In 1899 the Duchess of Argyll was a rather important person. Also known as the Princess Louise, she was the sixth child of Queen Victoria and wife of John, Marquess of Lorne - heir to the Duke of Argyll. She had served as Queen Victoria's private secretary, aided her husband in his role of Governor General of Canada, supported the burgeoning feminist movement and become a somewhat prolific sculptor and artist.
She was also 51, not yet a Duchess and bore little to no resemblance to the young lady whose photo Lucas was holding and who claimed to be the “Duchess of Argyll”
(1). Obayomi snapped his fingers
(2) sharply.
"Hey! Kid! Give that here!"
Lucas looked up from the photo which he had been staring at dumbly.
"What? This?"
Obayomi held has hand out and waggled his fingers.
"Yeah - hand it over."
Lucas sighed.
"She's beautiful isn't she? She reminds me a bit of Rina, but I just know that she would never try to convince me to try and grab a Cape Cobra's tail. She said that if you snatch it quickly enough you can immobilize the snake and pick it up without it biting you."
Obayomi blinked.
"Tell me you never tried that, fool!"
"Of course not! What do you take me for?"
"I ain't gonna answer that."
"'…cos EVERYONE knows that it's the Green Mamba that is stunned when you grab its tail - not the Cape Cobra
(3). Imagine how stupid I would have looked if I had fallen for her trick! Everyone would have been laughing at me!"
Obayomi shook his head.
"You is the dumbest kid I ever met, sucker. I’m surprised you even lived this long without catching fire or something.”
“Well, there was that time that Juri got hold of some lamp oil…”
“Enough! Now gimmee that picture."
Lucas sagged and handed it over to Obayomi who started at it, and then held it out at arm's length, squinting as he did. Then he did something that he didn't do very often.
He smiled.
Lucas almost fell off his chair in shock and glanced around in a panic. Even the two slaves looked wary. Especially when Obayomi started to laugh - a deep, booming sound that echoed around the tiny dwelling and seemed to make the walls shake
(4). He waved the photo in Lucas' direction.
"Man. Let me tell you this, little buddy. Beautiful she may be, but if you ran across this little lady when she wasn't inclined to play nice, your game of 'Catch the Cape Cobra' would seem real tame in comparison."
"So you know the Duchess of Argyll?"
Obayomi laughed again, his mirth clearly alien and unsettling to the others in the room.
"She ain't no Duchess - she's just calling herself that at the moment."
"But in the note she said..."
"She's called herself many things in the past - you get used to it. She is a spy after all
(5)."
Inwardly Lucas melted
(6).
"A spy", he breathed. "Wow."
A few moments passed as Obayomi and Lucas sat deep in thought
(7). Suddenly, Lucas sprang to his feet like an excited puppy. Obayomi scowled.
"Whatever you're about to say, fool, I don't think I want to know it."
Lucas ignored this rebuff.
"When are we going to help her?"
"WE?"
"Yeah - we. She sounds like she's in a whole world of trouble and what with you being so old and all I thought..."
Obayomi growled - a noise like a bear gargling gravel.
"I'll say one thing about you, boy - you ain't got a healthy sense of self-preservation. Hell, you ain't got no sense of self preservation!"
Lucas tsked his finger at him.
"Aunt Beru taught me never to use double negatives. In fact..."
He paused and put his hands to his mouth in and expression of surprise that was probably far more camp than he had intended.
"Oh gosh! Oh no! I'm in SOOOOO much trouble!"
Before Obayomi could reply Lucas dashed to the door.
"I was meant to get the slaves out working on the farm - I've been gone for hours! Uncle Owen's going to be SO pissed off at me! It was great meeting you, I'll be back later!"
Obayomi went to speak but was cut off by Lucas slamming the door shut, and the sound of his hurried footsteps retreating from the hut. There was a moment of silence before Obayomi turned to Teeto and Seepo, a look of wry amusement playing on his face.
"How's that fool expecting you to be out working in the fields when you're sitting here?"
Seepo nodded.
"Master Lucas is under a lot of stress at the moment, sir. I expect he will be back for us shortly."
Obayomi nodded.
"Well, you boys are free to go if you want - I ain't keepin' no slaves!"
Teeto offered a low whistle and snickered. Obayomi cocked his head to one side.
"What's that, little brother?"
"I believe, sir" Seepo interjected, "that Teeto says he would rather not venture outside with all the Mensevanzand nearby. He prefers to wait for Master Lucas to return."
Obayomi's eyes boggled.
"What? You'd rather wait for him to lead you back to a life of slavery than risk a bid for freedom?"
Teeto shook his head and clicked loudly and slowly before giggling to himself. Seepo looked shocked.
"Really Teeto! I'm so sorry, sir. He can be most unkind. He says that he'd rather wait for Master Lucas because if the Mensevanzand started chasing us he needn't worry about being caught as he knows that he can outrun Master Lucas."
Obayomi chuckled.
"Very funny, little man."
He frowned.
"However, I’m kinda hopin’ your boy does come back for you. I'm gonna need some help - and I think that fool Lucas might be the only one I could rely on. He's a moron who's dumber than dumb stacked on stupid, but I think at this moment in time he's one of the few people who wouldn't betray me."
Slowly he stroked his chin and his frown deepened.
"Man – these odds ain’t lookin’ good."
~~~
1. Other than the fact that she was a woman and sounded abnormally posh when she spoke.
2. Now free of orange juice and able to click imposingly once again. He had been busy wiping them on a dirty rag whilst Seepo had been speaking.
3. In the UK we are often heard to moan about our climate. Apparently it's too cold and we never get enough sunlight. However, when you reads about the sort of wildlife that live in warmer climes, you can't help but be grateful that the most dangerous wild animal that we have to contend with in our Green and Pleasant Land is the common adder; a snake so docile that there have only been 14 known fatalities caused by it. In fact, in the UK it is a criminal offence to harm an adder, making it the only snake ever to require police protection.
4. Bad guys everywhere - seriously, unhinged, off-the-chain, mental bad guys - try to cultivate laughs like this. Were it not for the fact that Obayomi's laugh was clearly one of amusement Lucas would have been expecting him to say something like "And now gaze on in fear as I demonstrate the awesome, destructive power of my secret weapon!", before shaking the room with more maniacal laughter.
5. The myth of female spies being sexy and gorgeous is continually perpetuated in fiction. In reality, it makes no sense to have a gaggle of stunning, seductive, leggy Mata Haris in the employee of national espionage services. If MI6 sent one of these lovelies over to Russia, you can be sure that word of her would spread amongst Moscow's militia in next to no time. They might not know her true vocation, but they'd probably spend a lot of their time following her and trying to get a glimpse of "that hot defense attaché from the British embassy". The truly wise spy-master would take the time to people his secret service with a horde of slightly dumpy, mousey, plain-Janes who have all the personal presence of rather shy moths.
6. He came from a community where you were considered glamorous if you owned more than three different pairs of shoes and had all your own teeth.
7. They were NOT sharing the same thoughts. Obayomi was concentrating on the contents of Teeto's letter and what it meant for him and the war, whilst Lucas was having adolescent fantasies about mysterious, female spies. Some of them involved being captured and interrogated. If you want a more graphic account there's this wonderful invention called 'the internet' - a quick search on it will doubtlessly throw up many videos that would roughly approximate what was soiling Lucas' mind at this moment.