The Inheritance of Odoacar: Bavaria

OK, now I need some help.

I have to promote tax collectors in my provinces to generate cash, but I need cash to promote my tax collectors. What do I do? Minting? I hardly have any cash... and I want inflation to remain as low as possible (now 1,7%)

Someone want to be my Economics Advisor? ))

Farquharson said:

I like the style of this AAR.

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Wow thanks, Farqu. You know, I'm a big fan of your AARs! So thanks

Farquharson said:

If you could get military access to those dumb Pommeranians you might be able to flatten them then take their treasury in indemnities, even vassalize them for more annual income. On the other hand, maybe they have some scary allies.

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Teutonic Order, Mecklenburg, Bremen, Prussia and Holstein.

Mmmm, Mecklenburg is a 1-province nation with COT.

Can I win this war? May be I should find some extra allies to do the job?

the_shy_kid said:

Pommern is usually part of the Hanseatic League, if that counts as scary.
Meurtenu, you should reduce army maintanence, that saves some cash. But if nationalist rebels get too scary, raise it up again.

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You're so damn right. The war is over for a year and I didn't reduce army maintenance to 50% ... o

Military Maintenance is now 2.7 ducats. That's better!!

Thanx!

Chapter II

Chapter II: The Pommerian War
Jan 1423 - Dec 1430

Adv #1 enters the room and introduces a stranger to King Ernst.

Adv #1: "My Lord, since the Empire is growing rapidly and the stars don't tell me much about military affairs, I contacted a man I always admired. He achieved wonderfull results with neglectable states as Scotland, Tunisia, Mombassa, Brandenburg and Provence. He agreed to become your Military Advisor. I'm very proud to present you: Adv Farq!"

King Ernst: "Excellent, Adv #1, good job. You're right: a big nation should have more than one advisor. So Adv Farq, give me some military advice. Shall I attack Brandenburg? Or build a fleet and invade Scotland? Hahahahahahaha."
[King Ernst did lack some sense of humour]

Adv Farq: "No, Sir, you don't have a port so you can't build a fleet. But I notice that you have a CB on Pommern. Why wouldn't we use that? Just get Military Access through Wurzburg, Saxony and Magdeburg and Pommern is yours. You might be too scared of their Allies (Teutonic Order, Mecklenburg, Bremen, Prussia and Holstein) to accept my plan, though"

King Ernst: "Scared? SCARED?! I am scared of no-one! I defeated the Big White Blob [while it was still a tiny, little White Spot]! So, you really think I'm scared of some Nordic Hanseatic League Thing? Send diplomats to Wurzburg, Magdeburg and Saxony. Gather my troops!!"

Mar 1422
Ernst looks at the map of Europe and counts, recounts en re-recounts his future enemies of the Teutonic Alliance.
King Ernst: "That's a scary Alliance, Adv #1, I could use some help over here."

Ernst sends out diplomats to every Central European country to enlarge the Bavarian Alliance. They all return without success because most European Powers already belong to an alliance. All but one ...

Diplomat:"My Lord, I succeeded in adding a country to our Alliance!"
King Ernst: "Very well, my boy, tell me: which country? Is it Poland?"
Diplomat: "No Sir, it's not Poland."
King Ernst: "Well then it should be Lithuania? Brandenburg? Scotland? Saxony?"
Diplomat: "Errr no, Sir, in fact it's MANTUA".
King Ernst: "Mantua? What the F..K is Mantua?"

He grabs his European Map and searches Mantua.

King Ernst: "Mantua? That will be a great help, they don't even have an army!!! Execute that %#!§#$@% diplomat!"

Ernst decides to wait to declare war on Pommern until the war between Austria and his allies Helvetia and Milan ends.

Dec 1423
Finally, Austria gives Tirol to Milan and the war ends. But now King Ernst faces 31000 Hungarian troops in Presburg and 17000 troops in Austria.

