Ministerial statement about Bolshevik insurgency & security of nation

Jools · 04-02-2003, 00:10

It has come to my own and my intelligecne advisors ears that certain suspicious personas, linked to the former Soviet Union and now certain far left loony parties are starting a conspiracy aiming and deseating me as Minister of Defense and International affairs. My henchmen, er, I mean, the security forces of Eutopia are already cracking down on these terrorists (no doubt linked to: Nelson Mandela, Saddam Hussein, Mickey Mouse, Osama bin Laden, Child Pornography dealers, Evil wizards, Cindirellas step sisters, the Teletubbies, the Columbia Shuttle incident, Satan himself & Martha Stewart) and are countering their insurgency plan to destabilise Eutopia politically and economically using a Illuminati-funded smear campaign as their main weapon. Beware! You might have been infiltrated!

The terrorists claim that the Minister of DIA doesn't know whats good for his citizens. The minister agrees, every individual knows best whats for him/her, the terrorists also lobby for a small yet professional army. Hah! No doubt to invade us with ease because our puny army won't even be able to resist an Italian invasion! Furthermore, the terrorists seem to be agitating our coal miners who are considered a very dangerous crowd since they have explosives and pick axes and stuff and lastly the terroist seem to be supporting some whackjobs who favour social engineering. Of course they call it social 'p(r)ograms'. Beware! The enemy is listening!

I know give all permission to panic, scream, run around in frenzy, loot electronic stores, mug old ladies etcetera etcetera.

Jools · 04-02-2003, 00:37

INTEL UPDATE:
------------------

-Security guards called to newly renovated office building of the Ministry of Defense and International Affairs due to widespread workers agitation by terrorists calling for a bloody end to Eutopian democracy. Terrorist leader heard saying something about 'revolutionary tactics'.

Jools · 04-02-2003, 00:47

INTEL UPDATE 2
-----------------------

-We are happy to inform you that the main base of Bolshevik conspiracy operations have been succesfully infilitrated by our best agent commonly known as James Bond.

Hajji Giray I · 04-02-2003, 01:18

Are you a minister or a humor columnist????

Melanchthon · 04-02-2003, 02:13

On a different matter, law enforcement, domestic security and domestic intel are MHA-responsibilities.

heagarty · 04-02-2003, 03:29

Quote:

Originally posted by Jools
[Hah! No doubt to invade us with ease because our puny army won't even be able to resist an Italian invasion! Furthermore, the terrorists seem to be agitating our coal miners who are considered a very dangerous crowd since they have explosives and pick axes and stuff and lastly the terroist seem to be supporting some whackjobs who favour social engineering. Of course they call it social 'p(r)ograms'. Beware! The enemy is listening!

[/b]

Minister Jools,

Thank you for this sit down. On behalf of the Italian-Eutopian Anti-Defamation League I bring your my capo's, I mean, my organization's gravest concerns about your unflattering comments about Mamma Italia's army.

As you know, we wouldn't want things to get out of hand, or worse, get unhealthy.

No one want to subscribe to that so called "Pee Cee" crap, but a little respect is in order. It would be most unfortunate if accidents were to happen. Not that they should. If you catch my drift.

Also, on behalf of all the coal miners, another group of people that counts many Italian-Eutopians among them, they have asked me to remind you that all of your precious computers, radar systems, metal detectors, security systems, etcetara etcetara are all solely reliant on electricty produced by the coal they haul out of the earth. Should the find themselves too distressed to work, say from trauma brought on by public disrespect from one so important as yourself, the resulting coal shortage could leave you in the dark, quite literally.

I hope this meeting has cleared up a few things and I hope you enjoy the canolis I brought. Ma loves her canolis, you will too.

Ciao bene,

Rev. Jack "Giacomo" Teano

[OOC: I'm just running with this. Forgive me.

]

Deaghaidh · 04-02-2003, 05:51

Dear sirs,

I am very pleased that our military scientists have apearently perfected time travel technology. I understand that no offical announcement has been made, but the replacement of the MoD with a 50s-era American reactionary is a clear sign for those who are paying attention. However, I believe that said MoD must be returned to his own time quickly, to prevent further disruption of the space-time continum. Some sort of measure must also be taken to prevent him from recalling the events of the future in the past, which could result in a very dangerous paradox.

Dr. Emmitt Brown,
Hilldale, Gloriana

*Blade!* · 04-02-2003, 08:48

ATTENTION: The Minister has been rushed to a secure location!

(check the events)

Murmurandus · 04-02-2003, 09:04

Official Statement by the President, Mr. Murmurandus.

Fellow Citizens,

Recent events have shown clearly that Ministers Jools is been targetted by terrorists.This happened shortly after some heated political discussions. In order to calm the situation down the President has decided to releave Mr. Jools from his functions.

Mr. Jools will have the chance to discuss this decission with the President when it is safe for him to travel.

In the mean time the President has asked all security forces available to look into this matter and safeguard the security of Mr. Jools and all Eutopian Citizens.

The President also asks to remain calm and assures the matter will be solved quickly.

