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Alfred Packer

Off Again
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Jun 3, 2007
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HeadlessColosses.jpg

SPQR
The Senate and People of Rhodes

Winner of the Q2 and Q3 2009 ARRLand Choice Awards for Most Humorous EU:Rome AAR*
*Tied with Peter Ebesson's We Three Kings in Q3...with 1 vote apiece.

Rhodes. The largish, but not so largish as Crete or Cyprus, island off the coast of Anatolia had been home to a Bold and Sea-Faring People since time immemorial.

The island was inhabited in the Neolithic period, although little remains of this culture. In the 8th century BAUC the Minoans came to Rhodes, and later Greek mythology recalled a Rhodian race they called the Telchines, and associated Rhodes with Danaus; it was sometimes nicknamed Telchinis. In the 7th century BAUC the Achaeans invaded. It was, however, in the 4th century BAUC that the island started to flourish, with the coming of the Dorians. It was the Dorians who later built the three important cities of Lindos, Ialyssos and Kameiros, which together with Kos, Cnidus and Halicarnassus (on the mainland) made up the so-called Dorian Hexapolis.

In Pindar's ode, the island was said to be born of the union of Helios the sun god and the nymph Rhode, and the cities were named for their three sons. The rhoda is a pink hibiscus native to the island. Diodorus Siculus added that Actis, one of the sons of Helios and Rhode travelled to Egypt where he built the city of Heliopolis and he taught the Egyptians the science of astrology.

Invasions by the Persians eventually overran the island, but after their defeat by the forces from Athens in 276 AUC, the cities joined the Athenian League. When the Peloponnesian War broke out in 323 AUC, Rhodes remained largely neutral, although it remained a member of the League. The war lasted until 350 AUC, but by this time Rhodes had withdrawn entirely from the conflict and had decided to go her own way.

In 346 AUC the cities united to form one territory, and built a new capital on the northern end of the island, the city of Rhodes: its regular plan was superintended by the Athenian architect Hippodamus. However the Peloponnesian War had so weakened the entire Greek culture that it lay open to invasion. In 397 AUC the island was conquered by the king Mausolus of Caria, then fell to the Persians 414 AUC. But their rule was also short and to the great relief of its citizens, Rhodes became a part of the growing empire of Alexander III of Macedon in 422 AUC after he defeated the Persians.

The Acropolis of LindosFollowing the death of Alexander his generals vied for control of the kingdom. Three of them, Ptolemy, Seleucus, and Antigonus, succeeded in dividing the kingdom among themselves. Rhodes formed strong commercial and cultural ties with the Ptolemies in Alexandria, and together they formed the Rhodo-Egyptian alliance. The city developed into a maritime, commercial and cultural center and its coins were in circulation almost everywhere in the Mediterranean. Its famous schools of philosophy, science, literature and rhetoric, shared masters with Alexandria: the Athenian rhetorician Aeschines who formed a school at Rhodes; Apollonius of Rhodes; the observations and works of the astronomers Hipparchus and Geminus, the rhetorician Dionysios Trax. Its school of sculptors developed a rich, dramatic style that can be characterized as "Hellenistic Baroque".

In 449 AUC, Antigonus had his son, Demetrius besiege Rhodes in an attempt to break its alliance with Egypt. Demetrius created huge siege engines including a 180 ft (55 m) battering ram and a siege tower named Helepolis that weighed 360,000 pounds (163,293 kg). Despite this engagement, in 450 AUC, after only one year he relented and signed a peace agreement, leaving behind a huge store of military equipment. The Rhodians sold the equipment and used the money to erect a statue of their sun god, Helios, the statue now known as Colossus of Rhodes.

From here, it all went downhill. In 464, Laertes Apollonid rode a Populist Wave to power and siezed control of the Island-State as a Tyrant. He clung to power, sometimes with and sometimes without, the support of the leading citizens. Part of his control involved the slow dismantling of any competing power structures within the state, leaving him in possession of sole legal authority within the State.
 
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Good luck! Subscribed :)
 
Will you laugh with the misery, failure and woe? If that's the case I'm on board...;):D
 
This sounds interesting! Rhodes seems like a hard nation to play. If I remember, it's a one-province minor with no land connections. Right in between Macedonia and the Seleucids, too, and near Egypt if the Seleucids don't conquer Egypt's Anatolian holdings.

So, will you cuddle up to one of the nearby major powers, or rough it and take your own path? I'm eager to find out! :D
 
Good luck! Rhodes is an interesting choice.

Thanks :) And it is an interesting place to play.

This sounds interesting! Rhodes seems like a hard nation to play. If I remember, it's a one-province minor with no land connections. Right in between Macedonia and the Seleucids, too, and near Egypt if the Seleucids don't conquer Egypt's Anatolian holdings.

So, will you cuddle up to one of the nearby major powers, or rough it and take your own path? I'm eager to find out! :D

You remember correctly! and as for the path: Rhodes Bows before none!

Good luck! Subscribed :)

Thanks, I'll need it!

Will you laugh with the misery, failure and woe? If that's the case I'm on board...;):D

But of course! (I hope)

-----

I have re-worked the intro, including a long and boring segment on the Pre-History of Rhodes. This is to keep the riff-raff away from this thread. Those of you in the know, well, just read the first and last paragraphs.
 
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450-473 auc

SPQR

Episode 1 - Sic Semper Tyrannus! (Just in Greek)

Laertes the Tyrant, tired of certain baseless rumors about the source of his tremendous wealth, wealth which incidently funded his rise to power, decided to take on the nay-sayers personally at the Annual Victory Over Dead Alexander's Successor's Feast, traditionally eaten on the open decks of boats floating around the Collosus' feet.



