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I'm a alt-retro naval guy I guess! I want seaplanes to be launched by those rusting hulls to conduct impromptu naval strikes across the globe!
The Commandant Teste is at least understandable, if not excusable. She was officially classed as a "seaplane tender", however such ships usually carry a handful of seaplanes while the Commandant carried a nice couple dozen or so and was really closer to being a proper light/escort carrier. Most likely, Paradox just looked at the official classification and ignored her on account of not having seaplane tenders as an in-game ship class. Lazy, but at least a sort of sense can be made of this.
The same laziness afflicts a number of Soviet ship classes (and has bled into some mods such as BlackICE...), as the Soviets were not part of the Washington and London treaties and did not use the same class designations for their cruisers. For example, the Kirovs are classed in-game as CAs despite being much closer to CLs in actual construction and armament. We could probably sustain an entire El Pip AAR solely on the basis of how badly Paradox screwed up the world's navies, but such a thing might be quite dangerous as we may progress from slower-than-real-time to no speed at all!
On this forum, apparently not as niche as you might expect. Which makes sense really because literally everything here is alt-
...
Um...except political stuff. Hopefully.
They did give Sweden more effort than it deserves, many places are worse, but yeah it's not a great look not even getting your own country correct.
Your hatred of seaplane pilots and desire to see them all shot down for no effect is well known.I'm a alt-retro naval guy I guess! I want seaplanes to be launched by those rusting hulls to conduct impromptu naval strikes across the globe!
Trying to launch a naval strike from the Commandant Teste is just cruel, the poor pilots wouldn't have stood a chance. The main torpedo bomber, the Latecore 298s, has been described as "basically, the design was all wrong". This is probably why it never actually launched a torpedo in anger it's entire career.
I love retro alt-naval ships and ideas, but some things weren't done for very good reasons.
That sounds plausible, though of course for Sweden they still put the Gotland in so they weren't that consistent. But no-one has ever accused them of being fair and even handed.
I disagree, if you have to put the Kirovs in a box then the CA box is the better fit. The 180mm B-1-P guns were much longer ranged and had a far larger shell than any comparable 6" gun and while the ships were very lightly built they were 'only' as badly armoured as say the Trento Italian heavy cruisers. They are also not that different from the York country cruisers in dimensions.The same laziness afflicts a number of Soviet ship classes (and has bled into some mods such as BlackICE...), as the Soviets were not part of the Washington and London treaties and did not use the same class designations for their cruisers. For example, the Kirovs are classed in-game as CAs despite being much closer to CLs in actual construction and armament. We could probably sustain an entire El Pip AAR solely on the basis of how badly Paradox screwed up the world's navies, but such a thing might be quite dangerous as we may progress from slower-than-real-time to no speed at all!
I understand the thinking, they were in part based on Italian CLs and that DNA is clear to see. But as guns size was the only hard difference between a CA and a CL, I think they have to fall on the CA side.
We must all work together to defeat the alt-Middle-of-the-road-Centrist menace.
Obviously I had to check this and the conclusion is... mostly dull. Both the Fascist and Communist cabinets look about correct, mostly various people who associated with the relevant extremist party and none of them dead or in exile. Very little choice though, mostly one person for each role, where there is a choice it's because some of the people are selectable for multiple ministries. Very much a 'Bare minimum effort', with a couple of exceptions;
Only really odd fascist minister - Head of Intelligence,Hermann Nilsson-Ehle - Geneticist who was heavily pro-German, involved in founding the Swedish State Institute for Racial Biology and had strong views on Sweden's sterilisation policy (he was very much in favour of it). Certainly seems an unpleasant person, but odd choice for Head of Intelligence.
Communist ministers all about right, save for the military. Only once choice available for each, no photos just question marks for faces and the names seem odd. Think there may be an easter egg hidden in there as well;
Airforce boss - Krister Reuterswärd - Random Swedish communist who volunteered for International Brigade service and died in the SCW in 1937. He he was 21, but had managed to impress the Swedish hard left enough he got an article in the Swedish Communist newspaper, hence why his name survived.
