John Gill and the Library of Alexander

Lt. Tyler,

I agree. It fascinates me to try and write AAR's about the forgotten countries. I was going to try an AAR on The Hedjez but they were so poor and so sad that I ended the game after I could get nothing going for 100 years. I may try them again someday and do something daring to try and get them going. My old rule of no DOW without CB may have to be suspended with The Hedjez.

And I have already practiced various horse jokes for use.

Buffalo, New York, USA, December 31, 2290. My name is John Gill. I am a historian and my current project is earth history, circa 1880. I have been investigating the mess that Egypt had become before the British moved in and assumed control. How could a nation with such a proud history fall so low that a national debt of £100 million gave the British and French empires the excuse they needed to take over control? Here is the way it has been recorded in history: "The canal opened up a shipping route from the Mediterranean to the Indian Ocean for the first time (avoiding going round Africa via the Cape of Good Hope). But in the process Egypt was tipped into bankruptcy, with a debt that grew from £3 million in 1863 to in 1879. The British and French had the excuse they needed to move in and establish dual financial control of Egypt." Sounds mighty convenient to me.

As is my style, I use time travel to go back to actually record history as it happened and not as it was recorded by the victors. As you may recall, I have found out earlier that I have a heritage in the Middle East, so I have a personnal stake in history recording an accurate account.

As I watch events unfold, I see that the Europeans pushed the Egyptians into this mess with "generous help." Hmppph. This I can change; this I can stop. Now, the question is, where should I change history to best help the Egyptians? Well, I don't want to go back too far or my changes may destroy humanity. I want to alter history and improve the lot for my Middle Eastern brethren.

After several days of pondering things, I decide on starting my changes on January 1, 1419. Why? Well, that was a quiet period in that region. In a few generations, the Ottomans would move in and conquor the region and we all know where they ended up.

That I must stop. This time, my Egytians will not fail.

As before, this game is unplayed. I will write about events as they happen, ruler by ruler. If a little humor sneaks in, well, don't say I didn't warn you!

GOAL: preservation of the Mamelukes so that they are never conquered by anybody. This goal may require us to destroy the Ottomans if we can. In the end, if I can force the English and French into bankruptcy, then so much the better.

Specific goals: conquer the entire Sunni Muslim world.

Restrictions: No declarations without a CB. Attempt to play a conservative game. No "gamey" maneuvers. No restarts, etc. If I crash and burn, then you get to read about my swoon and my excuses while I hear corrective actions from the peanut gallery. I will listen to comments from the peanut gallery and your comments will be used when possible to steer my course of actions.

I will write with a tongue-in-cheek kind of humor so I appologize ahead of time if I say anything that offends anybody.

Coming soon, the reign of al-Mu'aiyad Shaikh....

Chapter 1: Reign of al-Mu'aiyad Shaikh (1/1/1412 - 1/13/1421)

al-Mu'aiyad Shaikh was the Sultan over Mamelukes when I began my change. He was a competent Sultan of some ability (5-4-6).
History named him the Shaky Sultan. A name he merited.

First, let us look around our new home.

Army -- we have two huge armies - one of 10,000/12,000 in Samara and one or 10,000/10,000 in Alexander. Not exactly impressive.

Technology - everthing is at level 0. No big guns, no traders, nothing. No wander these people were conquered by the Ottomans. My grandmother's bridge foursome could conquer these guys. By noon. On a quiet day. Without breaking a sweat.

Religion - we have every possible religion within our boundaries, except there are no Shiite provences. (We are a Shiite country). This we will have to address pretty soon or stability problems will kill us. Before the granny foursome.

In short, no army, no technology, too many religions, no territories with our own religion, and the Ottomans to our North. Perhaps my work here will end soon as we get destroyed within a generation?

And as if that wasn't enough, stability starts at 0. And with our size, it would take years to improve.

First, we try and regain some stability. This will take a while. Also, we run around with the stray revolt. With four religions, we can't get the risk down to 0.

In 1420, some poor Schmo comes before the Sultan and prostrates himself...

"Oh fearless and great sultan.Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. who loves his people...."

At this point, the poor man noticed that the Sultan had dropped off to sleep.

The next morning, he tried again.

"Oh Great Sultan, I come before you to offer my service as a diplomat."

