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Jun 19, 2004
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USAAR and the Great War against the "Axis of Evil" Pres. Bush Dream-traveler

The President awoke with a huge headache....

What inspired me to white this AAR was a short post I saw on another webforum. However since I have Victoria to work with Quantum Mind Swap / Time Travel has to be implemented. Also since not too little is known about "stated" plans of this White House pResident the AAR has a few goals already set.

- Presidential Dictatorship

- Must Confront the "Axis of Evil" - EyEraq, EyEran, Syria, Cuba, North Korea, Haiti, Venezuela

- "Protect" the world from Chinese Agression

- Stick it to the French

- Crusade into Palestine


Must Subjugate Colombia for their fine white powdery agricultural Product
(Nose Candy).

Help our friends In the United Kingdom protect their interest in Afganistan (Opium Trade)

This president is not known for his wast geographic knowledge.

So a few misses here and there while planning for invasions are Mandatory

=================================================
Enjoy!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ACF336B.jpg



George W. Bush has stated he'd prefer to be a dictator at least three times, according to BuzzFlash.com:

"You don't get everything you want. A dictatorship would be a lot easier." Describing what it's like to be governor of Texas.(Governing Magazine 7/98)
-- From Paul Begala's "Is Our Children Learning?"

"I told all four that there are going to be some times where we don't agree with each other, but that's OK. If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator," Bush joked.
-- CNN.com, December 18, 2000

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it, " [Bush] said.
-- Business Week, July 30, 2001

http://www.buzzflash.com/analysis/2002/10/29_Dictator.html

"I'm a War President" --George W. Bush, 43rd President united States as stated on Meet the Press


I assume this will be tongue in cheek and satirical, should it stray into the realm of bashing or otherwise break Paradox Rules as established by the Moderators' judgement

V
 
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Something is amiss at the head of the government

The President awoke with a huge headache and a bruise on his face. The last thing he remembered was riding on his bike and trying to chew on a pretzel. And then this branch happened… Oooh.

Something was amiss. Something was not right. Everything truly was not right. The oval office looked and smelled different. And it was winter as opposed to summer as just a moment before.

He got up and went to his table. “Strange. No Phone.” He thought.

“Lindsey!!! Where is Dick! Lindsey!!!” he called out.

A young man peered into the doorway.

“Mr. President! Mr. President. You should not exert yourself! You were hit by a falling branch this morning. It is great that you are up and feel fine enough to want to see VP but would you please rest while I get him.”

“Who the hell are you boy, and where is Lindsey?”
“I am your secretarial aide… Alex Ashbee of course. Please Mr. President Sit while I get you Martin.”

"Who is Martin. I need my VP Dick Cheney." asks the President

The aide gets a worried look on his face. "Your VP of course?.... Sir, you should really sit down. I'll be right back. Oh and please call him Martin. And I will send for the doctor again.

The president sat down on lavish sofa thinking.
“This can not be too bad. Dick will come and he will explain me all of it”
 
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If this isn't inflammatory, I don't know what is....

;) Rafiki

Actually it isn't inflammatory, yet, some readers however needs to read my post at the end

V
 
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Inflamation

1. I could use only quotes from the press about the countries descibed. i think that should be fun too
2. Political opinions vary. Mine happens to be slightly to the left of yours.
3. I promise not to post anything that could not be clasified as "satire"
 
I'm not saying that this isn't a good idea for an AAR; I'd actually like to see how it develops and works out, since I haven't seen anything similar. :)

I'm just saying that you're putting yourself quite closer to "the line" than most. However, should you cross "the line", I'm pretty sure the mods will let you know and give advice on how you can get back on the right side of it ;)

:) Rafiki
 
16:02 January 01, 1836

10 minutes later......

A short man, only about 5 feet, 6 inches tall, but trim and erect, walked in. Dressed fastidiously he had a stately appearance.
mvb8thpres.gif

"Mr President! You wanted to see me. It is good to see you are well and on your feet after the morning accident. We'all were worried. How may I be of service?"

"Oh you must be my doctor! To tell you the truth my head still hurts a bit from the tree branch. And then I do not "feel" at home here. I do not quite feel myself either. Everything is soo strange. Someone must have moved all the furniture while I was "out". and these clothes are so old fashioned. Oh and you are wearing similar style.... Oh.. My!"

"Mr President! The doctor told me you were well enough. Dont you recognise me? I am your Vice President Martin Van Buren. Please sir you must retire. I insist. We are worried that the accident from tis morrow was a serious one.

Sir do you feel confident and capable?


