When the Hell did RNG become so sadistic?

[Rojobow14]

Good lord! I've been away from the game for a while, and I'm trying to do a modless Byzantine ironman campaign, starting as a Count.

This. Is. Hell.

I'v been trying for like three days now, and none of my campaigns on the 1066 start have even made it to 1100 yet.

One character just randomly dropped dead at 26 years old of "poor health" without having any illnesses.

One game ended because my last heir spontaneously developed rabies and died, and then my character got stabbed in the face fighting one of his liege's wars less than a year later.

One game ended because the literal grim reaper showed up five years in and killed me.

One ended because my liege randomly decided to revoke my title less than a decade in with no provocation.

My last game (the only one so far where I actually managed to make it to Duke) ended because my character simply

REFUSED.

TO.

BREED.

Neither he nor his spouse had the "chaste" trait, he and his wife liked one another, and I even let him stay on "family" focus for more than a decade. Regardless, he had one daughter, and that was it. He finally caught cancer in his 40s and keeled over dead. Game over. Almost 30 years married, and the guy simply refused to ever have sex, apparently.

What the fuck!?! Why is that a thing???

Its like the RNG here is just rigged against you from the start.

You summarized the beauty and agony of Iron Man up perfectly.
I just had a Greek playthrough I thought for sure I was going to go the distance with. I went from lodge champion-new found kingdom to landless-heirless prisoner to pagan invasion in just 3 generations.

Here's my retort. There are 2 main ways to play this game that cater to the difference in taste.
1. Masochistic IronMan
2. Roleplay redo mode.

I've delved deep into both but finding myself only really wanting to play Iron Man for the very reason that it's just unfairly hard at times. You do get totally bent over and screwed, and it takes incredible luck to make it into late game.

But let's take real life as an example. How many people around you do you know who would be currently dead without modern medicine? Personally I know ALOT, including myself. I would have died at 13 and I have been extremely healthy and active my whole life. Now let's add medival warfare and intrigue of court in the middle ages.

I'm not saying I dont get frustrated! I DO
But afterward it's that frustration that makes me want to play just one more.

 

[gathomas88]

Same goddamn thing *AGAIN*!!

My count's going on 30, and he's had the "groom an heir" ambition and "family" focus on for about a decade.

One daughter... That's it. And he just very nearly died of flu. Not liking my chances here.

Dude! What in the absolute fuck is going on with this? This is before birth control. Historically, most noble families, unless there was something wrong, were popping out children almost yearly.

There is absolutely no earthly reason for "heir droughts" like these.

 

[junassa]

Same goddamn thing *AGAIN*!!

My count's going on 30, and he's had the "groom an heir" ambition and "family" focus on for about a decade.

One daughter... That's it. And he just very nearly died of flu. Not liking my chances here.

Dude! What in the absolute fuck is going on with this? This is before birth control. Historically, most noble families, unless there was something wrong, were popping out children almost yearly.

There is absolutely no earthly reason for "heir droughts" like these.

I really don't know; I guess there's a hidden fertility rate for some characters.

If you're really worried/desperate switch from family to seduction and get as many lovers as possible.

 

[junassa]

Bleh trying being me in my last game.

Tried to do a hellenic restoration; had burned down most of Italy and the byzantine empire.

Measles, camp fever, and consumption had been sitting in outbreak in sicily for about 20 years, all 3 at once. My heir finally got sick and died, and as my ruler was getting old, decided to check what issues the new heir would give me (they were low in intrigue, turns out didnt matter)

Every single last landed and unlanded dynasty member had cancer WITH the severe/bedridden illness modifier

56 landed dynasty members, roughly 40 something unlanded, all with bedridden level cancer, at the same time.

I think I would have punched a hole in my monitor at that point wow.

 

[gathomas88]

I really don't know; I guess there's a hidden fertility rate for some characters.

If you're really worried/desperate switch from family to seduction and get as many lovers as possible.

Just did. Hopefully *SOMETHING* happens now.

Its like events just aren't firing like they're supposed to. Been writing a book for going on 15 years now too, with no progress.

And I keep hitting the "get exorcism" button whenevr that pops up, but I don't seem to get any follow up on it.

 

[JonathanOfArc]

30 years and no kids? After 10 of wanting an heir I would have divorced her or seduced my way into a bastarc. 20 years and she would definitely get the boot.

 

[gathomas88]

30 years and no kids? After 10 of wanting an heir I would have divorced her or seduced my way into a bastarc. 20 years and she would definitely get the boot.

Yeah. Either way. This is horse shit. If the woman's infertile, the game should Goddamn tell me that, not just keep stringing me along.

The fact this has happened in two different playthroughs, in the same damn week no less, is fucking inexcusable. Something in the game is messed up.

 

[gathomas88]

The real kicker? SHE'S THE FREAKING PRINCESS OF FRANCE!!!

There *is* going to be some actual strategy in this "grand strategy game" at some point right? Not just RNG fuckery??

I might as well be playing that friggin' "Reigns" mobile game. It feels about the same. Lol

 

[Crimson Grog]

I do wonder if there is something going on in terms of events not firing. Sometimes I have constant popups, other times I sit for years on end with no pregnancy, no focus events, and no councilor events. This is especially true with the more passive focuses (business, rulership, theology).