Shaky did not have the greatest attention span and thus short and sweet worked better with him. He sent off the poor man to the Omani to see if they were interested in an alliance of Shiite borthers. They were, and the Pair Pact was born. We will hear more of the Pair Pact in the future.

On Friday the 13th in January of 1421, Shaky stood on his balcony, looking out over his people. The ground shook. There was a great crack and his balcony fell down, crushing 5 of his people and instantly killing the poor Sultan. So ended the life of Shaky. So what.

Chapter 2: Reign of Muhammad I (1/13/1421 - 4/7/1422)

After the terrible earthquake that killed Shaky, the next sultan was Muhammad I (Muslim Man). The day of his coronation, Muslim Man called his advisors before the bald Sultan.

MM: "My children, We have seen that there is discord amoungst our children. We are here to bring love to all and show them the way to enlightenment. This will be Our quest. This will be our destiny. So let it be written, so let it be done"

The advisors left his presence and gathered in a nearby room.

Advisor 1 (A1): "Okay, what the hell does the new quack want?"

A2: "Damned if I know. But we better find something to do or somebody will lose their manhood. Quack or not, he is the Law."

Even though the request was silly, the plan the advisors came up with was solid. They had 3 religions in the land -- Catholic in one provence, Othradox in two provences and Sunni in the rest. They decided that if they could convert the these three provences to Shiite, then they would have only two religions in the land and things would be much more stable. However, they only had the money available to fund two missionaries, one to Lebanon (46%) and one to Cataract (49%).

In August of 1421, we discovered the meaning of the word TRADER and Holy spoke:

"Let us send out traders to all the markets of the world such that we may conduct business. So let it be written, so let it be done."

In December, the miserable people from the Sunni (spit when you say that) nation of Karaman crawl before our great Sultan:

Karaman Ambassador: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, we come before you in your Greatness to ask to join with you in alliance to stand against the terrible Turks."

Holy: "So let it be written, so let it be done."

Thus the Pair Pact now came to be known as the Syrian Alliance as it was signed in that fair land.

In January of 1422, we finally reach Stability 2 (being big and poor is not good for stability). To celebrate, the Sultan called for his advisors to come before him:

Holy: "We see that you have only tried to convert two of Our lands. Our commands were very clear. We will go with you and travel to Aleppo to begin the third conversion. So let it be written, so let it be done."

So it came to pass that Holy led the missionary on a trek to Aleppo. On the way, they came to the Nile. The river was in full flood. Holy rode to the front and called out:

"Fear not, my children. We will part the seas and lead you on to Aleppo. So let it be written, so let it be done."

While strong in belief, the Sultan was in the end really a looney. When he led his party into the Nile in full flood, the Sultan was swept away and drowned. The date was April 7, 1422.

The council next choose Barshay to rule them.

OOC: My appologies to Yul Brenner and Chuck Heston.

Chapter 3: Reign of Barsbay (4/7/1422 - 6/8/38) - Part 1

After the silly death of the lunatic Muslim Man, the council met to pick the next Sultan. There were two strong candidates, each with the backing of a significant faction. On the last day of deliberation, the Mullahs cried out for afternoon devotions. One of the candidates, Achmin Shaffa, immediately dropped to his knees, facing Mecca. The other candidate, Barsbay, ciontinued to talk with the council. After the insanity of Muslim Man, the council did not want a religious man. Ten minutes they had raised Barsbay to Sultan. Would they regret it? Barsbay was a fair leader (3-4-4) and has come to be known in history as Bombs Away Barsbay.

In June of that year, the Syrian Alliance had its first test as war broke out with the Georgians. The cause of war was not completely known, but it seemed that a peanut farmer in the southern corner of Georgia took offense to the Karaman ambassador and war was declared. We only gave moral support to the war and never sent a single soldier to fight. Bombs Away would not fight in a war where we had nothing to gain.

In 1423, Baku Sadig, the minister of war, ran into the throne room.

BS: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness to show you a great new weapon of war that will allow us to crush all before us."

Bombs: "Now I will hit like a hammer, crush like a slammer."

(OOC: land 1 reached, we are a power to be feared)

In 1423, Aden sees the light and joins the Syrian Alliance making us a regional power to be feared.

to be continued in part 2.....

