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Good, because if you don't, than El Presidente would be really, really, really sad and depressed.
A lot seems to be happening at once. I like the idea of a single German immigrant working alone in a factory built for 10,000 people, but he already seems to have made some friends.
Have the Americans started their civil war yet?
You did cut the bureaucrats pay as well as stopping the adverts?
You did cut the bureaucrats pay as well as stopping the adverts?
Amurikka still has another 10 years or so to go before they start killing eachother.
And the bureaucrats are still fully paid.
And the bureaucrats are still fully paid.
Hey TitanToe!
And don't call me Pixie here please, lest the forumites here pick it up and call me that too
And don't call me Pixie here please, lest the forumites here pick it up and call me that too
Chapter X: So Close - Yet, So Far Away
So apparently Morocco went bankrupt. Why could that be, after all they're really cool people, right?
Oh, right, Spain. El Presidente never understood why Spain loves to take land from the poor, poor Moroccans all the time, but whatever.
El Presidente finds out that the old Admiral of the Mormon Fleet has fallen to natural causes and needs a replacement. He hires Mark Chipman for the job, and actually has a task for him even. Yep, that's right, the Navy of Deseret has a job to do!
Mark Chipman asks, "So, El Presidente, you wanted to see me. What is it you ask?"
El Presidente grinned and pulled out a map. "You are to sail to the coast of Brunei and ... inspect ... their military.
Mark Chipman nods. "Of course, El Presidente. I shall set off at once.
And set off he did, taking the convoy of clipper ships off to the East Indies. El Presidente wished him luck in his travels and went back to shuffling paperwork once in a while. It was a boring time for El Presidente as he waited those arduous months for Mark to return, and so he kept a diary of events to keep his sanity.
July 4th, 1852
Today is our neighbor's Independence Day, and us Mormons were baffled at the Yanks and their mass setting off of fireworks, and binge drinking, and wild gunshots. Regardless, our celebrations seem rather boring. I should make note to make January 2nd of every year a more awesome time for all. 82% of our population is protestant or animist anyway... according to the bureaucrats.
Mark Chipman and his ships arrive off the coast of Brunei, the capital of Brunei. They stay there for a few days. Brunei doesn't seem suspicious of the small convoy of ships off their coast, but Mark and his men catch details of the Bruneian army.
"Army of the Sultan of Brunei"
Mark Chipman estimates the force at 3,000 men and sees no apparent leader to it either. They are armed with very old muskets that probably were around when Napoleon was still rampaging at everyone making fun of his height. He wrote these notes down, rested a few more days and then set sail for home.
Mark was no General but from what he saw, it would be easy for any army from Deseret to come around and kick some Bruneian ass. Once they get an army, anyway.
August 25th, 1852
It's my birthday. And Nobody cared. This sucks.
Anyway, Mark Chipman has yet to return from his voyage, and its been several months now since his departure. I suspect one of three things to be the problem - Either Mark has been consumed by the Bruneians as food, his ships left to rot off shore by the barbarians, he shipwrecked and now is attempting to make a living on a random Pacific Island, also cannibalized, or perhaps Mark was bribed by the Dutch in the area to serve them instead. Whichever case it may be, I will wait no more than another week, afterwards the commisioning of a new navy and admiral is in order. If Mark returns afterwards, he has explaining to do.
Despite El Presidente's best efforts, none of the three were true. Mark Chipman would die just a hundred miles from port, his ship was so battered and beaten from the long journey that a mere skimming the edge of a rock caused the ship to finally sink to the depths of the Pacific. A week would pass but El Presidente was stubborn, so instead of commissioning a new navy right away, he turned taxes down as an experiment.
Maybe this time it'll work. Except its not tariffs, but whatever.
Another week passes, the lower taxes yield no benefits. El Presidente takes this as a sign of yet another failed experiment and turns them back up to maximum again.
Edward Davis, secondary Admiral of the Mormon Fleet, bears news for El Presidente though.
"Sir, Mark Chipman's ship has been found just a hundred miles from San Diego port."
Yea, He sunk somewhere in there. Don't ask me how I know...
El Presidente was silent. Mark was dead - which meant his news about the Bruneians would've not gotten through. But Mark had given his life to Deseret, and died serving the nation and its people. He would award Mark with the Mormon Cross, but first a new fleet was in order.
