"Guess-the-Author" Analysis and Critiques

[DensleyBlair]

And your authors are taken from the following list, randomly compiled.

@Swuul
@Cora Giantkiller
@Macavity116
@GangsterSynod
@HistoryDude
@Avernite
@Peter Ebbesen
@El Pip
@TheButterflyComposer
@DensleyBlair
@Wyvern
@stnylan
@coz1

 

[Avernite]

Author #1

To be honest, I loved this one. I also suspect Peter Ebbesen wrote it and tried to frame me based on the fact this supposedly advanced spaceplane has a weaksauce weakness, the kind of oversight he has accused me of in both my space-themed story of last time and early 2017 (and, to be fair, not without reason).

Plus the whole 'You There' episode reminds me of the Timurid Scientists. And the 'imagine, if you will' is likewise fitting. I could, of course, be led on a wild goose-chase by someone spoofing Peter while maybe framing me...

As to the content, I liked the inclusion of pictures. It wasn't strictly necessary, because the shape of the alien really isn't relevant, but it was fun all the same.
What jarred me a bit is how the escapee managed to convince everyone he should be let free. The two bountyhunters spotted this alien in a predicament and went in to collect, only for the humans to decide they'd side with the alien and shoot down the space-ship, but letting the alien go free... Did they even try cooking it?

Also, I'm a bit puzzled by the siege. Why would the besiegers and besieged together share food to eachother? Much better for the besiegers to let the besieged starve, no? Mind, I get why - the plane had to be shot down to show cannonballs can do it - but it's a bit confusing.

For the rest the story is peppered with short gags all about, and so the flow keeps up even when it's really quite a dour theme. Who knew cannibalism could make a fun story?

I sadly haven't much concrete constructive criticism to offer. The story works, to me, even if the exposition on the bounty alien's shape felt a bit excessive.

 

[Avernite]

Author #2

This could be called 'I threw everything from last round into the kitchen sink and started stirring'. And that is certainly the title and the early part, with Erin, Konge, and the Blue Ones all re-appearing. Makes you wonder where the devil and sunset invasion are...
Oh wait. The very first sentence has the sunset invading the cave. Okay.

However, like the previous story, this has lots of gags, and it feels like most of the referencing the previous round IS gags only. On a deeper level, this is very much the story of Erin finding her silver throne, perhaps a bit in your face with the 'the impersonator that stood where Todd should have been'.

In other words, I am tempted to mark Wyvern as writing it. There are additional hints why it could be Wyvern, as there's repeated reference to a Throne of Heaven, which was an MP campaign run way back in the mid-2000's (I guess?) run by Wyvern and Peter. However, we can note that Swuul also joined this thread just around last round, and he's usually been the third of the Wyvern-Peter-Swuul grouping on these forums.

Since I already fingered Peter for the first, then, I am torn between Wyvern as himself and Swuul trying to frame Wyvern for it. For now, I stick to Swuul, given the use of gray (US spelling) alongside grey (UK spelling), suggesting a non-native speaker.

Overall we see Erin as a 'hero' at the end of her quest. She's fed up with it all and wants it to end, even while Konge still seemingly is careful to live through it. You'd think she's learned a bit more care over the length of her quest, but apparently that's in short supply. She talks loudly, she foolishly reiterates that it's HER throne (remniscent of certain foolish/impetuous characters in Wheel of Time, maybe? Even as the wording is clearly stolen from the Song of Ice and Fire), and so on - but then even Konge leaps to try to get home, suggesting maybe their adventure has either been too harrowing to accept delay, or just not that hard on the impetuous.

Having been reminded of Lovecraft by the 5th author, the shadow out of time and space for Konge suggests a Lovecraftian reference wasn't beyond the author either, so I probably am missing some references (the later reference to Yith confirms it).

Gothmog is the obvious Balrog of course.

If there's something to criticize, it's that there's a bit too many interrupts in the sentences. One or two seem to be references, so perhaps the others are too - in which case the author maybe overdid it, emphasizing reference-density over the good of the story. But for the length of the story, I suppose it works.

 

[Avernite]

Author #3

Midsummer, eh? Wasn't the theme mid-wi... oh.

