The Leiv of Brian
Quick summary of facts: GC game as Norway (okay, Mimir already has one AAR going, but, being a bit incompetent at EU II, mine will have a different… look and feel). Settings: Normal in every way. No alterations made otherwise, apart from renaming “Christiania” to “Oslo” and “Kirkenes” to “Vardøhus”. Added some Norwegian random leader names.
This is my first AAR, and my games are seldom very successful, but I’ll give it a shot. The aim of the game: To stay alive, maybe find Greenland.
To the story…
Our hero, Duke Leiv of Brian, is of somewhat cloudy Norse descent, and comes from the former Norse lands around Dublin (it is suspected he is known as Leiv O’Brien). He is granted some land in Norway, Infertilelandsforyourpleasure, but Leiv renames it to Brian. And so he becomes Leiv of Brian, Most Respected Royal Adviser. Strictly speaking, Sigurd Jonsson, his overlord, wasn’t really a king. As Norway was part of The Kalmar Union, Erik of Pommern was formally the king.
We now give you Leiv’s views on settling in in Norway:
“Okay, so Ireland isn’t that great. But it is better than this cold, god-forsaken country. I arrived by ship in some place called Oslo. It was wet, cold and not much of a place at all. I asked to be taken to the castle of Sigurd Jonsson. I was led through sludge and snow, and arrived at this… pile of stones and a tower. So this was what passed as a castle in this country? Well, my new employer, Mr. Jonsson, the leader of the Council of Norway, seemed nice enough. He even offered me a meal. It was fish. Seems as if fishy is what this country is. There hardly lives any people here, and those who do, spend most of their time at sea fishing. But do they have a navy? Ooooh, no. God forbid! And this is where those Vikings came from? I’ve seen more dangerous people in monasteries in Ireland. Speaking of which, there apparently is quite a few of them here too. And the church is mighty. Bit like Ireland, then. Later that week, I was shown my estate. It was rocking. Or rocky, more like it. When I asked if there were any serfs or vassals to my estate, the knight accompanying me shrugged and laughed. – “Haven’t been many serfs here since the plague, Leiv”. Right. No serfs. And what shall I grow here? Unless there is a great market for shrubberies and gravel in Norway, I’ll starve to death.
So I had to work, then. I attended the Council’s meetings at “the castle”, or “the pile of rubbish”, as I shall call it. First of all, we needed to decide what to do about our domestic policy. I suggested that we went for freeing the subjects even more. Since there hardly are subjects here anyway, it won’t hurt. And the Council concurred. Apparently, two local lords up in Trøndelag disliked this, and their wives told some other nobles’ wives, and our stability fell.
Now, this Kalmar Union business was a rather tough on us. We had to send money to Copenhagen. I usually had my parents sending me money, but strongly disliked the notion of not being on the receiving end. And it also meant that the Danish king Erik of somewhere would be our suzerain. And that we were allied to Sweden and Denmark.
This was of course a sure way of getting into the hair of all our neighbours. Sweden went first, and in March, they declared war against Novgorod. Denmark failed to honour this alliance, and went on a solo effort against most of Northern Germany. Now, apparently there was such a thing as a “Norwegian Army”. It was under the command of colonel Sigurdsson. He was as good a commander as could be expected, but the army at his disposal was disastrously ill prepared for war. Sigurd Jonsson and I inspected these troops, and made the informed decision not to let these rag-tag soldiers loose on Novgorod just yet. They would all desert before they had reached Trøndelag.
Come April, we dispatch the bulk of our army to Kola. Come sometime later that year, they arrive and conquer the province. This victory is celebrated by eating ill-tempered sea bass at the pile of rubbish. Orders are given to Sigurdsson to march on Karelia and Arkanghelsk. He obliges, but writes back to tell us “It’s quite cold up here. Please send woollen underpants”. So we do, and thereafter eat the messenger pigeon. It was a nice bird.
By Christmas (spent on estate trying to cook gravel), we controlled the provinces Kola, Karelia and Arkhangelsk. And we had 5000 men up there. All freezing and eating ice cubes for their dinners. Time to sue for peace? Well, the Novgorodians were being trashed by the Swedes, and our only pitched battle against them (in Olonets) had ended with them running for their lives. Apparently, our troops smell of fish, too. So, we offered them to take the province of Kola off their hands. The agreed. Our troops return to Kola, to feast on beaver and furry creatures unknown to me. I inspect gravel and make snowballs.
So now we had one more province. Since the church enforces its will rather… well, at will in this country, there are several people willing to leave and go to the new land of Kola. We pay their journey and tell them to “Stay cool”. According to colonel Sigurdsson, this is an easy thing to do. Fishy character, he is.