"Edward Davis, you are now head of the fleet as of now. Feel free to name your convoy as you like, but unlike Mark I have no jobs for you to do, as I fear losing yet another admiral is a great possibility."
Ed wasn't upset about the years of boredom that were about to pass, nor jubilant about his promotion. Fine with El Presidente...
Back to work. El Presidente gets yet another census paper and finds that quite a few Native Americans are near "standing army" stance or whatever William Howard wants to call it.
El Presidente chooses to mitigate the policies and cuts a month from the Mormon's current research project which happens to be Child Soldi- err Idealism.
And Edward Davis reports that his new Mormon Fleet of DOOM is now ready for breaking ass and kicking hearts.
Of course, a new secondary admiral is hired, but he's lame. A Keen Diplomat.
Oh cool, 1% more money.
Now we can muster forth the Mormon Children to go on a Mormon Crusade to Mormonize the East Indies. After we jump from 8 RP per day to 11.5 per day. Quite a nice jump, me likey. Let's start on a new tech, how about Strategic Mobility?
William Howard is pleased with the military progress...
But there is quite a bit more waiting involved in this.
Oh, and John Wallace, a Brilliant Butcher, wants to join our navy. Ed and John welcome him, but El Presidente doesn't like his lack of adrenaline in making his ships move magically faster.
So apparently Morocco went bankrupt. Why could that be, after all they're really cool people, right?
Oh, right, Spain. El Presidente never understood why Spain loves to take land from the poor, poor Moroccans all the time, but whatever.
El Presidente finds out that the old Admiral of the Mormon Fleet has fallen to natural causes and needs a replacement. He hires Mark Chipman for the job, and actually has a task for him even. Yep, that's right, the Navy of Deseret has a job to do!
Mark Chipman asks, "So, El Presidente, you wanted to see me. What is it you ask?"
El Presidente grinned and pulled out a map. "You are to sail to the coast of Brunei and ... inspect ... their military.
Mark Chipman nods. "Of course, El Presidente. I shall set off at once.
And set off he did, taking the convoy of clipper ships off to the East Indies. El Presidente wished him luck in his travels and went back to shuffling paperwork once in a while. It was a boring time for El Presidente as he waited those arduous months for Mark to return, and so he kept a diary of events to keep his sanity.
July 4th, 1852
Today is our neighbor's Independence Day, and us Mormons were baffled at the Yanks and their mass setting off of fireworks, and binge drinking, and wild gunshots. Regardless, our celebrations seem rather boring. I should make note to make January 2nd of every year a more awesome time for all. 82% of our population is protestant or animist anyway... according to the bureaucrats.
Mark Chipman and his ships arrive off the coast of Brunei, the capital of Brunei. They stay there for a few days. Brunei doesn't seem suspicious of the small convoy of ships off their coast, but Mark and his men catch details of the Bruneian army.
"Army of the Sultan of Brunei"
Mark Chipman estimates the force at 3,000 men and sees no apparent leader to it either. They are armed with very old muskets that probably were around when Napoleon was still rampaging at everyone making fun of his height. He wrote these notes down, rested a few more days and then set sail for home.
Mark was no General but from what he saw, it would be easy for any army from Deseret to come around and kick some Bruneian ass. Once they get an army, anyway.
August 25th, 1852
It's my birthday. And Nobody cared. This sucks.
Anyway, Mark Chipman has yet to return from his voyage, and its been several months now since his departure. I suspect one of three things to be the problem - Either Mark has been consumed by the Bruneians as food, his ships left to rot off shore by the barbarians, he shipwrecked and now is attempting to make a living on a random Pacific Island, also cannibalized, or perhaps Mark was bribed by the Dutch in the area to serve them instead. Whichever case it may be, I will wait no more than another week, afterwards the commisioning of a new navy and admiral is in order. If Mark returns afterwards, he has explaining to do.
Despite El Presidente's best efforts, none of the three were true. Mark Chipman would die just a hundred miles from port, his ship was so battered and beaten from the long journey that a mere skimming the edge of a rock caused the ship to finally sink to the depths of the Pacific. A week would pass but El Presidente was stubborn, so instead of commissioning a new navy right away, he turned taxes down as an experiment.
Maybe this time it'll work. Except its not tariffs, but whatever.
