Chapter 1: The first steps toward reclaiming Norse greatness
Author's note: The overall style will be narrative/history book, with a shade toward the latter. I'll include a gameplay section at the end of each update so you can see inside my proverbial head. There might also be footnotes; we shall see. On to the update!
Few historians remember the last few years of the reign of Odd II. Guttorm was, in point of fact, ruling Denmark for much of the mid-fifteenth century, up to the point where his father was increasingly cut out of major decision making processes. Nonetheless, Guttorm agreed with Odd II's plans to absorb weaker nations into the Kingdom of Denmark, in the hopes that eventually, the new lands and resources would enable a positive economic balance for Danish generations to come.
One of the earliest areas in which Guttorm was influential was foreign policy. Guttorm made an effort to reach out to Norway, particularly after the King of Sweden initially rebuffed an alliance with Denmark. Recognizing that Denmark might be alone in a future war, Guttorm sent a second diplomat to pursue a regional partnership with Mercia in the short term. He also ordered scouting parties to surreptitiously survey Denmark's neighbors in the hopes of finding weaknesses. One party came back with reports that Lincolnshire, part of Flanders, was "full of loot and ripe for conquest." A particularly strong omen was that the gods bestowed 113 ducats on the Kingdom of Denmark, a sure sign of Freya's favor. This gold would easily pay for a war against a weak power such as Flanders. However, under two months later, Odd II died and Halstein Aines raised his right to Guttorm's throne, on the basis of "having a large axe" and "being willing to use said axe." To be fair, the size of your melee weapons remains an important part of Norse legal precedent to this day.
Diplomatic communique from the Kingdom of Sweden, 14 November 1444. A mysterious unidentified yellow substance stained the paper. A clue as to the substance comes from diplomat Tryggve Orm, who wrote in his diary that "Odd II may punish us severely for our failure."
A signed order from Prince Guttorm demanding investigations into Lincolnshire, 15 December 1444. Although Guttorm's later historical reputation made him appear quite peaceful, a mysterious unidentified red substance covers many of the surviving scouting party reports.
The last significant decision of Odd II, 1 January 1445. Odd believed in the sanctity of warfare above all else, including (but not limited to) looting people, sometimes personally. Guttorm came up with the idea of a fictional "monopoly" to grant to some of the robbery victims. This particular victim received a monopoly in unicorn blood.
Guttorm's day of coronation, 22 February 1445. As with Odd, Guttorm adopted Freya as the patron goddess of Denmark.
After Odd II's death, Guttorm ruled as King in his own right. Many Norse mistrusted Guttorm solely because his eldest child was a daughter named Iliana. However, the royal Seer saw her as a "mighty warrior and diplomat." Given that these two traits seemed unrelated, the popular peasant explanation was that Iliana would murder her enemies by throwing heavy palimpsests, books, or writing implements at them. Such ferocity was not unimpressive, although Iliana was far too young to have a significant role for most of her father's reign.
After putting down the rebellion of Halstein (thanks in large part to Skullsplitter), Guttorm's first year was filled with ill omens from the gods. The port of Cumbria was struck with influenza, which was attributed to a curse from Odin. The royal marriage between Guttorm's youngest daughter, Rikissa, and an influential duke from Mercia offered a rare respite for Danes ravaged by disease, but when Guttorm angered Thor (allegedly) by "forever abandoning Danish ancestral rights to the lands of Copenhagen, etc.," much of that goodwill was spent. In reality, Guttorm found Sjaelland a natural friend and ally in the short term. By controlling the entrance to the Baltic Sea, Sjaelland offered trade possibilities and an ambitious Norse nation that might one day support the ambitions of Denmark. A royal marriage with Sweden, however, demonstrated that the King had yet to discard his hopes of finding a true friend in Sweden. In order to prove his worth to the other nations of Europe (and to acquire territory that was once part of Britannia), Guttorm began war with Flanders on 27 December 1445.
Iliana's presentation as heir to the throne, 22 February 1445, went largely without incident after a stirring speech by the royal Seer.
