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unmerged(7823)

Marauder
Feb 17, 2002
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This is my first time really actually writing an AAR, inspired after recently playing tons of other different games on consoles and the computer. It'll begin rather fantastically, beginning in a rather depressing vision of the future some time in the 31st century, then move on into the actual game proper, so I apologize beforehand for it if any futuristic concepts don't make sense because 1) you guys aren't into this type of thing and 2) I used them improperly. :D Then again, Aberration itself is also a fantasy.

There's also going to be a lot of script format in it.

Some preliminary information:

Game Version: EU2 1.08 with Aberration 1.06 installed.
Country: There are hints as to who the country as soon as I finish who I'm going to be using in my next post. It's definitely someone with a presence in the British Isles, is all I'll say at this point.
Settings: Easy/Furious. It's on Easy because I am a pusillanimous wimp- that and I haven't played EU2 in a while.
Goals: Just to have fun and maybe write something interesting, the goal of all writers.

Well, hopefully I'll be finished writing the first part soon.
 
Interesting...Never heard of Abberation 1.06 (or any of the aberrations)...Is it something you made yourself?
 
AmbassadeBelgie: Aberration is a sort of alternate history Grand Campaign scenario. See more here.

Stroph1: Thanks for that vote of confidence. :D
 
Good luck with the AAR, then:D As I said, looks interesting... Are you going to play Scotland? :eek: (Oh, yeah, forgot..."All will be revealed" ;))

**4 more posts to 500!!!!!!!!**
 
ARC I: MONK

It was several years since the galaxy had known peace. When one thought about it, Karl Marx and his dialectical ideas made him a prophet. Yeah, a goddamn prophet- humanity lived under one repetitive, destructive, rapacious cycle. When MONK thought about it, it was disgusting, really. People had one thing, people wanted another, then there was some conflict, some war that covered a whole planet and usually got other planets involved, and then there was some mix of both sides' demands that really satisfied no one. Well, that's not exactly how Marx put it, MONK just 'embellished' it was all.

AAR001.jpg

Our hero, MONK. His name stands for Mercenary Operative for Neutralization and Killing.

3026 BCE. Everybody stopped using AD within the Conglomerate, since religion had been banned on the planet. Imagine this irony! The planet was under the iron-fisted grip of some intergalactical corporation called the Conglomerate who claimed that religion simply served as a way for people to kill each other over whose imaginary friend was better. Well, that's probably not how the Conglomerate put it, MONK just 'embellished' it was all.

AAR003.jpg

The CEO of the Conglomerate, Helmer Quincy

Oh yeah, the irony. You know, the Conglomerate probably killed off more people forcing the original colonists of the planet off the land, then abusing the planet's resources with a vengeance, industrializing it into a veritable robotic paradise for... A tiny bit of human habitation. What, five, or six people? Well, that's probably not how the construction companies put it (they called it terraforming), MONK just 'embellished' it was all.

AAR004.jpg

The current status of another planet the Conglomerate had 'terraformed', Mars. This is probably how Alpha Centauri is going to end up, as well, unfortunately.

Not that it mattered to MONK. He was a bit neutral in all of this, being just another mercenary for the Conglomerate. Although he was hired by the Conglomerate and going to end up fighting against their biggest enemy, the Convention, that was what he felt. Galactic concerns were really not the kind of thing he cared about, though that didn't mean he couldn't make observations on it like those half-assed philosophers from a thousand years ago.

In 2448, the Earth had finally united into one large supernation. But the Earth had one big problem, something that statisticians, scientists, physicians, and doomsayers had been predicting ever since the twentieth century- overpopulation. So plans to colonize the rest of the galaxy seemed to be the logical step to solve this problem. People went on other planets, terraforming them in the image of their original planet. A single company had financed all such expeditions, known as the Conglomerate. In the name of charity, they had financed Earth's attempts to move off into other places not of their world.

But the Conglomerate eventually had other plans. In 2602, there had been many breakthroughs, not the least of which was lightspeed travel to other galaxies... Including the one closest to the Milky Way, Andromeda. After many of the Andromeda planets had been properly terraformed and colonized, the head chairman of the Conglomerate and the owner of the most controlling stock of the Conglomerate, Quincy, decided that his company and all of its' holdings would 'declare independence' on the basis that he no longer wanted ‘his people’ to get dragged up in the history of ‘religious wars’ and ‘mob violence’ that plagued Earth, intending to create his own idealistic society whose base was his immense fortune.