King Ernst: "We can't go to war with Pommern with all that troops on our eastern border, can we?"
Adv Farq: "We have a truce with Austria until 1426 and a RM with Hungary. I don't think they will attack you, Sir. I'd rather say you're a little scared of the Scary Teutonian Alliance?"
King Ernst: "I'm not scared, I told you that before. I'm just a little ... cautious. I want my troops to stay on that eastern border. That's final!"

Jun 1424
Hungary declares war on Serbia and her allies join the war.

Nov 1424
Adv Farq: "Last time I checked those Hungarian and Austrian troops left our borders to go and fight in Serbia. This is the right moment to give the Scary Teutonian Alliance a blow. Don't you think so?"
King Ernst: *with a trembling voice* "Errrr, well, all right ... declare war and send the AoB to Pommern, but leave the ND here to defend my palace, just in case some Teutonians show up." o

The declaration of war was delivered and Helvetia and Milan joined the fun. Mantua dishonored the alliance ... and was 6 months later attacked and annexed by Venice.

A few days later a messenger arrives @ the palace:

Messenger: "My Lord, I have great news: none of the allies of Pommern joined the war. The Scary Teutonic Alliance broke up. "
King Ernst: *his self-confidence skyrocketing* "Hahahaha, I knew they feared me, that Pathetic Teutonian Alliance. They flee as rabbits the moment my ferocious troops leave Bayern! Slaughter those bastards. Show no mercy! And send the ND to Pommern, immediately!"

Feb 1425
AoB invades Vorpommern, but is defeated by 20000 Pommerian troops. They retreat into Magdeburg.
Pommern enters an alliance with Poland, Lithuania, Brandenburg and Bohemia, and joins the war against Moldavia. 19000 troops leave Vorpommern to rage war in Moldavia. :rofl:

Jun1425
AoB strikes back and besieges Stettin, capital of Pommern.

Feb 1426
Lithuania declares war on Muscowy, but Poland, Brandenburg, Bohemia and Pommern dishonor the alliance. Hence, Pommern is once more on it's own!
King Ernst immediately sends a diplomat to invite Bohemia into the Bavarian Alliance. They accept!

Jul 1426
AoB captures Vorpommmern and invades Hinterpommern together with ND.
Feb 1427
The Pommerian army returns from the war against Moldavia and defeats the Bavarian troops in a serie of battles and drives them back to Magdeburg.
The Pommerians initiate a siege in Vorpommern.
Steiermark revolts.

King Ernst: *wining, blowing his nose* [/COLOR] "I am defeated! My best troops have been defeated in Pommern and those rebels will wipe away my entire kingdom. They're already burning down my gold mines! I'm doomed. Why did I listen to that Farq-guy? The traitor! He destroyed my Empire with his poisoned advice. He 's an agent of Brandenburg, Scotland, Tunisia and Mombassa! Get him killed immediately!"
Adv #1: "My Lord, all our soldiers were sent to Pommern, there's no one left to execute Adv Farq."

But Adv Farq remains calm and acts: he raises 12000 new infantry in Bayern and sends an SMS ... euh ... pigeon to the niece of King Ernst who is married to the Polish King Wladyslaw.

That night in the Royal Polish Bedroom.

Niece: *dressed up in a leather SM suit* "My dear Wlady, shall I give you my special treatment tonight?"
Wlady: "Yeah sure. After all, I had a rough day."
Niece: "How does this feel?"
Wlady: "That feels NICE, hmmm."
Niece: "And how does it feel if a touch you right here?"
Wlady: "Oh my ... that feels really GOOD."
Niece: *goes down* "And what if I kiss you here?"
Wlady: "OH MY GOD! THAT IS GREAT!"
Niece: *lifts up her head* "Shall I continue this treatment, My King."
Wlady: "Why do you stop,woman,continue! I beg you, CONTINUE ..."
Niece: "Can I ask you a little favor in return?"
Wlady: *licks his lips" "Sure, honey, sure, what ever you want."
Niece: *licking the King's nipple* "Not that kind of favor, you naughty boy. You should declare war on Pommern."
Wlady: "Pommern? What did they do to us?"
Niece: "They're sort of defeating the armies of my poor uncle King Ernst of Bavaria, and that makes me so unhappy."