Attempts to pass off the influenza in Cumbria of 29 June 1445 as "a natural occurrence" only engendered distrust and fear from the local peasantry. "Wrath of Odin" was far more palatable to the average peasant. One reportedly muttered, "Yeah, the old bastard would do something like that."
The war between Denmark and Flanders began on 27 December 1445. Although historical accounts tend to use fancy terms like "fabrication of claims", "just war", and "an elegant dance of blood and iron", the actual note sent by Danish diplomat Toke Orm, brother of Tryggve, just said "We want your land and will kill you until you give it to us."
As the first war of King Guttorm's admittedly bloody reign, military historians have continued to analyze the initial campaign to see if they could learn how war was fought in the 1440s (apart from "not very well" and "with reckless abandon.") The earliest sign that the war might go poorly was the name of the enemy general: Halfdan Viktor. Many Danish soldiers, remembering the glorious legacy of Halfdans of years past, broke and ran. Even General Olafr Rannveig admitted that fighting such an esteemed leader filled him with dread. Territorial analysis done by historians of the eighteenth century attributed Danish defeat more to the presence of a river crossing and, crucially, an inappropriate ratio of infantry to cavalry. Some even allowed that Halfdan Viktor was far better than Rannveig at managing cavalry. Another common theme was the fact that Lincolnshire surrendered to Danish troops early on in the war, which made victory all but inevitable. To people at the time, the name was all the explanation they needed for the bloody Battle of Meath and another sign that Thor was displeased.
Thor's will or military realities did not change any time soon. Halfdan Viktor won battle after battle, slaughtering Danish viking warriors and mercenaries with equal aplomb. Only at Ulster in August 1447 was Olafr Rannveig able to defeat Halfdan, with twice as many as soldiers as Halfdan commanded. This battle marked a real turning point in Danish fortunes, militarily and otherwise. Halfdan Viktor was captured after the Second Battle of Ulster and paraded through the streets of Jorvik. Ran, goddess of the sea, also smiled upon Guttorm, enabling the defeat of the navy of Flanders and preventing a second invasion. Danish troops landed at the capital of Flanders, Utrecht, in the winter of 1447 and finally hoisted the Danish flag (and more than a few enemy heads, including that of Halfdan Viktor) above Lincolnshire.
Olfar Rannveig attacks Meath, 22 September 1446. Rannveig had strange ideas about gunpowder weapons and their use in future warfare, for example, that guns were better than axes. This led to a dark period known as the "Age of the Axe-Launcher," with more than half of all Norse casualties occurring as a result of "training accidents."
The Battle of Meath, 30 September 1446. This day marked the first time that somebody discovered the name of the enemy leader. Uncoincidentally, it began the decline of Danish fortunes in the war.
The end of the Battle of Meath, 29 October 1446.
The end of the Zeroth Battle of Ulster, 16 February 1447.
The end of the First Battle of Ulster, 15 August 1447. The numbering of the battles of Ulster created confusion for years until a historian realized that Olafr Rannveig had simply ordered his troops not to remember the battle of February. Since the battle did happen, as many died, were wounded, or had flaming axes buried in their skulls, the legend of the "Zeroth Battle" was born.
The attack on the fleet of Flanders, 19 September 1447. While multiple causes have been suggested for the Danish victory, an unpopular one (in Jorvik, at least) was the fact that massive warships fought rowboats.
A rare archival find of 25 December 1446 showed that Gloucestershire, belonging to Gwynedd, was in fact Danish territory. In a more modern war, Danish officers used this day as a test to see if people were enemy spies. If they said that "25 December" was the birthday of the White Christ, the enemy was disemboweled for being a heathen. If they said anything else, they were usually safe. At one point, somebody correctly identified the events of 25 December 1446; he was disemboweled because nobody likes a know-it-all.
The peace treaty that ended the war, 12 February 1448.