This came as a bit of a shock to Earth Nation, and it wasn't until Conglomerate-controlled troops actually opened fire on Earth troops that the Conglomerate was taken seriously. The name change from Earth to the Convention came later after other countries, groups, and organizations came under scrutiny, and some were kicked out, some were wiped out, on the basis of whether or not they were ‘atheistic’ like the Conglomerate were. How the mighty go backwards… Backpedaling into narrowminded fundamentalism. Such actions were highly supported and propagandized by a radical and evangelical Convention official named Mccarthin, whose name sounded suspiciously like a certain witch-hunting senator of a North American country in a previous era. With such irresponsible fingerpointing, cracks in the leadership of the Convention were visible. Supposing that the Conglomerate were defeated, it was likely that the Conventions' members would then fight against each other.

MONK's mission was simple- make a landing on the Convention's home planet Earth, and extract the scientists from the Conglomerate's secret lab on Eurasia. Funny that the secret lab was on Eurasia, easily the most heavily defended area on Earth. There were enough gun emplacements on, what did they call that place? France? To take down several fleets of S-Class ships.

But then again, challenges like this were all MONK lived for. It helped him liven up to the rather bleak outlook he had on his surroundings. Hell, he might even die this time. That'd be something to see... But that was doubtful- because MONK was the best there was.

December 31st, 3026 B.C.E.

Grant: Well, this is going to be interesting.

MONK looks up from his usual gun maintenance.

MONK: ... What?

Grant: The first HALO jump from a ship going through re-entry in centuries, of course. And in enemy territory like this?

Jamin Grant turned away from MONK and walked over to the head of the bridge, which was protected by a powerful clear material that was not altogether different from glass. It was his ship, the A.C.C.G. Mercant, along with about six dozen other ships that was cutting through Earth's atmosphere, about to make a landing on the Convention member country of France. But Grant knew that he was just a diversion. It was MONK's job to extract the Conglomerate lab's faculty. But MONK didn't know about what the lab had been working on, and just as well. The Conglomerate wasn't after these damn scientists, such people were expendable, and usually had only a single use. They fulfilled that use, and were carrying the results, and this is what Helmer was truly after. MONK was completely ignorant of this...

Not that Grant could believe someone as apathetic as MONK could give half a damn. Though Grant found something rather ominous about MONK, and that gas mask he always wore. MONK rasped his reply.

MONK: Wonderful, a historical achievement award. I didn't think the Conglomerate gave such things, so when do I get my medal?

Grant rolls his eyes.

Grant: You're such an excitable chap.

MONK: Whatever. So, why does the Conglomerate want to use almost a fifth of its functioning space fleet just to save a group of scientists?

Uh-oh, he's getting curious. He may be the best mercenary on the market, and his status is legendary, but that's all the more reason to get rid of him.

Grant: That's none of your concern.

MONK: Hey, I get that answer all the time. I'm just saying, it seems pretty stupid to go through all of this. They're replaceable, aren't they?

Ensign: Admiral! We're reaching the designated altitude. The Convention's also opened fire.

Grant: You'd better get to the release hatch.

MONK: Fine with me.

13:00

A pod shoots out from under the A. C. C. G. Mercant...

13:04

Convention Defender: Sir, they've scattered our radars with Selective EMP.

Captain of Brest: I don't believe they're actually launching an attack directly on the capital planet, that's suicide! You're going to have to give me a visual, because I want to know how many of those bastards are up there. They're not going anywhere near this city.

Defender: We're counting about seventy ships.

Captain of Brest: We have to hold out until reinforcements arrive. Ready the cannons.

Defender: Sir, do you think they'll try to have any troops make a gravchute landing?

Captain of Brest: Doubtful. If there’s a group of them trying to bypass our defenses by making an independent landing, we’d spot them. And what good is it if some idiot tries to land by himself? We’re already in the process of procuring Gavan’s invention...

Defender: You still haven’t told me about that, sir.

