Papal States led by polish skater?

Great Angel?

Warsaw,
23th May 2004
Let's get back to Warsaw, capital city of Poland, to it's worst district - Praga. You know these two guys? They are friends of skater, who - as a result of
crazy doc's experiment - is now in 1419.
- Did you see that? What has happened?
- I don't know exactly. But what I know is - he looked at cigarette that he was holding in hand - that is good shit.

Rome, Pope's bedroom,
1st January 1419
Matters seems to complicate since our last visit. Now Polish skater is surrounded by the Pope and the guards as last time - only change is they are humbling and kneeling.
- Oh great angel from Heaven, please forgive us those accusations! We are full of humility! - cried Pope.
- Queeee? Co wy do mnie rozmawiacie?
- It sounds like Polish. Cardinal Wladyslaw is Polish - said one of guards to the Pope.
- No, thank you, my shoes are clean - replied Martinus V.
- No, I mean he comes from Poland.
- Oh. Summon him.
[---few minutes of humbling later---]
- You summoned me, my bronco? - asked Cardinal Wladyslaw
- Oh please, do not call me that way - muttered Pope.
- You asked for it yesterday. At night, remember?
The guard grunted.
- Oh, please - said Martinus - We have guest from your country. Teach him basics of Italian and Latin - I hate your language...
- You mean his Polish?
- No, thanks, my shoes are fine.

Rome, Skater's bedroom
15th February 1419 (Polish skater - whose name was Ziomas - turned out to be very gifted)
Messenger enters the room.
- The Pope summons you, Great Angel.
- Sure, I'm coming - he liked this title - Erm, what's your name again?
- No.
- Why no?
- No, my name is No.
- So what's your name?
- No.
- Oh please, don't be childish.
- My name is No!
- Why every time you want to say me your name you hold back in last moment?
- Argh.

Rome, Pope's bedroom,
Same day
- So our Great Angel...
- Why do you call me that way?
- You're Great Angel, are you not? - eyed Bronco.
- Indeed, I'm great.
- So what's the matter? You come from nowhere and you told me that you'll guide us to the glory, didn't you?
- I did not!
- Do not lie to me, Angel. I heard that you were saying: 'I will guide you to the glory'.
- Wasn't it: 'I will kick you, old Mallory?'. You look like that old singer... - whispered Angel.
- Pardon me?
- Nevermind.
- Indeed. Let'talk about main problem. What should we do with alliance of Tuscany and other two little neighbours of our country?
- I think we should keep stick to Austria, as we want to conquer Peninsula.
- Oh no, we don't! Conquering means victims!
- Aaargh... and what am I supposed to do? - said quietly Angel and asked Pope: - And if Milano called your mom... Venetian?
- Ooorgh, let's kick their asses!!!

[sorry for ending but I've already played few years and wanted to describe all these things in one part. I made RM with Longobardy and then said that their
throne is mine that gave me CB and after annexation I vassalized Mantua]

You can tell me whether there is any aim to continue this AAR. Nobody seems to be interested.

Mantua,
1st May 1938
It is throne-room of Mantua's palace. Here, at this historical moment, king of Mantua gives his crown to the Pope.
- It was very wise, indeed - said successor of Martinus V - Please, know my friend - Great Angel from Heaven. He is from Poland.
- I don't get it - from Heaven or from Poland?
The Pope made a reflexion.
- I don't know, to tell the truth. He claims to be Polish.
- What about my shoes? - king did not understand.
Diploannexation of Mantua caused great repercussions that were to change view of the Peninsula for ever.

Great War

Rome,
13th September 1439
Great Angel from Heaven in Warsaw played cheese with Eugene, Pope of Rome in Rome. Then, messenger came in.
- Austria asks whether we will honour our alliance and declare war on Switzerland, Bosnia, Venice, Siena and Naples.
- Aaargh.
- Urgh... oh no... - muttered the Pope.
- Yes? - asked messenger.
- Yes.
- Yes what? - he asked again.
- Yes, we will honour it. I just said no, beca...
- Yes?
- No yes no, but yes yes - said the Pope angrily.
- Excuse me? - messenger did not understand. Now Angel recognised him - he was the messanger who asked Angel to go to Martinus... about twenty years ago.
- Just say him, that we will honour our alliance.

Fields near Siena, Pope's tent,
1st March 1440
Messenger entered the tent.
- I... - he started.
- Wait! - shouted the Pope - What's your name?
- Alexo, why?
- Nothing, please continue - said the Pope with smile of relief.
- I'm regret to inform that Lombardy revolted.
- Aargh - grunted skater - Call infrantry in Mantua immediately. Oh, we don't have money for that. But if two provinces revolt, our kingdom will be over - loan money from a bank.