Chapter 3: Reign of Barsbay (4/7/1422 - 6/8/38) - Part 2

The rest of 1423 passed peacefully. Late in November, nobles from two provences in Aleppo came before the Sultan:

Noble from the town of Pe'el: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness to listen to my plea. My people have a perition for you against those dredges of the town of Ghrimes. Will you grant my request?"

Bombs Away considered there request for two weeks. finally, on November 26, he gave his decision:

"Oh scum from Aleppo, as much as it pains us to have to say this, We cannot grant you your wish against Ghrimes. We decree instead that there will henceforth be a day of feasting on this day to celebrate the ending of this feud."

So it came to pass, that on the third thursday in November that the people of Pe'el and of Ghrimes celebrated life with a day of feasting.

In 1424, Naval level 1 is reached as our rowboats got a little bigger. Six months later, this was followed up with the achievement of infra 1. Bombs Away declared:

"Our carreer is to fear as we are really here!"

In May of 1425, the peasentry became very unhappy at the Sultan who did nothing but talk the talk, he never faught back. Riots broke out in Lebanon and were only quieted down when the Sultan passed an internal trade ordinance in Lebanon.

In 1427, the ambassador from Dulkadir Ge'orgi Bushki threw up on the Sultan's third wife at a state dinner. While a terrible embarassment, nobody was willing to go to war over this.

Coming soon in part 3 of the reign of Bombs Away, the first real war of the game!!!.....

Chapter 3: Reign of Barsbay (4/7/1422 - 6/8/38) - Part 3

Stability continued its slow road to nowhere as we finally reached level 2 in April of 1428.

In April of 1428, the Inquisition in Cataract ended with a success (49%, 1 for 1 so far). The Mullahs rang the bells from every Mosque.

In August of 1428, the Inquisition in Lebanon also ended in success (46%, 2 for 2 so far). That Friday, the Mullahs had a new song written to sing the glory of Moslem Man. There are no no more Catholics in our realm and we reset religious tolerances, dropping the revolt risk to 0 everywhere. For some reason, this seems to upset the Merchants and we lost 200 Dinars in investments there.

In September of 1429, the final Inquisition in Aleppo ended, also in success. (OOC: I don't think I ever hit 3 for 3 in conversions before). Now there were no more Orthodox territories in our fair land. As if to celebrate this, a month later we finally achieved Stability 3 - look out world, here we come! We decided to celebrate this great event by building up our infrastructure in the provences by introducing tax collectors. Not a popular move, but an important move, none-the-less.

We also began to build a galley fleet for the Red Sea during this period.

In 1432, Bombs Away appointed Kholin Pow'l to be his new Minister-Without-Portfolio. This was found to be an excellent choice, as Kholin was a fabulous minister. One of his first moves was to have the Syrian Alliance honour a war that was breaking out when the Khaliphate declares war on one of our allies. Oman failed to honour her commitments to the Syrian Alliance and was expelled. This war became known as the Kaliphate Conflict. This was a popular war among the people as there were pro-war rallies from one end of the empire to the other. In fact, the good citizens of Aleppo were so thrilled to be involved in a war that they passed the collection turban and built a war manufactory on thier own. Allah bless them for 35 generations!

When Kholin brought the news of the war to his Sultan, the following conversation followed:

Kholin: : "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness to tell you of a great war that has broken out between our alliance and the Kaliphate under their leader Jho Fra'azeere. I await anxiously to hear in my humble way what words of wisdom I shall take from thei crisis."

BA: "We have only one thing to say to Smokin' Jho, Bombs Away in three (years)."

The Kaliphate War changed in tone after the first year. One-by-One, each of the allies dropped out after getting money from the Kaliphate. In the end. only the Mamelukes and the Kaliphate were left at war. This was fine as we took by siege both provences of that dastardly kingdom. At the peace tables, our terms were just -- we would gain possession of Basrah and military access. The Kaliphate War was over.

As we assumed possession of Basrah, we discovered libraries with vast knowlege. The tomes here were carried off to Alexandria and formed the basis for a renaisance in the Kingdom. In January of 1437, we reached trade 2 due to knowlege uncovered from these books.

In October of 1437, we brought Qara Koyunlu in to the Syrian Alliance to replace the expelled Omani. The Omani took offense to this and sent to Lebanon a gift of a giant horse. Unlike Greek legend, though, instead of soldiers in this horse, there were victoms of the plague. The plague infested the territory and the death was horrible. God will smite the Omani for this act!