April 1427
Poland, Mecklenburg, Holstein and Bremen declare war on Pommern, wiping out all resistance in a few days. Polish troops initiate a siege in Hinterpommern.

Oct 1427
The remains of AoB is called home and merged with the newly raised troops. Adv Farq leads the troops to Salzburg where they set up a defensive position.

Nov 1427
The Rebel Scum takes control of Steiermark

Jan 1428
The Rebel Scum invades Salzburg but is wiped out by AoB. AoB invades Steiermark.
Polish troops take control of Hinterpommern. Adv Farqu waits patiently until Poland takes Hinterpommern in a peace deal.
[As soon as this happens the war pathetic 6% war score will jump to 100%]


Jan 1429
AoB recaptures Steiermark.
May 1429
Wurzburg joins the Bavarian Alliance
Jul 1429
Salzburg revolts, but the AoB rushes in and destroys the "rebs".
Nov 1429
AT LAST, Pommern accepts the peace offer from Poland and hands over Hinterpommern. The next moment Pommern is a vassal of Bavaria ...
Dec 1429 - Aug 1430
Ostmarch revolts and it takes 4 attempts (and 5000 new infantry and 3000 new cavalry) to crush the rebellion.

Sep 1430
King Ernst organises a giant victory party at the palace.
King Ernst: "Adv Farq, I hereby promote you to 3-star-general in recognition of your bravery in the Pommerian War and your determination when facing the Giant Bavarian Revolution."

*Gen Farq kneels down and receives a green helmet with 3 gold stars*


Oct 1430
King Ernst demonstrates his fine diplomatic skills:
RM with Wurzburg
Helvetia is diplo-vassalized
Bavaria proclaims guarantee of his vassal Pommern



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BAVARIA 1430

5 provinces. Tax Collector in Bayern, Ansbach, Salzburg and Steiermark
Vassals: Helvetia, Pommern
Allies: Helvetia, Milan, Wurzburg, Bohemia
RM: Helvetia, Milan, Wurzburg, Poland, Lithuania, Hungary, Venice


Armies:
Army of Bayern (10740, 6514, 0) [AoB]

Economy:
Inflation 5.6%
Tax Income 6.1
Goods 0.9
Trade 0.3
Gold 3.5
Mil Maintenance 1.0

Dom Pol Changes : Innovative +1

Der Brandenburger Krieg

Chapter III: Der Brandenburger Krieg
Jan 1431 - Dec 1434

After the long war against Pommern and the revolts in the new provinces, King Ernst wanted a period of peace, to train and improve his diplomatic skills.
He had quite some diplo-vassalizing to attent to. But one not always gets what he wants ...

Adv #1 enters the room.

Adv #1: "Sir, I bring you very serious news: Brandenburg declared war on our new vassal Pommern."

King Ernst: "WHAT?! We fought 6 years for that lousy 1-province minor and now these Brandenburger Schweinz think they can just grab it! Unleash the Army of Bayern without hesitation."

Adv #1: "Er, Sir, what do we do with Gen Farq? He has some Brandenburger history. He might have friends over there."

King Ernst: "You're right. Leave him out of this one. You will command our armies. We'll inform him when the war is over."

So Bavaria declared war on Brandenburg and it's ally Magdeburg.
Helvetia, Milan, Wurzburg and Bohemia answered the call to arms and the struggle began.

Magdeburg and Brandenburg immediately besieged Vorpommern, while Bavaria and Bohemia besieged Brandenburg and Kustrin.

In June 1432 Pommern was annexed by Brandenburg.

The Bohemians did a hell of a job defeating nearly all enemy troops, while Bavarian forces besieged the provinces.

In October 1432 Kustrin fell and our troops advanced into the territories of former vassal Pommern.

In November 1433 Bavarian forces conquered Vorpommern and switched their attention to Magdeburg.

In May 1434 the capital of Brandenburg opened its gates to the victorious Bavarian army. The peace treaty was harsh: Vorpommern to Bavaria, Brandenburg would become a vassal of Bavaria and would pay 100 ducats in indemnities.