Another week passes, the lower taxes yield no benefits. El Presidente takes this as a sign of yet another failed experiment and turns them back up to maximum again.
Edward Davis, secondary Admiral of the Mormon Fleet, bears news for El Presidente though.
"Sir, Mark Chipman's ship has been found just a hundred miles from San Diego port."
Yea, He sunk somewhere in there. Don't ask me how I know...
El Presidente was silent. Mark was dead - which meant his news about the Bruneians would've not gotten through. But Mark had given his life to Deseret, and died serving the nation and its people. He would award Mark with the Mormon Cross, but first a new fleet was in order.
"Edward Davis, you are now head of the fleet as of now. Feel free to name your convoy as you like, but unlike Mark I have no jobs for you to do, as I fear losing yet another admiral is a great possibility."
Ed wasn't upset about the years of boredom that were about to pass, nor jubilant about his promotion. Fine with El Presidente...
Back to work. El Presidente gets yet another census paper and finds that quite a few Native Americans are near "standing army" stance or whatever William Howard wants to call it.
El Presidente chooses to mitigate the policies and cuts a month from the Mormon's current research project which happens to be Child Soldi- err Idealism.
And Edward Davis reports that his new Mormon Fleet of DOOM is now ready for breaking ass and kicking hearts.
Of course, a new secondary admiral is hired, but he's lame. A Keen Diplomat.
Oh cool, 1% more money.
Now we can muster forth the Mormon Children to go on a Mormon Crusade to Mormonize the East Indies. After we jump from 8 RP per day to 11.5 per day. Quite a nice jump, me likey. Let's start on a new tech, how about Strategic Mobility?
William Howard is pleased with the military progress...
But there is quite a bit more waiting involved in this.
Oh, and John Wallace, a Brilliant Butcher, wants to join our navy. Ed and John welcome him, but El Presidente doesn't like his lack of adrenaline in making his ships move magically faster.
If you pay attention, I have about 3,000 pounds in the bank now. I even have a couple screenshots with the top bar showing :/
Your Native American protestant soldier POPs went up by 100 in the space of this update, which suggests that in a few more years you'll be able to field your first unit.
I wouldn't bother paying the upkeep on the clippers either. It's not like they'll be in any position to win a battle.
I wouldn't bother paying the upkeep on the clippers either. It's not like they'll be in any position to win a battle.
Sooner or later you are going to want to look at Brunei on the diplomatic screen with Show Wars selected.
Amongst other things, your diplomatic corps have already gathered the information and will tell you how many ships and how many brigades they have. You need to sail to Brunei if you want to check that their one brigade is at home, rather than on a rampage in Java, but you don't need to sail there to check that they only have the one.
Military access from someone will help your ships get back, rather relying on the note in the bottle hurled eastward as the admiral goes down with the last % of the last ship. Even a stopover in Hawaii should be enough, assuming they haven't got around to begging the US to annex them yet.
Although Brunei only has one brigade at the moment, it would not be wise to count on them not starting to recruit more the moment you declare war. I'd recommend an expedition of 4 missionary brigades of cavalry so that you can start proselytising every province the moment the initial resistance is routed.
Amongst other things, your diplomatic corps have already gathered the information and will tell you how many ships and how many brigades they have. You need to sail to Brunei if you want to check that their one brigade is at home, rather than on a rampage in Java, but you don't need to sail there to check that they only have the one.
Military access from someone will help your ships get back, rather relying on the note in the bottle hurled eastward as the admiral goes down with the last % of the last ship. Even a stopover in Hawaii should be enough, assuming they haven't got around to begging the US to annex them yet.
Although Brunei only has one brigade at the moment, it would not be wise to count on them not starting to recruit more the moment you declare war. I'd recommend an expedition of 4 missionary brigades of cavalry so that you can start proselytising every province the moment the initial resistance is routed.
In my experience Arch Mede, I have NEVER seen Brueni, Johore or Atjeh with any more than 1 brigade. So I wouldn't worry Pix.
More than one brigade might still be a good idea though. Attacking at even odds, with only a small tech edge, is not a good strategy for victory. Also only one brigade means subduing only one of Brunei's four provinces at a time, which allows them to form up another brigade while you're methodically going about doing it. It only takes one battle loss to lose the whole campaign in these circumstances...though it would be glorious if he succeeds.
