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An excellent recovery from the horror of speechlessness. The Bolivian motley band may not have achieved much, but I think they are an interesting bunch in their own way. I think there is great potential for a very character driven story set in inter-war Latin America, I'm thinking something Art Deco Noir style about a well-connected private pilot caught up in the Chaco Wars and the constant coups. One of the escaped Jews rescued by Hochschild discovering his "saviour" is also an unscrupulous sociopath, with someone in the government playing on that to get him to betray Hochschild. Definite potential there for someone better at narrative and character.

Mm...maybe @Bullfilter can make use of this thread for AAR prompts in his seemingly endless supply of enthusiasm and time for writing. Would very much like to see how we can come up with a reason for why every single country in South America is ran by a group of dead people and artists of various backgrounds. It sounds like a cross between Dan Brown and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

For my sins I sort of want to read it, but alas it is only in Spanish.

Could translate but suspect the book is quite long... Wikiepdia currently links two books, both in English. Had a look in my private library collection and found a few references, mostly from how much his death screwed up the legal system in Bolivia for decades. University library had a few more things about economics and trading in South America, which was rife with the kind of monopoly men Roosevelt took pleasure in hunting down in the USA. Unlike the US however, South America never really got around to bothering to try to fight monopolies until fairly recently, so aside from all the other issues, one guy dying could eff up an entire industry.

I think your guess of trolling is the most correct. Who in their right mind would ever play as Bolivia in 1944, so why not hide some random stuff in there for a laugh with your fellow researchers? As we know that Paradox combined researchers and Beta testers into one job it is the perfect crime - the only people who might notice are your mates who are doing the same thing to other small countries the world over.

If they ever decided to do a 1944 start for HOI4, we must endeavour to jump on that ship as quickly as possible. I wonder how rigours time has made them? Could someone make something so ridiculous that they'd patch it out day one or shortly thereafter, but still not notice before release? Like for example, a cabinet filled entirely with hideously creepy mascots from British Children's Television, like Mr Blobby and Noseybonk?

Or maybe they never notice because we stuck it in Bolivia, and then future-person-who-occupies-godless-position-of-El Pip is frickin' terrified when they go to check it out?

I agree I will miss zombie tank archbishop most of all.

Another one for the AAR Quotebook there, I think. Along with the Dragon Tyrant Cannibal Mr Wiggles and 'That's too many hospitals, you horse-loving freak.'
 
Or have a "placeholder" Empty Suit for those where one couldn't find a broadly similar cabinet posting for the various micro states... no benefit to having them but able to maintain some level of historical nod that "Bolivia didn't have a navy department since it lost its coast line..." or something similar...
The mechanism is there as Paradox did add the "undistinguished_suit" minister trait. Perfect for non-jobs and such like. Of course this being Paradox this feature was only used for an obscure Belgian Trotskyist Georges Vereecken who gets the trait when he serves as Chief of Navy or Chief of Air Force. Like Peru, Leninist/Trotskyist Belgium has the option to enjoy Vereecken in all four military jobs, sadly when he is Chief of Staff and/or Chief of Army he gets actual traits.

Do I need to say Vereecken had zero military experience at any point? I think we all had already guessed that. For Vereecken himself his main contribution to Marxist debate was being denounced by Trotsky for being the wrong sort of Trotskyist. In fairness he invented the term so should probably know, but then sectarian splits have been declared for less.

University library had a few more things about economics and trading in South America, which was rife with the kind of monopoly men Roosevelt took pleasure in hunting down in the USA. Unlike the US however, South America never really got around to bothering to try to fight monopolies until fairly recently, so aside from all the other issues, one guy dying could eff up an entire industry.
South America's complete lack of stability meant no-one would touch it unless they could make monopoly profits, particularly around mining where you could easily spend years getting a mine intro production and building the railroad to link it to the port, only to discover that due to the coup your company had been seized by the new El Presidente.

