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This sounds plausible. Anyone the NKVD can send the bill to for the single 9mm Tokarev round each that would need to be spent on them?
Bullet charging was a Chinese Ministry of State Security cruelty. This is because Maoism is a mistaken deviation from proper Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist thought and is trapped within a dogmatic bourgeois nationalism, unable to shake off the hegemonic capitalist mindset.

Probably.

More importantly, is there anyone in Slovakia who can afford such an absurd expense.
If there is any cause that would rally the Slovak people into frenzied fundraising, it would be this.

Surely since they call themselves the father of the nation, the bill could be collectively paid for?
Collectivism is the communist way.
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9th March 1945
9th March 1945

It was Friday and Tiso and Tuka were facing one of the most sustained barrages they had yet been asked to endure; it was yet another cabinet meeting. And the Battle for Bratislava continued to rage, but for many in the Slovak government that was the letter threat.

Minister for Justice Fritz settled into his role of unofficial cabinet secretary and distributed the minutes.

"How would you categorise the news today?" Tiso asked his only sensible(ish) minister.

"Bad, very bad and technically good." Fritz replied.

A shiver went down Tiso's spine.

"What do you mean technically good?" Tuka asked.

"It is good news." Fritz said reassuringly.

"But?" Tuka probed further.

"It is mostly pointless." Fritz admitted, passing over the message.

pLl0hmi.jpg

A foolish spy from El Salvador,
disguised himself as a stevedore
Our lack of a docks
put him in the stocks
And are clearly indicative of deep epistomological issues within the region that, if unchecked, could lead to the emergence of flawed ontological lenses or worse, magical realism.

Janko Jesensky using his latest counter-espionage triumph to sound a note of warning about the horrors that lurk in post-war Central America. Perhaps. Sort of. Maybe?.​

Tiso nodded in relief, this was indeed utterly irrelevant but technically good news.

"And the bad news?" Tuka pushed on.

"The British have captured Nitra."


2cJ8jF1.jpg

Nitra has fallen! Arguably the spiritual fatherland of the Slovak independence movement it also home to the annual Pribina's Celebrations, an event far too dull to describe in mere words.

"That is bad news indeed, but at least they are not attacking the mighty forest fortress of Banska Bystrica." Tuka said.

"No, but that's probably because they are leaving it to the Soviets." Fritz said.

"You don't mean?" Tiso said.

"Yes, that is the very bad news. The Soviets have captured more territory."

vlJCbw4.jpg

Veľký Krtíš! A town that expended all it's efforts on additional accents and marks above it's name, leaving nothing left over for anything of actual interest. It is considered dull even by the standards of Eastern Slovakia.

"Excellent news." Pruzinksy beamed.

Tuka looked like he was attempting to raise an eyebrow, to head off that horror Pruzinksy continued.

"Veľký Krtíš has been a terrible drain on our supplies of accents, carons and miscellaneous weird acute bits. With it gone productivity in the printing industry will increase massively." He said.

"I didn't know we even had printing presses." Tuka confessed.

"I will have you know we have several examples of the finest Han Dynasty woodblock printing devices." Pruzinksy drew himself up haughtily.

At this point Tiso decided the cabinet meeting was effectively over and he had somehow made it to the weekend. There was only one possible way to celebrate that;

/glug-glug-glug/

--
Notes:
More territory lost, but you could have guessed that.

The earliest evidence of Han woodblock printing dates to the 2nd Century AD and likely it was in use before that point. I had considered giving Pruzinsky a Gutenberg press, but that seemed a bit too modern.
 
Good that the Soviets take some useless provinces instead of the Capital. Next week it will be the fall of the mighty fortress of Banska, where the defenders have bravely run away.
 
Janko Jesensky using his latest counter-espionage triumph to sound a note of warning about the horrors that lurk in post-war Central America.
The horrors that lurk in current Slovakia are far worse (ie the Cabinet). And worst of all are those that emerge from Jesensky’s pen!

It is considered dull even by the standards of Eastern Slovakia.
Oh dear, that is a truly damning and disturbing observation.

I also notice the attack progress in Bratislava is up to 59% - it will soon be in the ‘red zone’. Will be interested to see what T&T end up doing when the hammer falls. I suspect they will be found by the British in the Command Shack, in a drunken stupor and surrounded by empty hip flasks as the last reserves of ‘Slovakian courage’ are drained.
 
The news from Slovakia
Causes Tiso and Tuka apoplexia
With their territory diminishing
Their reign is closing on finishing
And thus it is critically important that we soon return to King Haakon and the Fjords!
 
Good that the Soviets take some useless provinces instead of the Capital. Next week it will be the fall of the mighty fortress of Banska, where the defenders have bravely run away.
Many would say the capital was also a useless province, but they are probably being a bit harsh. Probably.

