• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
It's much more efficient for all the fascists to be in one place. Hopefully they'll all take each other out before we have ti waste bullets on them. Then again, slovakia being involved might mean the suicide pact gets effed and we actually take Hitler and everyone else alive.

Where would we even begin with their trials?
 
That is a relief. They want to be thoroughly drunk by the time they are arrested by whichever power takes Berlin. If it’s the Soviets, they’d be better off joining Hitler in his Fuhrerdammerung. Because although they may be insignificant in the greater scheme of things, the Soviets just don’t miss details like that. Especially under Stalin. They have so much prior experience doing it to their own people. If it’s the Allies, they’d have an outside chance of slipping away, unrecognised. Or recognised and ignored until years later when a Nazi-hunter or documentary maker discovers and catches up with them.
The Soviets are still mucking about in the Baltics (despite having also reached Greece) so are still some way from Berlin. It would take an incredibly cockup for the Allies not to take Berlin, I mean the AI would have to have been coded by complete idiots... Oh. Oh dear.

One would ask, if there was the faintest chance of receiving any sensible answer. Given that chance is virtually zero, we’ll just chuckle and move on. :D
Entirely the correct response.
DYAEiOu.gif


Why are all these minor nations constantly ringing up Slovakia to tell them about random domestic occurrences? Did someone at some point get their wires crossed or did they all agree to kick the underdog of underdogs just to feel superior about something?
Stefan is so desperate for attention he volunteered to update the League of Nations Big Book of Pointless Events. All the League's pointless post is now diverted to his office instead of Geneva.

It's Twitter before Twitter
In fairness the ITU was one of the bodies of the League that did a good job.

Turka, the end must beclose for Finland too, see you in Berlin!!!
It could soon be quite crowded in the Deposed Minor Axis Power Bunker.

It's much more efficient for all the fascists to be in one place. Hopefully they'll all take each other out before we have ti waste bullets on them. Then again, slovakia being involved might mean the suicide pact gets effed and we actually take Hitler and everyone else alive.

Where would we even begin with their trials?
I suspect the more senior Nazis survive, the less people will be bothered about the small fry. Most of the Slovak regime weren't actually that bad by the standards of inter-war dictatorships (Tuka, Mach, Stefan T and a few others absolutely were that bad, Tiso was clearly guilty of many things but in a Pierre Laval like manner). Regardless any trial would definitely be one of the 'B list' additional trials after the main ones, a final subtle dig at the Tiso regime and it's delusions of independence.
 
But if they all survive the war they can write and publish their insane memoirs and make out that actually Slovakia was the best country in the axis and it was all Hitler's fault.
 
I do wonder if T&T are attempting to have "lockdown parties" too...
 
But if they all survive the war they can write and publish their insane memoirs and make out that actually Slovakia was the best country in the axis and it was all Hitler's fault.
Surely there are limits to even insane memoris. Being the best minor Axis power is still a stretch (OK you beat Italy, Romania, the Japanese puppets and probably Hungary. But better than Finland?) but best in the whole axis. When you have Tiso as Supreme Vodca?

I do wonder if T&T are attempting to have "lockdown parties" too...
Locked in a bunker with a lethal enemy outside and supplies running low. How would they tell the difference from a normal day in Berlin?

They haven't unlocked germ theory yet so no need
The ignorance defence, a plan that has never worked. It would be the T&T solution. :)


And on that note, let us return to Berlin!
 
19th March 1945
19th March 1945

Tiso hoped that being a Supreme Vodca in exile would free him from the drudgery of actually trying to run a country. Despite this he had still organised a cabinet meeting for Monday morning, though more to fill in the time between drinks than anything else.

"Anything on the domestic agenda Fritz?" He asked.

"We no longer have a country to run." Fritz said.

"That would be a no." Tiso summarised. "Military news?"

"Sadly only General Lendvay's Border Guards made it to Berlin and they are still recovering from the experience." General Kubela said.

"We have lost both of our regular divisions?" A shocked Tuka asked.

Kubela nodded sadly.

"Do we have news of the wider war?" Tiso asked.

"The War in the West is over." General Malar announced dramatically.

"But the Allies were in Western Germany, how can they have been thrown back in the sea?" Tiso asked.

"Unless it has ended the other way." Tuka suggested.

Tiso looked around, Nazi Germany still looked un-annexed.

"What is the meaning of this Malar?" He asked.

Malar handed over the telegram.

