Chapter 8: Of soldiers both wooden and flesh
22 January 1233, training fields outside Nürnberg
Norbert von Hohenzollern had never been in pitched battle, yet the very thought of engaging the infidel scum who presumed to own the City of God excited him as few other things had. Norbert was given the right flank of the crusader army; 888 men strong, including some of the finest archers the realm had to offer.
The army was very oddly designed from a purely classical standpoint, but Marshal Gottfried had method to his madness. The Muslims were known to favor light horse above all else; therefore, Jakob would lead a heavy cavalry column in the center of the line. The strategic assumption was that the Muslims would be funneled into the center by the lighter troops of the left and right flank, encircling the enemy army. Norbert, for what it was worth, thought it would be a sound plan. Unfortunately, it turned out that the glorious crusaders would never even make it to Jerusalem.
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30 August 1233, Salzburg
Svein of Norway beamed as his hard work came to fruition; the Kaiser's diplomats formally agreed that Nürnberg properly had title to the Bishopric of Salzburg.
It had been a very interesting year for the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation. The Kaiser was now, if it could be believed, King of England in addition to Kaiser. England had fractured under the weight of internal rebellion, but the Kaiser promised to bring order and stability back to the British Isles. Graf Otto von Ulm formed his own faction to depose Herzog Ludwig von Bayern; he even had the gall to propose that Nürnberg join, a proposal met with the laughter and disregard it deserved.
The highlight of 1233 for most Nürnbergers was the birth of Norbert's son, named Friedrich after his father and grandfather. Friedrich II had intended to make his grandson's birth a celebration for the crusaders heading out to Jerusalem, but with Chancellor Svein's fabrication, the crusaders were ordered to return to Nürnberg in preparation for war against Salzburg. The Pope was disappointed, but understood -- the Nürnberg contingent wasn't likely to be decisive one way or the other.
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16 February 1234, Nürnberg
Friedrich II nodded to his left and right, indicating where his guards should wait for him. He entered the hovel trembling in anticipation, as he was sure to score a tremendous victory for both himself and his family.
When the crusaders got to Wien, paying homage to the Kaiser as was their duty, they disbanded and returned to their homes. Friedrich II desperately wanted to attack Salzburg right away, but his vassals had other ideas, and to calm them down, he agreed to wait for at least a couple of months. Norbert was devastated and listless, having lost his way. Jerusalem had given him purpose -- a purpose now denied him. He'd locked himself in his room in the Castle Nürnberg ever since his return in January. When his wife tried to bring their new son in to cheer him up, Norbert muttered and sent them away. Friedrich II was worried for his son.
That was why, when Marshal Gottfried recommended he try wargaming as a way to distract Friedrich from the troubles of the world and simultaneously improve his Martial skill, the Graf von Nürnberg und Passau leapt at the chance.
Friedrich II, despite the objections of his wife, eagerly threw himself into his new passion. He barely had time to send his daughter Kassandra with his sister Wulfhilde to begin her education. The moment he heard of a tournament for his glorious armies, he immediately entered it.
The guards of Friedrich II entered the poor little hovel and examined it for enemies. Satisfied no assassins were hiding under the floor board, the most powerful man in Nürnberg joined the youngsters at play.
Initially, his valiant wooden soldiers did quite poorly, but thinking fast, Friedrich II invoked the "Graf von Nürnberg Addendum", a little known codicil that immediately declared the present leader of the county the winner of the tournament.
The young boys, absolutely terrified by the enthusiastic whooping of a man in his forties, simply bowed in submission and quietly gathered their soldiers and left. One of the boys was heard to remark "I think we'll have an age limit next year."
For the Champion of Nürnberg (so Friedrich II declared himself), his thoughts turned to Bayern. Perhaps if he were Chancellor, he could use his office to convince people to join a faction of his own later on.
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27 January 1235, dungeons of Castle Nürnberg
Gebhard had wanted nothing more than to be a soldier for Salzburg. Prince-Bishop Kuno was, in his eyes, God's personal representative, and Gebhard, born into a small God-fearing family, wanted nothing more than to serve. Now, he was regretting that decision.
The hated Friedrich II von Hohenzollern had declared war on Salzburg in early 1234.
Gebhard wasted no time in joining the army; he quickly rose through the ranks and was given the right to command one of the Salzburg garrison's center, a most prestigious assignment. He'd hoped that Friedrich II's new son, Eugen, would distract him, but alas, it was not to be.