In November 1434 the war was over: Magdeburg fell and became a vassal of Bavaria.

The peace returned so King Ernst could kick off his diplo-exercises: one month later Milan and Wurzburg were thrilled to become Bavarian vassals.



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BAVARIA 1435

6 provinces. Tax Collector in all 6 provinces

Vassals: Helvetia, Milan, Wurzburg, Magdeburg, Brandenburg
Allies: Helvetia, Milan, Wurzburg, Bohemia
RM: Poland, Lithuania, Hungary, Venice, Bohemia

Armies:
Army of Bayern (4807, 4432, 0) [AoB]
Ansbach Regiment (13546, 0, 0) [AR]

Economy:
Inflation 7.3%
Tax Income 8.8
Goods 1.1
Trade 1.1
Gold 3.5
Mil Maintenance 1.1

Tech Tree:
Land 1
Naval 1
Trade 2
Infra 2

Gen Farq

King Ernst called for Gen Farq and told him about the bloody war in Brandenburg and the force-vassalizing of Brandenburg and Magdenburg.

King Ernst: "I know Brandenburg has a special place in your heart, Gen Farq, but we had to act, since we would lose Pommern - and you fought very hard to obtain that vassal. So, what do you say: no hard feelings?"

igorvragovic said:

Royal blue looks much better than Austrian white :rofl:

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Yep, and I want to erase that White Spot as soon as possible. Anyone an idea on how to accomplish this? They have an alliance with Hungary, Croatia, Luxemburg and Siebenburgen. I don't have a CB on them. RM with Hungary.

How can I isolate Austria? Just declare war, take the stab hit and hope the Austrian allies will dishonor the alliance (cfr. Pommerian War)?

Anybody knows when Austria inherits Bohemia and Hungary? How many years left?

The Government of Bavaria

Adv #1: "My Lord, since our Empire is gowing rapidly and we now control 6 provinces and 5 vassals, I contacted some very wise men who will assist you in ruling Our Great Nation. We will call our little group The Government of Bavaria."

King Ernst: *spits out the word* "Government? Why would I need a Government? What is happening to the world? Since when does an honest King needs help ruling his country? Don't forget, Adv #1, L'état c'est moi ! "

Adv #1: "I didn't know you speak French, My Lord."

King Ernst: "Well, I just discovered that myself, really. Is that a sign that I will rule France one day?"

Adv #1: "I don't know, Sir, but about that Government-thing: even the great Emperors of Rome had the Senate to give them advice, Sir."

King Ernst: "The Emperors of Rome were sissies! They didn't even manage to hold their Empire more than 1000 years. And don't forget that they were defeated by GERMAN tribes, back in 476! That reminds me Rome should be a German city... But who are those men in that Government?"

Adv #1: "We call them Ministers, Sir. Well, there's me and Gen Farq, and then there are 2 men who are even better than me in reading the stars."

King Ernst: "Better than you? But when I hired you you told me you were the best star-reader in the world?"

Adv #1: "That's correct, Sir, but back in 1422 I lost my glasses and my reading of the stars became a little blurry..." o

King Ernst: "Who are these new star readers?"

Adv #1: "The first is The King of Croatia, the second is called Blue Lotus. They predict that Austria will inherit Burgundy in 1476, Bohemia in 1526 and Hungary in 1540."

King Ernst: "The King of Croatia?! Don't you know that Croatia is allied to Austria, you fool!"

Adv #1: "That's just his name, Sir, not his title. I think he's a pretender of the throne of Croatia."

King Ernst: "That's fine. If we conquer Croatia,he'll get his throne. First things first: what should we do to prevent Austria inheriting half of Europe?"

Adv #1: "Minister Shy Kid says we should DoW, force-vassalize and then diplo-annex Austria,Sir. While we do this we should maintain very good relations with Hungary by sending huge gifts."

King Ernst: "Shy Kid? That's a strange name."

Adv #1: "Yes Sir, that's what we call him because he gives wonderfull advice, but then always ends with the words: 'Or you could ignore me and do what you want' "

King Ernst: "You bet I can! I'm the King!"