The plague ran rampant for months. Bombs Away insisted on visiting his people in their time to need. However, in the end, the plague won as Bombs Away fell victom to it in June of 1438.

LT - Lose to the Ottomans, never, never, never. Mamelukes are Shiite and will stay that way. These stability costs will slow me down as I have to save and convert. Luckily the percents for most are pretty good so I can hope to do this relatively quickly. Otherwise a big war and a few bad events and I would splinter like a bad piece of wood.

Chapter 4: Reign of Jaqmaq (6/8/38 - 2/13/1453)

Bombs Away had contracted the Plague while touring his citizens in ravaged Lebanon. The disease spread rapidly. Bombs was determined to avoid a struggle for power and called his advisors before him in his bed chambers. His words were recorded by his scribe, but much of the speech was inaudible from the rapidly failing Sultan.

"Our (inaudible) citizens, We call (inaudible). We have decided on our successor. He will finish this war in the way We would have. Therefore, my citizens, Our next Sultan will be (inaudible)."

At this point, the failing Sultan lapsed into a coma from which he would never awaken. Late that night, he passed away. The date was June 8, 1438.

The council met the next morning to pick a new Sultan. No one new for sure who was the selected successor. Nine candidates claimed the throne that day and seven more the next day. For days the power struggle continued.

On the 15th, the ambassador from Qara Koyunlu, Bil'i Caertrie, broke into the room where the debate was raging.

Bil'i: "My Lords, terrible news. My country has been attacked by Ak Koyanlu (AK) for no reason. They have been joined by the dastardly Dulkadir in this naked agression. We call upon the Syrian Alliance to honour their commitments and come to our aid."

The council errupted in arguments. One faction wanted nothing to do with this war and favored isolation. The other faction believed in honour and the word of the Mamelukes in the treaty. A third faction saw in this an opportunity for territorial or monetary gains. In the end, the last two factions merged and supported the war hawk Jaqmaq. By midnight, he was proclaimed the next Sultan. He was a man of some promise (4-5-6).

The war was long and hard faught. In the end, the strength of our arms carried us to victory. In the Treaty of Tab'uli on April 22, 1440, the Mamelukes gained two territoreis, Nuyssaybin and Azerbaijan and AK becomes our vassal.

After the war, we rebuilt our troops and some of our relations that were damaged by our gains.

In the rest of the world, Ragusa is doing very well and now controls three territories.

After beginining his reign in war, now the country got to see Jaqmaq in peace. He was a good administrator. His good government policies helped some of our research. This led to his nickname that history remembers him for : Big Mac Attack.

Coming soon to a history book near you, part two of the Big Mac Attack and the first War with the Timurids.....

Chapter 4: Reign of Jaqmaq (6/8/38 - 2/13/1453), part 2

Things continued peacefully into 1444. That year, the ambassador from Qara Koyunlu, Bil'i Caertrie once again came before the Sultan.

Bil'i: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness to tell you of a great war that has broken out between our alliance and the unspeakable Timurids. They have been raping and robbing our women simply because they are Shiite rather then Sunni (spit when you say that). I await anxiously to hear in my humble way what words of wisdom I shall take from thei crisis."

Big Maq replied with a simple command: "Go my generals and return with either their manhood on a platter. Or yours."

Well, nothing motivates an army rather then fear of castration, so our mighty troops marched off to war. As they left, they sang the following ditty:

"Dump the enemy in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you've finished, if any are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!"

OOC: I lifted this from a famous book and changed only one word. 100 ducats to the first to name the source!

The war was swift and vicious (what did you expect with what the Mameluke troops had on the chopping block!). In the peace treaty the next year, we recieved Isfahan, Awhaz and Fars. The markets at Isfahan quickly returned to normal with bustling traders harking their wares. The good Shiites of these provences were so glad to be under our glorious rule that the citizens of Fars built a fort on their own and presented it to Big Mac.

As the years went on, the servents of Big Mac were amazed at the size of his harem. Within a few years, he had 35 wives. By 1445, he had 52 wives. And each bore at least one child! Hias legacy began to spread. As the years kept rolled by, the servents began to talk about his vitality. No man could do so much without help from some herbs!

In 1448, Big Mac suddenly kicked all 61 women from his harem out. The ladies were banished without anything more then the wrap around their body. The servents began to whisper and question the sanity of any sultan who would evict so many lovely ladies!

