The Tuscans Envy - A Tuscany AAR

[Webstantine]

The Tuscans Envy - Prologue

Welcome to my first AAR. I was inspired to make this by my fellow rookie Mr. Smiley and the king of AARs, ATBking. I will be playing as Tuscany as it has a very pretty shade of blue, in fact, I would even describe it as indigo.

If you've come to this AAR expecting world domination and overall good playing, you may have come to the wrong guy; if you came here to see pretty colours, watch average playing and read numerous bad jokes then you've most certainly come to the right guy! Now before we begin I have to apologise to any Americans reading this for my spelling; I'm English so I'll be spelling color as colour and apologize as apologise, I'm sure none of you would get annoyed by it because were all nice people here.

Contents:

Chapters during the reign of Prince Maso I:
Chapter 1 - The Ocean (below this)
Chapter 2 - The Pope and A Manly Mantua

Chapters during the reign of Prince Constantino I:
Chapter 3 - A Man, A Plan, Milan
Chapter 4 - The Rise of a Madman

Chapters during the reign of Prince Salvestro I:
Chapter 5 - The Reign of The Insane

Chapter during Prince Constantine I's second reign (later king):
Chapter 6 - The Kingdom of Tuscany
Chapter 7 - The End of One Story
So let's begin!

Chapter 1 - The Ocean

Prince Maso looked out over his kingdom, he was disappointed with it, don't get him wrong he loved Tuscany; it was just missing something. He had always wished to be able to go surfing and fishing and throw beach parties with his advisors but sadly Tuscany didn't have beaches and today he was going to fix that. He got out his map of him and his neighbors:

And as you can see everyone has beaches but him and Mantua, when he got his beach him and Mantua would have great beach parties and no-one else could come! Even the Pope had them and he's at least 90, he never throws beach parties. He called over his favourite advisor, Malsass from Alsace and asked, "Hey Mel, do you know how I could get a beach?"
"This again sir, well I suppose you could always forcefully take one"
"Yes, I know that Mel but who from?"
"How about Milan sir they only have two provinces and no army according to this map"
"Ah, you seem to have missed up north, we can't mess with Milan any time soon Mel, but definitely one day.
"What about Modena, they're small and weak!"
"I thought so but apparently them and Ferrara are best friends. And APPARENTLY "I want beaches" isn't a good enough excuse for Bohemia"
"Well we can't attack the Pope sir because attacking an old man is apparently frowned upon so that leaves us with Urbino"
"Excellent, go and tell King Antonio of Urbino for me"

Maso was finally living his dream, Antonio was now at war and Tuscany had double Urbino's troops. He was leading his 2000 men folowing a helpful map he had drawn a pretty stylised red arrow on to show him where to go:

After a long walk he finally arrived in Ancona with his army, the Urbinese king was leading his 1000 men at Maso's army, the first battle of Tuscany had begun!

And it was over before much had really happened, his army started their assault on Antonio's fortress which he had somehow got back into during the battle. After a few months living in a tent at the battleground Maso got some great news from Melsass from Alsace, "Sir, me and the men have finally bashed out a chunk of castle wall, we stormed in and got Antonio, do you want us to bring him to you?"
"Great news Mel, bring me the guy!"

Maso had put on his most intimidating cloak for this encounter with Antonio and he had put on an eyepatch to look impressive, Antonio was brought to him, "Hello Antonio, I've been expecting you"
"Hello Maso, you know you could have just asked, you could have used my beaches"
"Ha, no, it's more satisfying to get my own, me and Mantua are going to have a great beach party after this"
"So, what do you want for peace Maso, all my land, my daughter, money?"
"All of that please, and I want the title duke of Ancona"
"And what will happen to me?"
"Just sign this treaty then I'll show you"

As soon as the treaty was signed Maso drew his sword and beheaded Antonio in a very skillful and smooth maneuver. He gave the head to Mel to put on a pike and ordered a new portrait of himself to be painted whilst he was looking his best.

~Prince Maso degli Albizzi I~

 

[MrSmiley]

Lol. Nice start The Grand Nation of Tuscany has doubled in size :O

 

[Webstantine]

Thanks Smiles, I thought you'd be here first.

 

[IPlayer]

interesting... and thank you for the correct spelling of colour +sub

 

[Webstantine]

To anyone reading this, is one update a day a good amount? And hi IPlayer!
Also does anyone have any objectives I should have?

