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Saxony and the Great Erl

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Greatest Custom Title of All
Oct 17, 2002
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Date: 1419-1657
Country: Saxony

Hello this is my second AAR, hopefully it’ll be better than my first one.

Prologue

Winter…Cold and Brutal….Inside a cottage during a snowstorm 3 Km north of Sachsen, an old man sitting on a rocking chair by the fireplace with a pipe in his mouth, wakes up from a dream he had, readjusted himself to a comfortable position, scratched his long white beard, and slowly touched his face and felt the wrinkles of old age, then let out a sigh and re-lit his pipe. One of his grandchildren immediately stopped playing tag with his brothers and sisters and slowly walked up to his grandpa and sat on his lap. The old man gave a soft chuckle and his grandchild said to him in his childish high pitched voice. “Grandpa, will you tell me a story about my daddy and the great nation of Saxony? Will you? Please?” Smiling he said in a soft voice. “Of course dear, gather the rest of your brothers and sisters and ill tell you the story...” The child in great excitement literally leaped off his grandfather and gathered the others very quickly and they all sat down on the wooden floor in front of the fireplace staring at their grandfather. Silence filled the room and the only thing herd was the wood cracking in the fireplace. All the children staring in his eyes, saw him staring at the fire and saw the fire reflect off his old eyes.. And so, he cleared his throat, and begun telling the story of Saxony and the great Erl…
 
please express anything you wish to say here. Depending on how much people like/dislike it, will depend on weather I shall continue the story or not.
 
Please continue. Nice prologue.
 
Sounds interesting so far. I take it this is a Saxony AAR?
 
Good start, never played the country so I will read this one for sure;)
 
The story really starts on: May 5th 1525 though the game was started from 1419, but the reason for this is because from 1419-1525 there was not much really going on. But on May 5th 1525 I changed my mind and then... the story starts

The story is going to be written with a different approach and will go indirectly rather than the story being based on the monarch. Lets see if itll work!:D

heh... sorry this chapter is so messy

Chapter 1: Walden

"Well kids... From what I can remember, my great grandfather told the same story to my grandfather and to me, and it was your daddy...my son Erl who made our nation great and powerful! Now heres how it all started..."

Crossing the border returning to Anhalt from Hessen in the spring of 1533, a young boy about 10 years old named Rylan in his ragged dirty peasant clothes was skipping alongside his father Leof whom was pulling the reluctant cart full of merchandise that be brought with him downhill.."I think the axel allignment is messed up again" he muttered to himself. Feeling exausted from walking 15km with very short stops, he dropped the cart bars and walked several footsteps to an old tree and sat with his back resting on the trunk. Rylan observing the scenery saw the fresh green grass they were upon, average sized pine trees all green and full of life, walked to the edge of the large hill looking downward saw the town they were heading to: Walden. Turning toward his father and said at a small distance. "Papa, when do you suppose we will reach the town below? Looks like something is going on, there are many people gathering at the square" Already half asleep he said. "Don’t worry son, we’ll get there before the sun sets.." It was about noontime, and getting impatient Ryland walked over, shook his father awake and told him to get moving. "Oh alright, fine. But when we get there I'm going to the Inn and just leave me alone until next mornin? Alright boy?" "Yes papa." A couple hours pass before they near the town gate, and they can hear much going on. Getting anxious, Ryland runs straight past his father and ran to the town square. Seeing so many people, he squeezed himself between many people before reaching the front he saw a military commander with several soldiers on a wooden platform about to address the crowd. A boy half his age was next to him wearing almost the exact same clothes said to Ryalnd. “Hey friend, you made it in time, he’s about to start. We’ve been waiting for him to say the proclamation since no one in this town can read!” “So what have you guys been doing here for the past couple hours?” scratching his dirty head he replied “well, uh..umm, I dunno just talking I guess” Then a sudden “shhh” broke through the crowd, the commander rolled his shoulders, took off his hat and gave it to a soldier. He then began reading the proclamation of Friedrich III der Weise to the crowd
 
hummm..

Do you guys think I'm going to slow?
Should I write more per chapter?

Any feeback would be appreceated.
 
you are really a complexed writer, aren't you?:D

Here are my thoughts:

1. no one here thinks that a writer should be banned only because someone doesn't like an AAR...I, for one, enjoy most of them...I tend to ignore some of them, but, of course, I never forget the hard work behind them and thus I will never criticize them out loud. It's simply impolite.

2. write as you like, enjoy and feel.

3. i see you are attempting a narrative piece...my suggestions would be not necessarily to write more, but try to create a complex story and I assure you that this AAR will be a very hot commodity:D

4. create more paragraphs and break the unnecesary long and hard-to-read blocks of sentences
 
Originally posted by Alexandru H.
you are really a complexed writer, aren't you?:D

Here are my thoughts:
[...]

