Downfall of the Reich, Germany 1944 AAR

Erm... how do i put screenies
If someone answers, update shall be ready tomorrow(or, in paradox time, somewhere around 7 pm)

In the tragic day of june 20, 1944, the allies finally established a foothold in northern France.
The once proud Wehrmacht, which was supposed to protect the beaches, had the lowest possible rate of morale, and not even the half-naked SS cheerleaders could make them be more motivated.

sorry gals, you didn´t help. and is that what you call half-naked? this is probably the worst morale lifting team i have ever seen.

uhum, erm, well, where were we...
oh yes! the state of our army!

as you can see, our empire is pretty empty.
James Earl Jones: And believe me, it'll get even emptier...
shut the fuck up james. go narrate some crappy movie. I am the narrator here.
James Earl Jones: But i've been narrator for years, and... and... I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!!
sorry, this didn't work.
Now, let's check where we are loosing the most.


situation in the east is sure very critical, however most of our troops are there to resist the red flood. and remember, we're better dead than soviet!

and that, I think, is our first victory. things sure are looking nicer now...(i know, picz are messed up)

oh, forget about it. 3 days after the establishment of the beachhead, americans conquered Paris.
James Earl Jones: didn't want to say I told you so, but... I told you so.
[sigh] god, now I now why Stalin killed all his advisors.

d'oh! indeed, my screenshots appear not to be working.
if i'm not able to fix that, i think there's no way to continue this AAR

good news, as this shows, i am now capable of uploading picz.
so i will be able to continue this.
(not that someone really read this, though)

well the picture is working. for me, that is.

UPDATE

Hitler: Hey, where's mein fancy title?
Himmler: Well, first the russians bombed it to ashes, then they captured it in a mission and sent it as a gift to Stalin.
Himmler: Time for your daily " I am surrounded by idiots" moment, my führer?
Hitler: Yes. thanks for reminding me.
cahem...
I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS! DAS WAR EIN BEFEHL! EIN BEFEHL!
Rommel: Hey guys I brought the daily news from the front.
Hitler: EIN BEFEHL! EIN BEFEEEEEEHL!
Himmler: you know you shouldn't have arrived at 3pm. that's when he yells at everybody.
(Hitler starts foaming and falls into the ground)
Rommel: Bitch, pleeeease. I was fighting the russians.
Himmler: shouldn't you be fighting the americans or something? anyway, the russians are a piece of cake.
Goering: CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
Himmler: shit.
Hitler: BLABLUMBLABLERGH!
Himmler: Okay, it appears that I am actually the one surrounded by idiots.
Rommel: Hey!
nameless german soldier 1#: Mein Führer! the French landed at Marseille!
(cricket cricket cricket)
...



(more uncomfortable silence)
...


Hitler, not foaming anymore: Mein Freund. The russians are taking over eastern europe. the americans are doing the same in the west, and are inflicting huge losses. why should i care about a dozen frogs landing in an unimportant french city?
german soldier 1#: well, it is actually the second biggest city in france. and after the fall of Paris, the most important city controlled by us in occupied france. It is also our biggest port in the mediterranean.
Hitler:
Rommel: coughOWNEDcough
Himmler: coughPWNEDcough
Goering: coughCAKEcough
Hitler: Oh, my loyal minions are not even loyal anymore. but that guy, Stauffenberg. He is really, really nice to me.
Stauffenberg: Oh hello Führer. I just prepared you breakfast. look, muffins and cupcakes, shaped like swastikas. I also brought you the newspapers.
Hitler: hum, Let's see what "the Deutscher" brings us today. "Hitler kicks ass".
as usual. hum, that's new. "French Landing defeated."


to be continued...

update in a few hours.

DOWNFALL OF TH


Hitler: Oh, I noticed you are rebuilding the title.
Rommel: yes, we have achieved significant progress in this mission.
Random Scientist: Noble Leader, we have wonderful news!
Hitler: Great, I love wonderful news. even more than great news and slightly good news.
Random Scientist: we have succeeded in developing an Artificial Intelligence.
However, we couldn't agree on a good name. we were to decide between "Great Leader" as a tribute to your years of command, or "Deutscher-Österreichisch Sonderbund, to commemorate our eight years of union with Austria. finally, Doktor Graut thought about merging the two names. And then, du-dun, we have Great Leader auf Deutscher-Osterreichisch Sonderbund, or GlaDOS for short.
Hitler: sounds like fun. can I play Tetris on it?
Random Scientist: hum, Sir, Tetris is a russian soviet game.
Hitler(chewing a hamburger and cleaning his moustache with an Union-Jack while reading Gogol): what?
Random Scientist: hum, nothing.
Stauffenberg: Hey my Führer. I brought you dessert. Strange enough, this new AI system installed weird white things in the front door. they shoot. I barely escaped alive.
GLaDOS: Thank you, [subject name here], you succeeded in the first test. After the tests are over, cake will be served.
Goering, bursting into the room: CAAAAAAKE!
Stauffenberg: The cake is a lie.
Goering: (faints)
Hitler: it seems all is calm in the kingdom of Nazi Germania.
Random Soldier 2#: Führer, brussels has fallen!
Hitler: oh fuck.