Overall this is a solid dreary piece (but then, do we ever write true optimism? Even author 1 and 2 made death and cannibalism cheerful, the base matter was still dreadful enough).

"Still, Thankade was anxious to know what the big deal was " My criticism would be that, at the end of the piece, I still am not so sure. What WAS the big deal? Sure it is dreadful and scary, but... Than never seems to acknowledge he's learning something profound, although he does acknowledge unspecified sins.

As a result, I am tempted to pin this on TheButterflyComposer, who often writes great pieces that don't click for me. The names also could use some work in distinctiveness (I first reading thought Than had been admitting all the truths, which made the 'big deal' seem even less big), but sound similar to piece 3 from last time, which again, TBC wrote.

Now, as to deeper criticism: the story overall flows well, though I am left wondering how one shoots a bow after cutting off one's hand. A crossbow maybe/barely, but a bow? But anyway, it's clearly somewhat magical, so I suspect even that the hand never truly left Than's body.

Overall a nice piece, the sense of dread is felt well even if I am not sure what we had to fear in the end. The big deal was set up, the payoff was just a bit less spectacular.

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

I'm loving these critiques avernite but just have to interject...

As a result, I am tempted to pin this on TheButterflyComposer, who often writes great pieces that don't click for me.

Reading through them all, I was sure the first or second would be pegged as mine, given the gags and dialogue. This one though? Not so much.

The names also could use some work in distinctiveness (I first reading thought Than had been admitting all the truths, which made the 'big deal' seem even less big), but sound similar to piece 3 from last time, which again, TBC wrote.

Um...no, I didn't write anything with names in last time.

Now, as to deeper criticism: the story overall flows well, though I am left wondering how one shoots a bow after cutting off one's hand. A crossbow maybe/barely, but a bow? But anyway, it's clearly somewhat magical, so I suspect even that the hand never truly left Than's body.

Now this is a mistake I would never allow. It is all but impossible to loose either bow or crossbow without two hands, unless with very special tools...

 

[Avernite]

I'm loving these critiques avernite but just have to interject...



Reading through them all, I was sure the first or second would be pegged as mine, given the gags and dialogue. This one though? Not so much.



Um...no, I didn't write anything with names in last time.



Now this is a mistake I would never allow. It is all but impossible to loose either bow or crossbow without two hands, unless with very special tools...

Oh woops. I confused your piece with HistoryDude's! So uhh. Updating/reassigning my guess from you to HistoryDude then

 

[DensleyBlair]

Good to see the trickery is already tying people up in knots…

 

[Wyvern]

Bravo to whoever wrote entry #2. Avernite's critique piqued my interest so I had to read it first, and I loved it. It's long. Probably too long for one of these Guess the Author rounds to be honest, yet it worked and I didn't for a second feel like putting it to one side. I wonder how well it would work if one didn't get all the inside gags? I can't answer that one.

Whoever wrote it was obviously around back in 2004, or if they weren't they did some very clever research, as we see not just 'the throne of heaven' referenced, which could of course be a happy coincidence as it's hardly a unique name, but then there's a character called Alesso (my character from ToH), which stretches coincidence just a bit far, and then to seal the deal, Gothmog pops up along with Amzad and Alvero . . .

Okay so who was involved back then? @Peter Ebbesen, myself, @Swuul, @Avernite, all have to be prime suspects, but perhaps there's a dark horse we're missing? @coz1 and @stnylan were around too, but no idea if they ever came across the ToH AAR. I'm ruling myself out for obvious reasons, and Peter too even though he's very capable of writing such a piece, and it would amuse him highly to do so, but the humour doesn't quite fit his normal style (though he's been known to bluff and mask that before). Part of me wants to pick @TheButterflyComposer, as some of it feels rather like entry #3 from the last round, but then we notice he's only been on the boards since 2016, so perhaps that's a stretch. Another part of me feels someone is playing a very clever game in trying to pin it on me or Peter, right down to the entries title font.

Further analysis and reading of the other entries is needed, but prime suspect has to be Avernite, with Swuul a close second!