 

[MrSmiley]

jeez Webstantine.... the problem with that kinda rate is, you can burn yourself out. twice a week would be fine, depending on the size of your AARs updates.

 

[Webstantine]

Okay, I don't get burnt out easily but how about Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays? And maybe impromptu ones inbetween?

I'm going to make a contents.

 

[ATBKING]

Twice a week is perfectly fine. I update once a week due to having so many. But even then, I want to update them Twice a week. SUBBED.

 

[unmerged(717611)]

post when you want, without forcing yourself to follow a schedule. If one day you want to post twice, then post nothing for a week... It's up to you.

As for objectives.... Short terms objectives are tough to guess:
-You won't have a navy for at least 50 years
-You can't expand North (HRE) or South (Napoli, Pope) easily
-You can't do royal marriages so can't diplomatically PU/Vassalize (not sure... Tuscany is a merchant republic in vanilla?)

Maybe warning your neighbors hoping to attack them as a defender (if it makes any sense)... The only reasonable short terms objectives I can see are in the Balkans. Medium term, having a Tuscan Kingdom the size of Milan or Napoli (Basically all the provinces you've highlighted) seems to be reasonable?

 

[ATBKING]

Wait? Doesnt Tuscany start with a core on one of milans provinces?

 

[Webstantine]

Chapter 2 - The Pope and A Manly Mantua

Now that Maso had finally got his beach he decided it was time for a rest from fighting, other nations had started to see him as a violent man. He stood atop the castle of Ancona and looked down upon what he had achieved; beaches spread from as far as he could see one way too as far as he could see the other way. Down below he could see the head of Antonio being stuck on a pike by Melsass from Alsace, the sight was quite sad; Antonio was a great man. Maso started to cry, a tear fell from his eye, down from the balcony and hit a man limping across the grounds of the castle, he was wearing a beatiful sky-blue robe and had a wooden cane to help with his limp. The man looked up, was it about to rain? No, Maso's crying again, what a pathetic excuse for a prince, one day someone would have to "replace" him, and who better than this man on the grounds, Constantino Campofregoso, the newly appointed Baron of Urbino for when Maso was away crying in Firenze; yes, Constantino liked this idea but it would have to wait for now he had news for Maso.

Maso was standing in his study when he heard a knock at the door, it was his new Baron, Constantino, who was shaping up to be a quite trustworthy member of the court; "Can I help you Constantino?"
"I have news from some troops on the Milanese border, there's been a rebel outbreak from the oppressed Sienese!"
"Oh great, I was waiting for this, if they break away we only have to deal with Siena to get our rightful land in Pisa!"
"Of course, and any loss for Milan is a gain for Tuscany sir."
"Exactly, if that's all could you please go and tell Melsass to come and see me?"
"Of course sir, good bye"

"Hello Melsass, I need to know about The Pope's current position in his many wars."
"Of course sir, Ferrara is attacking Romagna and the Scottish have come from up north to the doors of Rome its self, here, I had an artist sketch the sieges for you."

"Oh yes, I see the Scots down there in their kilts and everything right here in Italy, how amusing. Does the Pope have any allies?"
"No-one but Mantua, the chances of the Pope winning this war are very low indeed"

At this point Constantino burst into the room holding a map.

"Sir! The Papal State has made peace with Ferrara and Modena"
"Oh, we were just discussing that topic! So, what did Ferrara take?"
"Quite the opposite sir, Mantua finished siegeing Ferrara and downright annexed them leaving Modena alone, The Pope seized the oppurtunity and annexed Modena. Here look at the map!"

"Oh my, and what of Scotland?"
"They ran away after the deal with Ferrara was made, no doubt scared by their successes."
"Also oddly, Mantua, after taking Ferrara, decided it would back-stab the Pope. Not that I'd know anything about back-stabbing sir."
"Of course Constantino, well let me say Mantua won't be alone against The Pope, Mel, get the army ready and Constantino, send a diplomat to tell the Pope we're attacking"
"As you wish sir"

And with a swish of a sky-blue gown Constantino limped his way out of the room. Melsass turned to Maso and said "Sir, don't you think there's anything odd about Contantino constantly reminding you he's not backstabbing you?"
"Not at all Mel, it's good to have someone to trust these days, now go and get the army ready now."
"Yes sir."