The simple solution was "stop having all the coups", but I imagine most of the governments were trying to do that anyway (if only to keep themselves in power) so it probably wasn't that straightforward.

If they ever decided to do a 1944 start for HOI4, we must endeavour to jump on that ship as quickly as possible. I wonder how rigours time has made them? Could someone make something so ridiculous that they'd patch it out day one or shortly thereafter, but still not notice before release? Like for example, a cabinet filled entirely with hideously creepy mascots from British Children's Television, like Mr Blobby and Noseybonk?

Or maybe they never notice because we stuck it in Bolivia, and then future-person-who-occupies-godless-position-of-El Pip is frickin' terrified when they go to check it out?
These are the people who declared Communist Luxembourg should be called "Rosa Luxembourg" and came up with the whole stupid animal empire name debacle. (Hedgehog Empire for Fascist Pakistan might be my favourite). Then the most recent DLC added the choice for Trotsky to lead a revolution in Mexico and becoming dictator for life, which... yeah.

Paradox long since stopped giving a stuff about this sort of thing, anything goes as long as it doesn't require any work from them and might help sell a DLC.

Another one for the AAR Quotebook there, I think. Along with the Dragon Tyrant Cannibal Mr Wiggles and 'That's too many hospitals, you horse-loving freak.'
Need to get a quote list thread put up in the AARland General Discussion area.

No Ecuador? I want to know about these rascals making a (useless) heroic stand for our cause
Ecuador and it's own useless government was covered in the 20th July update. I will forgive you for forgetting, because that was posted back in June 2014. Time flies when you are updating at a majestic pace.
IndeedSir.gif


:D We all have our own methods and idiosyncrasies. Strength in Diversity and all that!
There speaks a man who has never done work with concrete or steel. Catastrophic Weakness in Diversity because of uneven stress concentration and strain compatibility issues. What you want is Strength in Diverse Ingredients being Properly Mixed Up.
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There speaks a man who has never done work with concrete or steel. Catastrophic Weakness in Diversity because of uneven stress concentration and strain compatibility issues. What you want is Strength in Diverse Ingredients being Properly Mixed Up.
ja_zps42369c2d.gif

Kewl your an Stress Analyst :) I should have guess from the rather drawn out posting pattern! ;)
 
Need to get a quote list thread put up in the AARland General Discussion area.

Good idea. That Animal Kingdom setup for CKII is a goldmine for this sort of thing. Mr Wiggles the Cannibal Dragon king of the hedgehog empire etc.
 
Ecuador and it's own useless government was covered in the 20th July update. I will forgive you for forgetting, because that was posted back in June 2014. Time flies when you are updating at a majestic pace.
IndeedSir.gif

So Ecuador has an advantage because they don't have any dead men in the cabinet...but on the other hand they have a president who wasn't actually president.
 
So Ecuador has an advantage because they don't have any dead men in the cabinet...but on the other hand they have a president who wasn't actually president.

No dead men in cabinet at all must somehow be a disadvantage sonewhere, right....?
 
Kewl your an Stress Analyst :) I should have guess from the rather drawn out posting pattern! ;)
I'm a proper engineer, though I have done stress analysis in my time. That said I do proper heavy civil infrastructure, the kind where people say "You want it in service within 5 years? That's a very tight deadline, are you sure it's possible?" This attitude matches very well with my update schedule.
DYAEiOu.gifv


Good idea. That Animal Kingdom setup for CKII is a goldmine for this sort of thing. Mr Wiggles the Cannibal Dragon king of the hedgehog empire etc.
This sort of thing is not selling me on CKII I must admit.

So Ecuador has an advantage because they don't have any dead men in the cabinet...but on the other hand they have a president who wasn't actually president.
Plus the minor issue with being at war with almost the entire Allies while not being allowed into the Axis. Overall it's really not good down in Ecuador way.