In 1450, the small fleet of Galleys we had built in the Red Sea set sail for Massana off the coast of Africa. A small army of 12,000 under General Hernadi Khortiez landed and destroyed the natives infesting the area to a man. We then planted the Mameluke flag there and claimed the land for all eternity as our own.

This year the harem of the Sultan reached 61 wives. The nation was in awe.

The ambassador from Ethiopia, Baku M'langa, asked for an audience with the Sultan after our colony was established:

BM: "Oh excrement from a sand flea, you have planted your flag on our sacred land. Remove it or die."

The ambassador then turned and left the palace. The shocked Sultan called in his advisors.

Big: "Okay, We have been insulted in the vilest ways. We must respond in force."

Advisors: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness. I would love to fulfill your every wish. But there is one small, infinitesimel, tiny little problem -- we don't know were the Ethipia is! What shall we do?"

Big: "Find it"

So men were sent out in all directions looking for this land of Ethipia. Several new nations were founds northo of India and several new Indian states were discovered. But no Ethiopia! However, the knowledge uncovered by these explorers led to advances in our technology and Land 2 was reached. This mullified the Sultan some who let the explorers live, even with no knowlege of Ethiopia.

The harem reached the amazing total of 70 wives.

In Sepember of 1451, Bil'i Caertrie last time came before the Sultan: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness. We have been called again to defend our allies against the Timurids. What shall be our response. Pouf Pouf (Bil'i was exhausted )

The war began. We swept in.

We came.

We saw.

We conquered.

Big Maq died.

Seventy beautiful ladies wailed and cried.

Chapter 5: Reign of Inâl (2/13/1453 - 2/25/1461)

Big Mac died in the middle of a war. The council had no time for debate, and chose the first son of his first wife, Inâl, to succeed him. Inâl was a fair leader (5-5-5) and came to be known in the history books as The Scourge of the East for his war against the Timurids.

Upon convening his council after the transfer of power, Scourge got a review of the status of the war. The War Minister, Sabi Jackii, stood up in the war chamber and spoke:

Sabi: "Oh fearless and great sultan. Who rules over both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinite wisdom and infinite patience with the lowest form of dirt that I am. Who knows all that there is to know. Who loves his people, I come before you in your Greatness to tell you of the progress of our great war that has broken out between our alliance and the unspeakable Timurids.

So far, we have taken from those vile creatures seven territories and have three more under siege. They have little or no troops to oppose us. We are on the verge of the greatest victory in the history of the Shiites since the time of the original Caliphs. What say you, oh Terrible One."

Scourge: "My Daddy was a great leader and I only hope to be the Scourge that he was. We will continue the war until we have utterly vanquished our foe. Bring me the family jewels of their leader. You have three years."

Thus the war continued and territories fell quickly. On December 15, 1453, the Timurids collapsed and the war ended. We surveyed the lands to see what had transpired. We had accomplished what no other Sultan had done. We now had control of Elbruz, Merched, Kharasan, Birjand, Kerman, Lut, Mekran, Baluchistan, and Kalat. Our loyal allies the Hedgez obtained Hamadan. The down side of all this is that we are now viewed by the whole world as dishonorable scum.

The strain of the war and the hatred directed towards Scrouge after the war seemed to break him.

A few months after this, the Omani ambassador, Sahib Dicasi came before Scourge:

"Oh dishonorable sultan. Who rules over lands stolen from both Heaven and Earth. Who has infinitesimal wisdom and even less patience with the lowest form of dirt that you are. Who knows nothing that there is to know. Who hates his people, I come before you in your Lowness to tell you that you are worse then even the rotting corpses of the citizens of lands you stole."

With that Sahib turned and walked out.

Scourge almost declared war that moment. However, he decided that to open more wars now could set all the Muslem world after him. He decided to ignore the insult and wait. Scourge did nothing.

Word of his cowardly behavior towards this insult led to riots from one end of the empire to the other. Scourge did nothing.

In 1457, we discovered Ethiopia. Scourge did nothing.

By 1460, our reputation recovered a bit so that the world only looked on us as very bad. Scourge did nothing.

On February 25, 1461, the servants came in to the royal bedchamber and found Scourge was dead. They didn't care. He was nothing.

MrT glad you like it so far. Hope the next few chapters keep up your interest.