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In the infidel year 1493 the Great Sultan Bin Martin murdered his father, brothers, cousins, grandparents, second cousins, uncles, great uncles and took the throne of Istanbul. His God Given mission: to bring a message of peace and brotherhood to Turkey and the Free World, and death to infidels, pagans, pagans and infidels who don't pay their taxes everywhere.
Realising his term of years might be short he rejected the sweet temptations of a Persia on her knees and he took his mighty spear and thrust it between the buttocks of the balkans...this is his story...
For five years his sergeants enticed every cheap levyman they could find with their clubs and whips. His armies swelled with elite high quality peasants from every fief. The slightly more expensive cavalries were withdrawn to anatolia to enjoy the healthy mountain air.
Taking advantage of the moral weakness of the notoriously disunited and backward christian alliances his legions swept into Hungary and Moldovia and took them entire, while the cowardly poles and austrians stood idly by. The victory was so complete that for many years afterward the turkish governors would be plagued by mobs of stone-throwing christians, but they would be ignored.
By 1501, with his armies swollen with hungarian and moldavian 'volunteers', the assault on poland began. With the main Polish army bogged down against the not-so-bad-christian teutonics, province after province fell. Taking pity on their weakness, and wanting to smash austria for a while, he offered them a -1 stab peace, but they refused. Under house rules it would be another 12 months before he could offer a -1 peace again.
As minor after minor sued for peace, the Austrian alliance broke their peace treaty and joined the war to bolster the faltering poles. In a moment of madness the Polish king took a 2 province peace and was obliged to resume the war with a -5 stab. Oh well, at least he wouldn't suffer the -1 every 12 months.
For the next 12 years the war heaved backward and forward, with Polish, Bohemian, Austrian and Turkish provinces changing hands time after time. Manpower reserves became exhausted and one by one reserve armies from Greece, Anatolia and the Persian border were summoned to join the battle.
Sadly, God was not with Bin Martin, and despite wreaking more destruction than a j...never mind...and making minor gains, after 700,000 casualties and 250 cannons lost and with the all sides exhausted, the turkish armies retired to their bases to rest and prepare for the next assualt...
Realising his term of years might be short he rejected the sweet temptations of a Persia on her knees and he took his mighty spear and thrust it between the buttocks of the balkans...this is his story...
For five years his sergeants enticed every cheap levyman they could find with their clubs and whips. His armies swelled with elite high quality peasants from every fief. The slightly more expensive cavalries were withdrawn to anatolia to enjoy the healthy mountain air.
Taking advantage of the moral weakness of the notoriously disunited and backward christian alliances his legions swept into Hungary and Moldovia and took them entire, while the cowardly poles and austrians stood idly by. The victory was so complete that for many years afterward the turkish governors would be plagued by mobs of stone-throwing christians, but they would be ignored.
By 1501, with his armies swollen with hungarian and moldavian 'volunteers', the assault on poland began. With the main Polish army bogged down against the not-so-bad-christian teutonics, province after province fell. Taking pity on their weakness, and wanting to smash austria for a while, he offered them a -1 stab peace, but they refused. Under house rules it would be another 12 months before he could offer a -1 peace again.
As minor after minor sued for peace, the Austrian alliance broke their peace treaty and joined the war to bolster the faltering poles. In a moment of madness the Polish king took a 2 province peace and was obliged to resume the war with a -5 stab. Oh well, at least he wouldn't suffer the -1 every 12 months.
For the next 12 years the war heaved backward and forward, with Polish, Bohemian, Austrian and Turkish provinces changing hands time after time. Manpower reserves became exhausted and one by one reserve armies from Greece, Anatolia and the Persian border were summoned to join the battle.
Sadly, God was not with Bin Martin, and despite wreaking more destruction than a j...never mind...and making minor gains, after 700,000 casualties and 250 cannons lost and with the all sides exhausted, the turkish armies retired to their bases to rest and prepare for the next assualt...
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ZOIKES!?!?
Another attack?
Hahaha!
I think we need a Persian player, don't you think, lifford???
Great post Sultan Bin Stinky...
Another attack?
Hahaha!
I think we need a Persian player, don't you think, lifford???
Great post Sultan Bin Stinky...
The Year was 1492. The Electors of Germany, some say backed by Austrian ducats, elected David von Lifford to be Holy Roman Emperor. History tells the story of this most Noble Emperor and the proud Kingdom of Austria.....