LtUDlv8.jpg

Ecuador has been defeated and Peru now has control over the Maranon River Basin. And the rest of Ecuador The German General Staff do not believe that the redeployment of the vast US air fleet that had been ineptly bombing Peru will make any difference to the war in Europe. Because German is so comprehensively doomed that things cannot practically get any worse.

As Tuka screamed at the General Staff, Tiso found solace in the fact that some things had not changed.

"What about the war in Western Europe, how is that going?" He asked.

"Badly." Kubela admitted.

1jdcaZA.jpg

The Fulda Gap has been closed, leaving the XXXXIV "Germans Dressed As Hungarians" Army Corps pocketed and awaiting destruction. Further west the plan to defend Festung Frankfurt by not garrisoning it (to fool the Allies into thinking it wasn't important) has not worked out as hoped, with a British armoured division is poised to capture it without firing a shot.

"Any other news?" Tiso thought he could see the end of the meeting racing into view.

"I bring terrible news." Baron Von Killinger said.

The assembled room fell silent and stared at the visibly emotional Baron.

"Army Detachment Steiner is not coming to rescue Berlin." Von Killinger said. "He is dying heroically for the Führer in the Baltic instead."

AWUHC0x.jpg

III. SS Panzerkorps under the leadership of General Steiner defending Tallinn while waiting for an evacuation which will never come. Steiner's corps contains neither Panzers nor SS divisions but does contain a surprisingly large amount of Luftwaffe Militia. Despite being militia the 20th was officially a 'Storm Division', an honorific distinction that is unlikely to make any significant difference to the attacking Soviets.

Tiso raised his hipflask in toast to the so-to-be fallen Steiner.

--
Notes:
Despite the best efforts of the combined Allied AIs not to beat Ecuador they have finally succeeded. The government in Ecuador have the good sense not to join the increasingly crowded Deposed Minor Axis Power Bunker and so the war in South America is over.

Steiner and his Luftwaffe Storm Militia at least go down fighting, unlike most of the German forces in the West who can no longer reinforce due to lack of manpower.

Edited: To correct a frankly piddling Ecuador/Peru confusion. Yet some people carped on about it so it had to be fixed.
 
Last edited:
  • 2Like
Reactions:

LtUDlv8.jpg

Peru has been defeated and Ecuador now has control over the Maranon River Basin. And the rest of Peru.


Despite the best efforts of the combined Allied AIs not to beat Peru they have finally succeeded. The government in Ecuador have the good sense not to join the increasingly crowded Deposed Minor Axis Power Bunker and so the war in South America is over.​

Steiner and his Luftwaffe Storm Militia at least go down fighting, unlike most of the German forces in the West who can no longer reinforce due to lack of manpower.

It's been a minute since I last was tracking this, but which South American nation did what? I'm getting conflicting messages here...
 
LtUDlv8.jpg

Peru has been defeated and Ecuador now has control over the Maranon River Basin. And the rest of Peru. The German General Staff do not believe that the redeployment of the vast US air fleet that had been ineptly bombing Peru will make any difference to the war in Europe. Because German is so comprehensively doomed that things cannot practically get any worse.
One suspects that perhaps the writing of this AAR has been taken over by a Slovakian government functionary with little to do, and even less brain capacity to do it with. Which is it, then, has Peru been defeated or has Ecuador surrendered? Or is this all a grandiose and hopefully not social-realist meta-commentary on the futility of war? :p
 
"Army Detachment Steiner is not coming to rescue Berlin." Von Killinger said. "He is dying heroically for the Führer in the Baltic instead."

Das war ein Befehl!!!!!!!
 
It's been a minute since I last was tracking this, but which South American nation did what? I'm getting conflicting messages here...
One suspects that perhaps the writing of this AAR has been taken over by a Slovakian government functionary with little to do, and even less brain capacity to do it with. Which is it, then, has Peru been defeated or has Ecuador surrendered? Or is this all a grandiose and hopefully not social-realist meta-commentary on the futility of war? :p
This is what happens if I try to write at faster than real time; mistakes creep in and have to be spotted by observant readers. I will learn from this and never try to risk such break neck speed again.
DYAEiOu.gif


Ecuador took on the whole world for no apparent reason and almost held out until the end. Gotta give credit to those crazy bastards.
Shine on you crazy diamonds.

With Steiner out of the picture we now must find Fegelein.
Fegelein has been found. He is an unused general sitting in the reserve pool, as Germany has a lot more Generals than Divisions at this point. This is probably a big part of why Germany is losing the war.
Das war ein Befehl!!!!!!!
I am delighted Steiner's Cameo was appreciated in the correct manner.