No dead men in cabinet at all must somehow be a disadvantage sonewhere, right....?
While Ecuador avoided dead men in the cabinet, to achieve this they had to appoint the same massively corrupt, scheming, master psychologist into several vital roles, none of which he is any good at. A dead man may do nothing at all in cabinet, but at least he isn't doing really bad things (apart from decomposing, obviously).


I threatened a Swedish cabinet incompetence update, so I suppose I had better do that. To Stockholm!
 
This sort of thing is not selling me on CKII I must admit.

It has scope at least. This reminds me of the remarkably depressed and stressed genius engineer I had im my city of london game. He was doing great work building my magnificent palace wonder and then found true love and married the duchess of kent, my sister. Unfortunatly, she turned into a bear and ate him. And the king of scotland, who was in Canterbury on pilgramige.

Funny game. That ruler ended up being declared a saint with lightning powers because he liberated the north of england from the indian viking menace.

So yeah, at This point ckii with everything turned on is a bit like terry pratchet and a bit rejected dr who episodes.

Ckii with some stuff turned on is quite a good medieval game.

Its a bit of a marmite title, yeah.
 
29th December 1944 - Sweden
29th December 1944 - Sweden

Abandoning Latin America we return to Europe, but alas fail to stop at the Danube and overshoot Slovakia badly. Instead we come to Northern Europe where a group of evil sociopaths are carrying out a shocking scheme of unparalleled evil and malevolence, but enough about the founders of Ikea we are here to meet King Gustav V. Like us, Prime Minster Hansson is attempting to meet the Monarch in question.

"Where is his majesty?" Hansson asked the butler in the Stockholm Royal Palace

"Hiding in the throne room, cowering under the throne." The butler replied. "He won't let anyone in."

Hansson strode to the throne room and knocked on the door.

"I demand entry to bring news from your government." He shouted.

"I'm busy." Gustav's voice replied. "And it would be an unacceptable breach of neutrality for you to force entry!"

Hansson sighed and repeated his demand for entry, but in a German accent.

The door flew open and a grovelling Gustav appeared. "Come in at once, please take anything you want. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Works every time." Hansson muttered to himself.

"Ohh, it's you." Gustav had stopped grovelling enough to notice it was his Prime Minister and not an actual German answering.

"Indeed your majesty, now if we can get on with the briefing about your government." Hansson sat down and pulled out a slim file.

eRsv4Rn.jpg

The Swedish Government. They just look guilty don't they?
"We have decided the armed services need experienced leadership at this critical time so have made some changes to our senior commanders." Hansson dispensed with small talk.

"Have you finally replaced the Chief of Staff?" Gustav asked.

"No, Carl Gustav Ehrensvärd remains in that role." Hansson said.

"Despite the problems?"

"What problem?" Hansson countered.

"Well the non-existence issue."

"Your majesty, please stop listening to that Carl August Ehrensvärd fraudster. Our Chief of Staff is very real and engaged in an ongoing camouflage demonstration."

"No-one's ever seen him." Gustav pointed out.

"That just proves how good he is." Hansson smugly replied. "We have however brought in Archibald Douglas as Chief of the Army to provide a more visible face."

"I'm not sure about bringing in a Scottish officer at this tense time." Gustav stuttered nervously.

"He is as Swedish as you are your majesty." Hansson reassured him.

"You mean he's half-German." Gustav said reverentially, an ecstatic grin plastered across his face.

"No he's properly Swedish. As Swedish as me." Hansson replied to the suddenly depressed monarch.

"Moving on, the Navy will bring Erik Palmstierna out of retirement. He was navy minister twenty years ago so we hope he knows who swapped the names on HSwMS Gotland and HSwMS Fylgia. We can't have the HSwMS Gotland being a Flygia-class cruiser and vice-versa, it makes us look stupid."

"I do keep getting mocking letters from other monarchs about that." Gustav sadly nodded.

"In the air we need to call upon one of the founding fathers of the Swedish Air Force to reinvigorate it."

"The very first chief, Karl Amundson!" Gustav said excitedly.