The Emperor's everlasting reign began peacefully enough. Austria was the largest of the German states but by no means exceptional. Its army was strong, but goverment was weak. Emperor Lifford began his reign with needed reforms. Bailiffs and tax collectors were sent to the provinces and merchants were sent to the lucrative COT in Venice.
Although allied with Bohemia and Hungary, Austria needed a powerful alliance to counter the ominous evil of the Heathen Sultan bin Marti of Turkey. Baden, Wurtembourg and the Palantate wisely joined the Austrian alliance.
With dreams of an Austrian Mare Nostrum in mind and only needing a port to realize this. The Emperor offered a cash trade for the port of Istria to his Venetian cousins to the south. Strangely enough The Doge refused these generous terms and mobilized his troops and sent them off on tour of his island realm.
The fine people of Austria were outraged at this mobilization and clamoured for war. They too wished for an island getaway. Emperor Lifford decided that this insult was too much and Declared war upon the Venetian Republic.
The War went smoothly enough. Austrian armies marched south and quickly occupied Mantua, then marched on Venice itself. Another force moved south from the Steirmark and laid siege to Istria. Venetian troops under Borgia moved north and laid waste to the Tyroleon countryside.
Venice fell after a lengthy siege and the main Austrian force marched on Istria. Tyrol fell to Venetian Bandits and 6000 troops that were left marched to Venice and impotently lay siege to their capital.
1499 - The Polish Alliance fouly declared war upon Austria. Poland came into the war but agreed to limit fighting to the border provinces since they were engaged heavily in the north. The Austrian alliance took this occasion to fall apart with only Hungary staying true to their word. A few months passed until Bohemia and Wurtemburg joined again.
While the siege in Istria continued The Emperor dispatched a small army to carry the war to the Hansa in the north. 15000 men with 10 of those new fangled " cannons " marched north through the German States. A few thousand were lost to the wiles of Saxon women and German chocolate along the way. Those were the lucky ones..... once Hamburg was reached in the dead of winter a bloody battle was fought against the Hansa defenders. The valiant troops of the Emperor were victorious but at cost of 1/2 their army. The survivors abandoned the province and fell back to Pommerania.
Diplomatic efforts with the notoriously unstable Sultan were at an all time low at this point and the evil Heathen Declared war upon Austria's true friend... Hungary. Once again the Austrian alliance fell apart and needed rebuilding. Only Austria and Hungary faced the Turkish hoard.
The Troops of the Emperor were scattered. A small army of 10000 men were fighting the Hansa troops in the Netherlands. The main Austrian Battle Army of 20000 troops were engaged against the Venetians, 10000 more were in Vienna, and 5000 troops were hobbling back from the Northern expedition.
The Emperor could only watch in horror as the Turkish hoard gobbled up Hungary, province by province. Where was the main Hungarian army?... why fighting the Poles of course.
Istria finally fell to the Emperor's Legions and Austria made peace with Venice taking Mantua and Istria. A white peace was signed with Poland, and for $43 ducats a peace was made with the Hansa League and her allies. All Austrian forces were sent to the Hungarian border. Unfortunately for Hungary, it was too late. The Heathen to the south had annexed the mighty kingdom of Hungary. Turkish troops moved to the virtually undefended border of Austria.
The Turkish horde faced Austria across the former Hungarian border. With only 17000 troops left in the Imperial Army and the borders protected by only minimal forts. Austria was doomed if the Turks made any advance.
The Historians of Europe are still amazed by what happened next. The Austrians call it the Miracle of Pressburg.... Sultan bin Marti offered a White Peace!
Emperor Lifford readily accepted and bells of peace rang throughout the Holy Roman Empire.
It was peace, but the wise Emperor Lifford knew it was only a truce, a breathing space.
Turkey went on to annex Moldavia and made threatening demands upon the Poles.
"This Heathen Madman must be stopped", Declared the Emperor. A secret mutual defence alliance was signed with the Poles. If Turkey invaded either Kingdom the other would come to their defence. The Emperor also built up his own alliance. Bohemia was already in the fold. Wurtemburg, Baden and Spain were added soon after.
He also directed a massive military buildup. Soon two 30000 man Imperial armies were assembled under Ferdinand and von Frundsberg and stationed on the Hungarian border facing the Turkish levies.
This proved a wise precaution as war broke out between the Poles and Turks. After a few months too finally ready their troops, The Emperor came to the aid of his Polish friends, took a huge stability hit, and Declared war upon the most foul Turks. Much to the surprise of The Emperor, his allies joined the war.