But now as delighted as I am by your new signature, which marks you out as a gentleman of taste and sophistication.
Z3wSg01.gif
 
  • 1
Reactions:
Fegelein has been found. He is an unused general sitting in the reserve pool, as Germany has a lot more Generals than Divisions at this point. This is probably a big part of why Germany is losing the war.

I mean, I think that's a symptom more than a cause.

That said, Fegelein is known for his hijinks.

But now as delighted as I am by your new signature, which marks you out as a gentleman of taste and sophistication.
Z3wSg01.gif

Given that I've been an avid follower for almost a decade, and an active evangelist for almost half that, it seemed only appropriate.
 
Surely there are limits to even insane memoris. Being the best minor Axis power is still a stretch (OK you beat Italy, Romania, the Japanese puppets and probably Hungary. But better than Finland?) but best in the whole axis. When you have Tiso as Supreme Vodca?

They've already got a case for best minor axis power (because all the other countries will never admit to being minor powers or former nazi allies) and for best in the whole axis, they won't just have the alt-right on their side but also r-word 'historians'.

Besides, it wasn't whether the rest of the world would believe them, it was 'I bet some in-universe slovakians will try this' when they write their memoirs, hopefully because they aim to make money off the controversy but sadly more likely that they really believe it.

This is what happens if I try to write at faster than real time; mistakes creep in and have to be spotted by observant readers. I will learn from this and never try to risk such break neck speed again.
DYAEiOu.gif

Just do what I do, promise you're finally starting writing updates again and then become violently ill. Only release the inane prattle of a med-addled mind. Be lauded for 'comedic' brilliance. Rinse and repeat. It's worked amazingly well for the past three years.
 
Despite the best efforts of the combined Allied AIs not to beat Ecuador they have finally succeeded.
Edited: To correct a frankly piddling Ecuador/Peru confusion. Yet some people carped on about it so it had to be fixed.
I suspect it was a deliberate error: just put in for long enough to get us talking about an event in a country which, in game terms, is even more irrelevant than Slovakia! And no doubt run by zombies and dead statesmen with misspelt names anyway. :D And they lasted slightly longer than Slovakia too before beginning their exile. Will they be having bunker parties with T&T soon?
 
I believe he was quite clear that space for Ecuadorian officials is not needed as they bowed, or otherwise bent their bodies in a supplicant manner, towards their continental partners, the Peruvians.
 
First off I have some minor Good News - All the PhotoBucket images in this AAR have been replaced (I think) and now those who wish to re-read this masterpiece can do so with working pictures.


I mean, I think that's a symptom more than a cause.

That said, Fegelein is known for his hijinks.
He is indeed, so I suppose it is appropriate he wasn't given a division so he is free to hang around the FuhrerBunker and carry our more hijinks.

Given that I've been an avid follower for almost a decade, and an active evangelist for almost half that, it seemed only appropriate.
It is still appreciated. :)

They've already got a case for best minor axis power (because all the other countries will never admit to being minor powers or former nazi allies) and for best in the whole axis, they won't just have the alt-right on their side but also r-word 'historians'.
Revisionists - *Spit*.

Just do what I do, promise you're finally starting writing updates again and then become violently ill. Only release the inane prattle of a med-addled mind. Be lauded for 'comedic' brilliance. Rinse and repeat. It's worked amazingly well for the past three years.
Seems a tad extreme and alarmingly close to hard work. Besides I am already lauded for comedic brilliance - 2019 Comedy AAR of the Year - so I shall stick to my current methods.
Z3wSg01.gif


I suspect it was a deliberate error: just put in for long enough to get us talking about an event in a country which, in game terms, is even more irrelevant than Slovakia! And no doubt run by zombies and dead statesmen with misspelt names anyway. :D And they lasted slightly longer than Slovakia too before beginning their exile. Will they be having bunker parties with T&T soon?
The unique flaws of the Ecuadorian government have been discussed as you no doubt knew - Ecuador!

I believe he was quite clear that space for Ecuadorian officials is not needed as they bowed, or otherwise bent their bodies in a supplicant manner, towards their continental partners, the Peruvians.
I thought I had been clear on it as well, no government-in-exile for Ecuador as they have decided better prisoners in Peru than trapped in the unwanted guest annex of the Fuhrer Bunker (a wise move in my view).