The successful conclusion to the war with Flanders bought Guttorm I some respect, a substance in short supply during his early reign. Most importantly, it impressed the Swedes enough that they finally agreed to a military alliance with Denmark. Guttorm quietly sent a diplomat to France to see if they might consider an alliance as well, with the end goal of building a mighty coalition against Norway. In the fall of 1448, an aggressive campaign to ban all references to Norway in Denmark resulted in a brief period of instability. It was a brutal time for some, as some individuals tried to claim that "Norse and Norwegian are basically the same thing anyway." Few such people survived. One of those who tried to claim that there was nothing wrong with being Norwegian was General Olafr Rannveig, who badly miscalculated how popular he was after the war (and the resentment built up among the survivors of the Axe-Launcher). His replacement, Arnmod Asa, was a bit of a dullard, but enthusiastically condemned all things Norwegian.
Knowing how bloodthirsty his people were, Guttorm I knew he had to keep expanding, especially if he was to prevent people from traveling to London and prematurely beginning a war with Norway. Sweden asked for Danish assistance to subjugate Cologne, providing an opportunity to "bleed off" overly aggressive Norse soldiers. Guttorm happily agreed and cheered the Swedes on to glorious victory over an inland minor of three provinces. He made his own plans to prove that Norfolk and Oxfordshire should become part of Denmark. Wessex declared Denmark a bitter rival at this point, which did little to frighten anyone, but still, in late 1450, Denmark acquired her second ally, Sjaelland. Everything was being set up for a confrontation between Sweden, Sjaelland, Denmark on one side and Norway on the other, with a couple of extra provinces integrated into Denmark.
The alliance of 14 February 1448 was Guttorm's self-described "greatest achievement", and given the length of the alliance, he might not be mistaken.
The ban on all things Norwegian dates from 12 September 1448, when an accidental meeting in London horrified a Danish citizen when a Norwegian said that "decapitation was just as effective as disemboweling." The heated discussion ended when the Norwegian offered to prove the viability of decapitation by attempting to decapitate a wooden fence post and failing, offering the Dane an opportunity to disembowel him.
Arnmod Asa, hired 4 March 1449, had military qualifications that included "knowing which end of the axe to hold" and "vehemently denying the efficacy of decapitation." Knowledge of the word "efficacy" was viewed with suspicion, as it sounded Norwegian, but it turned out that Asa thought "efficacy" was a type of hedgehog. Some scholars tried to claim that the sentence would then make no sense, but after a disemboweling or two, their claims were retracted.
The Danish claim on Norfolk was put forward on 25 June 1448, under the longstanding principle of "we want it, try and stop us."
Even though the war between Sweden and Cologne (30 March 1450 was the date Denmark joined) was extremely one sided and the Danes did nothing in the entire conflict, local lore suggests that after some Swedish defeats, Guttorm I told the King of Sweden to "maybe not lose so many battles." Nobody believes this outside of four extremely intoxicated historians who wanted to get something published badly.
By the time Guttorm started claiming Oxfordshire (30 August 1449), other nations started to question the wisdom of bordering Denmark. A spirited attempt by Oxford to erase Oxfordshire from all Danish maps (and write the words "here there be dragons") succeeded, but East Anglia annexed them instead.
The peace treaty ending the war between Sweden and Cologne, dated 19 April 1450. Despite the complete lack of participation in the war by Danish soldiers or sailors, the Danish flag is still prominently drawn in the top left.
In the short term, however, even as Denmark built up to conflict with Norway, local wars were the order of the day. One such war was against East Anglia. East Anglia's cowardly annexation of Oxford stirred up opinion against East Anglia, since Denmark had intended to annex Oxford. Accordingly, Danish forces showed them no mercy, and in just over a year, East Anglia was absorbed into the Kingdom of Denmark. Everybody was happy, except for Kare Rolland, who complained about the cost multiple wars had inflicted upon the Danish treasury. Guttorm I, surprising everyone, permitted Rolland to continue living, but only by claiming that Rolland had eaten inferior Norwegian herring by mistake, which had driven him temporarily mad.