Fields near Sina, same tent,
1st August 1440
Messenger entered the tent.
- My name is Alexo, sir - he said obediently.
- What?
- Nothing - Alexo smiled.
- Oh no! Not again! Not another smart-ass with stupid name!
- Let him talk - said Angel.
- Lombardy fell. Revolters are moving to Mantua. Infrantry has just been called up.
- They will wait for revolters. May God be with them.

Fields near Sina, same tent,
22nd September 1440
Guess what messenger did? Yes, he entered.
- Revolters, sir.
- Oh my God! Saaaaveeee us! Alaaarm! Alaaarm!
- No, no! It's my name.
- Your name is No? Aaaaaaaargh!
The Pope became unconsious.
- Talk - said Angel.
- Revolters won in Mantua. Infrantry escaped to Bologne. What should they do?
- Tell them to wait for us. Siena will fall quickly and we will go there to help them.

Siena's palace,
1st January 1441
The Pope and Great Angel from Poland stroll through throne-room.
- Siena felt. What should we do? - Eugene was still sick about messengers.
- Let's go to Bologne, meet infrantry that lost three months ago and beat those revolters.
- And what is happening with our allies?
- They are winning in Croatia and Switzerland. Peace threaty will be sign quickly.

Rome,
16th May 1442
Two messengers - No and Revolters stand here. They wait for execution - their one.
- What's the matter with the Pope? Why he wants to kill us?
- I have some suspicion. Nevermind - what happened after 1st January 1441?
- On 28th February army in command of Great Angel beat revolters in Mantua. Then Siena revolts and beat small army that stationed there. Five thousand soldiers of thirty-thousand army went to Lombardy to siege the city. Rest of them ran to Siena to kill revolters before they conquer the province. 16th November they succeed - people say that Lombardy is to fall in few months. But what's the best - today Austria signed peace threaty with Switzerland and the war is over.


I am third in classification of VP. I was first for few months
I just want somebody to enjoy reading it.

sliver - I don't have Office. Office sucks Notepad r0x

Oh, as you can see I unlocked map for this screenshot. I will have it unlocked for ever now as I want to observe what is happening in the world - that's why I won't colonize anyhting.

Oh, if anyone could say, that he enjoys reading it

Ok, I will try to re-arange these colours. Maybe there will be update this evening - two provinces goes fooooor... guess

Three alliances

Rome,
Earl fifties of fifteenth century,
- Please - cried the Pope - please, tell me it one more time. What happened in Austria?
- It isn't complicated, but you have to focus - replied Great Angel patiently - Vien, Austrian capital was recovered by Austrian soldiers.
- Who captured it? - asked the Pope and when he noticed Angel's face, he added quickly - What? I'm confused!
- Hungarians. Third time. At the beginning of this war it was the capital city of Empire. Then Hungarians seiged it, Austrains took it back, but they lost Tirol. When they went to recover it, Vienna fell again. When they returned, Tirol became hungarian fortress and this happened once more. This time it is Austrian again.
- Damn it! We don't have energy and money for these wars! I know that they want to unify all these german provines, but - Jesus Christ - they do achieve nothing!
- Indeed. I don't think that they will be useful as allies at the moment - especially now, when Mantua's and Siena's revolts are almost impossible to happen.
Messenger entered the room. He was pupil of the Pope - he had good italian name.
- Yes, Francesco?
- Peace threaty was signed.
- Finally! What value of money is to be paid?
- Thirty gold ducats.
- Oh, I counted on at least fifty, but let's don't be pesimists.
- Sire.
- What bothers you, Francesco?
- I've just lost almost half of my wage.
- Why, Francesco?
- I bet with No Maybe and Thank You that you will become unconsious after I tell you result of peace threaty.
- Yes, I thought we will achieve more than only few ducats...
- No, no! - messenger smiled - We are to PAY these thirty...
The Pope became unconsious.

Rome,
Earl fifties, ten minutes later,
The Pope woked up.
- Frrrrrh... - he grunted.
- What? - asked Angel.
- If these wars will be like this one, our country is over. Try to vassalize Tuscany, maybe we will be able to annex them later.
- They will not agree as we are not in the same alliance. They want protection.
- So leave our current one and bribe Venetians to join their one...
- I am not so sure... And what if Austria will declare war on us?
- Do it! - the Pope tried to encourage Angel to heroic acts - Do it or do not call yourself Polish!
- Yes, yes - muttered Angel - I will give most dangerous of our neighbours reason for war or I don't be able to make their shoes clean...

Rome,
Earl sixties of fifteenth century,
- Yes, yes! Our alliance with Venetians is over, as Austrian's is! Now we can invite Venetians, Bavarians, Austrians and Tuscanies and be rulers of whole team! Oh, talk to me! Talk to me!
- Whaaat? - said Angel.
- Tell my name! Tell my name!

