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Or whatever a person from Sokoto is called...

This was absolutely brilliant!
 
Thank you profusely for the replies!

Juan_de_Marco - Thank you for the kind words (your bribe is en route!).

loki100 - They really are shockingly incompetent. Thankfully Sokoto's army is able to make up for their uselessness!

MrHouse - I cannot agree more, especially with regards to Bolivia! Sokoto's colour stealing, font blocking nemesis need be dealt with soon.

Vaya con Queso - You are completely correct regarding future borders with either France or the UK following any peace with Spain. I'm actually currently demanding Vasconia-Aragon from the war, which will of course give me a direct land border with France. As I said, I was merely waiting for machine guns before I attempted to war with the stronger Great Powers. The real challenge is about to begin!

Juan_de_Marco - How right you are! Although as I've explained to Vaya con Queso, I'm actively seeking a direct border with France's heartlands. The coming war should prove interesting to say the least!

Tanzhang (譚張) - Yes, the perfidious Bolivia will be dealt with as soon as possible. I've more than once attempted to march my troops through Bolivian territory, the border is impossible to make out!

I did rather wish to have N&I researched by now but being forced into the research of some industrial technology did rather ruin that plan, I'll have it soon though.

naggy - Thankfully Sokoto's newly researched machine guns are providing a good amount of friendly fire casaulties, the coming war with France should provide even more!

Fyregecko - Simply stupendous! Many thanks for taking the time to create that, it is going straight on to the front page.

aldriq - Her navy helps cause the much desired casaulties!

thunderbird2099 - A great many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is in the post!). How right you are, the world cannot afford for Sokoto to continue her great work!
 
1860 to 1871 - An Overview

Here is another overview of Sokoto after a decade filled with the liberation of various nations into the glorious Sokot Empire and much incompetence.

At last Sokoto is nearing the rank best befitting a nation which boasts such a fashionable population, so victorious and brilliant an army, a nation so cultured and artistic with many gifted poets, a nation with such a hardworking and popular government, a nation filled with so many happy, loyal citizens proud of their country.

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Yes, Sokoto is in last place. Oh wait, no, somehow she is now ranked third. For the sake of the world this is very worrying.

[I do not have a screenshot showing the 'National Comparison' screen as is usual in an overview because I am a numpty and forgot to take such a shot.]

With Sokoto's impressively inept armed forces blundering to victory after victory over the last decade the nation has grown considerably, Sokoto's population having near doubled in the last decade.

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Understandably all of these newly acquired citizens liberated into the Sokot Empire are delighted to be part of so glorious a nation. Shocking rumours that said newly acquired citizens are desperate for freedom and independence from oppressive Sokot rule quite clearly lies with no evidence to support them.

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The last decade has seen considerable expansion of the Sokot army. Not only is the army now better equipped, weaponry such as the recently developed machine guns now wielded by most brigades, the establishment of Sokoto's elite guard brigades leaves Sokoto's army a much feared, wholly ineffectual force. Uh, a wholly effective force that is. This especially true as the calibre of officer entering the army has never been lower.

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Many academics such as al-Walid and Abasama having made a successful transition from teaching and translation, where they proved hugely competent...

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...to army command, where they are proving skilled officers. Surprisingly many former teachers have stated that they feel the mayhem and carnage of warfare is far more preferrable and less stressful than the mayhem and carnage found in the average Sokot classroom.

[Note that my fleet now consists of nothing but clipper transports. I scrapped the handful of Man'o'War and frigates I had because they were proving too expensive and were completely useless in such small numbers.]

There has been great change in Sokot politics in the last decade with a number of political reforms passed which make Sokoto a more democratic and fair society.

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Despite these changes to the voting system the Conservative party remains as popular as ever, a mere 1% of votes going to a party other than the Conservatives in the last general election. This clearly showing that Sokoto's population love the great bribes handed out by the party. That is, this clearly showing that Sokoto's population love the great work completed by the party.

Sokoto's economy is prospering after a decade filled with growth. This despite a slight blip when too many expensive guard brigades were recruited which led to the near bankruptcy of the nation, huge cuts in public spending, mass unemployment and non-payment of the armed forces. Needless to say both the army's recruiting officer and the finance minister were applauded for such brilliant work.

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Now the ecnonomy is growing quickly once again, this due in no small part to Sokoto's ever fair tax system which ensures that those who can least afford it are taxed the most.