Tyrant1.jpg






Tyrant2.jpg






Tyrant3.jpg






Tyrant4.jpg






HeadlessColosses.jpg






Tyrant6.jpg


And so, Rhodes found itself leaderless, rudderless and headless at a critical moment in its history. Join us next time as a handful of weathly landowners and businessmen come together to save the city, or at least to line their own pockets
 
Yup, I'll follow this for sure... :D
 
Hahaha yes, excellent stuff, I did enjoy the Head to Ship action, very python-esque in artwork terms, I'll echo Murmy :D
 
Another one to follow. Off to a good start, in the usual 'how bad can this get' vein. :D

<checks calendar, sees 'work', marks out, replaces with 'read Packer AAR'>

Good start, though you had me wondering a bit as I read the first post. Of course, you clarified that for me:
I have re-worked the intro, including a long and boring segment on the Pre-History of Rhodes. This is to keep the riff-raff away from this thread.
Interesting. So this means your an elitist low-brow comedian? :)
 
Yup, I'll follow this for sure... :D

Oh good!

Hahaha yes, excellent stuff, I did enjoy the Head to Ship action, very python-esque in artwork terms, I'll echo Murmy :D

Thanks :)

I was wondering why the colossus lacked a head in the first post. Great start.

Thanks!

Brilliant start, now let us continue this adventure, onwards let us fill our pocketbooks!

Haha...yes onwards!

Another one to follow. Off to a good start, in the usual 'how bad can this get' vein. :D

<checks calendar, sees 'work', marks out, replaces with 'read Packer AAR'>

Good start, though you had me wondering a bit as I read the first post. Of course, you clarified that for me:

Interesting. So this means your an elitist low-brow comedian? :)

I guess it does...I only want people willing to work for their fart jokes!

-----
Alright...next update is right now! No great sight-gags, but I guess I have to actuallyset the scene...although I have its follow-up already written...I'm just looking for good pictures of the Roman Senate (or some Greek Equivalent) sitting in session...okay, so that's the real reason for a setup-y post...picture hunting
 
473 still: In Which The AuthAAR Loses His Audience

SPQR

Episode 2 – Setting The Stage

Convention.jpg



With the death of the Tyrant, the leading citizens of Rhodes came together, in a spirit of unity and cooperation, to discuss the future of their island nation.

No, just kidding, they fought and bickered like children, eventually splitting into five ‘Factions’ or ‘Political Parties.’ The only thing they could agree on, mostly, was color-coding the parties for easy reference. They were:

Red for the Military Party, more commonly referred to as the Reds. Their symbol was a sword raised in anger. You know. Because they are the Military Party. Creative bunch, those Military Party Guys.

Blue for the Religious Party, who preferred to call themselves Templers, but were referred to as ‘The Gods Squad’ by the other parties. Their symbol was a picture of a Temple. The Templers were not renowned for their subtlety.

Yellow for the Merchants Party, well, they preferred to call it ‘Gold,’ but the Reds insisted on calling them Yellow and, eventually, this stuck. Their symbol is paperwork. Or rather, promissory notes issued to the over-spent and often bankrupt old aristocratic families, forced to borrow from the New Rich merchants in order to keep up appearances. The Yellows were not terribly well liked outside the small circle of ‘New Rich’ merchants.

The more Civic-Minded Citizens joined the Green Party, which was mostly concerned with building statues and nice buildings and dedicating these structures to themselves. Like the Religious Party, they represent the oldest and most aristocratic families. In fact, they are such old families that no one remembers any more why a hammer smashing gold coins is a good symbol. It is assumed to mean that they consider the ‘New Rich’ to be annoying, but then, who doesn’t.

Finally, there was the Populist Party (also known as ‘The Black Panthers’ and, sometimes, ‘The Real Reds’). They made great rumblings about supporting the ‘common pleb’ working class against the oppressive patrician overlords. They wanted Red as their color, indeed claiming it as the birth-right of their party, but since the Military Party formed a few hours earlier and had already claimed the color, they had to settle for black (although, rebels to the end, they use some red too). Their symbol is a fist raised in anger, at the Military Party, for stealing their color.



And thus ends the ‘Set-Up.’ Join us next time as the convention gets underway and we learn why Kleitos’ fast boat was important enough to make it into the Convention Header. We are, I suspect, another couple updates away from learning why Aristonomes is lucky.

 
Ooh, this bears all the hallmarks of a truly gargantuan train wreck in the making! We don't just have gross incompetence, we also get spite and jealousy! I can't wait to see what these guys come up with - and the catastrophic consequences of their decisions, for Rhodes and the world at large. For if the Crovans have taught us anything, it's that gross incompetence doesn't mean that the rest of the world is safe. Far from it... :)
 
I'd suggest to decapitate Asklepiodorus too for his name and also stupid nick... :D
 
I'd suggest to decapitate Asklepiodorus too for his name and also stupid nick... :D

What! Lepi is a totally awesome nickname!

Ooh, this bears all the hallmarks of a truly gargantuan train wreck in the making! We don't just have gross incompetence, we also get spite and jealousy! I can't wait to see what these guys come up with - and the catastrophic consequences of their decisions, for Rhodes and the world at large. For if the Crovans have taught us anything, it's that gross incompetence doesn't mean that the rest of the world is safe. Far from it... :)

I really hope I don't disappoint you. I really want a delightful trainwreck too :)

Not the black panthers :eek:

Anyways, I know who I am supporting...Mercantilism!! :D

Go Yellow-Bellies!

Incredibly good!

*subscribes*

Thanks!

Hahahaha. Fantastic. Your depiction of faction formation is too perfect. I can't wait to see how this goes for the Rhodesians.

Thanks! I'm going to guess 'not well,' but we'll see!