CBC World News – December 21st, 2012
December 21st, 2012
CBC World News
"The world today. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation now presents a summary of the all the important world news today. Reports from CBC correspondents by trans-America short wave radio, and the latest developments as received by the Canada's news room here in Ottawa. Tonight we will be reporting on the plague, as we all know, that has gripped the world."
"Zombies. That is what we now commonly refer to the general population infected with the virus. The plague appears to be only transferable through human fluid to fluid transfers. Such infections can be spread through biting, blood contact, kissing, or other intimate actions with the infected individuals. The USZCB (US Zombie Commission Board) has issued a statement asking uninfected individuals to refrain from performing any of the above actions."
"A common question we have been asked is 'How can you tell who is infected? How can you tell if you are infected?'. The answer to this is not as simple as it may seem. The virus seems to disable most coherent thought processes, making it hard to determine if you yourself are infected. However, tell-tale signs will help you determine if others have fallen victim."
"Does the individual in question seem to have an unending appetite for meat products? This craving can lead from raw animal meat, to actual human flesh. Does the individual seem to have limited motor functions? Does he or she limber around, as if their legs were made of stiff components?"
"How do you protect yourself? Outside, this virus spreads quickly. The military, as well as the USZCB, has asked people to remain indoors. Barricade the entrances to your home. Close all doors to your house that are not needed. Basement windows should be sealed off. Keep as much water onhad as possible, filling every container you can find with water. The military needs to quarantine the infected individuals, so remaining in your house in imperative. Failure to do so could cause sever risks to your health and safety. And finally, you will likely be stuck in your house for several weeks, if not more, so make sure you have a large stockpile on hand."
"For any further questions, you can phone the USZCB at....."
**No, this does not count as my update
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