10th March 1945
It was a Saturday and Tiso and Tuka would have preferred to take the day off. But sadly the realities of Total War and the Race to Bratislava forced them to work the weekend, so they are gathered in the Command Shed for the daily briefing.
"What does the news look like?" Tiso asked.
"News can be printed on paper, projected onto a screen or passed on verbally. But it's more of a metaphysical social construct than something you can actually see..." General Kubela started to answer.
While Tuka cursed the army's literal interpretation of everything, Tiso wondered if asking the Army to liaise more closely with the intelligence agencies had actually been a good idea.
"Fritz, what news do you have?" He dragged the group back to somewhere near the point.
"Bad, bad, very bad and ominously bad." Fritz summarised his list.
"Start with the last one." Tiso instructed.
Fritz passed over the note.
A spy from a Former Low Country
Came here disugised as a Marquis
He ate chips like a madman
So we knew he was a Flanoonistan
Demonstrating that intransigent reality is a harsh mistress and no respecter of intent or epistemological justification, yielding only to the most refined ontologies.
Janko Jesenky reporting the latest news from the world of critically socially realistic poetic spy catching. Maybe. It does at least look like he is attempting to do that. Probably.
"We've caught a spy, how is that bad news?" Tuka asked.
"Or ominous?" Sub-Junior-Interim Foreign Minister Durcansky chimed in.
"Everything involving The Former Low Country of Flanoonistan is ominous." Tiso nodded sagely. That's sagely as in he resembled the herb.
"In this case we suspect they are attempting to reclaim their ancient patrimony." Fritz said.
"Of course, Trnava and it's Latin Guests." Pruzinksy took a pull on his pipe while nodding.
Tuka looked baffled, so Fritz continued.
"In the High Middle Ages many 'Latin Guests' came from what is now The Former Low Country of Flanoonistan to Trnava, they transformed it into a great merchant city sitting astride key trade routes." Fritz explained.
"And now they are attempting to using their spies to weaken our resolve and under-mine the defences so the British can just walk in and reclaim it for them!" Tuka shouted.
"They will not succeed." General Kubela said confidently.
"How can you be sure?" Tiso asked.
"Firstly, because we haven't got any defences." General Malar said.
"And secondly because the British have already captured the city." Kubela concluded.
Brezno is a town entirely without interesting feature. If the Soviets ever notice they conqueored it they would be disappointed. Trnava is quite another matter; the Slovak Rome, lynchpin of the Counter-Reformation, wellspring of Slovak Nationalism and the second most industrialised city in Slovakia. It will be missed, but probably not for long.
"That was the two bits of bad news?" Tiso asked.
Fritz nodded.
"So what is the very bad news?"
"The 1st (Defrosted) Division have taken horrific casualties and have been forced to retreat." Fritz said.
"Do you have a report from Turanec?" Tukas asked.
"Yes, he confirms we still don't have a navy." Kubela said.
"Or a coastline." Malar added helpfully.
"In his role as defender of Bratislava, not as part-time naval minister!" Tuka screamed.
"You should have been more specifc." Malar said reproachfully.
"He has handed over command to Jurech while he organises the 1st Division." Kubela said.
General Jurech and the 2nd (First and Only Heroes of Paris) Division are now all that stand between Bratislava and the advancing Allies.
"There are only two things we can do now." Tiso said.
"Waiting is the first, but what is the second?" Frirtz asked.
Tiso demonstrated his answer by reaching for his hipflask.
--
Notes:
The end inches still closer.
I may be being unfair on Brezno, but the only thing of note that appears to have ever occurred there is a medium sized crane company opening up there and then shutting down. If there is a deep and thrilling history and cultural life to Brezno, be sure and let me know.