The resulting war was lengthy and bloody. Von Frundsberg was a great boon to the Imperial cause. His armies were everywhere along the border. Provinces were exchanged month by month. Spain proved to be a helpful ally and lent many troops to the Christian cause.
The Sultan finally made peace with Bohemia, taking Moravia. Then made peace with Spain offering $250 ducats. Baden, Austria, and Poland remained to fight the good fight and the war continued for another bloody few years.
At the end with Poland facing collapse the Sultan offered a white peace which the Christian Alliance accepted. Austria and Poland, despite all odds, managed to fight the Turks to a standstill.
For the time being Christian Europe was saved from the Turks! The cost was high though. 200000 soldiers of the Empire fell in battle. 90 Cannon were also lost.
Emperor Lifford celebrated this hard fought victory by Declaring war upon the Venetian Republic and accepted Emilia (which was taken from the Papacy) into the loving bosom of the Austrian Empire.
Long Live the Emperor!
The Emperor's everlasting reign began peacefully enough. Austria was the largest of the German states but by no means exceptional. Its army was strong, but goverment was weak. Emperor Lifford began his reign with needed reforms. Bailiffs and tax collectors were sent to the provinces and merchants were sent to the lucrative COT in Venice.
Although allied with Bohemia and Hungary, Austria needed a powerful alliance to counter the ominous evil of the Heathen Sultan bin Marti of Turkey. Baden, Wurtembourg and the Palantate wisely joined the Austrian alliance.
With dreams of an Austrian Mare Nostrum in mind and only needing a port to realize this. The Emperor offered a cash trade for the port of Istria to his Venetian cousins to the south. Strangely enough The Doge refused these generous terms and mobilized his troops and sent them off on tour of his island realm.
The fine people of Austria were outraged at this mobilization and clamoured for war. They too wished for an island getaway. Emperor Lifford decided that this insult was too much and Declared war upon the Venetian Republic.
The War went smoothly enough. Austrian armies marched south and quickly occupied Mantua, then marched on Venice itself. Another force moved south from the Steirmark and laid siege to Istria. Venetian troops under Borgia moved north and laid waste to the Tyroleon countryside.
Venice fell after a lengthy siege and the main Austrian force marched on Istria. Tyrol fell to Venetian Bandits and 6000 troops that were left marched to Venice and impotently lay siege to their capital.
1499 - The Polish Alliance fouly declared war upon Austria. Poland came into the war but agreed to limit fighting to the border provinces since they were engaged heavily in the north. The Austrian alliance took this occasion to fall apart with only Hungary staying true to their word. A few months passed until Bohemia and Wurtemburg joined again.
While the siege in Istria continued The Emperor dispatched a small army to carry the war to the Hansa in the north. 15000 men with 10 of those new fangled " cannons " marched north through the German States. A few thousand were lost to the wiles of Saxon women and German chocolate along the way. Those were the lucky ones..... once Hamburg was reached in the dead of winter a bloody battle was fought against the Hansa defenders. The valiant troops of the Emperor were victorious but at cost of 1/2 their army. The survivors abandoned the province and fell back to Pommerania.
Diplomatic efforts with the notoriously unstable Sultan were at an all time low at this point and the evil Heathen Declared war upon Austria's true friend... Hungary. Once again the Austrian alliance fell apart and needed rebuilding. Only Austria and Hungary faced the Turkish hoard.
The Troops of the Emperor were scattered. A small army of 10000 men were fighting the Hansa troops in the Netherlands. The main Austrian Battle Army of 20000 troops were engaged against the Venetians, 10000 more were in Vienna, and 5000 troops were hobbling back from the Northern expedition.
The Emperor could only watch in horror as the Turkish hoard gobbled up Hungary, province by province. Where was the main Hungarian army?... why fighting the Poles of course.
Istria finally fell to the Emperor's Legions and Austria made peace with Venice taking Mantua and Istria. A white peace was signed with Poland, and for $43 ducats a peace was made with the Hansa League and her allies. All Austrian forces were sent to the Hungarian border. Unfortunately for Hungary, it was too late. The Heathen to the south had annexed the mighty kingdom of Hungary. Turkish troops moved to the virtually undefended border of Austria.
The Turkish horde faced Austria across the former Hungarian border. With only 17000 troops left in the Imperial Army and the borders protected by only minimal forts. Austria was doomed if the Turks made any advance.
The Historians of Europe are still amazed by what happened next. The Austrians call it the Miracle of Pressburg.... Sultan bin Marti offered a White Peace!
Emperor Lifford readily accepted and bells of peace rang throughout the Holy Roman Empire.