(Throne of Heaven AAR URL if you too are interested in playing detective)

 

[Swuul]

Author #1
I like this story, quite a lot
In the text itself there are a couple anomalies. The ",,,Shit" seems strange, it is a typing error I have seen many americans use at some point. Also, anybody who knows anything about armies (like, having done service) knows Sergeants are not part of officer corps (I know, I am a Staff Sergeant in Reserve myself), and any Sergeant would be pissed off if somebody called them part of the officer corps (all Sergeants know the officers make the blunders, and it is the job of Sergeants to fix things afterwards). So, a civilian american.
My guess: Cora Giantkiller
(my sincerest apologies if you have done service, but I haven't noticed anything in your texts which would suggest you have)


Author #2
Hah, this is Throne of Heavens MP AAR, written from a different angle!
It is very obvious the intention is to throw the shadow of suspicion on me, Peter or Wyvern here. But it is not Peter, as he would never ever use the danish word of "king" as one of the main protagonists (that is sacrilege, which anybody who has lived in Denmark would understand). And it is not Wyvern, because of the american way of typing certain words (like grey - gray). And I know it is not me. I could well see a young Avernite eagerly reading the AAR of the campaign where his brother took part, and leaving an everlasting stamp on his soul as he was too young to take part. I also seem to remember coz1 was quite fond of the MP AAR at the time, so maybe he could have dug it out from his memory? Hmm, which one is it?
My guess: Avernite


Author #3
A nice story, but for some reason it didn't quite tickle me. I can't quite put my finger on it why.
HistoryDude has written some nice AAR's and stories (in this thread), and this one seems to be in a similar style. Ie lots of names and dialogues.
My guess: HistoryDude


Author #4
This is poetry that goes way over my head. Too classy for my poor head.
Peter writes poems that must be good. Usually I don't get them, as they have such deep-woven delicacies I simply miss the whole point. I believe this is one of those.
My guess: Peter Ebbesen


Author #5
This text screams "written by a British person". Fun use of words, though the story is a bit thin IMO.
Right, so. I think this one is written by a British person. Also a person who maybe isn't that experienced yet in writing, or who has taken a pause at writing and isn't yet back to full swing. That leaves out some of the usual british suspects... Hmmm... I like the AAR's of DensleyBlair, but I haven't read anything new from him lately. Has he been away, or have I just missed his entries? If he hasn't been around for a while, maybe he is now getting back to writing, and he isn't yet back to full speed?
My guess: DensleyBlair

 

[DensleyBlair]

Glad to see a lot of good commentary already.

I like the AAR's of DensleyBlair,

Thank you.

but I haven't read anything new from him lately. Has he been away, or have I just missed his entries?

Well… I haven’t written anything for GtA since 2017, but I’ve had an AAR ongoing since last July. I am also hosting GtA now, of course, so I leave it to you whether the bonus fifth entry is me deciding to have some fun along with the usual four authors.

If he hasn't been around for a while, maybe he is now getting back to writing, and he isn't yet back to full speed?

Always a possibility.

My guess: DensleyBlair

Excellent. Last time out I got a nod for each piece. Will we repeat the feat this time?

 

[Swuul]

I am also hosting GtA now, of course, so I leave it to you whether the bonus fifth entry is me deciding to have some fun along with the usual four authors.

Hey, I am admining a couple Blood Bowl leagues, but sadly I am not that great Blood Bowl player. Hosting the GtA is something you should be proud of, but that doesn't make you any better writer, right ? Then again, me having missed your latest AAR (care to give a link to it, as I still can't find it?) doesn't make very proud...

 

[DensleyBlair]

Hey, I am admining a couple Blood Bowl leagues, but sadly I am not that great Blood Bowl player. Hosting the GtA is something you should be proud of, but that doesn't make you any better writer, right?

Oh, I make no comment on ability. I bring up hosting only to say that as host I tend not to involve myself when there are so many others who want a chance to publish, and usually there’s a limit of 4 per round.

But as I say, there are five entries this time. I may well have snuck into the pack…

Then again, me having missed your latest AAR (care to give a link to it, as I still can't find it?) doesn't make very proud...

It’s in my signature (which admittedly I can’t see atm as I’m on my phone…) but otherwise you can find it here, seeing as you ask.

 

[Swuul]

It’s in my signature (which admittedly I can’t see atm as I’m on my phone…) but otherwise you can find it here, seeing as you ask.