The following day Maso lead his 3000 men (he had bought some horses since his last war) towards Rome, only to get out maneuvered and ended up stuck in Romagna, "Well this could have gone better sir!" shout Melsass across the battleground.
"Don't worry Mel this should be easy to sort out, the Pope split his army in two to take out both our provinces, we'll first march to Firenze and take out the 1000 papal soldiers there then we'll move on to Ancona and defeat the rest, if this goes to plan we'll storm Rome!"
"Sounds good sir, let's go!"
"ONWARD TUSCANS, TO TUSCANY"

"Well that worked better than I expected!" said Maso standing in his battle tent outside Rome whilst his men chopped at the walls.
"Indeed sir, we just got news from Mantua that they've made peace"
"Oh really what for?"
"Well here's the note we recieved from the Mantuan messanger."

"But that puts them at twice our size, we can't be having that!"
"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about it right now, oh and Siena formed whilst the battle was on, I have to go and join the siege now, good bye sir."

As Mel left the tent he was quickly replaced by Constantino limping in, he said "Hello Maso, I've been thinking about how inadequate of a ruler you are."
"What do you mean Constantino? I've doubled our land and led a war against the Pope!"
"But you're getting old Maso, it's time you were replaced"
"What do you mean I've only ruled for 5 years!"
"Enough talk Maso"
At this point Constantino drew a bright green dagger from the inside of his sky-blue robe, "Do you know why this dagger's green Maso?"
"What are you doing Constantino, I thought you said you weren't going to kill me"
"It's green because it's lined with the poisonous Hemlock, the madness herb, goodbye Maso."
Constantino limped towards Maso and drove the poisoned dagger through his heart, Maso didn't fight back, he was in shock from Constantino's treachery. Constantino picked up the gold ringlet of Tuscany and put it on his head, it went well with his sky-blue robe he thought, he let out a heartless laugh and limped out the tent.

He was now Prince Constantino, and every good prince has a good portrait done of them, and that was his first act as prince.

~Prince Constantino de Campofregoso~

 

[Webstantine]

Wait? Doesnt Tuscany start with a core on one of milans provinces?

Yes, on Pisa, it's best to wait for Siena or Pisa to form before claiming it though. Good to see YOU here ATB, My gameplay is nothing compared to yours
Also in this new chapter you can seee my attempt to spice up the elections.

I haven't checked if the new patch has messed anything up yep but I doubt it.

 

[Grundius]

Funny history so far. I would just annex Rome. You can burn 8 infamy easy enough. Bad luck with Mantua taking Romagna and Modena, those are righteously Tuscan provinces!

 

[Webstantine]

I would just annex Rome. You can burn 8 infamy easy enough.

It's not the infamy I'm worried about, when Rome is annexed it's different from other provinces. It spawns huge stacks of rebels and has an event asking for its release that gives you tons of bad things, I'm actually waiting for Naples to stop warring with The Pope so that I can vassalise it.

 

[Grundius]

It's not the infamy I'm worried about, when Rome is annexed it's different from other provinces. It spawns huge stacks of rebels and has an event asking for its release that gives you tons of bad things, I'm actually waiting for Naples to stop warring with The Pope so that I can vassalise it.

Tons of rebels maybe, but the pope will not be asking for it release when he no longer exists on the map if I am not mistaken. Nonetheless, the rebels alone could be a good reason.

 

[aniuby]

Hmm ... I'm liking this. Shades of Fyregecko's InTveresting Times, right? Idiosyncratic rulers in a vague dialogue/gameplay style that each come to a sticky end, with illustrations to boot, and an action-packed choice of nation. Very intriguing indeed. Some dates in your text would be helpful, though.

I really like the perpetually mischievous grin and bloodstained weapons on both of your rulers thus far. Can we expect to see a comic/action scene sometime soon?

Gameplay-wise, which candidates are you aiming to elect as Prince? I think you're choosing the diplomatic candidate, but I can't be sure. And are you following any pattern as to how long each leader will sit on the throne - are they going to serve set terms, or will they serve as long as they are useful? And could I ask what Maso degli Albizzi's stats were?

 

[Webstantine]

When the Pope is wiped off the map he moves to an archbishopric somewhere else in Europe and that country turns into The Papal State, And he still asks for Rome, I'm going to try annexing it and see what happens.

 

[Webstantine]

M3d: Actually it is possible for me to gain a navy! I start with a core on Pisa, I would reclaim it but Siena for some reason has an 8,000 man army. And expanding north just requires some planning and luck, as you'll see now!