Captain of Brest: Well, can you keep a secret, soldier?

Defender: Yes, sir.

Captain of Brest: Bwahahahaha, so can I! Now get back to your post.

13:15

MONK sneezes- someone’s talking about him, apparently.

MONK: I made a bit of a messy landing, but I'm here.

MONK always made it through dangerous situations like these, it was nothing new to him. This was probably thanks to the fact that the Convention had recently switched from microwaves and flak to laser defense systems... In which the enemy gained a much better advantage in focus, but the attacks were much less spread out. Meaning it would be easier for him to, well, not get shot.

After bumping past a couple of trees and landing rather ungracefully (he had wrecked his gravchute), he got up, dusted himself off, and pressed a button on his communicator. Not a second later came Grant's communication.

Grant: So you actually made it. Good. There should be a secret bunker north several ticks from your position, where the lab will be located. I'm afraid you're going to meet up with a lot of opposition, as apparently they've recently discovered the bunker's location.

MONK: Hell, then it's not secret anymore, is it? And you underestimate my stealth skills.

Grant: Just do your job, and there'll be no problems.

MONK: You're certainly the impatient one...

14:00

MONK: Right, I'm here. The bunker's underground cover is wide open, there's a huge gaping hole in the blast doors.

Grant: All the more reason for you to hurry up with your mission. The Conglomerate knows that there's an hourly fee along with the upfront cost of hiring you, and we wouldn't like it if you lounged around as you do.

MONK: It's concern like that which truly makes you a leader, eh, admiral? You must be an inspiration to all your men, because I'd sure hope to die at your feet while you're telling me that I’m burning a hole through your pockets-

Grant: Enough banter! We'll contact you in 00:10.

MONK: It's no skin off my back.

14:08

There are two soldiers standing in a dark hallway of the bunker. One of them is poking the dead body of a man in a white coat. The other hears a noise from behind them.

Soldier 1: You didn't have to unload that many bullets in him. Really, now.

Soldier 2: Wait a second. Did you hear that?

Soldier 1: Eh?

Soldier 2: Over there.

Soldier 1: You're just being paranoid.

Soldier 2: I'm going to check it out.

The other one stands up and starts walking away, muttering, 'suit yourself'.

Soldier 1: Hey Joe, when you're done checking out nothing, you mind coming over here and taking a look at-

CRIIIIIIIIIIK.

Soldier 1: What the fu-... Joe?

He runs back, finding his comrade lying there, dead. Someone had broken his neck. It was at this point that the soldier unholsters his gun, looking around warily. All he can hear is the beat of machinery in the background, as well as some leak in the pipes. Maybe he and Joe shouldn't have been so loose with gunning down all those old guys working at this place, or they wouldn't have shot the fusebox for this section to hell. The auxiliary power here sure sucked, because the lights kept flickering on and off... Where the hell was this guy? There was no possible way he could've gotten away so quickly. He had just come from one side, and on the other was an elevator that he was sure he would've heard.

What he had forgotten was the cardboard box laying there, silently creeping up on him while he looked around panic-stricken, lifting up and two hands reaching around his throat...

14:15

MONK: Hey, you're a bit late.

Grant: They’re holding us off better than we thought.

MONK: What happened to that entrepreneurial efficiency you guys are so used to displaying? Buying them off failed to pay off?

Grant ignores that question.

Grant: What is your current position?

MONK: B12. Hey, I think everyone in here is dead, including the ones I killed myself… Can’t we break out the wine and go with a ‘mission accomplished’-

Grant: Keep searching.

A couple of hallways farther in…

Dr. Gavan: I'll die before I let them get their hands on the reverse time-dilation device, and it'll be a cold day in hell before they get their hands on the LD. Neither the Convention nor the Conglomerate must be allowed to use them!

AAR002.jpg

Gavan’s loyal robotic assistant, self-aware M4 unit 5K. Has a habit of calling other humans besides Gavan, meatbag.

Suddenly, two heavily armed Convention troops bust through the door.

M4-5K: Doctor, look out!

Too late- Gavan is gunned down before he could resist.

M4-5K: Doctor…!

Dr. Gavan: Ugh… Mask… Tell my wife… I loved her huge breasts.