2. write as you like, enjoy and feel.

[...]

4. create more paragraphs and break the unnecesary long and hard-to-read blocks of sentences
Click to expand...

no not really, at least I dont think so.

response to thought 2: Yeah, but I would like to appease the audience!

response to 4: you're right...I should! :D
 
Chapter 2: Camp

“Soon there will be a war versus Hessian and By order of the king Friedrich III der Weise, men between the ages of 20-30 are needed in the Royal Army in the county of Anhalt which is being assembled south of here in the city of Annaburg-Buchholz. There is good pay which will feed your families and…” During the proclamation order with the Commander continuing it, spotting a drummer boy, Ryland thought to himself. “Wow…I want to join, I want to be a drummer boy, I can learn…I bet they get good money too.” As the commander’s voice fades back in. “…We are need of any kind of trooper and that will be all.”
Many townsmen headed over back to their cottages to get their weapons, then head over to the conscription centers, and more were debating with their wives if they could go or not. But Ryland… that little rascal, headed over to the conscription center and signed up as a drummer boy without his father knowing, then headed over to Annaburg-Buchholz, where the troops were mobilizing. When he reached the city, he saw a spectacle of thousands of Infantry in formations, officers shouting orders, supplies of gunpowder, rations and other things scattered everywhere with a group of cavalry passing by. Being assigned to the command of a well known officer, he headed over to the command tent where inside he saw a large map posted on the wall, seeing an officer turning around saying to another “Do not underestimate the Hessians, they are very good mercenaries, and so we will move our infantry to these locations where then the cavalry will flank them” Walking up to them, the officer seemed to tower over Ryland and said to him. “Boy aren’t you supposed to be with your daddy? Go home, this isn’t a playground” “But sir! I’m a drummer boy for a regiment here.” “Very well, go to the supply depot and retrieve a drum set and a uniform. Now run along, I have important matters to attend to”

Leaving the tent quickly and running to the supply depot where he got his things and got his regiment number XVI, looking around for awhile and finally spotting his regiment of gunmen which he spotted probably 100 men obviously all inexperienced, he entered formation and the leading officer walked up to him and said “you’re pretty small, and you are late. Carry on now, we’re moving out to our campsite. I know that you probably have to experience with the drum, you know, all we really use it for is just to keep the men together and keep up morale!” Seeing that he is a friendly guy he simply smiled. Shouting the order to march toward camp, they had quite some trouble keeping in formation and were a complete disaster. After marching for several km. west toward the border and beating random tunes on the drum, they finally reached camp and took the rest of the day off. Noticing that in his tent, his bunkmate was also a drummer slightly older than him possibly 11 years old, he introduced himself and they played marbles the rest of the day.

Chapter 3 (part 1 of 2): Battlefield Hessian

Waking up in the middle of the night after 4 days since departure, Ryland decided to write a letter to his father. First lighting the small lantern the army provided, he wrote on top of his covers. “Papa, I know you are worried about me, but I’ve joined the army as a drummer boy, and yes I know you are probably extremely mad at me for such a decision of mine, but I want to do this. Please understand, I’ll keep you updated on what happens” Sealing the letter he went to the dispatchers and gave the letter to them. As he was walking back to the tent, he stopped to look at the moon. “Heh reminds me of old scary stories papa used to tell me.” Taking a deep breath then a big sigh, he saw lines of tents going probably miles long and then wondered when they would fight. Then he walked back and fell asleep.

In the morning around 4:30 by his guess, he heard shouting outside, so he put on his cap and ran toward the commotion and asked a fellow soldier what was going on. “Well, it seems as if we’re gonna be fighting soon, so pack your gear and get ready!” Running back to his tent, he got all his gear ready within minutes and entered formation once again…late. Marching for about an hour, they finally saw the flags of the Hessians and they were waiting for the Saxons. The terrain was all flat with few trees. Green grass and air was only between the two armies. So, as Ryland’s regiment was assembled at their center the Hessians opened fire using the latest guns. Panicking, Ryland looking to his sides saw his comrades being killed really fast. Filling in the gaps, their officer in his feather hat shouted “Make ready! Present! Fire!!” The sounds of guns being shot was deafening and the smoke made everything hard to see. Sounds of guns being shot from both sides, and the smoke made everything hard to see. Then the bugle for the infantry and cavalry was heard to charge. Battle cries from both sides could be heard for miles, and the sound of steel and screams filled the scenery. Then it was Ryland’s regiment turn to charge, as they did, Ryland in fear
 
Originally posted by Languish
Dont worry about other peoples opinions, so long as you are enjoying it. Looks good so far :)
Click to expand...

yeah but I am "interested" in peoples opinions, and I am curious of what they have to say! :D
 
Well that is a shame...perhaps you will try your hand again with another AAR at some point...
 
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