Chief of Army - Axel Petterson - Either a dead architect or a Gynecologist, certainly not anyone even slightly military.
Chief of Staff - Gunnar Johansson - A Psychophysicist or a Sprint Canoeist. I'm going for the Psychophysicist because the description of his work is barking mad; He was interested in the Gestalt laws of motion perception in vision. He helped develop the rigidity assumption which posits that proximal stimuli that can be perceived as rigid objects are generally perceived as such. His life's work was a theory stating people see rigid things as rigid things, that's the sort of achievement that can only be properly celebrated by a Janko Jesensky poem.
Finally the possible easter egg;
Chief of Navy - Per M Eriksson - No-one famous was alive in the 30s/40s with that name. But the head of communications at Malmo University has that name and, best I can tell, was working at Malmo University in a more junior role in student comms in the early 2000s. I do wonder if one of the play testers/researchers had been to Malmo, or was still studying there, was scrabbling around for a name and though to use the name they saw on all the official university emails?
Hmm. Yeah sounds like they didn't really bother researching 'things they already knew' like their own country's government. And loads of time researching far flung countries but randomly picked from the stuff they had.
Actually, during the winter 43-44 the Gotland was rebuilt from Aviation cruiser (Basically a seaplane tender with some cruiser guns) to a AA Crusier.
However Gotland always had 6 152mm main guns, even as a aviation cruiser
I do however harbor serious doubt that Paradox were aware of this when they put the Gotland in game.
Your hatred of seaplane pilots and desire to see them all shot down for no effect is well known.
I WOVES seaplanes.
That, I am told, has never stopped ANY weapon from being used, with the possible exception of the Vasa.
Aren't you being unfair with the 298? I daresay a certain armistice, and a certain Mr Philippe Pétain, did exert a somewhat greater influence on that lack of Latécoère torpedoing.
It is odd, I would really have expected them to have put a bit more effort into their own country.
Then again, given Paradox's love of expensive DLCs it's clear they definitely aren't communist, so perhaps they were all overcome with revulsion at the thought of Communist Sweden and just did the bare minimum necessary to get it over and done with as fast as possible.
Excellent Swedish navy facts. I too would be surprised if Paradox were aware of such things.
It does highlight one of the on-going omissions of the HOI series; the ability to substantially re-build existing ships. Along with all the Italian and Japanese normal rebuilds you have the many slightly-mad Japanese efforts to produce hybrid carriers like the Mogami and Ise and some completely crazy plans to do the same to the RN's County class and . OK they were terrible ideas, but who could resist the alt-history challenge of trying to make them work?
I know, but you clearly hate their pilots and want to see them all shot down. Or at least 298 pilots (
)It had plenty of chances to torpedo things while doing aerial reconnaissance during the Phony War, if it failed at recon and couldn't even find something floaty and German to shoot at that just reinforces my opinion of it.That, I am told, has never stopped ANY weapon from being used, with the possible exception of the Vasa.
Aren't you being unfair with the 298? I daresay a certain armistice, and a certain Mr Philippe Pétain, did exert a somewhat greater influence on that lack of Latécoère torpedoing.
Key word is of course "trying" but with the AI in these particular games (and how things are modeled in combat) they would never be able to get around such things.
It had plenty of chances to torpedo things while doing aerial reconnaissance during the Phony War, if it failed at recon and couldn't even find something floaty and German to shoot at that just reinforces my opinion of it.
"Floaty and German"... excellent...
It had plenty of chances to torpedo things while doing aerial reconnaissance during the Phony War, if it failed at recon and couldn't even find something floaty and German to shoot at that just reinforces my opinion of it.
Bah! It bombed Panzers instead, their German-ness outweighing their un-floatiness.
I was pleased with it
If it had attacked Panzers with torpedoes I would have forgiven it, because that would be epic. Stupid and very unlikely to work, but epic nonetheless.Bah! It bombed Panzers instead, their German-ness outweighing their un-floatiness.