We also dig deep into the coffers at the pile of rubbish and find money to promote our bailiff in Østlandet. This is a lengthy process (much like cooking gravel), and will not be finished until 1421. And so we wait.
The Merchants of Norway (not to be confused with the ones in Venice) are ready to go to Mecklemburg. We let them go. We need money. Lots of it. Well, this damned place needs most things. I tried to chat up the neighbour girl, but since I had walked 20 miles just to get to their fence (also gravel producers and fish eaters, it seems), I was sweaty and smelling of Sigurd Jonsson’s “rakfisk” (for those who wonder what this is, it involves adding poison to the fish, then digging it into the ground, leaving it until it’s really smelly, and then eating it), so I was rejected.
So, here I sit, Lord Leiv of Brian, with no wife and just a handful of cold gravel to help me through the night.
International affairs.
We try to get some new blood into the country by dispatching Jonsson’s niece to England. There she marries some relative of the king. Why he married her, I don’t know, as no other country wants our girls. Could be the fish smell, I suppose. Or the ragged clothes. Or their inclination towards drinking.
In 1421, somebody had been eating too much “rakfisk” and spotted a comet. Not even the firm reassurance from the Archbishop of Nidaros could calm the people. The four or five of them still living here. They were all convinced this was the end of the world. On a brighter note, the gravel business had an exceptional year. We raise a few troops in Oslo to guard the pile of rubbish. Then we discover that the province of Iceland actually has pledged its allegiance to the Norwegian crown. We send a contingent of settlers to celebrate. Then Sigurd and I have some “rakfisk” and seawater to celebrate.
Time passes quickly when you’re researching more efficient ways of making gravel. Soon it became apparent that the Union of Kalmar wasn’t more than an empty phrase. The Swedes cancelled their vassalisation with Denmark. What would we do? Well, we had either the choice of becoming a part of Denmark. The idea seemed tempting, but it seemed that I would be out of work if we did that. I therefore argued against it. I held an inspired speech to the Council.
‘Are we not proud of our fish? Our gravel? Our rocks and salty seawater? Are we not worthy of being a kingdom of our own? I say, let us shed the Union of Balmoral.. ehm… Kalmar, and crown our own kings, and feast upon the rocks of the land. Let us be proud of our fishy smell! Send forth the “rakfisk” and let us crown Sigurd Jonsson as our king!’.
And so we did. This led to people being very suspicious of our activities and our stability was far from good. It could be that we should try to find a substitute for the “rakfisk”.
Quick summary of facts: GC game as Norway (okay, Mimir already has one AAR going, but, being a bit incompetent at EU II, mine will have a different… look and feel). Settings: Normal in every way. No alterations made otherwise, apart from renaming “Christiania” to “Oslo” and “Kirkenes” to “Vardøhus”. Added some Norwegian random leader names.
This is my first AAR, and my games are seldom very successful, but I’ll give it a shot. The aim of the game: To stay alive, maybe find Greenland.
To the story…
Our hero, Duke Leiv of Brian, is of somewhat cloudy Norse descent, and comes from the former Norse lands around Dublin (it is suspected he is known as Leiv O’Brien). He is granted some land in Norway, Infertilelandsforyourpleasure, but Leiv renames it to Brian. And so he becomes Leiv of Brian, Most Respected Royal Adviser. Strictly speaking, Sigurd Jonsson, his overlord, wasn’t really a king. As Norway was part of The Kalmar Union, Erik of Pommern was formally the king.
We now give you Leiv’s views on settling in in Norway:
“Okay, so Ireland isn’t that great. But it is better than this cold, god-forsaken country. I arrived by ship in some place called Oslo. It was wet, cold and not much of a place at all. I asked to be taken to the castle of Sigurd Jonsson. I was led through sludge and snow, and arrived at this… pile of stones and a tower. So this was what passed as a castle in this country? Well, my new employer, Mr. Jonsson, the leader of the Council of Norway, seemed nice enough. He even offered me a meal. It was fish. Seems as if fishy is what this country is. There hardly lives any people here, and those who do, spend most of their time at sea fishing. But do they have a navy? Ooooh, no. God forbid! And this is where those Vikings came from? I’ve seen more dangerous people in monasteries in Ireland. Speaking of which, there apparently is quite a few of them here too. And the church is mighty. Bit like Ireland, then. Later that week, I was shown my estate. It was rocking. Or rocky, more like it. When I asked if there were any serfs or vassals to my estate, the knight accompanying me shrugged and laughed. – “Haven’t been many serfs here since the plague, Leiv”. Right. No serfs. And what shall I grow here? Unless there is a great market for shrubberies and gravel in Norway, I’ll starve to death.
