Tales from our Faarthers
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Very nice update. However, what the...Harry actually snared someone for once? I get a premonition that things are about to go very, very badly...
glad you're enjoying it, aye they get everywhere. The screen for 'my relatives' in the ledger is huge and they've got to most of Europe. If one is called Mstislav, don't let him near a baggage train/QUOTE]
:rofl: where is that in the ledger?
Blind Fury, that 1989 gem starring a slumming Rutger Hauer?!? Bless you for that reference!
Caught up and thoroughly in awe at the utter implosion of Russia. That was something else...
Looks like Harry's run out of luck in the management department, ironically just as he's bagged two additions for Hell in a row. Fitting for his style, though, that even when things are looking up for him, there's something to make sure it all ends in tears.
a quick thank you
Just to thank everyone who voted for this AAR in the recent round of awards ... that it picked up votes in 3/4 categories probably reflects the extent to which this is actually a conventional game play AAR wrapped in a lot of digressions ... so next time I intend to convince at least 1 person to vote for me in the history book section then I have 4/4 ....
Just to thank everyone who voted for this AAR in the recent round of awards ... that it picked up votes in 3/4 categories probably reflects the extent to which this is actually a conventional game play AAR wrapped in a lot of digressions ... so next time I intend to convince at least 1 person to vote for me in the history book section
then I have 4/4 ....
ah the critical difference is I've just written a 100 page report and probably won't earn what he gets for a sentence of utter tosh - there's some sort of message there
Good to know there is still space in hell.
pah, you have too little faith in Harry, he knows what he's doing (its just he doesn't know how to do it)
Its one of the screens under characters - my dynasty and it lists (I think) everyone who is a blood relative, can be quite a hoot to spot the more outlandish end points
Blind Fury, that 1989 gem starring a slumming Rutger Hauer?!? Bless you for that reference!
Caught up and thoroughly in awe at the utter implosion of Russia. That was something else...
Looks like Harry's run out of luck in the management department, ironically just as he's bagged two additions for Hell in a row. Fitting for his style, though, that even when things are looking up for him, there's something to make sure it all ends in tears.
It was indeed some collapse, but as you'll see Russia will arise from the ashes once I get my titles back and a bit of prestige - as long as you keep (or your family regains) the main titles you do get a steady trickle of returning vassals
it also helps to finally have a king who outlives your average fruit fly
Vseslav, 1306-1310, kids, families and wars
Scene 1: The Nail and Tail Bar
Harry is sipping vodka [1] with Gabi, Perun and a few of his cronies, expanding on his version of the attributes needed to be the Prince of Darkness
You see this demonic thing, it all comes down to subtlety, you have to decide early on what to do, if you have natural ability its all so easy, I mean look at this one, so easy to decide how to handle him
Pompous little so and so chaste, modest, priest … I mean, obviously not one for us
Perun perks up
He maybe chaste but look at all those kids
Pah, should add, he’s a bit hypocritical
But lets keep quiet, I really don’t want this one
Scene 2: Astarte’s Tower in Dis
A waitress-demon passes on Harry’s latest bon-mot
He said what? There was I, stuck in that damn tower in Beloozero, inciting and inciting [2]
That man is impossible
Scene 3: The nail and tail
Must say we did a good job on the kids
Its gonna be fun when that lot grow up
But Harry, given how religious he was, why did he abandon his bishop?
Oh well at the start they were such mates
And then … well then Fedor … well he claimed he only went back to the baggage train for his spare crucifix, didn't take that much convincing to be honest
Naturally he’s not the only careless general:
But once the war with Bjarmia went in his favour
So he ended up with
The others look a bit dubious, Harry’s version of a successful persecution doesn’t seem to quite match reality
What are you lot looking at? Ah no, you just don’t understand, vassals mean?
Prizes?[3]
No disloyalty
Like this little gem over in the East, a right little b….
And then you see he gets so wrapped up in his family stuff
And of course, when he wasn’t paying attention
[1] Quite prepared to do product placements in return for sponsorship
[2] older readers may remember that it was from this castle that she rendered Ivan legless for the rest of his reign
[3] A reference that will make no sense to anyone who doesn't remember 'Humph'
So is the Rus Kingdom on its way back up? Has Harry convinced anyone? If vassals aren't prizes, what are the use of points?
Harry is sipping vodka [1] with Gabi, Perun and a few of his cronies, expanding on his version of the attributes needed to be the Prince of Darkness
You see this demonic thing, it all comes down to subtlety, you have to decide early on what to do, if you have natural ability its all so easy, I mean look at this one, so easy to decide how to handle him
Pompous little so and so chaste, modest, priest … I mean, obviously not one for us
Perun perks up
He maybe chaste but look at all those kids
Pah, should add, he’s a bit hypocritical
But lets keep quiet, I really don’t want this one
Scene 2: Astarte’s Tower in Dis
A waitress-demon passes on Harry’s latest bon-mot
He said what? There was I, stuck in that damn tower in Beloozero, inciting and inciting [2]
That man is impossible
Scene 3: The nail and tail
Must say we did a good job on the kids
Its gonna be fun when that lot grow up
But Harry, given how religious he was, why did he abandon his bishop?