As the doctor breathed his last, the only thing that M4-5K was thinking was, ‘That is going to be awkward.’

Soldier: You there! M4! Where are they?

M4-5K: You’ll never get them from me, meatbag.

Soldier: You pile of junk. I’ll rip out your sound circuits myself-

M4-5K is ready to open fire on them with a rifle, despite being outnumbered, when someone lobs a flash grenade into the room. M4-5K ducks just as someone screams and another opens fire… Then the criiik of breaking necks.

MONK: Wow, that’s not bad. I wasted a ‘nade, but no bullets. That must be a new record-

M4-5K: Who are you!?

MONK: Damn, that was the last guy. I was supposed to get SOMEONE out of here.

M4-5K: I seriously doubt that, meatbag. Now that Gavan’s dead, it is my duty to protect his project.

MONK: I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about-

Grant speaks up from MONK’s communicator.

Grant: If they’ve all been killed, retrieve whatever the lab’s produced. Go through the M4 unit if you have to.

MONK: Well, you heard the man. You’ll have to hand it over to us. Whatever it is.

M4-5K: So you really don’t know what they’re after.

MONK: What’s it to me?

M4-5K: You’re not understanding the gravity of this- do you know that this lab was produced for the express purpose of creating new tools that could basically end this whole conflict in one fell swoop for the Conglomerate?

MONK: Everyone’s trying to develop new technologies for something like that-

M4-5K: This time, it’s different. They’ve built a time machine.

MONK: Don’t BS with me. That kind of stuff is impossible.

M4-5K: Do you think I would joke about this, meatbag? Dr. Gavan was a scientist who experimented with the ideas around relativity and time dilation. He was giving huge sums of money by the Conglomerate and left to go about his own way because he was extremely brilliant. What he produced was a fantasy that the scientific community has been ridiculing, observing, and even dreaming about for centuries. Finally, a creation in which man could go back in time to change the past!

MONK: Damn… I don’t believe it.

M4-5K pulls the cloth off of a machine that looks like a small portable terminal.

MONK: Somehow, I thought it was going to be a bit more impressive than that. Then again, you’re being rather adamant about it, so-

M4-5K: It isn’t the end of it- one of the Doctor’s associates was a chemist who created a drug that could prolong-

Grant: Enough! Destroy him, mercenary, and bring back the device!

MONK lifts up his gun, when M4-5K continues to speak.

M4-5K: Haven’t you ever wanted to make a change, mercenary! In a world like this!?

MONK: Make a change? Me? The individual’s limelight is done, over with. A single man can’t change a damn thing.

M4-5K: Consider this, then! If you let the Conglomerate get their hands on time-travel, they’ll be able to shape the Earth into their own corporate image, ruling it in a way that they would Alpha Centauri, Mars, and other planets they’ve ruined with their excessive industry. And if the Convention managed to capture it, who knows what a group of incompetent, squabbling leaders will do, replicating the technology and waging time wars against each other in an attempt to make their own respective countries better than the others! This is in your hands, mercenary. Are you willing to ruin the world- no, the universe, with your actions?

MONK: What are you asking me to do!? Neither you nor I could hide something like this from them indefinitely!

MONK begins contemplating on what to do, while he and M4-5K point their weapons at each other. Grant shouts shrilly at MONK.

Grant: We didn’t pay you to think!

But MONK was beginning to realize how much was at stake… And he’s always thought about things… But this time, he was actually about to act on them. More time passed by…

MONK: Goddammit…

Grant: I’m warning you, mercenary!

Suddenly, loud noises erupt around them and the bunker itself begins to jerk and quake. M4-5K begins to input some numbers in the time-travel terminal.

M4-5K: It’s no longer an option! We’ve wasted too much time, and the Convention will bomb this place to kingdom come.

MONK: Damn it…

M4-5K: Do you want to die here, meatbag?

MONK: Of course not, despite how pointless my life is.

M4-5K: Then come with me, and we can get this device to where neither side can get to us- the annals of time!

MONK: How dramatic. Just hurry up and get it functioning!

A swirling portal appeared before them.

M4-5K: Get in, now!

The robot jumps through.

Grant: Don’t you dare!