Chapter 3 - A Man, A Plan, Milan

Constantino sat in his new study drawing up a map of how the power was distributed through out Italy, he wanted to see what kind of mess that fool Maso had left him in, the results were worse than he feared:

His little Tuscany was stuck between the four-province behemoths of Mantua and Naples, and Siena had an insane army for a two-province minor. Any of the bordering countries could wipe him out easily, had to expand somewhere! Suddenly Melsass walked into the room, "Hello Constantine, I have some news for you, murderer."
"It's Constantino, what's the news?"
"The Pope has excommunicated the King of Milan, here's the note, get a paper-cut."

"What do you want me to do about it? Milan's to strong even if they're excommunicated."
"Oh I was just telling you! Funny how your mind sprang to war isn't it Constantine."
"Our country's in a bad place Melanie, we need to expand somewhere."
"How about the Pope, disgracing old men doesn't seem below you."
"Great idea! Vassalise the Pope at once Melanie, then get eaten by a bear."
"I'll skip the second part, but I'll go and bully an old man for you then."
"Good boy"

Melsass strutted out the room making sure to show how operational his legs were. Oh how spiteful can that German be, one day we'll conquer Alsace just to show him

"OH, AUSTRIA AND MANTUA ARE WAR WITH MILAN AT THE MOMENT IF YOU WANT TO LEECH OF THEIR WORK" shouted a voice from down the hallway.
"WILL DO MELANIE, TOP OF MY PRIORITY LIST IN FACT WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED WITH THE POPE TELL MILAN WE ATTACK NOW"

And with a swish of sky-blue Constantino left to ready the army.

Melsass entered Constantino's tent hold a map, "This was given to us by a Mantuan diplomat, apparently they made peace with Milan!"
"Oh, Mantua hasn't grown bigger has it?"
"No, here look at the map."

"Oh dear."
"Ha, what do you mean by that Constantine, it's easier for you to destroy now."
"Yes, but now Modena and Ferrara are going to help Milan out against us."
"Well on the bright side there's a higher chance you'll be killed by angry Italians!"
"Well tell the Pope to take care of Ferrara, I'll take Modena and Milan's port of Parma"
"As you wish "Sir"."
"Good boy Melanie"
And with that Melsass ran out the room with Constantino's cane, really mature, Melsass.

"Modena, Ferrara, conquered."
"Why are you speaking like that Melanie?"
"..."
"Okay, so I'm being given the silent treatment."
"..."
"Go and tell Modena and Ferrara that they are now my vassals, please."
"..."
"Oh good, you're being a good dog, you've stopped barking."
"Bye"
And Melsass walked out the room like an obedient puppy.

This was an exciting day for Constantino, he had just received a note from Milan in response to his peace offer, today he had defeated the most powerful of the Italians, the treaty read:

How excellent, Parma, Milan's only port, Milan was still a threat, more of a threat really now that he owned one of their cores, but Constantino was a risk taker; he didn't care. Constantino started work on a new map showing Tuscany's influence, Almost full control over the middle of Italy!

That's how a real prince does things, not like Maso.

 

[unmerged(521085)]

They followed a pretty stylised red arrow. HA-larious.

This is typically my style of gameplay. I'm not good at the game (and play on easy) and I look for easy conquest.

 

[Webstantine]

Hmm ... I'm liking this. Shades of Fyregecko's InTveresting Times, right? Idiosyncratic rulers in a vague dialogue/gameplay style that each come to a sticky end, with illustrations to boot, and an action-packed choice of nation. Very intriguing indeed. Some dates in your text would be helpful, though.

I really like the perpetually mischievous grin and bloodstained weapons on both of your rulers thus far. Can we expect to see a comic/action scene sometime soon?

Gameplay-wise, which candidates are you aiming to elect as Prince? I think you're choosing the diplomatic candidate, but I can't be sure. And are you following any pattern as to how long each leader will sit on the throne - are they going to serve set terms, or will they serve as long as they are useful? And could I ask what Maso degli Albizzi's stats were?

My artwork was inspired by Fyregecko, I think it's more fun to imagine with a character you can see, good someone apprieciates them, I'll try to fit in some scenes for you, I'm not following any patterns about rulers, really it's whoever I like, Constantino is a diplomat and I like him so I might keep him for another term.