After capturing Schaumberg, which the foul interloper claimed belonged to Nürnberg as part of the County of Passau, Friedrich's army turned south to attack the garrison at Dürmberg. There, Gebhard's army was easily defeated. With no general on the right flank, Marshal Gottfried of Nürnberg charged with his massive army, while the Nürnberg center routed Gebhard's own troops, enabling the Nürnberg right and center to then turn against the Prince Bishop's personal guard, situated on Salzburg's left flank.
Gebhard, an honorable man, believed that Friedrich II would simply ransom him back to the Prince-Bishop. The Graf von Nürnberg "claimed" that Kuno didn't have enough thalers to ransom his loyal general. In any case, he was to remain in the dungeon until they worked out what to do with him. Gebhard was quietly praying for deliverance when he heard the unmistakable rattle of armor that announced the approach of his guards.
"Gebhard! Get up!"
The proud Salzburger rose with dignity. "Yes, what is it?"
The guard cleared his throat. "Since your liege has refused to pay a proper ransom to his glorious lordship, Friedrich von Hohenzollern, Graf von Nürnberg und Passau, Champion of Nürnberg by right of conquest, you have been sentenced to death for your crimes against God and the people of Nürnberg."
Gebhard was horrified. "I have never heard anything so ridiculous! I know my liege would not abandon me; these must all be horrible lies told by your swine of a G-" The Salzburger was unable to complete his tirade because he found his head and shoulders most unfortunately separated by a sword.
One of the guards turned to the other and said, "Uh, Hans, weren't we supposed to hang him tomorrow?"
"Maybe, but he was getting on my nerves. We'll just say he tried to escape."
"If you say so. What's for dinner at the guardhouse?"
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29 May 1236, Salzburg
Friedrich II's worries seemed to melt away. He found the death of Gebhard surprisingly therapeutic, and his victory over Prince-Bishop Kuno was all the sweeter.
Recognizing his superior skills both on the battlefield and in scholarship, Herzog Ludwig fulfilled Friedrich's dream by making him Chancellor of Bayern.
He produced yet another son -- Ordulf -- despite the weird attempts of Norbert's wife to throw herself at him.
The only thing which still troubled him was Norbert. He'd become more and more secluded from his family (perhaps accounting for Barbara's... enthusiasm towards her liege). With two more sons, Friedrich did the only logical thing: honor his son's wishes, appointing him the Bishop of Schaumberg after usurping the title from the now title-less Kuno. [1]
Everything was going beautifully for the Hohenzollerns; Friedrich added another county to his realm, and one which might, in the future, enable him to challenge Ludwig for the Duchy of Bayern.
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10 May 1237, Nürnberg
Chancellor Svein looked nervously at the crowd of nobles in front of him. He didn't know why this particular duty had fallen to him, but nonetheless, it was his to carry out. He unrolled the scroll and began to read:
"Dear Lords and Ladies of Nürnberg, Passau, and Salzburg,
God has shown his favor to the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation and all Christians with our glorious victory over the infidels. Jerusalem is once again in the hands of those who revere Jesus and his message to the world! Hallelujah!"
Svein muttered to himself,
No thanks to you; we never even got to Jerusalem, even after you put together a second army to attack. Then, after the crowd finished cheering, he continued.
"We are a wise and glorious people, my friends, and such a wise and glorious people deserve a wise and glorious leader. I, the Champion of Nürnberg and your humble Graf, hear your pleas for order and stability. What if something were to happen to me? Who would rule you then?"
The crowd looked aghast for a moment, with occasional cries of "May you live a thousand years!", "May God preserve you!", and "I never really thought about it." (The last one came from a couple of bored looking nobles; Svein, in his mercy, did not report this last bit to his liege.)
"I believe, firmly, that the Hohenzollern lands must remain in the possession of one person, as we have but one God and one Kaiser. We had a system for this in the days of yesteryear; why have we abandoned it? It is my will that we return to the ancient traditions of Charlemagne and the Franks; let us elect our leader, from now until forever!"
After that, Svein closed the scroll and waited for the inevitable questions. He was not long in waiting, as a particularly fat Baroness rose her hand. "Chancellor, whom may we elect?"
"Anyone."
That triggered another thoughtful silence. A second hand raised. "Who can vote?"
"All nobles of the realm holding the rank of Baron, Mayor, or Bishop, as well as Friedrich himself."
A third hand timidly went up. "The thought of thinking for myself frightens and confuses me. Can't I just vote for whomever the Graf does?"
"Well, yes, I suppose, but --"
An audible sigh of relief went through the crowd, and they dispersed. Svein shook his head in despair and went back home himself.
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[1] From a gameplay perspective, I did this to get Norbert out of the line of succession; I was trying to get around Gavelkind by getting rid of all of my other male heirs, but later decided that Elective Monarchy would work just as well.
I'll have another chapter for you this weekend, so keep an eye out.