Seems like something out of an Italian playbook, though... "Why not? They both have explosive in them!"
1st January 1945
1st January 1945
We return to Bratislava on New Year's Day where the Slovak cabinet is gathering to discuss their plans for the forthcoming year. Unless those plans include 'getting annexed' this is probably a waste of time, but that doesn't seem to be deterring them. General Kubela looked up in surprise as Tiso and Tuka entered the command shed.
"Vodca, I did not think you would be attending the Monday morning briefing." He said.
"We thought you'd be hungover after New Year's Eve drinking." Malar babbled.
Tiso pulled himself up and glared.
"I am not affected by such things." He announced.
"Supreme Vodca Tiso has been undisputed leader of Slovakia for over five years, this has given him plenty of reasons to practice drinking heavily." Tuka explained.
Tiso nodded, then gestured for the meeting to begin.
"The British have Szombathely." Kubela said dramatically.
"We don't care about their hygiene habits." Tuka snapped.
Malar and Kubela looked confused. Well more confused than usual.
"You told us the British had some baths lately. This news doesn't seem relevant to a military briefing." Tiso said.
"No they've captured the Hungarian city of Szombathely. That is less than 80miles from Bratislava." Kubela explained why this was actually news.
"Why are you quoting the distance in miles rather than kilometers." Tiso asked.
"Because they are the one true unit of measurement." Pruzinsky declared, mildly shocking the rest of the cabinet who thought he had disappeared.
"And kilometres were the same units the Czechs used." Tuka roared, prompting a round of disgusted spitting.
Tiso slowly counted to five before continuing.
"How is the General Staff reacting to this worrying news." He asked.
"Panicking." Malar confirmed his mastery of Slvoak literalness.
Tuka started cursing most of the military under his breath.
"No, I meant what are they doing about it?" Tiso persisted.
"We have manged to get the Italian Front renamed the Slovak Front!" Kubela proudly announced.
"The Fuhrer has kindly allowed this renaming of the Italian Front." Von Killinger confirmed. "He is sure the Slovaks will die for him far more efficiently than the Italians ever did."
The Slovak Front. The Axis defenders are a formidable bunch even if they are dressed as Hungarians, along side the Fallschirmjäger there are a pair of tough Panzergrenadier units (20th and 90th) and the terminally confused men of the 1st Paratroop Panzer Division 'Hermann Göring'.
"And this will help with the defence how?" Tuka asked.
"It would militarily help, but we think it will improve morale." Malar admitted.
"It will really wind up the Hungarians and that always cheers the men up." Kubela beamed.
Tiso decided he had heard enough about the Slovak Front.
"What news from the East?" He asked.
"That's the Eastern Front of this war." Tuka angrily jumped in to prempt any discussion of the War in Fiji.
"The 1st (Heroes of Arad) Division is moving to secure the Romania Border defence line in Oradea." Kubela said gravely.
"What happened to the Salonta defence line?" Tiso asked.
"Salonta was in Romania, so it was the wrong place to try and hold the border. General Turanec is now moving into Hungary so he can mount a proper defence of the Romanian border from the correct side." Kubela said.
The 1st Division is heroically redeploying to Oradea, jewel in the crown of Northern Transylvania. If the Slovak's continue to fight this hard the city might survive the forthcoming battle long enough to be looted by the Soviets.
Tiso decided not to ask too much about that, it wouldn't make him happy. Or make any difference.
"And the Western Front?"
"General Jurech reports he is no longer being bombed by two RAF groups under the command of a mad Australian."
The general staff cheered up, but Tiso remained impassive and waited.
"Because is being bombed by three RAF groups under the command of a worrying good British commander."
Air Marshall Bottomley, one of the original heavy bomber barons has decided to abandon being Deputy Chief of the Air Staff to lead some Tactical Bombers and Multi-Role fighters to bomb Romilly. This is not going well for the Axis forces.
"General, I've always wanted to know. How can our commanders tell who is commanding the bombers attacking them?"
Malar and Kubela exchange an awkward glance before shrugging.