Brunei I generally see with 1 before war, but they build once at war, and 3 or 4 plus building is typical for Johore and Atjeh.
In 1836 and they may not have more than 1, but its going to be about 1860 before he gets there and thats plenty of time for them to have built up soldier POPs.
I took 4 for Brunei when I played Deseret, killed 3 regiments (1 standing plus 2 recruits wiped as soon as they sallied forth) recruited another 2 from the surviving Brunei soldier POPs, killed 7 in Johore (3 standing plus 4 recruits) and recruited another 4 from the surviving Johore soldier POPs. Then the Dutch declared war for Johore and then I attacked the USA, so I never got around to Atjeh, but I expect it would have had a few more soldiers than Johore. It usually does.
No. I don't even pay a single pound per day to pay for my ships and their crew. I still GAIN money when having this ship in my port and it doesn't reduce my income by more than like 0.00001 or whatever. Deseret isn't THAT poor anymore, you know.
And yes, our soldier pops I suspect will be (finally) ready for action within the space of two updates. Bout time too, I'm running out of jokes to somehow keep this thing entertaining without you guys and your constant desire for Mormon crusades to happen constantly.
And I will continue to pay my clippers, because A) It costs barely anything to do so, and B) the poor crew needs something to get by, right?
A few things about Brunei, though. As I said in the AAR, their army has no leader and is also behind me in tech. Yes I still wouldn't advise myself to attack with just one brigade, but William Howard is a great general and could probably defeat the Bruneian army (though the jungle and stuff would give me a headache - it'll be a Mormon Vietnam...)
I like this AAR...first one I've read and it's fairly awesome and has helped me learn the game. May your mormonization of Brunei go well.
Chapter Blah: Death of a Hero, Wealth, Prosperity, and Guns
Hegal is actually a big fan of child soldiers and stuff. Just sayin'
The policy is rescinded because, uhm, yea, no one would gain militancy at all in that case...
Gustav's factory lost a few workers, but at least Gustav himself has a decent job, and the factory accounts for a trillionth of Deseret's income so that's pretty well and good for El Presidente. As long as he's not paying for the factory, all is well.
Several days pass, and William Howard, the man destined to command the greatest army on Earth, is growing weak. He is no longer fit to command, but El Presidente keeps him around for future military advise. A true shame. However, the shame is greater when El Presidente awakens the next morning and buys Starbucks for everybody to flaunt his new wealth - only to find that Howard didn't write out his order.
El Presidente took his personal railway (and yes it does pass through Starbucks) back home to ask Howard for his order - only to find him dead. Deseret's future astronauts to far away galaxys would hear his lamentations millions of years later. El Presidente's scream of NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! would shake Deseret and bring it practically to its knees - the only possible future national hero of Deseret. Dead. Not gloriously, not inspiringly, not heroically, but as an old but wise man who died in his bed one morning suddenly.
El Presidente ordered the construction of a memorial to him - which confused the Mormons because no one was exactly sure what he did to deserve a memorial, but whatever.
It was a statue of pure silver (which we got for free because we own Nevada *wink*) erected in the Town Square of Salt Lake City. Let us always remember Howard for doing nothing.
Howard would've been proud to see how close El Presidente is to raising an army. Oh, maybe he reincarnated in some other possibly eminent General? Let's see...
John McDowell is far from a bad General, but he is not the hero that Howard would've been. Legends would be told generations after Howard's deeds, but John would be forgotten a generation later.
But Howard's ingenuity would stick around after his death, showing in his relatively innovative doctrine for Deseret's future army - Strategic Mobility.
El Presidente dedicates his researchers to Idealogical Thought, apparently because it gives plurality bonuses to Mormon research or summit.
Then, suddenly, another man in Deseret dies.
Edward Davis, Grand Admiral of the Grand Navy of the Grand State of Deseret. No monument was erected to him because of the manner in which he died - on a boat.
Oh, if only Howard was alive to see this moment! The Deseret Army is 50 shy of a brigade, and then Deseret shall embark on a quest.
Another General is hired, but he's also not a legendary man.
In fact, he's just an ordinary bloke.
This has had no effect - except for one thing. It's made our mobilization go from '--' to '0' which is a notable improvement, ja?