 

[knppel]

That's why you want a lustful, greedy, ambitious woman in the house. As Orthodox divorce only costs piety (and good relation to the Patriarch), so I casted a young woman from Ireland in my latest game as Basil, who excelled in both stewardship and slut skills.
Eight sons, granted, a single one is actually Basil's, she's literally fucked half the realm, an old patriarch that died in prison, and even the smith, but hey! I won't go game over to dying out dynastically this game, I am sure, not with this start- naturally, I kept quiet about this every single time, they all have the Blood of Basil 100 % I swear

 

[vandevere]

That's why you want a lustful, greedy, ambitious woman in the house. As Orthodox divorce only costs piety (and good relation to the Patriarch), so I casted a young woman from Ireland in my latest game as Basil, who excelled in both stewardship and slut skills.
Eight sons, granted, a single one is actually Basil's, she's literally fucked half the realm, an old patriarch that died in prison, and even the smith, but hey! I won't go game over to dying out dynastically this game, I am sure, not with this start- naturally, I kept quiet about this every single time, they all have the Blood of Basil 100 % I swear

I generally play with Console open so I can see the Fertility of marriageable females. As a rule, I never marry my heirs off to any woman with less than 60% Fertility.

But that means opening the Console...

 

[gathomas88]

Ugh. It wasn't pretty, but I think I averted the crisis.

Invited a noble to court, married him matrilineally to my daughter. It cost 300 prestige, but whatever. She caught cancer almost immediately after the wedding, but she managed to pop out a son before keeling over, so I'll call that a win (manic laugh).

In other news... My obese unproductive shrew of a French Princess wife finally ate herself to death (yay!). I just remarried to some Turkic courtier related to a Khan.

She got pregnant damn near instantly. Go figure...

Hopefully it'll be a son. If not, however, I can fall back on the grandson.

Not sure how my Count even managed to live this long, tbh. Dude's twice scarred, one handed, possessed by the devil, and stressed out of his mind (can't say that I blame him). Lmao

Edit:

New child was a girl. Nevermind. Lol

 

[knppel]

I play ironman usually, no more console for me. And even if, those percentage values lie. The woman in my current game has likely somewhere around 75% (lustful and tier 3 steward), however more importantly is the combination of events- she's constantly targetted by seduction from my vassals, and even got in the smith event chain and ended up pregnant there too.

With such a combo of event fire, even a chaste woman might make half the douzen full, if she doesn't fire "resisting seduction attempts" to prevent further ones aiming and firing on her.

 

[Kumicho]

Huh, I've never actually had a game end due to my line dying out. Occasionally I'll panic and divorce my current wife in favor of someone more, uh, fertile, but I've never actually had a game-over that way. Of course, I get out of Gavelkind ASAP and start having literally as many kids as possible, as soon as possible. Lustful and ambitious wife getting pregnant when I'm on Crusade? Don't care, not hiring spies to find out whether it's mine or not. Daughters get matri-married as soon as they're adults, and distant cousins are landed to produce even more children.

 

[Burned Coffee]

To me that is awesome.

I almost lost a game because my heir got killed by his wife and I missed the fact that it was a matrilinial marrigage. My character was gay. cue me looking for an 18 yo lustful girl, closing my eyes and doing what must be done for the sake of the realm. Fun stuff!

Yeah. I like RNG. Otherwise I'd play chess.

 

[knppel]

I started my third nomad horde game as Khazar today just before. The first two attempts both got screwed by first generation demon spawn. A girl, in a nomad clan. Two. Freaking. Times. In row.

 

[Seclouds]

Hey, The sadistic things... As I played the tribe few hours ago, have 6 sons, and the capital had a revolt, and my army is hundreds mils away.
They stacked down my capital, and 5 of 6 sons was 'killed by rob'.
So I should thanks them helping me to solve the hire crisis?
WTF shxt game is it.

 

[Prince Ire]

Yeah sometimes the RNG just feels totally EVIL! After an unfortunate sequence of events (mostly also RNG related!) my king died leaving his 10 year old son as the new king. The older son had just died of a bad case of the flu, and I didn't have more than one 'spare' and bad luck had meant that my next heir was not of my bloodline - cue much biting of nails "will I survive to sire an heir?".

I got betrothed to a genius princess that was the same age, and on coming of age and getting married, I was hopeful of getting a good quality heir. Then my bride died of cancer aged 17 ..... so I married again, again to a genius, and this time had a child (yay!) a daughter (less yay!) and then my 2nd wife also died of cancer - this time aged 20. Wait seriously? Even when I did finally have a son (with my third wife) he died of smallpox. It did eventually work out fine, as that character I was playing ended up being one of my longest lived characters, but the first 10-15 years it totally felt like I was being trolled by RNGesus

That's why I always play with the frequency of illnesses and disease turned down.

 

[knppel]

Finally a khazar early game without demon spawn interfering. I breed, establish tributaries, train my heirs, and then get a mission to duel my best son and heir, where of course despite being less skilled, I win and he gets grieveously injured, not wounded.

 

[Ruisuki]

No but Ironman is required to get achievements and it also stops console. So yes - if you want achievements, console is not for you

do you know if using the save button in ironman kills achievements too? Its the only thing i can think of since otherwise ppl would just save, backup the save, resign to title screen and paste overwrite the save that happens when you do that - instead of task manager