04-02-2003, 00:10	#1
Jools My hovercraft is full of eels Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Eutopia City, the politcal center of Eutopia Posts: 1,245	Ministerial statement about Bolshevik insurgency & security of nation It has come to my own and my intelligecne advisors ears that certain suspicious personas, linked to the former Soviet Union and now certain far left loony parties are starting a conspiracy aiming and deseating me as Minister of Defense and International affairs. My henchmen, er, I mean, the security forces of Eutopia are already cracking down on these terrorists (no doubt linked to: Nelson Mandela, Saddam Hussein, Mickey Mouse, Osama bin Laden, Child Pornography dealers, Evil wizards, Cindirellas step sisters, the Teletubbies, the Columbia Shuttle incident, Satan himself & Martha Stewart) and are countering their insurgency plan to destabilise Eutopia politically and economically using a Illuminati-funded smear campaign as their main weapon. Beware! You might have been infiltrated! The terrorists claim that the Minister of DIA doesn't know whats good for his citizens. The minister agrees, every individual knows best whats for him/her, the terrorists also lobby for a small yet professional army. Hah! No doubt to invade us with ease because our puny army won't even be able to resist an Italian invasion! Furthermore, the terrorists seem to be agitating our coal miners who are considered a very dangerous crowd since they have explosives and pick axes and stuff and lastly the terroist seem to be supporting some whackjobs who favour social engineering. Of course they call it social 'p(r)ograms'. Beware! The enemy is listening! I know give all permission to panic, scream, run around in frenzy, loot electronic stores, mug old ladies etcetera etcetera. __________________ Citizen John Paul Jones-Julseau of Eutopia City

04-02-2003, 00:37	#2
Jools My hovercraft is full of eels Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Eutopia City, the politcal center of Eutopia Posts: 1,245	INTEL UPDATE: ------------------ -Security guards called to newly renovated office building of the Ministry of Defense and International Affairs due to widespread workers agitation by terrorists calling for a bloody end to Eutopian democracy. Terrorist leader heard saying something about 'revolutionary tactics'. __________________ Citizen John Paul Jones-Julseau of Eutopia City

04-02-2003, 00:47	#3
Jools My hovercraft is full of eels Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Eutopia City, the politcal center of Eutopia Posts: 1,245	INTEL UPDATE 2 ----------------------- -We are happy to inform you that the main base of Bolshevik conspiracy operations have been succesfully infilitrated by our best agent commonly known as James Bond. __________________ Citizen John Paul Jones-Julseau of Eutopia City

04-02-2003, 01:18	#4
Hajji Giray I Khan of the Crimea Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: December 17, 1902 Posts: 2,042	Are you a minister or a humor columnist???? __________________ The Official OT Forum Museum a collection of the best OT posts and threads of all time! The Jingles v. Hajji Girl-Getting Challenge Debts Unpaid: The First Guy Marlborough Mystery Five times an AARland Choice Winner! Twice the AARland Choice Best Victoria AAR! View a directory of my other AARs

04-02-2003, 02:13	#5
Melanchthon Mostly harmless Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: State of Confusion Posts: 240	On a different matter, law enforcement, domestic security and domestic intel are MHA-responsibilities. __________________ William Wymond Jerome Vandelft, Proprietor, Vandelft Tea House and Company, New Lancaster City, Eutopia Founding member of Eutopia's Party of Liberty Co-editor of that most excellent Eutopian news magazine, The Liberty Bell - "Working for Individual Freedom and Choice"

04-02-2003, 05:51	#7
Deaghaidh Dread Overlord of the Cuyahoga Join Date: May 2001 Location: In the harem of my floating arcology-palace in Lake Erie Posts: 1,973	A letter from Dr. Emmitt Brown, Ph D. Dear sirs, I am very pleased that our military scientists have apearently perfected time travel technology. I understand that no offical announcement has been made, but the replacement of the MoD with a 50s-era American reactionary is a clear sign for those who are paying attention. However, I believe that said MoD must be returned to his own time quickly, to prevent further disruption of the space-time continum. Some sort of measure must also be taken to prevent him from recalling the events of the future in the past, which could result in a very dangerous paradox. Dr. Emmitt Brown, Hilldale, Gloriana __________________ Ideal Woman of the Moment: Summer Glau Role Model of the Moment: Ben Franklin I used to have links to my countries in forum-based games here, but I have rampaging ADD and inevitably forget about them within a few weeks, leaving the links to serve as a mockery of my inability to complete anything. So no more links.

04-02-2003, 08:48	#8
Blade! Scottish Nationalist Moderator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Bellingham, WA, U.S.A. Posts: 2,789 Blog Entries: 12	ATTENTION: The Minister has been rushed to a secure location! (check the events)

04-02-2003, 09:04	#9
Murmurandus Crusader for Fun and Profit Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Meerhout, Flanders, Belgium - Born in Brugge;) Posts: 5,280 Blog Entries: 6	Official Statement by the President, Mr. Murmurandus. Fellow Citizens, Recent events have shown clearly that Ministers Jools is been targetted by terrorists.This happened shortly after some heated political discussions. In order to calm the situation down the President has decided to releave Mr. Jools from his functions. Mr. Jools will have the chance to discuss this decission with the President when it is safe for him to travel. In the mean time the President has asked all security forces available to look into this matter and safeguard the security of Mr. Jools and all Eutopian Citizens. The President also asks to remain calm and assures the matter will be solved quickly. __________________ "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear" "Never change a winning avatar..." "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes." Ubisoft EUII 1.09 ~ Strategy First Victoria 1.04 ~ Paradox CK Deus Vult ~ Paradox HoI2 Doomsday ~ Paradox EUIII Complete ~ Paradox EU: Rome Gold Currently being a loser in Hattrick as FC MMDS (316966) as you could read here .