MONK: Nothing else for it! It wasn’t a pleasure, admiral!

MONK leaps through the portal after M4-5K. All he can remember is two things: the entry, when his body lurched about and his head spun as if it would come off; and the landing, where he slammed onto the dirt, unconscious.

END OF ARC I

Author's Note: Points to whoever knows where I got the pics for MONK, M4-5K, and Helmer. :D
 
ARC II: Good Help is So… Well… You Know the Quote

March 12, 1419

Jean the VI, or Jean le Sage - Current Ruler of Brittany: They’ve begun to move?

Messenger: Our sources tell us it is so, but not towards our position. Scotland seems to be going after our friends in Eire first, despite having declared war on us. Regardless, there are twenty-thousand troops in Wales that we’ll have to deal with sooner or later, especially if they successfully complete their siege.

Jean: I see… How about our own troops?

Messenger: Half of those stationed previously in Morbihan will be boarding the ships on the channel. Lord Languedoc should be organizing the transfer on to the isles, as we speak.

Jean: I see. And how is Georges in Cornwall, doing?

Messenger: He’s not sure of where to move- he’s waiting for the cavalries in Bristol, Cornwall, and Wessex to finish mustering before deciding on a course of action. He doesn’t know whether he should relieve Eire’s province or head towards Scottish territory.

Jean: If only my previous minister hadn’t pissed off James like this.

Messenger: You mean the Byzantine man that arrived last year?

Jean: Yes, Leetand Soawesome. I don’t think that idiot was actually from Byzantium, and I don’t know what possessed me to hire him. Eccentric doesn’t even begin to describe him.

AAR006.jpg

Leetand’s brand of cereal, supposedly imported from Byzantium. It... Didn't quite catch on.

Jean: I remember the first week he was here like it was yesterday.

Flashback

Leetand: ZOMG j00|2 |21C|-| J0|-||\|! (Oh my God, Jean, you’re rich!)

Jean: What?

Leetand: +100$ \/\/|-|3|\| j00 g0+ g1|=+ 0|= 5+@+3 3\/3|\|+!!!!!11111!!!! (An extra 100 ducats when you got the Gift of State event!)

Jean: WHAT?

Leetand: +1|\/|3 +0 d3cl@|23 \/\/@|2 J0|-||\| b3c@u53 \/\/3 g0+ $$$$$$ 50 g0 |=1g|-|+ 50/\/\30|\|3 /\/\@yb3 bU|2gU|\|d1@|\|5 LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!11111oneoneone!!!! li3|< 5@/\/\3 cUl+u|23 OMG (I think it’s time we put this money to good use and maybe attack another neighbor for their territory. Perhaps Burgundy, they’ve got some same culture provinces with a link to our capital?)

Jean: You’re not making any sense!

Leetand: \/\/@+ j00 5@y l0l!? (What are you talking about Jean, you kidder, you?)

End Flashback

Messenger: That’s… Frightening.

Jean: I was surprised I could even find a translator for whatever unspeakable language he was saying. Unfortunately, no other court in Europe could do the same.

Flashback

Leetand: j00 +|-|3|23! y35 j00! C0/\/\3 0\/3|2 |-|3|23 LOLZ (Wait a moment, you there! Sir! Could you please come over here for a minute?)

James I: Err, I assume this man calling me is yours?

Jean: Ignore him, our translator’s out sick so-

Leetand: |20y@l /\/\@|2|2i@g3!!? (For the sake of our two countries diplomacy, I would like to offer one of the daughters of Brittany’s nobility to one of your own prominent aristocracy in Scotland. I know tensions are high between our two nations, but…)

Leetand looks rather feverish in his requests. James, however, looks nervous, and takes a step back from him.

James I: Eh? What is this man saying? I don’t like the way he’s looking at me.

Leetand: |20y@l /\/\@|2|2i@g3!!!!!!oneoneone!!!!!?!???!?? (Don’t misunderstand our intentions, we just want to improve relations. It has nothing to do with wanting to claim your country’s throne or so that you won’t stab us in the back later on-)

Leetand is being very intrusive on James’ privacy at this point, and the monarch of Scotland breaks into a run in the other direction.

James I: Get away from me! You’re speaking the devil’s tongue!

