My Lord, May Death Come Swiftly to Our Enemies - The Unauthorised Annals of Lithuania

EUROO7 · 10-10-2009, 05:41

An After Action Report by EUROO7

Chapter The First: On Vladislovas Valavicius' joke to the King of Poland
Chapter The Second: On The King of Poland's joke on Vladislovas Valavicius
Chapter The Third: On The Annal Blunder

Artr Thormodr · 10-10-2009, 07:38

Nice. Looks promising. ^^

OrangeYoshi · 10-10-2009, 07:51

Just don't let it go the way of Riga.

Nodscouterr · 10-10-2009, 09:06

Go Lithuania!

blsteen · 10-10-2009, 15:35

Lithuania takes out Riga first move I'd bet.

Well maybe second after some Muslim country in the south of the Iberian peninusla or northern Africa.

Lord Strange · 10-10-2009, 16:28

A EUROO7 AAR? About Lithuania? With BOLDED MAGENTA? Definitely going to watch.

Throne · 10-10-2009, 17:45

Woo, another EUROO7 AAR \o/

marty99 · 10-10-2009, 17:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrangeYoshi

Just don't let it go the way of Riga.

Hypocrite

EUROO7, if this is just a ploy to stay ahead of OY's postcount...
Subscribed anyway

OrangeYoshi · 10-10-2009, 18:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by marty99

Hypocrite

Check my AAR for the reason it hasn't been updated yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by marty99

EUROO7, if this is just a ploy to stay ahead of OY's postcount...

You gave him the idea.

EUROO7 · 10-10-2009, 21:09

1.- In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth.
...
...
...
28194.- God said: Let there be flossing, as to maintain good dental health.
...
...
...
8346128.- And God did allow for the creation of a canned meat product, and He did name it Spam.
...
...
...
73980368.- God then created the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, sold it to Poland for two ducats and left.

Amen.

My Lord, May Death Come Swiftly to Our Enemies
The Unauthorised Annals of Lithuania

Ducal Castle, Vilnius, Lithuania:

A figure sat on the Throne, silent and motionless.

Court Jester: "...so he throws the brick as far as he can into the sky! Ahahahahaha!"

*chirp chirp*

The figure slowly leaned forward until it slid off the Throne and fell down the royal steps, finally stopping at the feet of the Jester.

Court Jester: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Was my joke that bad?! "

The Senior Nobleman in the chamber, Vladislovas Valavicius, stood up.

V. Valavicius: "Oh shut up, it's just a mannequin."

Court Jester: "But, but, but, where is the Grand Duke?"

V. Valavicius: "There IS no God! I mean, no Grand Duke, that's what I meant. There is currently no Grand Duke in Lithuania."

Court Jester: "Then why was I brought here?"

V. Valavicius: "Because, you fool, we need you to head with all possible haste to the Royal Court of Poland. Once there, you will tell the King the same joke you've just told us. With some luck, he will take it as a great gift and grant us independence so that we may be able to finally choose a Grand Duke of our own!"

Court Jester: "But did you find it funny, the joke?"

V. Valavicius: "Eh... Of course. Don't worry, the King of Poland is known for having a great sense of humour."

A Few Days Later, Royal Court, Krakow, Poland:

Court Jester: "...so he throws the brick into the sky as hard as he can! Ahahahahaha!"

OrangeYoshi · 10-10-2009, 21:11

*chirp chirp*

Nodscouterr · 10-10-2009, 23:42

''We have sent a highly cultured Jester!''
Awesome

Ashantai · 11-10-2009, 00:55

Now that's funny!

EUROO7 · 11-10-2009, 06:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Artr Thormodr

Nice. Looks promising. ^^

A shield looks promising?

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrangeYoshi

Just don't let it go the way of Riga.

I'm afraid this will go the way of Riga, we need an outlet to the sea, and Riga is the easiest target.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nodscouterr

Go Lithuania!

Uh, Uh, where?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by blsteen

Lithuania takes out Riga first move I'd bet.

Well maybe second after some Muslim country in the south of the Iberian peninusla or northern Africa.

I'm sure we'll see all of that eventually.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Strange

A EUROO7 AAR? About Lithuania? With BOLDED MAGENTA? Definitely going to watch.

Woo!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Throne

Woo, another EUROO7 AAR \o/

Huzzah!

Quote:

Originally Posted by marty99

Hypocrite

EUROO7, if this is just a ploy to stay ahead of OY's postcount...
Subscribed anyway

No.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrangeYoshi

Check my AAR for the reason it hasn't been updated yet.
You gave him the idea.

Quoi?

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrangeYoshi

*chirp chirp*

It was funnier the first time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nodscouterr

''We have sent a highly cultured Jester!''
Awesome

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ashantai

Now that's funny!