Alongside fair tax rates much of Sokoto's economic growth is a result of the continued industrialisation of the county.

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Sokoto's mud based, alcohol free 'I Can't Believe It's Not Wine' and her alcohol free 'Paint Stripper' Sokotch whisky, which is also used as paint stripper and is based upon actual traditional Scottish whisky recipes, proving unsurprisingly popular worldwide.

[This is, of course, just a small sampling of Sokoto's many factories. Wine and liquor is easily Sokoto's most profitable export. Sokoto truly is a nation of vice as she is also a top five producer of opium, tobacco, coffee and unjustified conquest.]

Despite the loss of gifted academics such as al-Walid and Abasama to the army, Sokoto has made considerable technlogical progress over the last decade.

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Sokoto's armed forces are far better equipped due to these technological advances and thankfully they are now beginning to close the gap with other Great Powers, at last coming close to rivalling them with regards to casaulties suffered.

With Sokoto selflessly protecting smaller nations the world over, not a great deal has changed in the last decade.

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Sokoto stopped the warmongering Chile from gaining any land from Argentina, Sokoto then punishing Chile for her unacceptable behaviour by taking some small bits of land from her. Both Britain and Russia have made slight additions to their Asian holdings. Perhaps most surprisingly of all, the CSA still exists, the USA having been defeated in her war against the CSA after Britain added the CSA to their sphere. Sadly large parts of Africa remain in the control of oppressive European powers, something which will hopefully be rectified soon.

Having embarked upon her noble quest to paint as much of the world a lovely shade of pink as possible, Sokoto has made considerable progress in the last decade via wholly peaceful means. All of Sokoto's gains in the last decade have been made via nations voluntarily and peacefully surrendering their land to the glorious Sokot Empire. That some nations only made this voluntary, peaceful surrender of land after Sokoto's armed forces visited said nations is a small and unimportant point.

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With no signs that the Sokot juggernaut is slowing in her conquests, the world can only watch on terrified as yet more land is doubtless painted pink in the next ten years.

Unsurprisingly due to her peaceful ways and respect for fellow nations throughout the world, Sokoto remains loved the world over.

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Prussia's success against Egypt is worrying, should they annex Egypt they should be made Sokoto's next target.
 
Fyregecko - Simply stupendous! Many thanks for taking the time to create that, it is going straight on to the front page.

Nae bother, least I could do for such a quality AAR - and thanks for the reciprocal link. Always happy to knock up (oi oi) another if there's something that would make a better frontispiece?

Sokoto's mud based, alcohol free 'I Can't Believe It's Not Wine' and her alcohol free 'Paint Stripper' Sokotch whisky, which is also used as paint stripper and is based upon actual traditional Scottish whisky recipes, proving unsurprisingly popular worldwide.

...and this is brilliant. But I didn't know that Bell's originated in Sokoto?
 
Awesome progress, and I love the recruitment poster! :D
 
This AAR requires a much larger font commisserate with its level of win. I'm really enjoying reading this - the writing style is highly entertaining. I'm absolutely baffled how you haven't been contained by a great power yet. I played a game as Mexico and ended up fighting three separate wars of containment within 15 years against Britain (and won them all), just for having double the BB limit after taking part of the CSA. Right now you're 29 times the BB limit! :rofl:
 
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Thank you profusely for the replies!

Tanzhang (譚張) - Thankfully there is very little chance of them annexing Egypt, as this update will show.

loki100 - Indeed! Or perhaps time for France to take Sokoto out. It certainly won't prove an easy war.

As for the election results, it is little surprise the Conservative party command such support, they have proven so brilliant in governing party!

Fyregecko - I don't think you could better the current frontispiece, capturing as it does Sokoto's great martial prowess and her astoundingly fashionable dress sense! Thanks once again for the cracking image.

Not only Bell's but also The Famous Grouse, which is a Scottish imitation of the far better known Sokot version, 'The Famously Soused'.

CFG9000 - Rather surprisingly, whilst her lands are very messed up the CSA do seem to have some very skilled cartographers.

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None too shabby a font size, although Britain does seem to be leading in the region. Sokoto really need hire some Confederate cartographers as a result, their own are shown to be rather lacking once again in this update!

aldriq - How right you are! Sokoto; leading the world in terms of military leaders, reputation and alcoholic drinks. Sorry, not leading, trailing.

Selzro - Thank you for the kind words (your bribe is en route!).