"No, he's too dead." Hansson sadly shook his head.

"His successor, Eric Virgin!"

Hansson shook his head.

"He didn't die in Abyssinia did he?"

"It would have been better if he had, would have made it less shameful."

"So it's Torsten Friis. He knows his telephones and forts I'll admit, but are we sure he's the best we have for the air force?" Gustav asked doubtfully.

"Well he's not dead and he hasn't spectacularly cocked up as military advisor to a conquered state, so he's the best of what's left." Hansson explained.

"Any changes to the civilian side of my government?"

"Per Wijkman has requested he be allowed to adopt a codename during cabinet meetings." Hansson passed over the letter.

"Instead of Per Wijkman he wants to be called Peter G. A. Wijkman." Gustav read. "I'm not an expert, but that seems a terrible codename."

"It was inspired by German coding and security best practice." Hansson said.

"Well in that case it's fine." Gustav signed the document with a flourish.

"We have also appoitned a new Armaments Minister." Hansson moved the meeting on.

"Did you go for Erik Einar Ekstrand? He had some exciting ideas about submarines." Gustav enthused.

"No, he had some exciting ideas about diplomatic sub-committees." Hansson brought out the dictionary and pointed to the relevant words. "We went for Ernst Trygger, he was the best person to push forward our revolutionary Atoms and Jets programme."

"That's Ernst Trygger the ex-Prime Minister?" Gustav asked.

Hansson nodded.

"The dead one?"

"Yes. With him at the helm we will not be wasting any money on a nuclear programme or developing jets."

Gustav nodded at this wisdom.

--
Notes:
Sweden did not suffer as badly as Latin America, but it still didn't go well.

Our issues start with the King himself. Paradox think the King is Gustav while the internet insists its Gustaf. To your undoubted shock I believe Paradox are wrong on this, if only because the Swedish Royal Court side with the 'F' group. I may have very slightly exagerated the pro-German leanings of the King, but basically that was him only more cowardly and with a bit more dodgy blackmail. Also Terrible Glasses.

PM, Foreign Minister and Head of Intelligence bang on. Per / Peter Wijkman was security related job and was indeed Per, no idea where the G. A. came from.

The Gustav confusion continues as they have given the (correct) chief of staff the wrong middle name, they meant August. Perhaps confused by the Carl Gustaf recoilless rifle? Or just general ineptness.

There was no Minister for the Navy in Sweden, it was abolished in 1920s. Erik P was the last minister who had that job. As mentioned the Swedish OOB is a bit broken and the ship / class names don't match up, another triumph of Paradox research, attention to detail and testing.

Torsten Friis was commander of the field telegraph corps and served in the fortification troops. A natural choice to lead the naescent Swedish airforce, honestly I was all preped for this to be a Paradox cockup but it was in fact a Swedish OTL awful choice. Then again his predecessor was indeed Eric Virgin, a man who enjoyed the jokes about his name so much he quit Sweden in 1934 and was hired by Abyssinia to reform their military. Sadly he spent more time mocking the Italians than actually training the Abyssinian Army, with results we all know.

Archibald Douglas, a wonderfully Swedish name and OTL senior officer. A direct descendant of the Scottish mercenary cavalry officer Robert Douglas, a man who fought so well for Sweden in the Thirty Years war he got promoted to Field Marshall, commanded in all the big battles and ended up a Count with massive estates. Delightfully the family kept up the 'proper' Scottish names even hundreds of years later.

Finally Ernst Trygger, the only corpse in the government. PM in the 20s, quit parliament in 1937, died in 1943. Lawyer, academic and lecturer, his views on nukes an jets are unknown. That said, in OTL Sweden did the IKEA route for jets - buying in 'kits' of engines from USA and UK and getting Volvo to ineptly nail them together. A dead man seems perfect to oversea that, no chance of corruption or wasting money on indigenous R&D.


