Chapter 3
Under Bulgar Hoof
Hi, I'm Jake Blue and this is
Cram Class Austrian History, and today we're going to talking about here (spins globe, misses the black sea and instead hits Japan. Looks to see were he pointed) Not my best work.
*Intro song plays while animated important Austrian historical events flash by, each with some text containing fun facts.*
Now last time we talked about Austria's and to a greater extent, the West's trading with the tribes of the east. Now today we will be talking about Ukraine and the Balkans.
"Mr. Blue! Mr. Blue! Why would we talk about those guys? This is Austrian History."
Oh me from the past, you can be so ignorant. Now Janus would continue conqueror his fellow vassals, as well as centralise his realm. These actions, while strengthening Austria, would severely destabilise Bavaria.
Janus would also invest in massive economic projects, one of which was a 10 foot statue of solid iron, which still stands today. However, while prestigious, they nearly bankrupted the country, which would also destabilise the realm.
But as Bavaria waned, Austria boomed.
But this prosperity would make Austria a prime target of Viking invasion, which would become more and more common after 800 CE
Bavaria's instability would lead to the King converting to the Fraticelli heresy
Meanwhile, Janus would continue his studies of the stars
However, while Austria's king was quite intelligent by all accounts, his doctor treated his cancer with more questionable cures. His court surgeon would die in 817 CE
Though overshadowing all of these events was the publishing of
The Solar Papers, which said that the Earth actually revolved around the sun, much to the anger of the pope. However, despite this religious backlash, if anything historical documents point to Janus believing his findings only proved that the Christian God existed, a such complexity could only have been achieved by a divine being.
Life was peaceful in prosperous Austria, with Janus introducing his heir Berthold to the realm as well as celebrating the birth of a daughter.
Of course, Janus wouldn't let a little party get in the way of conquering more territory.
However, this constant war would lead to a large peasant revolt which would end with 250 dead farmers and miners and 100 dead soldiers.
Another daughter was born, and the realm flourished.
But in a brilliant term of events a deranged drunkard somehow discover the source of Janus's cancer: His Hand. It was immediately cut off in a incredibly bloody operation which almost killed the ageing Janus.
But of course, seeing the instability of Bavaria, King Yectirek of the Bulgar tribe invaded Bavaria, completely conquering it, which reminds me its time for the open letter.
An open letter to conquering. Hey conquering its me, Jake Blue, and while I both admire and hate you're work, it is often puzzling to me what you do after you succeed. Most ruler either forcefully integrate their new subjects, unless you are the Mongols
*Mongoltage plays*
And that usually results in a huge rebellion that forces you to have to conqueror your enemies all over again, which is really inefficient. Best wishes, Jake Blue.
Anyways, Janus, as always disregarded any danger to the kingdom until it was unstoppable, instead spending time educating his son.
As I said before, the Bulgar Horde conquered Bavaria, and then promptly began exploiting them for their own needs.
However, while the Bulgar king was oppressive, Catholicism was never rooted out of these lands.
And in a moment that could only be described as hilarious, the conquerors of Bavaria were or the Tengri, who had been emboldened by the reformation of their faith to then go and conquer the west. This only goes to show that destiny has a deranged sense of humour.
The genius of the drunkard continued to amaze Austria, who would also discover early treatments for dysentery and influenza.
In West Karloman, the brother of the late king of West Francia, Karl, formed the empire of Francia, uniting all of western Catholic mainland Europe.
While the drunkard could cure cancer, he couldn't cure syphilis.
Under the tyranny of the Bulgar king, Janus's kindness would disappear.
Join us next time, when we discuss the death of the founder of the Anniona dynasty and war of independence war on the horizon. And remember, don't forget to be awesome.
*White board video cuts out*
Class is over folks. Remember, your essay comparing our first ruler and our current glorious premier is due tomorrow. See you all tomorrow.