The horrors that lurk in current Slovakia are far worse (ie the Cabinet). And worst of all are those that emerge from Jesensky’s pen!
Jesenky has many faults but he has never engaged in the depraved depths of South American Magical Realism. He has standards.

I also notice the attack progress in Bratislava is up to 59% - it will soon be in the ‘red zone’. Will be interested to see what T&T end up doing when the hammer falls. I suspect they will be found by the British in the Command Shack, in a drunken stupor and surrounded by empty hip flasks as the last reserves of ‘Slovakian courage’ are drained.
You under-estimate Tiso's constitution, years of running Slovakia have left him with a titanic ability to take his drink.

The news from Slovakia
Causes Tiso and Tuka apoplexia
With their territory diminishing
Their reign is closing on finishing
And thus it is critically important that we soon return to King Haakon and the Fjords!
Jesensky would be proud (as would King Haakon obviously ;) )

Hungary taking all that Slovakian land was good because it means Slovakia loses less land to the Allies now.
There is always a silver lining if you look hard enough.
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10th March 1945
10th March 1945

It was a Saturday and Tiso and Tuka would have preferred to take the day off. But sadly the realities of Total War and the Race to Bratislava forced them to work the weekend, so they are gathered in the Command Shed for the daily briefing.

"What does the news look like?" Tiso asked.

"News can be printed on paper, projected onto a screen or passed on verbally. But it's more of a metaphysical social construct than something you can actually see..." General Kubela started to answer.

While Tuka cursed the army's literal interpretation of everything, Tiso wondered if asking the Army to liaise more closely with the intelligence agencies had actually been a good idea.

"Fritz, what news do you have?" He dragged the group back to somewhere near the point.

"Bad, bad, very bad and ominously bad." Fritz summarised his list.

"Start with the last one." Tiso instructed.

Fritz passed over the note.

YrYKtpA.jpg

A spy from a Former Low Country
Came here disugised as a Marquis
He ate chips like a madman
So we knew he was a Flanoonistan
Demonstrating that intransigent reality is a harsh mistress and no respecter of intent or epistemological justification, yielding only to the most refined ontologies.


Janko Jesenky reporting the latest news from the world of critically socially realistic poetic spy catching. Maybe. It does at least look like he is attempting to do that. Probably.

"We've caught a spy, how is that bad news?" Tuka asked.

"Or ominous?" Sub-Junior-Interim Foreign Minister Durcansky chimed in.

"Everything involving The Former Low Country of Flanoonistan is ominous." Tiso nodded sagely. That's sagely as in he resembled the herb.

"In this case we suspect they are attempting to reclaim their ancient patrimony." Fritz said.

"Of course, Trnava and it's Latin Guests." Pruzinksy took a pull on his pipe while nodding.

Tuka looked baffled, so Fritz continued.

"In the High Middle Ages many 'Latin Guests' came from what is now The Former Low Country of Flanoonistan to Trnava, they transformed it into a great merchant city sitting astride key trade routes." Fritz explained.

"And now they are attempting to using their spies to weaken our resolve and under-mine the defences so the British can just walk in and reclaim it for them!" Tuka shouted.

"They will not succeed." General Kubela said confidently.

"How can you be sure?" Tiso asked.

"Firstly, because we haven't got any defences." General Malar said.

"And secondly because the British have already captured the city." Kubela concluded.

2PQOXkK.jpg

Brezno is a town entirely without interesting feature. If the Soviets ever notice they conqueored it they would be disappointed. Trnava is quite another matter; the Slovak Rome, lynchpin of the Counter-Reformation, wellspring of Slovak Nationalism and the second most industrialised city in Slovakia. It will be missed, but probably not for long.

"That was the two bits of bad news?" Tiso asked.

Fritz nodded.

"So what is the very bad news?"

"The 1st (Defrosted) Division have taken horrific casualties and have been forced to retreat." Fritz said.

"Do you have a report from Turanec?" Tukas asked.

"Yes, he confirms we still don't have a navy." Kubela said.

"Or a coastline." Malar added helpfully.

"In his role as defender of Bratislava, not as part-time naval minister!" Tuka screamed.

"You should have been more specifc." Malar said reproachfully.

"He has handed over command to Jurech while he organises the 1st Division." Kubela said.

vuwCcrz.jpg

General Jurech and the 2nd (First and Only Heroes of Paris) Division are now all that stand between Bratislava and the advancing Allies.

"There are only two things we can do now." Tiso said.

"Waiting is the first, but what is the second?" Frirtz asked.

Tiso demonstrated his answer by reaching for his hipflask.

--
Notes:
The end inches still closer.