So I had to work, then. I attended the Council’s meetings at “the castle”, or “the pile of rubbish”, as I shall call it. First of all, we needed to decide what to do about our domestic policy. I suggested that we went for freeing the subjects even more. Since there hardly are subjects here anyway, it won’t hurt. And the Council concurred. Apparently, two local lords up in Trøndelag disliked this, and their wives told some other nobles’ wives, and our stability fell.
Now, this Kalmar Union business was a rather tough on us. We had to send money to Copenhagen. I usually had my parents sending me money, but strongly disliked the notion of not being on the receiving end. And it also meant that the Danish king Erik of somewhere would be our suzerain. And that we were allied to Sweden and Denmark.
This was of course a sure way of getting into the hair of all our neighbours. Sweden went first, and in March, they declared war against Novgorod. Denmark failed to honour this alliance, and went on a solo effort against most of Northern Germany. Now, apparently there was such a thing as a “Norwegian Army”. It was under the command of colonel Sigurdsson. He was as good a commander as could be expected, but the army at his disposal was disastrously ill prepared for war. Sigurd Jonsson and I inspected these troops, and made the informed decision not to let these rag-tag soldiers loose on Novgorod just yet. They would all desert before they had reached Trøndelag.
Come April, we dispatch the bulk of our army to Kola. Come sometime later that year, they arrive and conquer the province. This victory is celebrated by eating ill-tempered sea bass at the pile of rubbish. Orders are given to Sigurdsson to march on Karelia and Arkanghelsk. He obliges, but writes back to tell us “It’s quite cold up here. Please send woollen underpants”. So we do, and thereafter eat the messenger pigeon. It was a nice bird.
By Christmas (spent on estate trying to cook gravel), we controlled the provinces Kola, Karelia and Arkhangelsk. And we had 5000 men up there. All freezing and eating ice cubes for their dinners. Time to sue for peace? Well, the Novgorodians were being trashed by the Swedes, and our only pitched battle against them (in Olonets) had ended with them running for their lives. Apparently, our troops smell of fish, too. So, we offered them to take the province of Kola off their hands. The agreed. Our troops return to Kola, to feast on beaver and furry creatures unknown to me. I inspect gravel and make snowballs.
So now we had one more province. Since the church enforces its will rather… well, at will in this country, there are several people willing to leave and go to the new land of Kola. We pay their journey and tell them to “Stay cool”. According to colonel Sigurdsson, this is an easy thing to do. Fishy character, he is.
We also dig deep into the coffers at the pile of rubbish and find money to promote our bailiff in Østlandet. This is a lengthy process (much like cooking gravel), and will not be finished until 1421. And so we wait.
The Merchants of Norway (not to be confused with the ones in Venice) are ready to go to Mecklemburg. We let them go. We need money. Lots of it. Well, this damned place needs most things. I tried to chat up the neighbour girl, but since I had walked 20 miles just to get to their fence (also gravel producers and fish eaters, it seems), I was sweaty and smelling of Sigurd Jonsson’s “rakfisk” (for those who wonder what this is, it involves adding poison to the fish, then digging it into the ground, leaving it until it’s really smelly, and then eating it), so I was rejected.
So, here I sit, Lord Leiv of Brian, with no wife and just a handful of cold gravel to help me through the night.
International affairs.
We try to get some new blood into the country by dispatching Jonsson’s niece to England. There she marries some relative of the king. Why he married her, I don’t know, as no other country wants our girls. Could be the fish smell, I suppose. Or the ragged clothes. Or their inclination towards drinking.
In 1421, somebody had been eating too much “rakfisk” and spotted a comet. Not even the firm reassurance from the Archbishop of Nidaros could calm the people. The four or five of them still living here. They were all convinced this was the end of the world. On a brighter note, the gravel business had an exceptional year. We raise a few troops in Oslo to guard the pile of rubbish. Then we discover that the province of Iceland actually has pledged its allegiance to the Norwegian crown. We send a contingent of settlers to celebrate. Then Sigurd and I have some “rakfisk” and seawater to celebrate.
Time passes quickly when you’re researching more efficient ways of making gravel. Soon it became apparent that the Union of Kalmar wasn’t more than an empty phrase. The Swedes cancelled their vassalisation with Denmark. What would we do? Well, we had either the choice of becoming a part of Denmark. The idea seemed tempting, but it seemed that I would be out of work if we did that. I therefore argued against it. I held an inspired speech to the Council.
‘Are we not proud of our fish? Our gravel? Our rocks and salty seawater? Are we not worthy of being a kingdom of our own? I say, let us shed the Union of Balmoral.. ehm… Kalmar, and crown our own kings, and feast upon the rocks of the land. Let us be proud of our fishy smell! Send forth the “rakfisk” and let us crown Sigurd Jonsson as our king!’.
And so we did. This led to people being very suspicious of our activities and our stability was far from good. It could be that we should try to find a substitute for the “rakfisk”.