Thank you!

***********

Update coming soon...

EUROO7 · 11-10-2009, 06:46

*knock knock*

Who is there?

The King of Poland

The King of Poland who?

Uh... It's the King of Poland.

The King of Poland who?

Is this some sort of joke?!

Yes, you are supposed to come up with a witty response.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand.

...

...

The King of Poland who?

My Lord, May Death Come Swiftly to Our Enemies
The Unauthorised Annals of Lithuania

Throne Room, Ducal Castle, Vilnius, Lithuania:

Vladislovas Valavicius pondered after reading a letter from the King of Poland. He was the Senior Nobleman in the Court of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. He was next in the line of Ducal Succession should the Personal Union with Poland end. He was the winner of the hit reality theatre show "Most Evil-Looking Name". He was many other things as well, but there was something he was not - happy.

The Large Wooden Doors opened, and in entered the court business card maker.

Court Business Card Maker: "Lord Valavicius, I have your business cards ready!"

Vladislovas Valavicius: "Oh, good, good. Court Business Card Maker, do you sometimes wonder if the world has turned against you?"

Court Business Card Maker: "I do not, Lord Valavicius. You see, I have a loving family, I make my living doing what I love, and I work for the Court of the Grand Duke of Lithuania. If I had a ducat for every time I felt happy, I would be a very rich man, My Lord."

Just then, a man with a limp and an accent entered the Courtroom.

Limpy with a French Accent: "Lord Valavicius? My name is Wladislaw, I 'av come from Krakow. I 'av come to make business cards for your court."

Court Business Card Maker: "Oh God, I knew it was too good to last! Ohohoho, Woe is meeeeeee!"

*The Court Business Card Maker runs out of the court crying*

Limpy with a French Accent: "What is 'iz prroblem?"

Vladislovas Valavicius: "He is a happy man. So, the King of Poland sent you?"

Limpy: "Yes, the King of Poland has told to me that the Court of Vilnius will now 'av a new member, and that I am to be making 'iz business cards."

Vladislovas Valavicius: "Yes, I've received his letter. So, let me see the cards."

Limpy: "Ah, yes, 'ere you are."

Vladislovas Valavicius: "Oh God not him."

*Court Jester enters the Courtroom with another nobleman*

Court Jester: "...so he throws the brick into the sky as hard as he can! Ahahahahaha! Oh hi Lord Valavicius, you were right, the King of Poland liked my joke so much that he sent me to work here permanently!"

Vladislovas Valavicius: "The king of Poland who?"

OrangeYoshi · 11-10-2009, 08:19

While there is very little gameplay, the updates are funny.

Urza · 11-10-2009, 09:24

Very funny

Beamed · 11-10-2009, 11:30

If I had a nickel for every time I looked at that jester hat and swore I've seen it in game, I'd have $0.05.

Nodscouterr · 11-10-2009, 12:01

Keep writing!

Range · 11-10-2009, 15:13

I like it...little game play or no game play...have fun!

10-10-2009, 05:41	#1
EUROO7 I'm co-oping with Rudolf Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Portugal, down the Ol' South America way... Posts: 4,075	My Lord, May Death Come Swiftly to Our Enemies - The Unauthorised Annals of Lithuania An After Action Report by EUROO7 Chapter The First: On Vladislovas Valavicius' joke to the King of Poland Chapter The Second: On The King of Poland's joke on Vladislovas Valavicius Chapter The Third: On The Annal Blunder Last edited by EUROO7; 12-10-2009 at 21:58.

10-10-2009, 07:38	#2
Artr Thormodr First Lieutenant Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 215	Nice. Looks promising. ^^ __________________ OPM Addict

10-10-2009, 07:51	#3
OrangeYoshi General of the Mushroom Korps Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: In your computer screen Posts: 5,828 Blog Entries: 19	Just don't let it go the way of Riga. __________________ Complete Werewolf Player History.. O' Oreo, Oreo, wherefore art thou not tasty? ────── OrangeYoshi's Newbie Sig Information Center: Help is just a click away...™ ────── EU3 Wiki lll Paradox Acronyms lll FAQ Forum lll General FAQ lll Siege FAQ lll Patrolling Guidelines I am Sir OrangeYoshi, the Eternal Knight in antracer's One Last HurRAAh... A Milanese Empire Interactive AAR OrangeYoshi

10-10-2009, 09:06	#4
Nodscouterr Lt. General Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scandza Posts: 1,645	Go Lithuania! __________________ My AARs: Lejonet från Norden - A Swedish WWM AAR In the sands of the desert - A Oman WWM AAR -''Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security, will deserve neither and lose both'' -Benjamin Franklin - ''Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window'' -Steve Woszniak - ''A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him'' -Erza pound

10-10-2009, 16:28	#6
Lord Strange The Lord Dragon of the Forums Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Look Up. Posts: 1,202	A EUROO7 AAR? About Lithuania? With BOLDED MAGENTA? Definitely going to watch. __________________ Werewolf Village Fool™ Plus winner of "MOST SUICIDAL" Award Founder of the Lord Strange School of Thought which is as follows: On the First day, thou shalt vote above thyself I award Lord Strange Cookies of British Awesomeness to my favourite AARs ● Come play WEREWOLF-A most excellent way of eating your fellow Paradoxians!

