take that pierre! maybe they should make a robot and put pierres ghost in it...then it will have an off button! 
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I'm just wondering because not only are people posting less, but apparently the viewcount is slowing down. And here at a time of unprecedentedly frequent updates?
anonymous4401 said:
That's it! Don't post NEAR as many updates, and then they will become more valuable! Absence breeds fondness and all that, y'know.
Summer holidaysanonymous4401 said:
And don't you dare touch an hair of Pierre, I mean, uh, after he is revivified, or prepare to face the righteous wrath of the Linant de Bellefonds fan club !
Nameless said:
If he listen's to you , I will make sure you end up as a Frenchman. By that, I mean you will be French!
Yoy21 said:If he listen's to you , I will make sure you end up as a Frenchman. By that, I mean you will be French!
Does not compute.
Yoy21 said:
He's been so hostile lately. I wonder what I did to tick him off. KTG, too.
(I'm stopping now, before I'm accused of spamming)
No, just enjoying it in silence.
BTW, you switched ministers? Now Ethiopia has even less IC? Good luck!
Have you already decided what to do when the Germans come knocking at your (allied) door in North-Italy?
anonymous4401 said:
Yeah i know barely anyone replies to my AAR these days, i usually have to ask for replies, normally it will be only Lifeless answering or you. But yeah must be the summer. Nice update thought, pretty funny
Actually its winter and not a holiday in sight!
You northerners are caught up in the HoI2 universe where summer and winter are the same for both hemispheres!
O and BTW I am enjoying the updates! And while trying not to be offensive to the original (which is very tardy in updating) I like your tower of fear much more!
You northerners are caught up in the HoI2 universe where summer and winter are the same for both hemispheres!
O and BTW I am enjoying the updates! And while trying not to be offensive to the original (which is very tardy in updating) I like your tower of fear much more!
Not at all, we are perfectly aware of how the world goes. It must just be a real burden for you australians to live upside down, or to be obliged to walk on the hands to have the head higher than the feet.therev said:
What to do ? Read Anon's parody first and then the original, to keep the surprise ? Or read the original first to appreciate the parody better ? Hmm. Hard to say.therev said:
But if nobody posts a link toward the original AAR I will probably choose 1. out of lazyness.
o
Well, all right. I was just concerned by the very visible drop in replies in a surprisingly short span of only two days, as well as the viewcount difference seeming to drop as well, as I keep an eye on that.
And actually, in HOI2 they really do take account the hemisphere for weather! For instance, in the middle of summer, I saw that those crazy Argentines way down south had snow!
And actually, in HOI2 they really do take account the hemisphere for weather! For instance, in the middle of summer, I saw that those crazy Argentines way down south had snow!
With Apologies to MacRaith, Pt 7
This village will never get named at this rate, will it?
1939AD still. Really. It's not like it was going to change or anything.
János was panicked. If the ceremony had lasted a minute longer, he would have been interrupted by the entry of the Emperor and his two friends, and who knows what might have happened? As it was, he barely managed to hide, and fortunately the sight of his handiwork upon the formerly alive, now dead, French Armaments Minister was enough to send them away for the time being, which allowed him to leave the tower undetected. He thanked God for that, but realized the silliness inherent in that, so thanked Satan instead. It felt right.
Of course, before he could return to his home, he had to get all of the Frenchman's blood cleaned off of his clothes, so it was a detour to the nearest stream, which was actually quite far away. There for about an hour he tried to rinse the blood out in vain. The Emperor was right! French blood really was difficult to get out. Though he did make progress, it was not nearly enough, and French blood still visibly stained his sleeves. He figured that it would have to do for now, since being absent from his headman-duties any longer would arouse suspicion. With his gladius tucked in his belt, on his back so that it was concealed by his cloak, he ran.
Along the way, he bumped into someone who gave him a visible fright.
"'ello!"
Upon a second glance, he realized that this was not the Pierre Linant de Bellefonds that he had just killed and dismembered. It must have been that conscience-thing again, trying to make him feel guilty for murdering an endless stream of innocents over the centuries to maintain the Tower's seal, as well as other reasons, like fun. Whatever.
"Uh, hello. I am János. And who might you be, newcomer?"
"I em Inspectair Nespafransay of ze Romanian Police Force, and I em 'ere to investigaite...a murdair!"
"A... murder? Of...of who?"
"Why, of ze Frenchman known as Pierre Linant de Bellefonds, of course!"
Behind his back, János gripped his gladius.
"May I ask... How did the Romanian police come to know of this so quickly?"
"Surely you know zat ze only thing zat travels fastair zan bad news is news of a Frenchman's death! En since ze death of Pierre Linant de Bellefonds, Administrative Genius, is bad news to ze Ethiopian Empire, eet traveled eevain fastair!"
"I see. Well, if you wish to examine the tower, I can take you there. Just let me take you to the nearest dark alley for a minute-"
"Wait, 'ow did you know zat ze victeem was murdaired in ze towair?"