Rome,
Mid-sixties of fifteenth century,
- And now, as you are here, my great friend from Tuscany, I am happy to say that... - the Pope said.
- Wait - King of Tuscany interrupted - I am happy to say you something too.
- Please, begin.
- We declare war on Genua, Modena and Naples!
- Oooooorrrrgh - the Pope became unconsious.

Florence,
Late sixties,
The King of Tuscany smiled to the King of Modena.
- We annex you - he said.
- No! You can't!
- Why?
- You are cheaters!!!

Microchip of cheater's judgement,
present day,
- 0111000011100000100011001111000011111101101 - said microchip - They are no cheaters. Shut up or the Papals will polish your shoes.

Ancone, camp of Papist Army
Earl seventies,
- What should we do, Mastacief?
- Nothing. The peace threaty was signed. We can't kill them all.
- Damn it! I just want to feel like Duke Nukem at least once!

Rome,
Earl seventies,
- So - continued the Pope - as I was saying, when I was interrupted in such a violent way, I am happy to say...
- Wait! I want to say you something too - the King of Tuscany interrupted - We declare war on...
*Bang*
The Pope whispered to Angel:
- Hide the body, annex both provinces.

Venetia,
1484 AD,
Four people stand here - in throne-room of Venetian Palace in Venice. The Pope, Great Angel, Duke of Venetia and tall, misterious person.
- We are very happy to say... - the Pope began.
- Pst - whispered Angel - we do not annex them yet. We are only trying to vasalize their Duchy.
- Oh. So, we think that you need protection in todays violent and gray reality. We think, we should become your seniors.
- Oh - said the Duke and became unconsious.
- Jesus Christ, is it typical for them? - Angel asked himself - Nevermind. We will be going now, Pope.
- Wait - cried tall guy - I heard that you are Great Angel from Heaven from Poland from Future?
- Yes, I am.
- Well - he smiled - I'm from Cracov, year 1969.
Uh, that is a bit perv don't you think?

First war beetwen North and South.

Rome,
1486 AD,
The messenger came in. His name was Pope.
- Venetians ask if we will honour alliance and join the war.
- With whom, Pope? - asked Angel.
- Yes? - asked the Pope.
- With Hungary, Croatia, Poland and Serbia.
- That's pretty bad, don't you think, Pope?
- Indeed - said the Pope.
- Yes? - asked Pope.
- Tell them, we will honour it, Pope - replied Angel.
- I will tell them - answered Pope.
- Why me, can't you do it by yourself? - inquired the Pope - Nevermind. Messenger, tell them we will honour it.
The messenger called The Pope entered the room.
- Yes, the Pope?
- Nothing - replied the Pope, who is the Pope.
- Naples declared war on us - replied The Pope, who is messenger.
- God damn it!
- No! - smiled Pope - My name is Pope. God Damn It is currently in his home, in Bologna.

Naples,
March 1488 AD,
Great Angel smiled.
- Now both provinces are sieged. They will have to pay us a lot of money!
The messenger entered the room. He was nameless.
- Florence revolted.
- Aaargh! Nevermind, let's wait till first city will become our fortress and then we will retreat to guard our own provines.
Second messenger came in.
- Emilia Romana revolted and slaughtered 10 thousand of infrantry in barracks...
- Wadaaaaargh. Nameless One, go to the city and tell them we will get back to status quo.
...
- They rejected our ofert. And they say that they won't give up to shoe cleaner.
- Whaaa..? Give them 50 ducats and leeeeet's retreat!

Rome,
December 1489 AD,
- Hungary signed peace threaty. We are to pay few ducats.
- Good!
- They wanted Dalmatia from Venice, but I told them about blowing legs off and polishing shoes that are not connected to the rest of the body.
- Good!
- Whadda matter with you? You are not angry and you do not laugh...
- We will talk later, now I'm calling my servant to give me few oranges from Southern Lands. Goood!

sliver,
Thanks.

Lalalilo,
AGC-EEP jako mody majace wlasne text.csv nie robia mi sieczki jezykowej, wiec moge spokojnie i przyjemnie grac na nich majac wersje ojczysta. Rzeczywiscie sa fajne, IMO. Kupa eventow dla Panstwa Koscielnego, nastepna moja gra to najprawdopodobniej Austria na EEPie.

Everyone - when I started this AAR I had my fingers broken and hand in plaster. Now I know that it will last for at least two more weeks - that's why I don't like long narratives and everything. Sorry, my next AAR - if there will be any - will be better and include longer chapters

Rest - As Lallalilo said - skaters are freakin' assholes with wide, capacious jeans

sliver - I play from 8PM to 10PM then write it - with my hand it takes about thirty, forty minutes - and then update the topic... Maybe today there will be an update Specific letters for our language are - like Zenek said - a, o, e, l, s, c, z, l with funny lines somewhere