Oh well at the start they were such mates
And then … well then Fedor … well he claimed he only went back to the baggage train for his spare crucifix, didn't take that much convincing to be honest
Naturally he’s not the only careless general:
But once the war with Bjarmia went in his favour
So he ended up with
The others look a bit dubious, Harry’s version of a successful persecution doesn’t seem to quite match reality
What are you lot looking at? Ah no, you just don’t understand, vassals mean?
Prizes?[3]
No disloyalty
Like this little gem over in the East, a right little b….
And then you see he gets so wrapped up in his family stuff
And of course, when he wasn’t paying attention
[1] Quite prepared to do product placements in return for sponsorship
[2] older readers may remember that it was from this castle that she rendered Ivan legless for the rest of his reign
[3] A reference that will make no sense to anyone who doesn't remember 'Humph'
So is the Rus Kingdom on its way back up? Has Harry convinced anyone? If vassals aren't prizes, what are the use of points?
A spectacular fall for the Kingdom of Russia...and a seemingly spectacular rise once more (fuelled, of course, by many marshalls losing numerous limbs and a great many heroic baggage raids!)! Excellent stuff.
The lesson of Dan Brown making millions with drivel is an old one: life ain't fair.
That is an impressive rebound, after the near-total implosion. Life is not dull in Russia. Short, brutal and nasty, yes, but not dull.
I'm a little puzzled by Harry's rejection of Vseslav. He's a hypocrit, a liar, and isn't one of Harry's honorifics 'Prince of Lies'? Oh well, I can't see Harry's method to his madness, nor do I feel confident that he'll succeed, but at least he's content with his lot and that counts for something, right?
That is an impressive rebound, after the near-total implosion. Life is not dull in Russia. Short, brutal and nasty, yes, but not dull.
I'm a little puzzled by Harry's rejection of Vseslav. He's a hypocrit, a liar, and isn't one of Harry's honorifics 'Prince of Lies'? Oh well, I can't see Harry's method to his madness, nor do I feel confident that he'll succeed, but at least he's content with his lot and that counts for something, right?
Going back one update:
I think that was a bit harsh on Mikula. He only killed one nephew (and he wasn't even a very good one). He should have just planned ahead and put together a team of crack theologians to develop a just war-style defence for family assasination.
Note: He needed a team of crack theologians, not the A-Team in theological mode (which wasn't realy their greatest strength)
I think that was a bit harsh on Mikula. He only killed one nephew (and he wasn't even a very good one). He should have just planned ahead and put together a team of crack theologians to develop a just war-style defence for family assasination.
Note: He needed a team of crack theologians, not the A-Team in theological mode (which wasn't realy their greatest strength)
Aye, easy come easy go, seems that CK's mechanisms encourage this sort of expand-contract around a defined core. The main reason for the return to some sort of power was attracting back previous vassals, so the key seems to be to keep your larger titles if you can
well there are a lot of them running amok in the Middle East and Asia Minor at the moment, I'm hoping the Golden Horde has given up. If not it could be quite handy, last time the Kingdom expanded so much was at the expense of picking up provinces from them.
I'm a little puzzled by Harry's rejection of Vseslav. He's a hypocrit, a liar, and isn't one of Harry's honorifics 'Prince of Lies'? Oh well, I can't see Harry's method to his madness, nor do I feel confident that he'll succeed, but at least he's content with his lot and that counts for something, right?
Mikula was also a full party to the 'lets kill everyone' events during Roman's reign, so his hit list was a bit larger. But yes you're probably right, given this is medieval Russia why should murdering your nephew get you permanently damned? Of course that maybe why Harry has got a bit less keen ... one easy claim and he's more interested in hanging out with his demonic chums than actually doing the tempting/luring/active evil stuff.
Now the next update is a bit heavy on the losses ... it involves, and look away if you're squeemish, a war in Poland ... and we all know what happens to the Rus nobility when asked to fight there (as a reminder).
Vseslav 1310-1312, A German invasion of Russia
Scene 1: The Clerks office.
The two clerks are sorting and collating papers.
How are we doing
Ok, almost got the next file made up for the Court, just a bit of domestic stuff
one more child … I thought he was meant to be chaste?
and here's a marriage
Are we not a team?
No
Oh
Oh, oh oh
Are you ok?
No
Look at this
Yes?
Well whats between Bohemia and Russia?
Poland
Oh
Yes Oh
Ukko? Great idea
Calls out into the corridor
Heh Ukko are you doing anything at the moment?
A rather depressed voice is heard:
No just waiting for someone to take notice of me
Well we have, do you fancy sorting out a file for us, you know neatly sorting out all the injured marshalls … that sort of thing?
