Seepo couldn't recall a time when he had felt as light headed as he did at the moment. Lying on his back, looking up at a cerulean blue sky, he felt completely and utterly at peace. The sun was bright but it gave off none of its customary oppressive heat, and instead seemed content to simply bathe the area in warm, golden light. Birds nesting in trees called to each other, and the undergrowth rustled as small creatures scampered too and fro.
"This is nice", thought Seepo
(1).
No sooner had this thought entered his head than it was replaced with the realisation that he was hovering in midair
(2). Unsurprisingly enough, this feeling was swiftly overwhelmed with another sensation
(3) and Seepo spent the next couple of seconds flapping his arms frantically until he had happily ascertained that he wasn't going to plummet to a messy death on the ground below.
"Phew", thought Seepo
(4).
Slowly, lazily, and with no small amount of vertigo tearing at his nerves, Seepo managed to spin around to get a better view of his surroundings. It took a couple of seconds for him to fully appreciate it, but this place was like nowhere he'd ever been before. Tall, thick-trunked trees that were covered in short, needle-like leaves jabbed proudly towards the sky, while the ground was covered in a dense mix of lush green vegetation, tangled roots and rocks.
"This is weird", thought Seepo
(5).
A sudden shout from behind and below startled him. He wiggled and wriggled until he was in a position to see what was going on. Below him a small group of men in strange clothing were lying sprawled on the ground in the middle of a small, brown hedgerow. Although there was barely a breeze in the air the hedge seemed to be bristling violently. With a thought, Seepo descended down through the trees towards the ground. As he got closer he noticed that what he first assumed to be a hedge was in fact a collection of small bears, all of which looked rather agitated
(6) and most of which appeared to be clutching crude melee weapons which they were waving in a vaguely threateningly manner at the men that they were surrounding.
"I must be dreaming", thought Seepo.
As if to confirm this, a strange sound - half roar, half speech - came from amidst the beleaguered men. What Seepo had first assumed to be a large rug
(7) got to its feet and started gesticulating angrily with a weapon and shouting in its half-roar-half-speech voice at the small army of bears. Seemingly unperturbed, the bears hooted back angrily and jabbed their weapons in the walking carpet's direction while one of the men tried to get it to calm down. It duly did, but not before several of the bears hauled the weapon from its grasp.
"...", thought Seepo.
It was then that his eye was caught by the sun glinting off something metallic that lay on the ground. Just behind the quivering wall of irate fur another man was sprawled. Except, unlike the other men who were dressed in camouflaged battle fatigues, this man appeared to be dressed in a suit made of solid gold. What is more, something about this figure called to Seepo. Something about it seemed very familiar.
Comforting.
Inviting.
"Oh MY!", thought Seepo as his floating formed rushed towards the gold figure and, with an almost soundless rush of air Seepo merged with it
(8) and sat bolt upright. Before he had time to adjust to his surroundings he became acutely aware of two dozen beady little bear eyes staring at him in awe. One by one they dropped their weapons and prostrated themselves before him, chanting something that Seepo didn't understand.
"I'm being worshipped by animate teddy bears", thought Seepo, a thought it’s safe to say that he had never had before.
"...po? Hey! Do you understand anything they’re saying?"
Seepo turned his head in the direction of the soldiers who were trying to get his attention. One of them, a weedy, serious-looking kid with blonde hair
(9) was gesticulating in his direction.
"Do you understand anything they're saying?"
"They're talking, stone age teddy bears - what the hell do you think genius?", thought Seepo. However, being one of life's passive aggressive he simply smiled and said "Oh yes!"
"Well?" said another of the men - this one taller and older than the last
(10). "What are you telling them?"
Seepo glanced down at the genuflecting bears and back at the men.
"Well...I could be mistaken. But... I do believe they think I am some sort of god."
The walking carpet let out a braying sound that could have been laughter while the two soldiers looked at each other with "What the hell?" looks. The taller one quickly recovered though and waved his hand in Seepo's direction.
"Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?"
"You're damn right!", thought Seepo. "Just wait until you see me wielding my divine influence! A god! For once I'm being taken seriously. I've got power! No more 'Seepo do this, Seepo do that!' No more Mr Passive Aggressive! Oh no. This is the turning point! A new me! This is brilliant! This is fantastic! This is without a doubt the best dream I've ever had."
He paused.
"Ah", thought Seepo. "Reality calling."
He felt himself slowly floating upwards and away from the metal figure who was shaking his head in confusion and busy explaining to the confused soldiers that it wouldn't be proper for him to impersonate a deity. The trees started to slowly fade away and the sun began to grow brighter and hotter. From far away he could hear a voice - a whiny, frightened, concerned voice that could only belong to one person.
~~~
Lucas shook Seepo again. “Hey! Wake up!”
As Seepo groaned Lucas turned to his companions, the worry etched across his face slowly melting away.
"I think he's coming round!"
With another groan Seepo raised himself into a sitting position and rubbed his temples. It felt like a crash of rhinos was marauding through his skull.
"A deity", he groaned. "I could have been a deity."
A large figure loomed over him and scowled.
"Well, haul your holy punk-ass off the ground and let’s get moving. Those Mensevanzand will be back soon, and in greater numbers. Unless of course you're willing to put some faith in your divine powers to protect yourself from their clubs and rifles? No - well let's get moving, man."
Seepo rubbed his head again.
"Reality calling indeed."
He sighed.
"Let's go."
~~~
1. Given that guns, fires, explosions, running away REALLY fast, abduction and slavery had recently loomed so prominently in Seepo's everyday life, the scene that he was currently enjoying could have featured screaming gales, lashing rain and a blasted wasteland devoid of life and STILL be considered "nice".
2. Those of you who "enjoy a drink or two" have probably experienced something similar upon returning home from the pub and lying down on your bed. Depending on how much you've imbibed this sensation can either be strangely pleasant or result in a really quick dash to the bathroom for some painful regurgitation fun.
3. Blistering, heart-stopping terror. Welcome back old friend.
4. Seepo was, if nothing, a master of understatement.
5. See what I mean?
6. ...as much as it’s possible to read the expression on the face a three foot, ursine primitive.
7. Thinking about it later on Seepo was unable to work out why – even in a dream - he would have believed a military unit would have carried a rug as part of standard issue equipment. Saying that, he had never considered it possible for bears to carry spears but clearly his subconscious had no problem with ignoring the importance of opposable thumbs, so in comparison haberdashery as military gear seemed quite sane.
8. This is scarier than it sounds. Imagine, right now, that there could be demons zipping around through the air, flying into people's bodies, and possessing them without making so much as a peep. It could be happening right now. It might have even happened to you. Are you still reading this or has your head rotated 360 degrees and started spewing pea soup everywhere? If it has, you're possessed and should probably call a priest. Aren't I helpful. You're welcome.
9. A really BAD blonde haircut. While he'd probably be considered a poster boy for the Third Reich, in civilised society this kid would be roundly mocked for having such shocking hair.
10. ..and ruggedly handsome in a scruffy sort of way.