With this all over, we will be returning to Bratisalva and finally entering 1945!
 
"Moving on, the Navy will bring Erik Palmstierna out of retirement. He was navy minister twenty years ago so we hope he knows who swapped the names on HSwMS Gotland and HSwMS Fylgia. We can't have the HSwMS Gotland being a Flygia-class cruiser and vice-versa, it makes us look stupid."

As mentioned the Swedish OOB is a bit broken and the ship / class names don't match up, another triumph of Paradox research, attention to detail and testing.

Ugh, don't get me started on the naval OOBs... They can't even get the damn Soviets right, and I don't know how the Hell you mess up the Soviet navy of all things, given that they had, what, two tin cans and a floating rubber ducky?

Finally Ernst Trygger, the only corpse in the government. PM in the 20s, quit parliament in 1937, died in 1943.

As far as Paradox research failures go, a relatively minor one, almost excusable. Some intern simply forgot to enter a death date in his file. Certainly better than the corpses in South America who passed away in the 1920s and are now just stinking up the place.

With this all over, we will be returning to Bratisalva and finally entering 1945!

Wait just a moment here, is this wise? Is it even legal? For an El Pip AAR to actually advance the calendar year, I'm not sure there is a precedent for this. :eek:
 
Wait just a moment here, is this wise? Is it even legal? For an El Pip AAR to actually advance the calendar year, I'm not sure there is a precedent for this. :eek:

I believe there is, at least in one @El Pip AAR: The Butterfly Effect has changed years (1936 to 1937); which, given the duration of those AARs one might be forgiven for forgetting (at least temporarily).
 
Going into 1945? That calls for a traditional Slovakian celebration! <pop - glug glug burp glug> A round of S.O.P. Vodca Vodka, ersatz pretzels and a specially commissioned Social Realist poem to really do it in style. You could even bring in a captive Czech <spit> poet to ridicule, just for laughs.

T&T may have made it to 1945, but surely it will be a Soviet firing squad or an Allied War Crimes trial before another year passes. Or, perhaps a worse fate, handed over to a Czech Communist government tribunal for the Administration of Rough Justice! :eek:
 
Archibald Douglas, a wonderfully Swedish name and OTL senior officer. A direct descendant of the Scottish mercenary cavalry officer Robert Douglas, a man who fought so well for Sweden in the Thirty Years war he got promoted to Field Marshall, commanded in all the big battles and ended up a Count with massive estates. Delightfully the family kept up the 'proper' Scottish names even hundreds of years later.

Also the only interesting man in their cabinet. Trust Paradox to single out Sweden yet again...this time in a world full of insanity by making their own country dull as dishwater.

Sort of cuts down on several people's hopes of a thoroughly mad Allied leadership comprising of the like of Charlie Chaplin, Lord Haw Haw and...um...Winston Churchill.
 
I'm terribly confused... we're actually moving on? :eek:
 
Ugh, don't get me started on the naval OOBs... They can't even get the damn Soviets right, and I don't know how the Hell you mess up the Soviet navy of all things, given that they had, what, two tin cans and a floating rubber ducky?

I've always lamented the absence of the Göteborg, the Dedalo, the Commandant Teste...
 
Ugh, don't get me started on the naval OOBs... They can't even get the damn Soviets right, and I don't know how the Hell you mess up the Soviet navy of all things, given that they had, what, two tin cans and a floating rubber ducky?
The Soviet Navy is surprisingly tricky. Huge amounts of ex-Czarist ships that were allegedly still in service, lots of utter death-trap submarines, that one odd Italian understory and the confused mess that was the Kirov 'class' where every ship was a bit different from all the others.

Still, they had HOI2, HOI3 and a Soviet focused DLC to try and fix it, so it's not like Paradox lacked the opportunity.