10-10-2009, 15:35	#5
blsteen Captain Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Eastern part of Western Canada Posts: 485	Lithuania takes out Riga first move I'd bet. Well maybe second after some Muslim country in the south of the Iberian peninusla or northern Africa.

10-10-2009, 17:45	#7
Throne Derriere Extraordinaire Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The Throne Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good Posts: 529 Blog Entries: 2	Woo, another EUROO7 AAR \o/ __________________ For if they do these things when the tree is green, what shall happen when it is dry? The Dark Years

10-10-2009, 21:09	#10
EUROO7 I'm co-oping with Rudolf Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Portugal, down the Ol' South America way... Posts: 4,075	Chapter The First 1.- In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. ... ... ... 28194.- God said: Let there be flossing, as to maintain good dental health. ... ... ... 8346128.- And God did allow for the creation of a canned meat product, and He did name it Spam. ... ... ... 73980368.- God then created the Grand Duchy of Lithuania, sold it to Poland for two ducats and left. Amen. My Lord, May Death Come Swiftly to Our Enemies The Unauthorised Annals of Lithuania Ducal Castle, Vilnius, Lithuania: A figure sat on the Throne, silent and motionless. Court Jester: "...so he throws the brick as far as he can into the sky! Ahahahahaha!" chirp chirp The figure slowly leaned forward until it slid off the Throne and fell down the royal steps, finally stopping at the feet of the Jester. Court Jester: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Was my joke that bad?! " The Senior Nobleman in the chamber, Vladislovas Valavicius, stood up. V. Valavicius: "Oh shut up, it's just a mannequin." Court Jester: "But, but, but, where is the Grand Duke?" V. Valavicius: "There IS no God! I mean, no Grand Duke, that's what I meant. There is currently no Grand Duke in Lithuania." Court Jester: "Then why was I brought here?" V. Valavicius: "Because, you fool, we need you to head with all possible haste to the Royal Court of Poland. Once there, you will tell the King the same joke you've just told us. With some luck, he will take it as a great gift and grant us independence so that we may be able to finally choose a Grand Duke of our own!" Court Jester: "But did you find it funny, the joke?" V. Valavicius: "Eh... Of course. Don't worry, the King of Poland is known for having a great sense of humour." A Few Days Later, Royal Court, Krakow, Poland: Court Jester: "...so he throws the brick into the sky as hard as he can! Ahahahahaha!" Last edited by EUROO7; 11-10-2009 at 06:53.

10-10-2009, 21:11	#11
OrangeYoshi General of the Mushroom Korps Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: In your computer screen Posts: 5,828 Blog Entries: 19	chirp chirp __________________ Complete Werewolf Player History.. O' Oreo, Oreo, wherefore art thou not tasty? ────── OrangeYoshi's Newbie Sig Information Center: Help is just a click away...™ ────── EU3 Wiki lll Paradox Acronyms lll FAQ Forum lll General FAQ lll Siege FAQ lll Patrolling Guidelines I am Sir OrangeYoshi, the Eternal Knight in antracer's One Last HurRAAh... A Milanese Empire Interactive AAR OrangeYoshi

10-10-2009, 23:42	#12
Nodscouterr Lt. General Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scandza Posts: 1,645	''We have sent a highly cultured Jester!'' Awesome __________________ My AARs: Lejonet från Norden - A Swedish WWM AAR In the sands of the desert - A Oman WWM AAR -''Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security, will deserve neither and lose both'' -Benjamin Franklin - ''Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window'' -Steve Woszniak - ''A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him'' -Erza pound

11-10-2009, 00:55	#13
Ashantai Captain Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 475	Now that's funny! __________________ Time Travel! Magic! Brandenburg! Come see my newly started AAR as Brandenburg strives to become Germany: http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/...d.php?t=434828