It was peace, but the wise Emperor Lifford knew it was only a truce, a breathing space.
Turkey went on to annex Moldavia and made threatening demands upon the Poles.
"This Heathen Madman must be stopped", Declared the Emperor. A secret mutual defence alliance was signed with the Poles. If Turkey invaded either Kingdom the other would come to their defence. The Emperor also built up his own alliance. Bohemia was already in the fold. Wurtemburg, Baden and Spain were added soon after.
He also directed a massive military buildup. Soon two 30000 man Imperial armies were assembled under Ferdinand and von Frundsberg and stationed on the Hungarian border facing the Turkish levies.
This proved a wise precaution as war broke out between the Poles and Turks. After a few months too finally ready their troops, The Emperor came to the aid of his Polish friends, took a huge stability hit, and Declared war upon the most foul Turks. Much to the surprise of The Emperor, his allies joined the war.
The resulting war was lengthy and bloody. Von Frundsberg was a great boon to the Imperial cause. His armies were everywhere along the border. Provinces were exchanged month by month. Spain proved to be a helpful ally and lent many troops to the Christian cause.
The Sultan finally made peace with Bohemia, taking Moravia. Then made peace with Spain offering $250 ducats. Baden, Austria, and Poland remained to fight the good fight and the war continued for another bloody few years.
At the end with Poland facing collapse the Sultan offered a white peace which the Christian Alliance accepted. Austria and Poland, despite all odds, managed to fight the Turks to a standstill.
For the time being Christian Europe was saved from the Turks! The cost was high though. 200000 soldiers of the Empire fell in battle. 90 Cannon were also lost.
Emperor Lifford celebrated this hard fought victory by Declaring war upon the Venetian Republic and accepted Emilia (which was taken from the Papacy) into the loving bosom of the Austrian Empire.
Long Live the Emperor!
See how the infidels lie!!!
As I recall a SPANIARD was elected Holy Roman Emperor, due to the weakness of the Austrian gene pool!!!
The Swinging Sultan
As I recall a SPANIARD was elected Holy Roman Emperor, due to the weakness of the Austrian gene pool!!!
The Swinging Sultan
Had another session this Monday and I am going to tell ya (yep!) what happened from the Polish point of view (the best one of course ). Since Martinov called my last post a "bloody tactical discussion" I am going to keep this one short (or at least try to) for YOUR reading pleasure... BTW, doesn't anyone want to comment on our fabulous game? Another important thing: A new player joined and took the weak Russia
In Between World Wars
The once almighty Kingdom of Poland being literally shattered by the Ottoman invasion fell into a trap. Rebellions, finances, relations, all a problem.
After containing rebelled Lithuania and annexing Ukraine, things calmed down a bit, though the occasional peasant uprising does happen...
A long time of peace followed the bloody fight down in central Europe... Infact the populace of many voivods dropped so radically that as many as three provinces were converted to the one true catholic faith.
An alliance was signed with Russia and a royal marriage between our most noble nations was also arranged. This would ensure that any attack (especially funded by the evil ottomans) wouldn't occur. Infact Russia was extremely weak and fielded an army smaller than the Crowns (GASP~!). At first Russia colonised and fortified their northern provinces and then took many years for an all out invasion of the Golden Horde.
Meanwhile, taking advantage of the peace, the stability rose from -3 to -1 which signifacantly improved our income. Our army was enlarged as much as three times and three new excellent leaders ensured that our army would be a REAL challenge (unlike the last time) for the heathen Turks.
The many years of peace that followed improved the overall situation in our country and even though we are extremely behind in all tech (especially military) we feel strong. Rebellions are contained, our 'special' pact with Austria (now called the Eastern Entente) and the gradual rise of income strengthen our security.
The Second Damn War with Turkey!
Yep it happened. Turkey after signing peace with their Northern neighbours immediately funneled it's attention to the east. Persia and Mamalukes began a war with them. Mamalukes were converted to sunnism and the crown's ministers aren't sure what exactly happened in Persia
The Turkish war-like attitude deeply worried all devout christians (that btw, elected the Austrian as their Emperor) and after the Sultan Bin Marti annexed Naples (SHRUG!) the proud and noble nation of Bohemia (allied with Austria and German minors) declared war on the infidels that held Moravia... Indeed they had a good Cassus Belli.
Austria, honored their alliance with Bohemia and joined the war. Poland, kindly asked and funded by Austria joined the war a few months later. To tell you the truth, We, The King of Poland, Grand Duke of Lithuania, Duke of Prussia, Livonia and MoldaviaD) feared this would turn into another massacre of the Poles. Indeed, he was greatly shocked.