Tiso reached for hipflask, resolving to start the year as it was inevitably going to go on.
--
Notes:
We're back! It's a new year for Slovakia and it has started in the traditional manner; badly.
I continue to find the concept of Parachute-Panzer divisions amusing, even though the reality is fairly dull. I may have been too kind on the 90th PanzerGrenadiers by calling them tough, they did get destroyed in late 1944, the survivors hiding for a few months before surrendering to the Brazilian Expeditionary Force. As you do.
Finally, General von Gross-Zauche Sctrachwitz continues to have an amazing name and one which gets even better after research. His first name was Hyacinth, as in the flower, because he was named after a Polish saint. This was some sort of tradition, because when he had a son he gave it same first name, resulting in ; Hyacinth Gross-Zauche Sctrachwitz Junior. Which is majestic in anyone's book.
We return to Bratislava on New Year's Day where the Slovak cabinet is gathering to discuss their plans for the forthcoming year. Unless those plans include 'getting annexed' this is probably a waste of time, but that doesn't seem to be deterring them. General Kubela looked up in surprise as Tiso and Tuka entered the command shed.
"Vodca, I did not think you would be attending the Monday morning briefing." He said.
"We thought you'd be hungover after New Year's Eve drinking." Malar babbled.
Tiso pulled himself up and glared.
"I am not affected by such things." He announced.
"Supreme Vodca Tiso has been undisputed leader of Slovakia for over five years, this has given him plenty of reasons to practice drinking heavily." Tuka explained.
Tiso nodded, then gestured for the meeting to begin.
"The British have Szombathely." Kubela said dramatically.
"We don't care about their hygiene habits." Tuka snapped.
Malar and Kubela looked confused. Well more confused than usual.
"You told us the British had some baths lately. This news doesn't seem relevant to a military briefing." Tiso said.
"No they've captured the Hungarian city of Szombathely. That is less than 80miles from Bratislava." Kubela explained why this was actually news.
"Why are you quoting the distance in miles rather than kilometers." Tiso asked.
"Because they are the one true unit of measurement." Pruzinsky declared, mildly shocking the rest of the cabinet who thought he had disappeared.
"And kilometres were the same units the Czechs used." Tuka roared, prompting a round of disgusted spitting.
Tiso slowly counted to five before continuing.
"How is the General Staff reacting to this worrying news." He asked.
"Panicking." Malar confirmed his mastery of Slvoak literalness.
Tuka started cursing most of the military under his breath.
"No, I meant what are they doing about it?" Tiso persisted.
"We have manged to get the Italian Front renamed the Slovak Front!" Kubela proudly announced.
"The Fuhrer has kindly allowed this renaming of the Italian Front." Von Killinger confirmed. "He is sure the Slovaks will die for him far more efficiently than the Italians ever did."
The Slovak Front. The Axis defenders are a formidable bunch even if they are dressed as Hungarians, along side the Fallschirmjäger there are a pair of tough Panzergrenadier units (20th and 90th) and the terminally confused men of the 1st Paratroop Panzer Division 'Hermann Göring'.
"And this will help with the defence how?" Tuka asked.
"It would militarily help, but we think it will improve morale." Malar admitted.
"It will really wind up the Hungarians and that always cheers the men up." Kubela beamed.
Tiso decided he had heard enough about the Slovak Front.
"What news from the East?" He asked.
"That's the Eastern Front of this war." Tuka angrily jumped in to prempt any discussion of the War in Fiji.
"The 1st (Heroes of Arad) Division is moving to secure the Romania Border defence line in Oradea." Kubela said gravely.
"What happened to the Salonta defence line?" Tiso asked.
"Salonta was in Romania, so it was the wrong place to try and hold the border. General Turanec is now moving into Hungary so he can mount a proper defence of the Romanian border from the correct side." Kubela said.
The 1st Division is heroically redeploying to Oradea, jewel in the crown of Northern Transylvania. If the Slovak's continue to fight this hard the city might survive the forthcoming battle long enough to be looted by the Soviets.