Leetand: |20y@l /\/\@|2|2i@g3 |\|0\/\/ pl3@53!!!!!!!!!oneoneone!!! \/\/@i+ LOLZOZOZLZ! (Wait! Come back, sir!)

Jean: Ah, this is not good.

End Flashback

Jean: And after that, James was so insulted that, when he got back to Lothian he declared war on us. Executing Leetand didn’t do anything to appease him, either. Another downside of all this is that I’m going to need a new minister, as Leetand was supposed to command our forces.

Messenger: Let’s hope we can find a replacement soon.

AAR005B.jpg

The current extent of the nation of Brittany, and her nearest neighbors. Brittany is allies with Eire and Normandy. Normandy is Brittany's vassal.

END OF ARC II
 
Hey stop updating!!! You know I'm actually tryin to read this ;)

Good first update btw..I love the "can you keep a secret? I can" bit :rofl:
 
OK This ROCKS:D

I like the "translations" you made (they weren't all THAT correct, were they ;))

Keep it up! Am definitely lookin forward to this!

Th :rofl:
 
AmbassadeBelgie: Thanks for the comments! No, the translations were not completely 'correct', but that just adds to the comedy. I also just got around to reading what you have on MachTungri, and honestly it's the first time I've ever read a Fantasia AAR. Very interesting, keep up the good work! :)
 
Thanx :D *beams with unexpected pride*
But I really thought a Fantasia AAR would already have existed? :eek:

Still, I must say again, great AAR!

:p!!!:p500th:p!!!:pPOST:p!!!:p
(yes the other one was accidentally the 499th...I must be confused...)
 
This is a very interesting AAR, Karasuman. Using Aberration for an AAR is an excellent idea that I wish more people would use. I look forward to more updates.

p.s.- The pictures are from Resident Evil, Alpha Centauri, and KOTOR.
;)
 
To AmbassadeBelgie: I said that it was the first time I'd ever read a Fantasia AAR. I don't know if there's any others, but it's still very interesting to read and a unique deviation from usual AARs.

To Radagast: Good show! :D I'm glad someone got all of them. And I really wish there were more Aberration and MES AARs. There's only one other Aberration AAR I know of, and MES can lend itself to some good stories. Take the Fatimids AAR known as Pyramid Schemes, case in point.

To Duke Henry VII: Thank you very much!

To All: Sorry I'm taking long, it's actually taking me much longer than I thought to write up how the Brittany-Scotland war ended up. I can say one side ended up completely crippled, that's it. :D But unfortunately, because it's taking me so long, the next portion I'm posting today won't be within actual gameplay. Sorry. :(
 
Sorry I'm taking long, it's actually taking me much longer than I thought to write up how the Brittany-Scotland war ended up. I can say one side ended up completely crippled, that's it. But unfortunately, because it's taking me so long, the next portion I'm posting today won't be within actual gameplay. Sorry.

No problem...as long as an update appears :)D) everything is a plausible excuse ;)

(Thanks for the comment on my AAR btw :))

Th :D
 
ARC III: To Morbihan! - Part I, Rude Awakening

February 8, 1419

MONK: Ugggh... My head...

M4-5K: Ah, you're awake. You've been out for a while, meatbag. Almost a week, in fact. I suppose meatbag colostomology- I mean, physiology is a bit weak, especially considering something like travelling through wormholes-

MONK: Remind me to donate you to the local junk heap.

MONK fixes his gas mask back into place, while M4-5K, despite being a robot, actually manages to look indignant and sound the part, as well.

M4-5K: Is that any way to treat the man-

MONK: Thing-

M4-5K: Sentient being that saved your life? Even a 'thank you' would've been better than that.

MONK: Ah, that's right. We went back in time- which begs the question...

AAR008.jpg


M4-5K: Calm down. We're near the city of Brest, and back in time about fifteen or sixteen hundred years.

MONK: We went back in time that far!? Why the hell for?

M4-5K: About that...

MONK: More bad news, you harbinger?

M4-5K: I made a biotelemetric scan of the world, as well as asked around for information as to the politcal status of Eurasia. It seems we haven't gone back in time at all.

AAR010.jpg


MONK: You just contradicted yourself- I thought we traveled into the past??