As far as Paradox research failures go, a relatively minor one, almost excusable. Some intern simply forgot to enter a death date in his file. Certainly better than the corpses in South America who passed away in the 1920s and are now just stinking up the place.
I vaguely wonder if the non-standard Swedish governments would be worse - the fascist/communist 1944 ministers have probably never been seen by a human. After al, why on earth would you start as Sweden in the 1944 scenario and then launch a coup to go fascist?

Wait just a moment here, is this wise? Is it even legal? For an El Pip AAR to actually advance the calendar year, I'm not sure there is a precedent for this. :eek:
I believe there is, at least in one @El Pip AAR: The Butterfly Effect has changed years (1936 to 1937); which, given the duration of those AARs one might be forgiven for forgetting (at least temporarily).
Those with exceptionally long memories (like say @AtlanticFriend and @Hightemplar ) will recall that King Haakon and Fjords also achieved this milestone by ticking over from 1939 into 1940. So this will be the 3rd El Pip AAR to advance into a new calendar year. It's practically a tradition at this point. ;)

Going into 1945? That calls for a traditional Slovakian celebration! <pop - glug glug burp glug> A round of S.O.P. Vodca Vodka, ersatz pretzels and a specially commissioned Social Realist poem to really do it in style. You could even bring in a captive Czech <spit> poet to ridicule, just for laughs.

T&T may have made it to 1945, but surely it will be a Soviet firing squad or an Allied War Crimes trial before another year passes. Or, perhaps a worse fate, handed over to a Czech Communist government tribunal for the Administration of Rough Justice! :eek:
Czech Poetry. Dear lord no-one deserves that. But yes everything else is present and correct for a Slovak party.

T&T suffered the 'worst fate' OTL so whatever they manage this time around cannot be worse than that. Because the Czech rough justice was almost farcical, it was obviously a kangaroo court but it was spectacularly petty. Actual charges laid against Tiso at his trial included;
  • Producing propaganda throughout the war against the USSR, in which he proclaimed fictions that the USSR threatens all civilization and Christianity, commits atrocities and wants to enslave the whole world
  • Awarding medals to the Slovak troops who fought against Poland
  • Wanting the Slovak people to be allowed to "freely, according to their own will to determine the future life of Slovakia in full, including the state system, in a friendly coexistence with the surrounding nations, and thus contribute to the arrangement of the situation in Central Europe in a spirit of Christianity"
  • Sending Guards Officers to Senheim, Germany, where they were not only practiced, but also ideologically processed to introduce military training,
  • Disgracing the USSR and the Western powers,
  • Awarding the Grand Cross of the Slovak Cross to a German
Given all the actual terrible things T&T did, and was charged with at the same time, I am staggered anyone could keep a straight face during the trial.

Also the only interesting man in their cabinet. Trust Paradox to single out Sweden yet again...this time in a world full of insanity by making their own country dull as dishwater.

Sort of cuts down on several people's hopes of a thoroughly mad Allied leadership comprising of the like of Charlie Chaplin, Lord Haw Haw and...um...Winston Churchill.
Sweden was quite a dull country at the time, so they probably didn't have much to work with.

I'm terribly confused... we're actually moving on? :eek:
Yes we are moving, but don't worry it will be at a nice gentle pace.

I've always lamented the absence of the Göteborg, the Dedalo, the Commandant Teste...
The Göteborg is present, just as a standard light cruiser. The Dedalo decommissioned in 1934 and was on her way to scrapping when the SCW broke out so I can understand Paradox not including her. The Commandant Teste however is an in-excusable over-sight.
 
I vaguely wonder if the non-standard Swedish governments would be worse - the fascist/communist 1944 ministers have probably never been seen by a human. After al, why on earth would you start as Sweden in the 1944 scenario and then launch a coup to go fascist?

Well...that sounds like a gopd test for the paradox troll theory. If it's anywhere near correct, they'll have taken the oppurtunity to go mad with the cabinet since its almost impossible to get to it in the first place.

Honestly, it would be more suprising, and possibly further evidence of the theory, if the cabinet was sparkling clean of madness and the best in the game.