Throughout much of the early 1450s, the Danish economy was actually stable. In peacetime, government funding of the military, particularly garrisons, was reduced. Danish builders developed a new system of marketplaces designed to increase trade flow in 1453, with the first such marketplace begun in Lothian. When Flanders viciously attacked Sjaelland (along with Flanders, Florence, and Torzhok), Danish troops were at the ready, winning victories at land and at sea in the hopes of annexing pieces of Florence. The destruction of an enemy fleet in the English Channel was especially important, but in the final peace deal, Denmark received nothing. Even worse (for some people), Arnmod Asa was killed in the fighting, which stirred up discontent in his native Cumbria. Guttorm I briefly considered sending in the army to quell a revolt, but instead let the Baron of Cumbria deal with it. The war between Flanders and Sjaelland was the subject of several poems, including a National Epic that glorified the death of Asa. Danish patriotism was at an all-time high and ready to lead a glorious war to destroy the hated Norwegians. Guttorm I even agreed, officially proclaiming the capture of Ayrshire as one of his goals. Although Ayrshire belonged to Gwynedd, it was a vital staging ground to claim the rest of the Norwegian highlands.
The proclamation asserting Danish ancestral rights in Ayrshire was signed 24 December 1450, before the war against East Anglia had even started. Surprisingly, Norway never objected or seemed to notice that Denmark had effectively declared war on Norway. Given how few people could read at this time, perhaps it was less surprising.
Declaration of war on East Anglia, 12 September 1451. This war was briefly termed "the Great War," not because it was particularly long or bloody, but because it was universally popular and an easy victory.
Peace treaty with East Anglia, 9 October 1452, if a country that no longer exists can legally sign a peace treaty.
Kare Rolland spoke out against the expenditure of money by the King multiple times, especially on 1 January 1453. Guttorm I publicly thanked Rolland, but it is still curious that all of Rolland's documents were written in an entirely different hand and that nobody saw him in public after that date.
The war between Sjaelland and Flanders began 20 September 1453. Denmark hoped to seize Florentine provinces in the British Isles, and did capture several. Some Danish patriots call the later peace "treasonous", despite the fact that Denmark ending the war with a separate peace would probably not have been looked on fondly by Sjaelland.
The destruction of the Florentine fleet on 1 February 1454 made Mansur Styrbjorn a national hero. Most Danish admirals are looked at more kindly than generals, partially because many Danish generals were incompetent, but mostly because it is far easier to disembowel somebody with a cannonball than decapitate them. This explains the love for naval power in Denmark.
In a moment of delight, Guttorm I happily signed the order permitting Cumbria to do as they pleased with the memory of Arnmod Asa. This law, signed 2 January 1455, utterly relinquished any Danish national rights to honor Asa in favor of purely local celebrations. Later generations discovered that the King's decision was based entirely on the stupidity of Asa and his general incompetence. Instead of taking it as an insult, even the celebrated Cumbrian politician Alexander Moller admitted that, "Yeah, Asa was a dunce, and we were better off without him."
The hated peace treaty of Flanders gave zero land to Denmark. Signed in 14 April 1455, the treaty ended the war but -- and it is crucial to remember this -- Denmark got nothing out of it. Not land, not gold, not even prestige. This is especially irritating because Danish soldiers and sailors died for the treaty. Not classy at all, Sjaelland. Not the least bit classy.
Although Denmark was victorious, Guttorm I faced resistance in the court because people had died for nothing. Vikings, as we all know, insist on dying for something. "The glory of dining in Valhalla" was no longer sufficient for some families. Some of the more well-to-do Danish peasants (the sort who vehemently object to the name "peasant") insisted upon greater rights, including government positions and the ability to wear any hats they liked, no matter how silly. This second demand confused the King, as he had never expressly forbidden anyone to wear hats of any kind, but he quickly agreed nevertheless.
Given Guttorm's penchant for foreign policy, it is somewhat curious that he never understood the group of countries that had grown to loathe Denmark. Mercia declared Denmark their rival in November 1456, then even more troublingly signed an alliance with Flanders. However, while other countries plotted the doom of Denmark, Guttorm I had more important matters. Barid Gunnarr of Oxfordshire demanded more autonomy for his home and raised an army of 10,000 to fight. Sven Sunniva, an immensely skilled leader, was hired by Guttorm I to lead Denmark's armies. The King then sent the army into battle without Sven Sunniva, resulting in a victory for Gunnarr. Admiral Styrbjorn died of apoplexy weeks later. This incident was later used as justification for declaring Guttorm I insane, despite the fact that everybody had forgotten about the particularists and also it was three years later. Kare Rolland's influence in the court grew as a result. Guttorm I later blamed Rolland for the war between Sjaelland and Torzhok. The King was ready to dismiss Sjaelland's call, still bitter over Denmark not getting anything from their last war, but Rolland insisted that showing loyalty to one's allies was a critical part of proper diplomacy.