M4-5K: At least, not in the way we think. I knew there was something wrong with the reverse time-dilation device, but...

MONK: I'm afraid to ask, but- what was wrong with it?

M4-5K: I think the professor may have actually made some miscalculations as to what his device could do, and in doing so stepped into the world of quantum physics without realizing it-

AAR010A.jpg


MONK: That means nothing to me!

M4-5K: What I'm saying is, maybe we've stumbled into an alternate dimension.

MONK: What.

M4-5K: Take a look at this map.

MONK: What the hell... That's not France.

M4-5K: Actually, France didn't own the part of the world we're in, right now. Let me compare this map to a map that we have from our own dimension-

MONK: Assuming we're in a different one.

M4-5K: See, take a look at this, it's a map of our world in exactly the same year.

MONK examines the next map that M4-5K pulls out. He recognizes several Convention member countries, including Britain, France, Russia, Poland, Austria, and...

MONK: What's this place again? This green one. Wait, I got this... Poultry?

M4-5K: Turkey.

MONK: Yes, Turkey.

M4-5K: Ottoman Empire.

MONK: Huh?

M4-5K: You mean the Ottoman Empire. See, you said Poultry, but you didn't mean Turkey. But Turkey didn't exist, so you didn't mean Turkey, you meant the Ottoman Empire.

AAR012.jpg


M4-5K: Nevermind. Compare them to the previous one.

According to the previous map, Poland doesn't have the borders it had previously. Poultry- I mean, Turkey- I mean, the Ottoman Empire has been replaced by a nation called Byzantium. Austria isn't present, but there is a curiously powerful blue blob called Bavaria. Russia looks a little different. Wasn't there a place called Novgorod? Someone else called the Hanseatic League owned their territory. Britain was split between three powers, and France was replaced by something called Burgundy. Spain looked pretty weird as well, as it was now called Granada and was now crushing small nations north of it, rather than south of it.

But... They weren't really that different, were they?

M4-5K puts both maps side to side. This produces a rather profound impact on MONK.

MONK: That's really different.

M4-5K: I thought you'd say that. Regardless, we'd better head to the nearest human establishment.

MONK: What? Why?

M4-5K: Because you don't want to starve?

MONK's stomach grumbles.

MONK: Good idea.

M4-5K: Sometimes I marvel at how humans could've possibly built us M4 units.

MONK: Speaking of which, I'd hate to keep calling you 'M4 unit'.

M4-5K: On the other hand, I loathe it when you use that name.

MONK: M-4-5-K. Mask, then?

Mask: That is the designation Dr. Gavan gave me.

MONK: It'll do, especially given the informal situation we're in.

Mask: Indeed. Well, we should hurry. I've never seen a meatbag other than the ones in the lab eat, before.

MONK rolls his eyes.

MONK: Yes, it's obviously going to be an enlightening experience.

Mask: I consider it an excellent opportunity, considering that we're going to be here for a while.

MONK: And the stream of bad news doesn't end...

Mask: I'm afraid not, meatbag. It seems that the device ran out of power and it's impossible with the technology immediately at hand to recharge it.

MONK: Not only do I need food, I think I'm going to need a case of vodka, too.

Mask: Assuming they sell that in this part of Eurasia.

MONK groans.

MONK: With my luck? I wouldn't count on it.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
ARC III: To Morbihan! - Part II, Considering a Job, and Leetand's Legacy

February 9, 1419

MONK and M4-5K- that is, Mask, are sitting at a table in some roadside tavern on the road to Brest.

MONK: Oh, man. I'm famished.

Mask: Eat up, meatbag.

MONK: I call you Mask rather than M4-unit- the least you could do is call me MONK rather than meatbag.

Mask: I'll think about it... Meatbag.

MONK: Ugh! Forget it.

A barmaid approaches their table.

Barmaid: What will you be having, sir?

MONK: What do you have?

Barmaid: We've got quite a few specialty cereals, popularized by former Minister Soawesome.

MONK stares at her.

MONK: Cereals??

Mask: Ooh, cereals. What is in stock?

MONK raises an eyebrow at Mask.