I may be being unfair on Brezno, but the only thing of note that appears to have ever occurred there is a medium sized crane company opening up there and then shutting down. If there is a deep and thrilling history and cultural life to Brezno, be sure and let me know.
 
"News can be printed on paper, projected onto a screen or passed on verbally. But it's more of a metaphysical social construct than something you can actually see..." General Kubela started to answer.
Kubela needs to be bound, gagged (especially) taken to the front line with the Soviets and handed over. They will know what to do with him. It won’t take long and Slovakia can save itself one 9mm round.
Janko Jesenky reporting the latest news from the world of critically socially realistic poetic spy catching.
Him too!
General Jurech and the 2nd (First and Only Heroes of Paris) Division are now all that stand between Bratislava and the advancing Allies.
It is now a paper-thin line. Which Slovakia must have the tech for, given all the silly messages that are received in the Command Shed. Not to mention Jesenky’s egregious outpourings.
Tiso demonstrated his answer by reaching for his hipflask.
The only sensibly insensible choice under the circumstances.
The end inches still closer.
At snail’s pace, but it does. Momentous! Well, momentous for the denizens of the Command Shed, if no one else. Who will try to flee and who will stay to face the music? Whilst blind drunk? [1]

[1] A deliberately rhetorical question.
 
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To be fair, the most obstinate defenses by small groups always seem to get the outsized stories of "brilliance" and "vigor" from history.
 
Can't be long now, whats the worst that could happen!!!
Realistically it can't be worse than OTL, so this isn't quite as fate tempting as it sems.

Kubela needs to be bound, gagged (especially) taken to the front line with the Soviets and handed over. They will know what to do with him. It won’t take long and Slovakia can save itself one 9mm round.
Him too!
Your enthusiasm for Soviet justice is clear comrade, but should a mere citizen dare to prejudge the judgment of the NKVD?

In your keenness for revolutionary justice I am reminded of Robespierre and Danton. As Yagoda and Yezhoz would confirm if they could; La révolution dévore ses enfants. ;)

At snail’s pace, but it does. Momentous! Well, momentous for the denizens of the Command Shed, if no one else.
Momentous for the readers surely?
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Only appropriate that the Heroes of Paris are the last ones standing. Unfortunately no one will remember this defense...
We will, at least! :D
To be fair, the most obstinate defenses by small groups always seem to get the outsized stories of "brilliance" and "vigor" from history.
It will be a heroic last stand on a par with the Battle of Shiroyama. Similar numerical and technical disparity as well.

In the Turkish wars, Brezno was succesfully defended by the legendary knight Bombura. He's got a modern statue on the town square, looking like a Dark Souls silver knight sitting. Unfortunately the Slovak army is legendary in the same meaning he is, that is, mostly nonexistant. :D
Top research!

I award you the Lead Hip-flask (4th Class) for services to Tiso, Tuka and the Slovak Tourist Board. Docked a few grades for being too honest towards the end, which is never rewarded in a dictatorship, but solid work nevertheless.
Z3wSg01.gif
 
At least there is the warm glow of communism?
 
Momentous for the readers surely?
DYAEiOu.gif

Of course it's momentous, an El Pip AAR reaching a conclusion? Tickertape parades and Days of Thanksgiving shall be proclaimed throughout the land! But stop calling me Shirley.


It will be a heroic last stand on a par with the Battle of Shiroyama. Similar numerical and technical disparity as well.

But without the warships bombarding the lines of well trained samurai... And you know, well trained swordsmen.
 
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At least there is the warm glow of communism?
The nuclear afterglow? else it would be the cold wind from Siberia or the Gulag sea.
The warm glow of the entirely safe, and in no way dangerous, nuclear fuel rods the KGB agent is making you carry by hand away from the site of The Incident.

But without the warships bombarding the lines of well trained samurai... And you know, well trained swordsmen.
Being less well trained and disciplined than a Samurai is not particularly shameful for a conscript WW2 army on any side. But it is unfortunate that Slovakia is out tech-ed by the Samurai, lacking as it does any technology for steel.

Of course it's momentous, an El Pip AAR reaching a conclusion? Tickertape parades and Days of Thanksgiving shall be proclaimed throughout the land! But stop calling me Shirley.
The world is literally ending.
In my defence I've only finished one other AAR and that was Furious Vengeance. That was in January 2009 and in that month;
* Slovakia adopts the Euro
* The Icelandic economy and banking system collapsed
* The Patriarch of Alexandria Died
* Barack Obama sworn in as President with a ceremonial drone strike

It's a bit of a mixed bag I'll admit, but nothing globally catastrophic. There was no reason to suspect a complete disaster would result from finishing my second AAR.
 
What will happen if the AAR ends this year?

  • The USA will elect a President that is over 70.
  • More babies will be born in 9 months
  • More divorces in the next few months