I've been reading through the stories on this board and a lot of them have similar issues. I figured I'd jot down a couple general suggestions. Apologies to anyone I used as an example, it's not meant to imply anything about your work!
- Many of these stories are too inspired by EU4. In most literature, the primary actors are individuals; in EU4 and most of these stories, the primary actors are nations. This isn't impossible to pull off (the book World War Z is a great example) but it's very hard, especially with such a short word limit. Stories with nations as their primary actors often read more like AARs, with the dramatic arc just focusing on a country getting stronger. Humans do interesting things on a much smaller scale than nations, and we're wired to sympathize with other humans, even fictional ones.
- Show, don't tell. You've probably heard that one before, but it never hurts to remind yourself of it.
Example: "A regal manner surrounded this man, his fine clothing a small part of a greater whole." Readers are lazy beasts, and most won't bother trying to imagine a regal manner or a greater whole if you don't shove the idea down their throats.
Here's another way to get the same point across: "The man in the purple silks stood, and everyone was made shorter by his presence." If a man can affect the body language of an entire room just by standing, then he's regal, purple silks be damned.
- You don't need to walk the reader through exposition.
"The Teutons might be brave warriors, but they were extremely stupid. They had declared their "Sternhafen Crusade" nearly a year ago, taking the time to raise support and manpower before setting off for the New World. What they hadn't grasped was that even with the fall of the German cities, there were still many Hanseatic trading posts in Europe. Some had accepted Teutonic authority, but those in Protestant nations like France, Holland, or Scandinavia had given their allegiance to Sternhafen - and, by extension, to the Haudenosaunee Confederacy. So the Hansa had known for months exactly where the Teutons were going to attack."
It's important that the writer has figured all this out, but we don't need to see all of his work.
A quicker option: "Master Jurgen sends you this month's Teutonic shipping manifests with his compliments, and begs you remember in your prayers those back home who keep faith with the League."
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av64gOA9nXM
Don't yada-yada through the good parts!
"It was hilarious to watch. The republican infantry ran around in panic. They were completely taken by surprise."
This does sound hilarious, and I wish I got to read about it! What hilarious things happened? Did a soldier get his bayonet stuck in an enemy and then yank it out with such force that he hit himself in the face with his own rifle butt and broke his nose? Or something?
- Story structure is very hard to do well in short stories. It's probably the most important bit but it's also too dense a topic to go into much detail here. The best I can do is suggest you watch Adventure Time, which condenses complete, satisfying stories into ten-minute arcs once a week. Orson Welles learned to make movies by sitting down and watching Stagecoach forty times in a row, and the first movie he made was Citizen Kane.
Most importantly:
- Making writing mistakes doesn't make you a "bad writer." Writing's not like music or math, where you can just be born with incredible talent. Pay close attention to what works and what doesn't, keep seeking criticism, revise furiously.
- Many of these stories are too inspired by EU4. In most literature, the primary actors are individuals; in EU4 and most of these stories, the primary actors are nations. This isn't impossible to pull off (the book World War Z is a great example) but it's very hard, especially with such a short word limit. Stories with nations as their primary actors often read more like AARs, with the dramatic arc just focusing on a country getting stronger. Humans do interesting things on a much smaller scale than nations, and we're wired to sympathize with other humans, even fictional ones.
- Show, don't tell. You've probably heard that one before, but it never hurts to remind yourself of it.
Example: "A regal manner surrounded this man, his fine clothing a small part of a greater whole." Readers are lazy beasts, and most won't bother trying to imagine a regal manner or a greater whole if you don't shove the idea down their throats.
Here's another way to get the same point across: "The man in the purple silks stood, and everyone was made shorter by his presence." If a man can affect the body language of an entire room just by standing, then he's regal, purple silks be damned.
- You don't need to walk the reader through exposition.
"The Teutons might be brave warriors, but they were extremely stupid. They had declared their "Sternhafen Crusade" nearly a year ago, taking the time to raise support and manpower before setting off for the New World. What they hadn't grasped was that even with the fall of the German cities, there were still many Hanseatic trading posts in Europe. Some had accepted Teutonic authority, but those in Protestant nations like France, Holland, or Scandinavia had given their allegiance to Sternhafen - and, by extension, to the Haudenosaunee Confederacy. So the Hansa had known for months exactly where the Teutons were going to attack."
It's important that the writer has figured all this out, but we don't need to see all of his work.
A quicker option: "Master Jurgen sends you this month's Teutonic shipping manifests with his compliments, and begs you remember in your prayers those back home who keep faith with the League."
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av64gOA9nXM
Don't yada-yada through the good parts!
"It was hilarious to watch. The republican infantry ran around in panic. They were completely taken by surprise."
This does sound hilarious, and I wish I got to read about it! What hilarious things happened? Did a soldier get his bayonet stuck in an enemy and then yank it out with such force that he hit himself in the face with his own rifle butt and broke his nose? Or something?
- Story structure is very hard to do well in short stories. It's probably the most important bit but it's also too dense a topic to go into much detail here. The best I can do is suggest you watch Adventure Time, which condenses complete, satisfying stories into ten-minute arcs once a week. Orson Welles learned to make movies by sitting down and watching Stagecoach forty times in a row, and the first movie he made was Citizen Kane.
Most importantly:
- Making writing mistakes doesn't make you a "bad writer." Writing's not like music or math, where you can just be born with incredible talent. Pay close attention to what works and what doesn't, keep seeking criticism, revise furiously.