Might as well, I’ve got most of eternity after all (in a depressed voice that would have stopped Marvin in his tracks[1])
Wanders off with file
Scene 2: Ukko is chained to his bench sorting out the files
Muttering to himself as he works
Well, they do start early in Germany don't they
strange they told me this war went badly for a while
ah, the traditional disloyal vassal, good to see that some things never change
ouch, nasty
maybe he was distracted?
my this is impressive
so brutish these Germans, we should really try to keep them out of Russia
good to see our heroic Russians hurling them back with no thought for their own safety
they should take some care though
No wonder the Germans gave up:
not sure why this is in my file? ... oh its nice to see that Vseslav has the traditional bastard too
Calls out to the clerks
Ok lads, finished
Scene 3: The Nail and Tail Bar
Harry is in a relaxed mood
I tell you there are times you just leave them alone, its amazing what these Rurikovichs can do without any external intervention
[1] - You all know who Marvin is?
is there anybody left uninjured in the Rus Nobility? Has Germany learnt its lesson? What might happen if Harry actually did his job?
The two clerks are sorting and collating papers.
How are we doing
Ok, almost got the next file made up for the Court, just a bit of domestic stuff
one more child … I thought he was meant to be chaste?
and here's a marriage
Are we not a team?
No
Oh
Oh, oh oh
Are you ok?
No
Look at this
Yes?
Well whats between Bohemia and Russia?
Poland
Oh
Yes Oh
Ukko? Great idea
Calls out into the corridor
Heh Ukko are you doing anything at the moment?
A rather depressed voice is heard:
No just waiting for someone to take notice of me
Well we have, do you fancy sorting out a file for us, you know neatly sorting out all the injured marshalls … that sort of thing?
Might as well, I’ve got most of eternity after all (in a depressed voice that would have stopped Marvin in his tracks[1])
Wanders off with file
Scene 2: Ukko is chained to his bench sorting out the files
Muttering to himself as he works
Well, they do start early in Germany don't they
strange they told me this war went badly for a while
ah, the traditional disloyal vassal, good to see that some things never change
ouch, nasty
maybe he was distracted?
my this is impressive
so brutish these Germans, we should really try to keep them out of Russia
good to see our heroic Russians hurling them back with no thought for their own safety
they should take some care though
No wonder the Germans gave up:
not sure why this is in my file? ... oh its nice to see that Vseslav has the traditional bastard too
Calls out to the clerks
Ok lads, finished
Scene 3: The Nail and Tail Bar
Harry is in a relaxed mood
I tell you there are times you just leave them alone, its amazing what these Rurikovichs can do without any external intervention
[1] - You all know who Marvin is?
is there anybody left uninjured in the Rus Nobility? Has Germany learnt its lesson? What might happen if Harry actually did his job?
It is a shame you cannot kill disloyal former vassals after you conquer them. They don't deserve more.
If they rejoin the Rurikovich Empire, they can be easily killed; simply declare war on someone and raise the regiments your disloyal vassal has. He'll end up dead, alongside half a dozen other marshals within mere minutes of the first battle!
A very nice update, and I am very glad to see the link to your HoI3 AAR, as I never venture on to that board otherwise (due to the fact that I bought HoI3 as soon as it was released and was reduced to fits of anger with its bugged and horrendously unplayable state upon release). Needless to say I'll be checking it out forthwith!
I assume you refer to Marvin the Paranoid Android, but a quick troll through Wikipedia gives alternatives such as Marvin the Martian and Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse...
Nice to see Ukko make another appearance - a position in the clerical temporary office pool seems a fitting afterlife for him.
I must say that the amount of ill that befalls your commanders is always awe-inspiring. That poor Ivan suffered THREE injuries in one campaign! I don't know how the man still managed to hobble into battle, but the sight of him coming back for more ought to be enough to scare off the most ferocious attackers.
Nice to see Ukko make another appearance - a position in the clerical temporary office pool seems a fitting afterlife for him.
I must say that the amount of ill that befalls your commanders is always awe-inspiring. That poor Ivan suffered THREE injuries in one campaign! I don't know how the man still managed to hobble into battle, but the sight of him coming back for more ought to be enough to scare off the most ferocious attackers.
well as Morningsider puts it, best solution to a disloyal vassal is merely to call up their regiments and watch them slaughter themselves
I assume you refer to Marvin the Paranoid Android, but a quick troll through Wikipedia gives alternatives such as Marvin the Martian and Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse...
Nice to see Ukko make another appearance - a position in the clerical temporary office pool seems a fitting afterlife for him.
I must say that the amount of ill that befalls your commanders is always awe-inspiring. That poor Ivan suffered THREE injuries in one campaign! I don't know how the man still managed to hobble into battle, but the sight of him coming back for more ought to be enough to scare off the most ferocious attackers.
aye I did think that Ivan was being really very careless after a while, obviously after the first cut the poor man lost the will to live ... but couldn't quite manage to get himself killed either
update later today hopefully, more or less written but its one I keep on changing my mind over, a trip to the wild west of Paisley (a town where so few shops are open, they've started painting the windows to make it look like there's a real shop there), should help me decide how to put it together.
I do so hope with CK2 they don't give in to all the various desires to complicate the game. One of its delights (to me) is all the stuff around trade, innovations etc you can just ignore and slip into the delicious madness of the events & your family's less sociable traits. Having said that, its def good to see it on the way.