War and Revelations- The Hebrew Uganda AAR

[TheExecuter]

VERY dramatic ending. Kinda sad...it would leave me depressed for a few days...

This would be almost Shakespearic or Greek tragedy in its outline.

Anyway, good luck on your next project!

TheExecuter

 

[unmerged(44784)]

I loved the ending. One of the best I've seen.

 

[likk9922]

Thank you all so much.

I really would like to hear reactions... I tried to make it powerful, although I know it lost some of its effect through presentation. o
But I know more people have been reading. I would be very appreciative if you just helped me to see this AAr off.

The ending is a little too 300-esque, but it would probably have been really cool. They could have evacuated Uganda like the Athenians evacuated their city.

Firstly, thanks for the advice.
Now, I really tried to distance this from 300. It's harder than you'd think, however, as there is only so much you can do with an epic last stand. I'll keep it in mind, though.

This would be almost Shakespearic or Greek tragedy in its outline.

That's actually what I was going for. I love those old epics and tragedies, and I tend to base my stories off of their mold.

Thank you two, RGB and Earth's Savior. You're very kind.

 

[Enewald]

I'd like to have had all that brilliance in a lonher narrative version. o

 

[gis]

Wow, That's a great ending, seems like we were only in the start haven't we... too bad it ended so fast well, onwards with the next! Good luck with it!

 

[unmerged(106433)]

The ending with Rommel would have been nice and tragic but the specifics of Smith and the later part of Wolfe seems just a bit contrived.

Thus far however, I wish you could pick up on the story and try to continue it. Normally, I am irritated by AARs focused on individuals but your writing has made an exception.