"Why, I'm the headman of the village! Yes, that's it. I keep myself informed."
"Ah, of course! Your village is blessed to 'ave a 'eadman as informed as yourself. And no thank you, I 'ave already investigaited ze towair, and 'ave found some...interesting....things...."
"Really?"
János gripped his gladius even tighter.
"Tell me more."
"Well, for one, ze victeem was murdaired with a short sword, possibly ze Roman gladius. For anozair, ze blood was used in a twisted ceraimony of some sort..."
The inspector couldn't see it, but János was reaching his gladius behind the inspector's back, lining up a fatal strike...
"Just between you and moi, I suspect ze towair-guardair-person."
Quite quickly, the gladius was back behind János's back.
"Surely not Péter!"
"Oh, oui. Je veux dire, yes. I mean, yes. Yes. Oui."
"But not... say... János the headman?"
"Who?" The inspector looked confused for a moment until comprehension dawned on him. Then he began to laugh uproariously. János joined in his laugh, if exceedingly awkwardly.
"Oh, non! Non! I do not suspect you, János, my new friend! In fact, you are at ze very bottom of my list of suspects, even below ze women, ze children, and ze eldairly! Non!"
János finally relaxed, at last tucking the gladius into his belt.
"That is good to hear, Inspectair Nespafransay. Now since you're new in town-"
"Wait..." Suddenly, Nespafransay wasn't laughing. "Your sleeves... zey are covaired with blood! Porquoi?"
János stopped laughing as well. His first instinct was to reach for his gladius again, but Nespafransay's eyes were trained upon him. His mind frantically raced for an answer. Suddenly, he got it. He replied in conspiratorial tones.
"Well, you know, Inspectair, just between friends: Sometimes the headman, he has to get his hands dirty. Right? You know?" János winked.
"Ah," Nespafransay said, nodding in understanding. "Mon papa was ze same way. 'e would always be coming back with ze bloodstains, and we would nevair question 'im. And if we did, oh, ze beatings...."
Nespafransay suddenly got a faraway look in his eyes, a look that was haunted full of memories that weighed on him just like a ton of boulders would weigh down a ton-of-boulders-carrying-device that was loaded past the point of specification.
"But enough of ze, 'ow do you say it? Small talk. I am still investigaitng zis case, and it looks like it will take some weeks. So I will need a place to stay!"
"I will be happy to accommodate you at my humble abode, Inspectair. Of course, I expect some compensation. Surely the Romanian Police Force provides some housing allowances..."
Herouy Wolde Selassie had been at it for a long time. Yet the little rubber ball kept refusing to go into the cup, no matter how hard he tried. He thought that if he was sneaky enough, he could sneak the cup under the ball while it stayed in one place. He tried this many times, but never managed to surprise the ball, which always knew to move whenever he moved the cup. It was quite infuriating that he was so poor at being sneaky.
Yet he kept trying, walking as he did so, paying no attention to his environs, the meager resources of his mind entirely focused on one objective. So in fact he did not notice at all that he had wandered near the tower, and only noticed some time into its duration that something was breathing on his neck.
"Oh, hi, Haile," Herouy said, not even turning around to see. But it still didn't add up. The Emperor, his friend, never breathed heavily down people's necks. He never whinnied either. He turned around and looked, and became even more confused, because the Emperor was also not a demonic, red-eyed pony that was frothing at the mouth. No, not at all.
Herouy's mind slowly began to turn, but like the United States in the '36 scenario, the negative modifiers were too great. But eventually two wires crossed and caused Herouy to do two things: Scream and run around randomly. This led to him running straight into the wall of the tower. Recovering, he began to scream again, and run again, this time in the general direction of János's house where he and everybody of importance in the story thus far was staying.
This village will never get named at this rate, will it?
1939AD still. Really. It's not like it was going to change or anything.
János was panicked. If the ceremony had lasted a minute longer, he would have been interrupted by the entry of the Emperor and his two friends, and who knows what might have happened? As it was, he barely managed to hide, and fortunately the sight of his handiwork upon the formerly alive, now dead, French Armaments Minister was enough to send them away for the time being, which allowed him to leave the tower undetected. He thanked God for that, but realized the silliness inherent in that, so thanked Satan instead. It felt right.
Of course, before he could return to his home, he had to get all of the Frenchman's blood cleaned off of his clothes, so it was a detour to the nearest stream, which was actually quite far away. There for about an hour he tried to rinse the blood out in vain. The Emperor was right! French blood really was difficult to get out. Though he did make progress, it was not nearly enough, and French blood still visibly stained his sleeves. He figured that it would have to do for now, since being absent from his headman-duties any longer would arouse suspicion. With his gladius tucked in his belt, on his back so that it was concealed by his cloak, he ran.
Along the way, he bumped into someone who gave him a visible fright.