Tiso decided not to ask too much about that, it wouldn't make him happy. Or make any difference.
"And the Western Front?"
"General Jurech reports he is no longer being bombed by two RAF groups under the command of a mad Australian."
The general staff cheered up, but Tiso remained impassive and waited.
"Because is being bombed by three RAF groups under the command of a worrying good British commander."
Air Marshall Bottomley, one of the original heavy bomber barons has decided to abandon being Deputy Chief of the Air Staff to lead some Tactical Bombers and Multi-Role fighters to bomb Romilly. This is not going well for the Axis forces.
"General, I've always wanted to know. How can our commanders tell who is commanding the bombers attacking them?"
Malar and Kubela exchange an awkward glance before shrugging.
Tiso reached for hipflask, resolving to start the year as it was inevitably going to go on.
--
Notes:
We're back! It's a new year for Slovakia and it has started in the traditional manner; badly.
I continue to find the concept of Parachute-Panzer divisions amusing, even though the reality is fairly dull. I may have been too kind on the 90th PanzerGrenadiers by calling them tough, they did get destroyed in late 1944, the survivors hiding for a few months before surrendering to the Brazilian Expeditionary Force. As you do.
Finally, General von Gross-Zauche Sctrachwitz continues to have an amazing name and one which gets even better after research. His first name was Hyacinth, as in the flower, because he was named after a Polish saint. This was some sort of tradition, because when he had a son he gave it same first name, resulting in ; Hyacinth Gross-Zauche Sctrachwitz Junior. Which is majestic in anyone's book.
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Good point about a bunch of bombed out Slovak cannon fodder knowing the name of the group commander bombing them. A free hip flask, filled with the finest (!) Vodca Vodka and inscribed with an inspiring and patriotic Social Realist poem (if such a thing can even theoretically exist), to whichever of Kubela or Malar can come up with a faintly plausible explanation.
So,1945 and the Allies seem to be the ones winning the Bratislava Marathon. This has to be least-worst news for T&T.
And Hyacinth? Nominative gold.
So,1945 and the Allies seem to be the ones winning the Bratislava Marathon. This has to be least-worst news for T&T.
And Hyacinth? Nominative gold.
There's an easy part and a tricky part to this answer. The easy part is that of course the British, being the arrogant teacups they are, regularly drop dud bombs on their enemies with painted lettering "Courtesy of Air Marshall So-and-So". Arrogant, perhaps, but with the potential side-effect of inspiring fear in their enemies by asserting their superiority in such a manner, and so not entirely unjustified as far as wasteful uses of munitions go.
The tricky part, and what has T&T confused here, is how the Slovak infantry with their poor Education tech levels are able to read the English writing on these dud bombs, in order to report back to HQ the name of Air Marshall So-and-So. A deep and impenetrable mystery, indeed.
I would say the finest minds in Slovakia are working on this problem, but I'm fairly sure the finest minds are Pruzinsky (who denies powered flight is possible) and Fritz (who would only get distracted by carpets). The Vodca Vodka will remain unclaimed I suspect.
And yes for T&T having the British win the Race to Bratislava at least gives them a chance of being allowed to speak at their trial, before inevitably being found guilty. They may even be found guilty of things they actually did rather.
This seems an excellent explanation, much better than anything Slovakia could come up with, so it shall become the official explanation.
You do forget that the Slovak Infantry are modern(ish) divisions, they are decades ahead of the rest of the country and so have mastered many things that the rest of Slovakia struggles with, like reading and comprehension. Naturally to provide replacements for losses the country is constantly drained of anyone with any sort of education, with catastrophic consequences on the rest of the nation. Hence why the Infantry can read English and use a Radio to report it, even as the rest of the country struggles with fire and pottery.
Modern infantry? Reading and writing? How typical of Slovakia to emphasize such things instead of combat ability and retrea--erm, formation drilling. No wonder the war is going so badly!
The Slovak divisions are getting plenty of practice at
But skipping combat ability training was an unfortunate oversight, thought not one that would have made any difference.
On which note, we return to Bratislava!