Evil, pure evil. For didn't the ancient ones say: "It is evil to hide the answer in plain sigh, isn't it?" ?

 

[TheButterflyComposer]

Hosting the GtA is something you should be proud of, but that doesn't make you any better writer, right

Brilliant.

 

[DensleyBlair]

Evil, pure evil. For didn't the ancient ones say: "It is evil to hide the answer in plain sigh, isn't it?" ?

There’s a lot of that going on this round…

 

[Swuul]

(Throne of Heaven AAR URL if you too are interested in playing detective)

Oh man! After all these years I read through all of it. How ever did we (you!) get together so many good writers in one AAR?! It is sad we have lost all those "unmerged" members Some of them were among the best writers seen here on these forums!

The commentary thread also has some uforgetable quotes:

Throne of Heaven

This post details the latest rules, player list and information on the game. The AAR thread is Here. The latest save can be downloaded (1784 - v104) here. The Game generally plays every Sunday between 18:00 CET and 22:00. Next session...

forum.paradoxplaza.com

 

[Avernite]

Oh man! After all these years I read through all of it. How ever did we (you!) get together so many good writers in one AAR?! It is sad we have lost all those "unmerged" members Some of them were among the best writers seen here on these forums!

The commentary thread also has some uforgetable quotes:

Throne of Heaven - the Story thread

This is the story/AAR thread for the multi-player game The Throne of Heaven that will be kicking off in August. The game planning and discussion thread is in the multi-player forum here. There is still room for one or two authors to join...

forum.paradoxplaza.com

[/QUOTE]
That's the same thread Wyvern quoted?

 

[Swuul]

That's the same thread Wyvern quoted?

Edited.

 

[Avernite]

Edited.

Huh. Interesting. Apparently I subbed a few times in that game I was only remembering subbing ForzaA once.

 

[Avernite]

Author #4

Okay, this piece sure is different. Arawn and Annwn are the ruler and lands of the dead in Welsh mythos, if I got that right, which suggests a Briton. TBC, Wyvern, and stnylan all are such, at least, among our list of authors, but this is all mighty hypothetical. Far better maybe to look at the style. It is a VERY short piece, and so maybe Densley himself thought this was short enough for a fifth story?

I couldn't really follow the story; I guess it was somewhat generic 'wild hunt' fare, and of course last round I did bring in Herne who is associated with the same, so maybe someone was inspired? In any case poetry is always harder to follow for me, but specifically confusing was:
"Two short their victims to hide in convent. "
Is the two a misspelling of too? I dunno.

I also suspect, but this may be my own lack of pronunciation skills, that the rhythm of the poem stutters. Take the first bit:

"
Madmen and sinners, the walkers by night;
To this you must pay, your full attention!
Whence your vim essence, regretting nothing?
This truth is final: all else illusion.
"
I would tend to put stress on the bolded parts (the underlined being an alternate reading), which makes for a somewhat weird scheme; first is a dactylic line (stress-low-low), but it breaks at the end of line. Second line is dactylus-trochee (stress-low)-dactylus-trochee. Third seems dactylus-dactylus-trochee-trochee but could be back to snapped dactylic, final line dactylus-dactylus-trochee-trochee but could be dactylus-trochee-dactylus-trochee. My reading can't settle between the options, and so doesn't flow well. Mind, all the lines have by my count same amounts of stressed syllables, so it's not all bad, and the rhyming works. But the poetry won't flow for me.

A reworked version that'd work better for me, adopting 3x 3 dactylus+1 trochee, 1x DT-DT to close a 'verse'.

"
Madmen and sinners, the walkers by nighttime;
To this you must pay now, your full attention!
Whence your vim essence, regretting nothing?
This truth is final: all else illusion.
"
Single word and single syllable added, and suddenly it's 3 lines of flow that breaks at the end, rather than (to me) a stuttering verse. Mind the rhyme got changed by the one syllable, so it's not perfect on that first line... but that's why I didn't write it, only offered an alternate
(and yes, essence got counted as three syllables here and whence as one, but the third line has nice flow to me; poetry is no exact science I suppose).

Mind, if my orginal reading has the wrong stress it's very possible the flow was good to start with.