Austria, Brandenburg and Bohemia deeply penetrated the Turkish Empire. Having stormed through Hungary like lightning, they marched for Thrace (!). Meanwhile the brave yet outnumbered Polish army captured Besarabia and Ruthenia and defeated three large (~30k) Turkish Armies. This was indeed a succes!
Whilst the Emperor reached Thrace, the cowardly Bohemians, who were unfortunately the temporary alliance leader, signed a peace with the infidel (and getting ass wipped by BB wars) Ottomans. This infuriated the Polish king who is now at a cross road. Continue the war? If no, then agree to what terms? Indemnities? Besarabia/Ruthenia? A white peace?
And that's when we stopped... Tune in for the next episode!
As for the Bohemians, those dastards - our brothers, the God Loving Austrians, will take care of them
We finished at around 1545.
One crash, and it was me, we didn't continue after it.
Tried for 1.5 hours to start a game and succeded and played for an hour. Guess you need to patient whilst playing a game as moody as Europa Universalis.
Ciao!
). Since Martinov called my last post a "bloody tactical discussion" I am going to keep this one short (or at least try to) for YOUR reading pleasure... BTW, doesn't anyone want to comment on our fabulous game? Another important thing: A new player joined and took the weak Russia In Between World Wars
The once almighty Kingdom of Poland being literally shattered by the Ottoman invasion fell into a trap. Rebellions, finances, relations, all a problem.
After containing rebelled Lithuania and annexing Ukraine, things calmed down a bit, though the occasional peasant uprising does happen...
A long time of peace followed the bloody fight down in central Europe... Infact the populace of many voivods dropped so radically that as many as three provinces were converted to the one true catholic faith.
An alliance was signed with Russia and a royal marriage between our most noble nations was also arranged. This would ensure that any attack (especially funded by the evil ottomans) wouldn't occur. Infact Russia was extremely weak and fielded an army smaller than the Crowns (GASP~!). At first Russia colonised and fortified their northern provinces and then took many years for an all out invasion of the Golden Horde.
Meanwhile, taking advantage of the peace, the stability rose from -3 to -1 which signifacantly improved our income. Our army was enlarged as much as three times and three new excellent leaders ensured that our army would be a REAL challenge (unlike the last time) for the heathen Turks.
The many years of peace that followed improved the overall situation in our country and even though we are extremely behind in all tech (especially military) we feel strong. Rebellions are contained, our 'special' pact with Austria (now called the Eastern Entente
) and the gradual rise of income strengthen our security.The Second Damn War with Turkey!
Yep it happened. Turkey after signing peace with their Northern neighbours immediately funneled it's attention to the east. Persia and Mamalukes began a war with them. Mamalukes were converted to sunnism and the crown's ministers aren't sure what exactly happened in Persia
The Turkish war-like attitude deeply worried all devout christians (that btw, elected the Austrian as their Emperor
) and after the Sultan Bin Marti annexed Naples (SHRUG!) the proud and noble nation of Bohemia (allied with Austria and German minors) declared war on the infidels that held Moravia... Indeed they had a good Cassus Belli.Austria, honored their alliance with Bohemia and joined the war. Poland, kindly asked and funded by Austria joined the war a few months later. To tell you the truth, We, The King of Poland, Grand Duke of Lithuania, Duke of Prussia, Livonia and Moldavia
D) feared this would turn into another massacre of the Poles. Indeed, he was greatly shocked.Austria, Brandenburg and Bohemia deeply penetrated the Turkish Empire. Having stormed through Hungary like lightning, they marched for Thrace (!). Meanwhile the brave yet outnumbered Polish army captured Besarabia and Ruthenia and defeated three large (~30k) Turkish Armies. This was indeed a succes!
Whilst the Emperor reached Thrace, the cowardly Bohemians, who were unfortunately the temporary alliance leader, signed a peace with the infidel (and getting ass wipped by BB wars) Ottomans. This infuriated the Polish king who is now at a cross road. Continue the war? If no, then agree to what terms? Indemnities? Besarabia/Ruthenia? A white peace?
And that's when we stopped... Tune in for the next episode!
As for the Bohemians, those dastards - our brothers, the God Loving Austrians, will take care of them
We finished at around 1545.
One crash, and it was me, we didn't continue after it.
Tried for 1.5 hours to start a game and succeded and played for an hour.
Guess you need to patient whilst playing a game as moody as Europa Universalis.Ciao!
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