Marshall Daub - A great many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is in the post!). I've found the AI surprisingly reluctant to declare war upon a warmongering blaggard such as myself provided they have no direct land border with a nation over the infamy limit. Hence why on the few occasions I have bordered a nation with a decent army, Egypt and the Ottomans thus far, they have quickly punished my warring ways. It is only by carefully avoiding borders with larger nations that I've escape containment wars thus far! Great going against Britain though, she is always a hugely difficult foe! Do you have a land border with her?

Apologies for the long gap between updates (although I am sure everyone is glad of less of my dross over the last week!), work became very hectic. However, I've finally found the time to play some more of the game thus ownards!
 
Chapter Twenty Three - Sacrebleu Blob

With war against Chile and Argentina now at an end Sokoto's South American based troops are now free to take on a most cunning and perfidious foe, the colour stealing, font blocking Bolivia. The diplomats are sent forth.

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They return a few days later green faced and retching. This sickness caused by the horribly garish uniforms their Bolivian counterparts were wearing when the decleration of war was delivered. Said Bolivian uniform a shockingly disgusting pink, green, red and yellow ensemble. The diplomats can barely believe that anyone would even consider wearing so gaudy and ridiculous looking an outfit.

Thankfully Bolivian soldiers are far better dressed, wearing highly fashionable pink uniforms similar in look to those worn by Sokot troops. Thus whilst Sokoto's forces blunder around Bolivia firing at anyone in a pink uniform, usually fellow Sokot troops, the government is given some bad news.

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Mocambique has been fully colonised, the former state now a mere colony. Doubtless the people of Mocambique are disgusted with this change in status which brings with it lower taxes, lessened bureaucracy and so forth. Reluctantly the government gives the order for Zambia to be colonised, unhappy at ordering more citizens to suffer colonial life and the hardships, such as lower taxes, which said life brings.

The government is given some rather more welcome news a month later as research into 'Nationalism and Imperialism' comes to an end.

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The government is satisfied that the public now firmly support the concept of nationalism and imperialism. Nationalism promoting a love of Sokoto and all she entails, especially her brilliantly gifted government. Imperialism providing justification for constant warfare and expansion, namely the need to seek ever larger font sizes. Unsurprisingly Sokoto's public supports both of these concepts due to their great pride and love for their nation. Scurrilous rumours that said support for nationalism and imperialism was instead achieved due to intimidation and bribery on the government's part, clearly shocking lies.

Research is next begun into 'Army Decision Making' at the request of the army. The army is keen to teach both officers and troops the right decisions to take during a battle. Decisions such as it is always the best course of action to make a mindless charge at a well defended enemy held position rather than attempt to flank said position. High casaulties are always more important than victory.

Following the completion of research into 'Nationalism and Imperialism' the government make two changes.

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Firstly, permission is granted to some of Sokoto's academics to begin excavating The Valley of Kings. The government hope that the academics will make discoveries which bring prestige to Sokoto. Eygptian complaints that this excavation is little more than the organised looting of their historic artifacts could not be further from the truth. Admittedly some of these discoveries may end up in the homes of various cabinet members, or may even be sold to increase the Conservatie party's 'Bribery Fund', but this is entirely acceptable and far from mere looting.

Secondly, Sokoto's academics are ordered to focus on military and industrial matters to a far greater extent. As Sokoto already leads the world in cultural matters, her poems and fashion quite without compare, and she has an invincible navy, nearly half of all Sokot built ships now surviving their first journey, and she already dominates the field of commerce, her economy's strong support of the rich above all else proving a fair system which greatly encourages financial growth, the government feel such focus on military and industrial matters a wise decision.

This change in academic focus soon bears fruit, Sokoto's academics making a number of discoveries a few days later.

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Expansionism is discovered following Sokoto's continued rapid expansion via wholly peaceful methods. National Fraternity is discovered after the many people conquered by Sokoto join together in hating the incompetently led nation which conquered them. With many skilled, young men from both the middle class and poor gaining positions of power for the first time, Meritocracy versus Aristocracy is discovered, the rich appalled at the ridiculous promotion of peasants into positions which were once exclusively held by rich gentry. The government merely hope that this last discovery will begin swinging the balance back in favour of the aristocracy.

More good news follows this technological success a few weeks later.

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Finally cartographers the world over can rest easy. The devious colour stealing, font blocking Bolivians have finally been defeated. The world is now a much safer, gloriously pink, the right kind of pink, place.