"'ello!"
Upon a second glance, he realized that this was not the Pierre Linant de Bellefonds that he had just killed and dismembered. It must have been that conscience-thing again, trying to make him feel guilty for murdering an endless stream of innocents over the centuries to maintain the Tower's seal, as well as other reasons, like fun. Whatever.
"Uh, hello. I am János. And who might you be, newcomer?"
"I em Inspectair Nespafransay of ze Romanian Police Force, and I em 'ere to investigaite...a murdair!"
"A... murder? Of...of who?"
"Why, of ze Frenchman known as Pierre Linant de Bellefonds, of course!"
Behind his back, János gripped his gladius.
"May I ask... How did the Romanian police come to know of this so quickly?"
"Surely you know zat ze only thing zat travels fastair zan bad news is news of a Frenchman's death! En since ze death of Pierre Linant de Bellefonds, Administrative Genius, is bad news to ze Ethiopian Empire, eet traveled eevain fastair!"
"I see. Well, if you wish to examine the tower, I can take you there. Just let me take you to the nearest dark alley for a minute-"
"Wait, 'ow did you know zat ze victeem was murdaired in ze towair?"
"Why, I'm the headman of the village! Yes, that's it. I keep myself informed."
"Ah, of course! Your village is blessed to 'ave a 'eadman as informed as yourself. And no thank you, I 'ave already investigaited ze towair, and 'ave found some...interesting....things...."
"Really?"
János gripped his gladius even tighter.
"Tell me more."
"Well, for one, ze victeem was murdaired with a short sword, possibly ze Roman gladius. For anozair, ze blood was used in a twisted ceraimony of some sort..."
The inspector couldn't see it, but János was reaching his gladius behind the inspector's back, lining up a fatal strike...
"Just between you and moi, I suspect ze towair-guardair-person."
Quite quickly, the gladius was back behind János's back.
"Surely not Péter!"
"Oh, oui. Je veux dire, yes. I mean, yes. Yes. Oui."
"But not... say... János the headman?"
"Who?" The inspector looked confused for a moment until comprehension dawned on him. Then he began to laugh uproariously. János joined in his laugh, if exceedingly awkwardly.
"Oh, non! Non! I do not suspect you, János, my new friend! In fact, you are at ze very bottom of my list of suspects, even below ze women, ze children, and ze eldairly! Non!"
János finally relaxed, at last tucking the gladius into his belt.
"That is good to hear, Inspectair Nespafransay. Now since you're new in town-"
"Wait..." Suddenly, Nespafransay wasn't laughing. "Your sleeves... zey are covaired with blood! Porquoi?"
János stopped laughing as well. His first instinct was to reach for his gladius again, but Nespafransay's eyes were trained upon him. His mind frantically raced for an answer. Suddenly, he got it. He replied in conspiratorial tones.
"Well, you know, Inspectair, just between friends: Sometimes the headman, he has to get his hands dirty. Right? You know?" János winked.
"Ah," Nespafransay said, nodding in understanding. "Mon papa was ze same way. 'e would always be coming back with ze bloodstains, and we would nevair question 'im. And if we did, oh, ze beatings...."
Nespafransay suddenly got a faraway look in his eyes, a look that was haunted full of memories that weighed on him just like a ton of boulders would weigh down a ton-of-boulders-carrying-device that was loaded past the point of specification.
"But enough of ze, 'ow do you say it? Small talk. I am still investigaitng zis case, and it looks like it will take some weeks. So I will need a place to stay!"
"I will be happy to accommodate you at my humble abode, Inspectair. Of course, I expect some compensation. Surely the Romanian Police Force provides some housing allowances..."
Herouy Wolde Selassie had been at it for a long time. Yet the little rubber ball kept refusing to go into the cup, no matter how hard he tried. He thought that if he was sneaky enough, he could sneak the cup under the ball while it stayed in one place. He tried this many times, but never managed to surprise the ball, which always knew to move whenever he moved the cup. It was quite infuriating that he was so poor at being sneaky.
Yet he kept trying, walking as he did so, paying no attention to his environs, the meager resources of his mind entirely focused on one objective. So in fact he did not notice at all that he had wandered near the tower, and only noticed some time into its duration that something was breathing on his neck.
"Oh, hi, Haile," Herouy said, not even turning around to see. But it still didn't add up. The Emperor, his friend, never breathed heavily down people's necks. He never whinnied either. He turned around and looked, and became even more confused, because the Emperor was also not a demonic, red-eyed pony that was frothing at the mouth. No, not at all.
Herouy's mind slowly began to turn, but like the United States in the '36 scenario, the negative modifiers were too great. But eventually two wires crossed and caused Herouy to do two things: Scream and run around randomly. This led to him running straight into the wall of the tower. Recovering, he began to scream again, and run again, this time in the general direction of János's house where he and everybody of importance in the story thus far was staying.