Suddenly El Presidente yelled again. Loudly. Unlike his sadness that would be heard by Mormon astronauts, this was jubilance. It was not mourning the death of a great national hero, it was not the apathy of Morocco's annexation by Spain, it was John McDowell rushing into the Mormon Presidential Office with a pamphlet that showed great news for Deseret.
And so, let it be known from shore to shore the glory of Deseret. Let our flag blow in the wind in foreign shores, let us claim that the sun never sets. For indeed it will will not - for Deseret will span from California to the Caucasus, from Malta to Mauritius, from France to Finland, and most importantly from Panama to Suez. But only those places, because we only have ~80 years to do it, and that may not be enough time.
Such an endeavor will be expensive. It will result in the deaths of many thousands of Mormons. El Presidente vowed from henceforth that every Deseret soldier or prominent general or officer who dies will be counted toward a list of Martyrs to Deseret's glory and survival. So let the count begin.
Mormon Martyrs to Deseret's Prosperity: 2
Hegal is actually a big fan of child soldiers and stuff. Just sayin'
The policy is rescinded because, uhm, yea, no one would gain militancy at all in that case...
Gustav's factory lost a few workers, but at least Gustav himself has a decent job, and the factory accounts for a trillionth of Deseret's income so that's pretty well and good for El Presidente. As long as he's not paying for the factory, all is well.
Several days pass, and William Howard, the man destined to command the greatest army on Earth, is growing weak. He is no longer fit to command, but El Presidente keeps him around for future military advise. A true shame. However, the shame is greater when El Presidente awakens the next morning and buys Starbucks for everybody to flaunt his new wealth - only to find that Howard didn't write out his order.
El Presidente took his personal railway (and yes it does pass through Starbucks) back home to ask Howard for his order - only to find him dead. Deseret's future astronauts to far away galaxys would hear his lamentations millions of years later. El Presidente's scream of NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! would shake Deseret and bring it practically to its knees - the only possible future national hero of Deseret. Dead. Not gloriously, not inspiringly, not heroically, but as an old but wise man who died in his bed one morning suddenly.
El Presidente ordered the construction of a memorial to him - which confused the Mormons because no one was exactly sure what he did to deserve a memorial, but whatever.
It was a statue of pure silver (which we got for free because we own Nevada *wink*) erected in the Town Square of Salt Lake City. Let us always remember Howard for doing nothing.
Howard would've been proud to see how close El Presidente is to raising an army. Oh, maybe he reincarnated in some other possibly eminent General? Let's see...
John McDowell is far from a bad General, but he is not the hero that Howard would've been. Legends would be told generations after Howard's deeds, but John would be forgotten a generation later.
But Howard's ingenuity would stick around after his death, showing in his relatively innovative doctrine for Deseret's future army - Strategic Mobility.
El Presidente dedicates his researchers to Idealogical Thought, apparently because it gives plurality bonuses to Mormon research or summit.
Then, suddenly, another man in Deseret dies.
Edward Davis, Grand Admiral of the Grand Navy of the Grand State of Deseret. No monument was erected to him because of the manner in which he died - on a boat.
Oh, if only Howard was alive to see this moment! The Deseret Army is 50 shy of a brigade, and then Deseret shall embark on a quest.
Another General is hired, but he's also not a legendary man.
In fact, he's just an ordinary bloke.
This has had no effect - except for one thing. It's made our mobilization go from '--' to '0' which is a notable improvement, ja?
Suddenly El Presidente yelled again. Loudly. Unlike his sadness that would be heard by Mormon astronauts, this was jubilance. It was not mourning the death of a great national hero, it was not the apathy of Morocco's annexation by Spain, it was John McDowell rushing into the Mormon Presidential Office with a pamphlet that showed great news for Deseret.
And so, let it be known from shore to shore the glory of Deseret. Let our flag blow in the wind in foreign shores, let us claim that the sun never sets. For indeed it will will not - for Deseret will span from California to the Caucasus, from Malta to Mauritius, from France to Finland, and most importantly from Panama to Suez. But only those places, because we only have ~80 years to do it, and that may not be enough time.
Such an endeavor will be expensive. It will result in the deaths of many thousands of Mormons. El Presidente vowed from henceforth that every Deseret soldier or prominent general or officer who dies will be counted toward a list of Martyrs to Deseret's glory and survival. So let the count begin.
Mormon Martyrs to Deseret's Prosperity: 2