The government is left outraged a few days later as they are informed that France is claiming all of the credit for a naval victory in which Sokoto's navy also participated.

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Such claims are clearly ridiculous, Sokoto's mighty navy brought about this victory. Her transport clippers desperate attempts to flee the battle undoubtedly instrumental in this success.

This run of good news is finally brought to a halt by the return of Sokoto's well tanned, remarkably cheerful looking geographers a month later.

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Despite being disappointed at not having found the source of the Nile, the geographers are happy to report that the source is definetly nowhere in the Caribbean. Instead they have a suspicion the source could be located somewhere in Hawaii, thus they request further funding which is happily given. Several brave government ministers selflessly volunteer to join the expedition to Hawaii also.

The government is given a baffling report mere months later.

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Whilst the bulk of the geographers set sail for Hawaii alongside numerous members of cabinet, a sole geographer quickly became quite lost in his attempts to reach Hawaii, somehow ending up in Central Africa where he stumbled accross a large lake. Quickly determing this as the actual source of the Nile, a fact which confused him considerably, it seeming impossible that the source of the Nile would actually be somewhere within Africa, he found a native and, speaking to said native loudly and slowly whilst pointing towards the lake, asked him what the lake is called. Recording the native's response, the souce of the Nile is now known as 'Just Some Lake Wait Is That A CrocodilAAAAAAARGH'.

In a startling and highly worriying development a month later, the government is forced to pass further voting reform so as to promote support of jingoism.

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The government remains disgusted at having to finally enfranchise the common rabble fully. This move will likely lead to the downfall of the nation, or far worse the downfall of the Conservative party, mere peasants quite unsuited to deciding who governs the nation. The uneducated oiks more than likely to now make ridiculous demands such as a wish for fair elections, an end to bribery, corruption and cronyism, less warfare, fairer taxes and the like.

A few months later and the government is given some good news, along with some horrifyingly bad.

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The good news is that war with Spain has finally come to an end, Sokoto expanding her holdings considerably as a result of the peace deal. The horrifyingly bad news is that the cartographers have failed to make use of these newly acquired Spanish holdings to increase Sokoto's font in the region to an acceptable size.

Far less important than matters of font size, Sokoto now has a direct land border with a true world power, France. However the government is not unduly worried by this as France is currently busy occupying Spanish held Morocco. Doubtless France will be glad to neighbour a fellow unjustified warmonger. A fellow justified liberator that is.

That Sokoto is kindly allowing France to station troops in her newly acquired territory in the Philippines, happy for said French troops to suffer attrition whilst there, is likely to only strengthen the ties between both nations.

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[I had the warscore to end this war with Spain many months before but I was putting off peace until my troops in Japan had returned. I need every last brigade in position for the coming war against France.]

Having occupied Cairo and the surrounding Giza region, Prussia have finally realised the slight problem in their plan to annex Egypt.

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They have no access to Egyptian held Kaf. The government is none too keen to grant Prussia military access either. For if Prussia was to conquer Egypt, and thus become a neighbour of Sokoto, there is a good chance she may consider the peace loving Sokoto an infamous, warmongering nation, for some reason, and seek to contain Sokoto.

Not wishing to offend Prussia with a blunt refusal, the government arranges for Sokoto's diplomats to engage in some hunting with their Prussian counterparts.

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That Prussia's diplomats are left riddled by bullets by a number of surprisingly small 'elephants' armed with rifles, said elephants looking suspiciously like men dressed in suits, is then a much regretted coincidence.

With Prussia's diplomats all wounded, and there now little chance of them conquering Egypt, the government turn their attention to other matters. The diplomats are sent forth.

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They return several weeks later looking utterly terrified. Said fear caused by their accepting a kind offer from their French counterparts to enjoy some female company after delivering the decleration of war. The diplomats left shaken when introduced to Madame Guillotine.

Despite Sokoto being at war with a true Great Power for the first time the government are surprisingly relaxed about the situation. France's standing army of nearly ninety brigades is dwarfed by the two hundred and thirty brigades Sokoto has in the field. This war should prove easy.

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Ah.

This could prove difficult.
 
nice touch with the Prussians ... always worth checking exactly who is game for a hunt before agreeing

and your font in Latin America is near perfect, beautifully aligned up the Andean spine

France ... ok they have more troops and a bigger navy ... but I bet their uniforms can't match yours?
 
Ooooh...the Dick Cheney school of diplomacy.

Keep your friends close and enemies closer...and your shotgun loaded.