11-10-2009, 06:46	#15
EUROO7 I'm co-oping with Rudolf Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Portugal, down the Ol' South America way... Posts: 4,075	Chapter The Second knock knock Who is there? The King of Poland The King of Poland who? Uh... It's the King of Poland. The King of Poland who? Is this some sort of joke?! Yes, you are supposed to come up with a witty response. I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand. ... ... The King of Poland who? My Lord, May Death Come Swiftly to Our Enemies The Unauthorised Annals of Lithuania Throne Room, Ducal Castle, Vilnius, Lithuania: Vladislovas Valavicius pondered after reading a letter from the King of Poland. He was the Senior Nobleman in the Court of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. He was next in the line of Ducal Succession should the Personal Union with Poland end. He was the winner of the hit reality theatre show "Most Evil-Looking Name". He was many other things as well, but there was something he was not - happy. The Large Wooden Doors opened, and in entered the court business card maker. Court Business Card Maker: "Lord Valavicius, I have your business cards ready!" Vladislovas Valavicius: "Oh, good, good. Court Business Card Maker, do you sometimes wonder if the world has turned against you?" Court Business Card Maker: "I do not, Lord Valavicius. You see, I have a loving family, I make my living doing what I love, and I work for the Court of the Grand Duke of Lithuania. If I had a ducat for every time I felt happy, I would be a very rich man, My Lord." Just then, a man with a limp and an accent entered the Courtroom. Limpy with a French Accent: "Lord Valavicius? My name is Wladislaw, I 'av come from Krakow. I 'av come to make business cards for your court." Court Business Card Maker: "Oh God, I knew it was too good to last! Ohohoho, Woe is meeeeeee!" The Court Business Card Maker runs out of the court crying Limpy with a French Accent: "What is 'iz prroblem?" Vladislovas Valavicius: "He is a happy man. So, the King of Poland sent you?" Limpy: "Yes, the King of Poland has told to me that the Court of Vilnius will now 'av a new member, and that I am to be making 'iz business cards." Vladislovas Valavicius: "Yes, I've received his letter. So, let me see the cards." Limpy: "Ah, yes, 'ere you are." Vladislovas Valavicius: "Oh God not him." Court Jester enters the Courtroom with another nobleman Court Jester: "...so he throws the brick into the sky as hard as he can! Ahahahahaha! Oh hi Lord Valavicius, you were right, the King of Poland liked my joke so much that he sent me to work here permanently!" Vladislovas Valavicius: "The king of Poland who?"

11-10-2009, 08:19	#16
OrangeYoshi General of the Mushroom Korps Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: In your computer screen Posts: 5,828 Blog Entries: 19	While there is very little gameplay, the updates are funny. __________________ Complete Werewolf Player History.. O' Oreo, Oreo, wherefore art thou not tasty? ────── OrangeYoshi's Newbie Sig Information Center: Help is just a click away...™ ────── EU3 Wiki lll Paradox Acronyms lll FAQ Forum lll General FAQ lll Siege FAQ lll Patrolling Guidelines I am Sir OrangeYoshi, the Eternal Knight in antracer's One Last HurRAAh... A Milanese Empire Interactive AAR OrangeYoshi

11-10-2009, 09:24	#17
Urza Captain Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Rheinland Posts: 379	Very funny

11-10-2009, 11:30	#18
Beamed American Tyrant Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Detroit, Michigan Posts: 1,698 Blog Entries: 2	If I had a nickel for every time I looked at that jester hat and swore I've seen it in game, I'd have $0.05. __________________ Currently playing the OT forum game known as Superpower VII as Ferdinand Rayonne, Enlightened Emperor of the Archduchy of Austria, Kingdoms of Hungary, Bohemia, and Croatia, and fighter of Napoleonic aggression. Current actions: valiently rallying the Austrian Empire to my cause against the French, as well as yelling at the Kingdom of Bavaria for trying to conquer random pieces of Germany. Sir Beamed the Knight of Sutherland in Antracer's Milan Interactive AAR, an AAR of intrigue, debate, and constant rejection of the established reality. though really I haven't posted nearly as much as I ought have

11-10-2009, 12:01	#19
Nodscouterr Lt. General Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scandza Posts: 1,645	Keep writing! __________________ My AARs: Lejonet från Norden - A Swedish WWM AAR In the sands of the desert - A Oman WWM AAR -''Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security, will deserve neither and lose both'' -Benjamin Franklin - ''Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window'' -Steve Woszniak - ''A slave is one who waits for someone to come and free him'' -Erza pound

11-10-2009, 15:13	#20
Range Major Join Date: May 2009 Location: Long Island, New York Posts: 501 Blog Entries: 3	I like it...little game play or no game play...have fun! __________________ Previously Completed AARs:\ Ireland Forever * Scotland, the Brave, the Strong and the Free * Riga - Range's Sabbatical (Yeah Sure) * Morocco - Casablanca * Poland * Range, Scotland's Highland Chieftain * Yemen - The Happy Arabia Winner of King_Richard_XI's 3rd ever Irish Shamrock Cookie .