The reasoning for the war is a matter of some dispute, given that Rolland had consistently been anti-war for most of administration. Guttorm I was also one of the more pacifistic Norse kings. Scholars speculate that some unknown force behind the throne agreed to the war but "failed to read the popup notification that showed that Florence and Flanders were allied to Sjaelland." Those scholars are dismissed as paranoid schizophrenics. The top five currently accepted explanations, ranked in order of least popular to most popular, are 1) Kare Rolland; 2) Guttorm I; 3) Incurring the wrath of Thor; 4) Being rewarded by Thor; 5) Pigeons. When pressed for further clarifications, most Danish people sensibly admit that pigeons are the most evil creatures the gods have ever created, and therefore lurk behind the scenes of most historical events. Since this explanation makes perfect sense, it usually ends the conversation. All scholars agree, however, that the oddly named "Pigeon War" proved disastrous for Denmark in the long run.
A woodcut of some of the ridiculous hats that the middle class wanted to wear, dated 8 January 1456. Even more horrifying is the fact that the carver was actually fond of the hats himself and therefore tried to make them look as non-ridiculous as possible.
The defeat of Oxfordshire (31 May 1459) is considered the first evidence of the insanity of Guttorm I. Only a total idiot would send an army into battle without a general.
The decree, signed by Guttorm I, granting further power to Kare Rolland (16 January 1462). Trying to reconcile the fact that Rolland was clearly given additional power with the fact that Rolland was just as clearly not alive has caused several noted historians many sleepless nights. Kare Rolland's actual death was recorded much later, which provides even more confusion. Inadequate record keeping like this goes to explain the many pigeon-related theories surrounding the history of Denmark.
The war between Sjaelland and Torzhok, started 13 May 1468. The Pigeon War is among the most studied conflicts in Danish history, for reasons that shall become clear in the next chapter.
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I hope you enjoyed this first proper update! My plans in this period were quite simple: to expand enough to eventually eliminate the budgetary shortfall. I'm a little bothered that the exporter didn't give me more cores or claims, but I do enjoy a challenge. I think most of my decisions are self-explanatory. For the Bourgeoisie event, it was sacrificing diplomatic power or administrative power, and you almost
always want the latter. I'll pretty consistently follow any policy or idea that boosts administrative power throughout the AAR. During this update, I picked up Admin 4, Diplo 4 & 5, and Military 4.
One item I didn't discuss in the update (because I don't remember where they came from) was a sizeable rebellion that I think crept into my territory from Norwegian-held London. My new general, Sven Sunniva, who is 3 fire/1 shock/2 maneuver, got dominated by a general who had better shock (which is so important early on in the game). As a result, I have zero manpower and almost no money when the Pigeon War starts. This may give you some clue as to why the war goes poorly. If it wasn't clear from the update, Sjaelland is most of modern day Denmark, and they'll probably be the worst ally I ever choose, at least up to this point.
I think that covers why I did what I did for most of the update. I'm pleased, overall, with how this first bit of the game went. It took me a while to remember EUIV mechanics (and learn some new ones introduced by expansions I didn't yet have), which explains my poor performance in the war with Flanders (stupid Flanders). If you want to know about something in the update, feel free to ask. I might not answer to maintain suspense for future chapters, but I also might answer, so what's the worst that can happen? (Answer to rhetorical question: I won't answer the question. Not the rhetorical question, but the hypothetical question you may or may not ask.)
Next update could come this weekend, but more likely next week. Thanks for reading!
What this means is that, from a gameplay perspective, if you guys notice I'm doing things wrong, I won't have a chance to fix them or make improvements until we get closer to 1600. I also forgot to do my standard 50 year updates that have general information. I was caught up in things and completely missed major milestones. 
