glad to see you're back and want to finish it! These type of AARs makes me think of the great atwix' AARs we had back in the day. Keep up the good work!

Or if I did, I REALLY put it off. Which is stupid if I did, making past me an idiot. But if I was planning to not need it, then past me is a genius.

You don't happen to watch CallMeKevin by any chance? Cause that sounds so much like him haha. Could very well be a coincidence but I couldn't help but notice it ^^.

 

[firezatswill9]

I never expected my response to encourage you to start writing again! I'm very glad to see you're back and want to finish it! These type of AARs makes me think of the great atwix' AARs we had back in the day. Keep up the good work!


You don't happen to watch CallMeKevin by any chance? Cause that sounds so much like him haha. Could very well be a coincidence but I couldn't help but notice it ^^.

Sometimes all it takes is a little push, that's all! In fact, I've recently been told about a mod that I'm thinking about writing a new AAR about after finishing this one. Something that's just so horrifying that I can't NOT do it.

And while yes, I do in fact watch the military genius's videos, funny enough I've been referring to things as "past me" or "future me" problems since I was in... junior high? High school? Over a decade at the very least. Not to say that in a "I've been saying that since before it was popularized" hipster way or anything, more just surprise that I hadn't used it sooner in an AAR XD

 

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Block

Hey. It's me. Ya boi. Here with more Yuan. One of these days we'll get into converting or whatever. But for now, it's just war. Let's get to it!

Finally, after 202 years! We have the alhambra, AND it's fully operational! 15% AE on top of the bits from tech, absolutism, and the age bonus, we're able to eat a LOT of clay in relatively short order.

We're not even maxed out on absolutism or anything, and yet we've got Isleta down to two wars. Which I guess was impressive or something. Or I just used them to show off the AE bonus.

But for now, it's time to go after Indonesia. We've got a BONE to pick with them! Get it? It's because we're gonna... DOW... Bone. Yeah. Funny joke.

Manufactories spawn, and not in our country. Oh well, we got plenty in our lands, so we're gonna get it in short order anyways.

Bone's gone. No more worrying about stupid stupid rat creatures for them! (If you get it, you get it, and you a real one or something. IDK I think that's what the kids say nowadays)

Oh, right! I remember this! We originally only took the Suez corridor so we could get access to the Mediterranean sea and core Granada, and always intended on getting rid of the land after. But I guess I forgot to get rid of it or something? Either way, the Otto's claim on it makes things awkward between us. What, with them wanting the land for some dumb reason, and whenever they come to ask for it, we reverse Uno card them and ask THEM for some cash, then send them away with empty wallets and no clay. Because Yuanites are clearly jedis or some shit.

Anyways we're sick of the Ottoman dance we've had to do, so we just give the land back to the Mamluks. NBD, we got what we wanted from them for now.

See, now they hate use a bit less, like all good neighbors!

Oh, right, this was the patch where everyone was bitching about native development and how it was "unhistorical" and "unimmersive" and "broken." And honestly, I never understood the historical or immersive complaints. You're controlling a nation, that has been gamified and simplified down to a far cry from anything remotely similar to what it was like back in ye olden days, and are capable of eating your neighbors in such a way that would have gotten you coalitioned to hell and back more than Napoleon but doesn't because you avoid certain thresholds. But some big cities are in native lands, and that dev gets dispersed upon annexation? THAT'S A BRIDGE TOO FAR!

But really, I had no problems with the dev, natives are always free real estate, and them actually expanding makes it so much faster to eat the new world.

OK, I guess we're going into Russia again? At least this time we might have a reason to do so? Or not, IDK, I can't read my own mind!

But looks like the ruskies didn't expect to be invaded by a horde AGAIN! It's not like they had a history of that or anything.

I don't remember why this stack was so small. It might have been an accidental split, or some small stack I got from a vassal or something?

We lost, but it was literally 4 guys against 17, and we didn't get wiped. So honestly, that's a win. But really, why a 4 stack? That's so stupid, god past me is so stupid, probably can't even tie his shoes right!

Oh shoot, right, I forgot about Iberia, Uh, France, you uh, you want to just call it a tie for today?

Damn, I guess they didn't.

Well, it's not like we're at war with 2 majors or anything, so let's go after more of the Sunni coalition! It's gonna die sometime!

Stability and bonus morale? Just what the doctor ordered!

Eh, two wars isn't that big of a deal, let's make it an even three.

Mamluks, we graciously gifted you land that we had previously sieged, stolen, plundered, razed, exploited, and destroyed buildings in, and you joined that war against us? We're hurt. We'll need some money for some retail therapy!

FUCK OFF FRANCE, WE'RE PILLAGING ILE-DE-FROGS AND TAKING YOUR MONEY!

Ajam is eaten, the coalition is getting smaller. Soon, we can move on to more interesting fronts!

Ooooh, a paragraph of what is sure to be interesting text. But reading's for nerds, I just click buttons and hope they give me a serotonin. And this serotonin is a 4/4/3/3 general!

Hejaz gets MASSACRED. Like, just yikes at that border. 1000% that was to take forts and mountains and what have you, but still. Oof.

Alright, now for Russia. We don't want to have to siege Siberia, so we take it now, before they can fortify any part of it. And the weird kinda inverse U shape we took was because the Ottos occupied everything else to the south, and we're not feeding a turkey today!

SHRINK, SHRINK, SHRIIIIIIIINK!

...Why'd I screenshot this?

New heir in the house.

Malwa gets off with a white peace. No idea why, maybe I just couldn't see their land since it already looks like it's Yuan red.

Chagatai, FINALLY, is dead. Stupid rump state....

And Hormuz also perishes. That coalition is looking small. Shrinking faster than swimming in icy water, that's for sure!

We are almost the sole owner of India!

But hey, for old times sake, hey Otto? I know you haven't come knocking since we gave away our last cup of Suez, but can you lend me 3000 shekels? Thanks pal!

KHAN IS DEAD, HEIR IS DEAD! NEW KHAN IS A 4/4/2! MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK AGAIN!

Now, it's a staple of my campaigns, but I HATE naval invasions. So as usual, I coerce my way onto Madagascar. Good old gunboat diplomacy!

Now, despite having just a minor border with Lithuania, we DO have a continuous land connection to them. Meaning we don't need to worry about only being able to core one province at a time. So let's have a foray into the marshes, what say?

Russia nopes out of the war right quick. We took two provinces, to what end, I haven't the foggiest clue.

Ah, nevermind about taking Lithuanian clay. We were using that to distract the Ottomans while we eat Sibir.

Next up, more spices!

Brandenburg isn't anything compared to Yuan!

Goodbye and good riddance, you pest!

CLOVES CLOVES CLOVES!

Once again, I confirm that the Ottoman gov't is busted in this patch. Broken by some strange coding hoodoo magic.

More money, always useful, until it truly becomes just a number.

Next on the chopping block, Malindi! We want that horn, that human African horn!

Pillaging, almost half as good as razing! ALMOST.

Oh, scratch that scratch from the record I said a bit back, I guess we WERE just going for eating Lithuania in one bite, with room to spare for getting their coffers empty!

But that's all for now. NGL kinda tired today, but I didn't want to leave this half finished after getting most of it written. So I pushed on through, and we're getting kinda close to the end, we mostly just have Europe to deal with at this point. That and the new world, but as I said before, natives are free real estate.

Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you again soonish!