The president looks at the man for a second and considers the answer of not being "capable". he thinks [The man calls himself Martin. Martin Van Buren. ... Tha name rings a bell. another bell. another bell.... OH MY GOD... I KNOW THIS NAME. And this man looks exactly as the portrait in the white house. This is not happening. This is a dream. I am speaking to the 8th President of the United States. He said he is my vice president."]
:wacko:
"Sir!? Are you ok?"

"Yes. Give me a second Martin. I am thinking about my capabilities after the "accident""
[So if he calls me president. I must be the 7th President in this 'dream'. That would make me ... John Adams? ...?] President Bush gets up and looks in the Mirror. [After getting hit by a tree branch he thinks he would look like this
bush_crash.jpg


BUT instead he looks like this
us20.jpg



Then looks at Martin Van Buren. [I sure don't look like John Adams.] he thinks [ I look like a $20 dollar bill!!!!! And not exactly Mint! ]
:eek:
[I must be ANDREW JACKSON in this strange dream.]
:eek:
"Yes Martin. I'm quite allright. Please ask that boy.. my aide.. Alex. Not to call doctor. I needed a minute to gather my thoughts thats all.

As for summoning you I wanted to find out what is the state of our country's affairs on todays date.
 
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16:12 Jan 1 1836

martinvanburen.jpg

"Well Sir, the Cherokee in the Florida territory are restless. The settlers started on the wrong terms with them and wanted them for forced labour. Free labour that is. And the Cherokee gave shelter to the blacks that ran away yet the injuns want none of that and began murdering or' officers. You ordered men to begin capturing the Cherokee and moving them to the Indian Territory (present day Oklahoma) and the Cherokee retreated to Evergaldes. There is maybe 5000 braves total, but they know the swamps liky their own backyard. and out soldiers are dieing by the dozens every day. it is proving to be quite expensive. I woudl recoment to begin paying the indians that move West. It would be cheaper in the long run.

"The Texans are at war with Mexico over land and Mexicans are winning..."

Not that that matters to us greatly


"That is all quite interesting Martin. All quite interesting. ... Tonight we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom. Our grief has turned to anger, and anger to resolution. Whether we bring our enemies to justice, or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done. We must fight those Injun Terrorists. Not a penny to them for moving expences. make the ones who want walk. Others. Send soldiers to "help them" After all our settlers need land. Even swamps. We must make our country safe for all freedom loving Americans.
 
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16:25 jan 1 1836

"Oh, and Martin, Send me please, what is his face?, the Secretary General of the Ministry of Peace.

martinvanburen.jpg
"I take you mean Minister of Defence sir?"


bushnapoleon.jpg

"Thats what I said. Secretary General of the Ministry of Peace. What is his name again?"


martinvanburen.jpg

"Travolt Harrison, sir. "


"Travolt will do. i would prefer Donald, but Travolt is close enough?" [This is fun. I have never had a dream like this] President thought to himself
 
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Somehow I can't help but think that if this were about any country besides the US, it would already be banned.

I can promise you I won't be reading this one.

Then don't, that sort of comment is unwanted, incidently you think I would have closed it had it been Chirac as Nappy or Schoreder as Bismarck?

WRONG

V
 
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A Pres. Bush AAR.

Cool!

Nice concept. Have a good one chap. :D


Then don't read it this line of comments are out of line, more than this AAR is

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rafiki said:
I'm just saying that you're putting yourself quite closer to "the line" than most. However, should you cross "the line", I'm pretty sure the mods will let you know and give advice on how you can get back on the right side of it ;)

:) Rafiki

To my thinking, the more to the right of any line, the better! :rolleyes:

Rensslaer
 
there seems to be something wrong with some of your pictures, and this looks like it could be a pretty funny AAR
 
I dunno about being out of line...but all I wanna know is this:

What does 2004 look like for temporally displaced Pres. Jackson? The possibilities are endless....
 
Old Hickory running things in 2004? make it interesting by adding the effects of an Andrew Jackson unleashed in the Information Age!

uneeded commentary edited out

V
 
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:rofl: :rofl:

Those who are not amused need a humor injection...it's pretty darn funny! One thing that's saving it, incidentally, is that the humor is rather gentle.

To my fellow conservatives: just suck in your anger and read it for the laughs - they come quick and easy!





[One note though: I hate it when people claim Bush wants to be a dictator. Those three quotes are Bush joking about being a dictator...the middle one explicitly says so, and for the other two it's pretty obvious. Plus in two he doesn't say he WANTS to be one - he says it would be EASIER. That being said, good start so far, and don't let my fellow rabid Vast RightWing Conspirators get to you.]