Mask: I'm an advanced piece of technology that can run on thousands of different kinds of fuels. Don't look so surprised, you know they actually made a vessel that could run solely on urine-

The barmaid looks at Mask, mouth agape.

MONK: Ignore him.

Barmaid: Alright... Well, sir, we have just the thing for you.

Mask: Is that so? If only I could pay for-

MONK: I have cash.

MONK throws a rather heavy-looking bag on the table.

Mask: You do? In that case, we'll have whatever it is you're offering.

MONK: What- hell no. I don't want cereal, get me some beef and the strongest drink you have.

Barmaid: Beef, ale, and cereal- very good.

Mask: If you don't mind me asking, how did you come across your money?

MONK: Flash grenades.

Mask: Ah.

After some time, the barmaid returns with a roast beef, a glass of milk, and this:

c3pos.jpg

This brand didn't catch on too well, either.

After the odd duo finish their meal...

MONK: Now that I've had nourishment, I've been thinking- how the hell am I going to waste the rest of my life in a backwards world like this?

Mask: Good thing I have enough endurance to last a couple thousand years.

MONK: ... I hate you. Argh! You'll be able to wait until the human race has gone far enough to recreate time machines. I'll be dead before we get to inventing the wheel.

Mask: No need for that kind of cynicism- there is a way for you to live longer.

MONK: More of your precious master's secret projects?

Mask: No, it belonged to a friend of his. And it is arguably what Helmer Quincy was really after.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
SIDE ARC I: Bad Help is PLENTIFUL

And a brief return to Jean and how the Scotland vs. Brittany/Eire/Normandy war is progressing.

June 6, 1419


Messenger: My lord, news from the front. We've been beaten back from Wales.

Jean: Sigh... I assume Pawar was ineffectual?

Messenger: Yes, my lord. Minister Gamar and Lord Georges were unable to defeat the Scottish.

FLASHBACK: April 17, 1419

Pawar Gamar of Granada: You guys are, like, so gimped. You guys, like, built cavalry without, like, increasing your aristocracy on the DP sliders.

Georges: I don't follow. DP sliders? What in God's name are DP sliders?

Pawar: Like, forget it. Gather, like, all of your cavalry and attack the Scottish besieging, like, Wales.

Georges: That doesn't seem like a good idea. Wales is a mountainous province.

Pawar: Like, Jean hired me, okay? I know what I'm doing, okay? You're just a faceless commander with, like, no Shock or Siege value so, like, shut up okay?

George: Are you insulting my tactical ability?

Pawar: Like, your face!

George: My face WHAT, you MOSLEM KNAVE!?

Messenger: Minister! Word from the defenders of the city of Cardiff! The city's walls have sustained substantial damage!

Pawar: We march at, like, dawn!

Georges: Hold on there-

Pawar: I, Pawar Gamar, am in charge, because I've played lots of Very Hard/Furious games so, like, shut your trap!

END FLASHBACK

Jean: This is hopeless. When you get back to the camp in Wessex, tell Pawar he's fired and give Georges temporary command of the army until I can find someone else.

Messenger: That's going to be a little difficult sir.

Jean takes a look outside his residence- and sees a line of people so long that it stretches all the way to the gates of Nantes.

Jean: Well, if the tedium of going through hundreds of candidates vying for the position of Minister-

Messenger: I suspect it might be thousands-

Jean: I really didn't need to know that... Well, if the tedium of going through thousands of these people doesn't kill me, the sheer idiocy of each and every one of them, will. But it will surely be a better fate than the one Brittany is sure to have if its fortunes do not reverse, soon.

Messenger: Indeed, sir.

END OF SIDE ARC I

Author's Note: The name "Pawar Gamar" is a play on the term, "Powergamer", for any who didn't notice. And I did actually send, by accident, a cavalry to relieve the siege on Wales. I forgot that it was a mountain province, and my all-cavalry army was forced back by a Scottish army that was heavily infantry. Silly me! But then again, I haven't played in a while, so forgive that mistake.
 
FLASHBACK Poor cavalry FLASHBACK

I wanna have 'em cereals too, like, duh! So cool, like. I'm so, like, sorry I wasn't like online for lika a week, but hey this is like...great stuff, like!

Like, Cool man! Keep it, like, up!