The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much

[Kommunaut]

Crovanis Universalis 2? I'd play that game. Also, you should have put multiple shields up, but all for Norway. ex: Crovan Empire, Crovania, Crovan Norway, Norway et cetera. So no matter which shield the player presses, it does the same thing, giving the illusion of free will.

[Von Uber]

Meh Crovanis Universalis 2 blatantly needs patching to remove the blobbing and uber cavalry.

[Alfred Packer]

First off: No update today...sorry, but with Erik's death, I found that I was only about 10 years ahead, game-wise, and I like to be about 50-60 years ahead so I have an idea where things are going to go.

That said, I've been diligently playing away (up to 1635 now) and I have come across an interesting decision. I can form Scandinavia.

Now, I wouldn't dream of doing so until, say 1140, for RP reasons, but the question is: should I? I can think of ways to explain all the changes within the story, so that isn't a problem and, since I've never formed Scandinavia before, it might be fun.

The question is: is it going to screw everything up farther on down the line? Will 'Scandinavia' convert to Vicky? and what about HOI?
(One reason I might is that, in my trial conversions to Vicky, I can get all the countries to convert except for an Indian OPM and Norway, so it's not like I'm having an easy time with the converter anyway and, who knows, it might help)

I don't really know, so I'm going to try and find out, but if any of you have a reason I should -or shouldn't - switch to Scandinavia, please let me know!


and now, onto feedback!

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Originally Posted by MistMage

Alas! Poor Torsson. I'd say more but I'm not really very proficient in Shakespeareisms. Still, it had to happen eventually.

Indeed it did

Originally Posted by Murmurandus

Ah, the Tension... Oh, the Mime...

Alas, poor Torsson, he splattered well.

Originally Posted by Stuyvesant

I guess once Erik Torsson spoke, he broke the mime-spell and lost all chances of growing invisible wings to fly to safety. It is truly all his own fault. <Nods>

While I wholly applaud paranoia directed at mimes, it's a little harder to work up enthusiasm for the latest target of Erik's suspicion (I guess it's a bias that comes with having small offspring of one's own). Thankfully, while it is true that Erik is the consummate mass murderer, I'm confident that in the intellect department, Erik can't even play Pinky to Dan's The Brain. So hopefully, brains can beat bludgeon.

Don't worry (as you've seen) Dan protected the lad!

Originally Posted by Enewald

Yeah, conquer Normandy!
From there you can reconquest Anglia and alot of old Imperial Crovanium!

Oh yeah! I forgot all of Britain and France were once part of the Crovan Playground

Originally Posted by demokratickid

Personally, i think little Erik is the most intelligent one in the entire conversation... Nice work, AP!

ha!

Originally Posted by CSK

It's good to see that at least Crovania hasn't lost its oppressive ways.
Good allusion to 1984 too, very fitting.

Thanks

Originally Posted by Enewald

Please select which king of Crovania you want to play sounds awesome.
Crovania doesn't need other states, they have everything they need within the boundaries of their empire, re-education camps and poems.

That's what the minister of fun said!

Originally Posted by Stuyvesant

Seems that tidbit answers at least one question you throw up...

So the Crovans continue the proud tradition of shedding their mortal coil (along with some other unmentionables) on the crapper. Given Erik's young age (only 33?), I suspect foul play at the behest of his successor.

I enjoyed the change of viewpoint. Just out of curiosity: how long did it take you to mock up those screenies for 'Crovanus Universalis II'?

Not too long, I used a mix of MS Paint and the picture editor from Photobucket...and it shows

Originally Posted by Murmurandus

Hmm, it makes me wonder how a seemingly smart Crovan (yes, contradictio in terminis) comes to a very Crovanian end...

end...get it

Originally Posted by Kommunaut

Crovanis Universalis 2? I'd play that game. Also, you should have put multiple shields up, but all for Norway. ex: Crovan Empire, Crovania, Crovan Norway, Norway et cetera. So no matter which shield the player presses, it does the same thing, giving the illusion of free will.

Doh! This is a brilliant idea!

Originally Posted by Von Uber

Meh Crovanis Universalis 2 blatantly needs patching to remove the blobbing and uber cavalry.

And I think we all miss the graceful beauty of CU1's 1d map. 2d is for loozers.

[Kommunaut]

Originally Posted by Alfred Packer

First off: No update today...sorry, but with Erik's death, I found that I was only about 10 years ahead, game-wise, and I like to be about 50-60 years ahead so I have an idea where things are going to go.

That said, I've been diligently playing away (up to 1635 now) and I have come across an interesting decision. I can form Scandinavia.

Now, I wouldn't dream of doing so until, say 1140, for RP reasons, but the question is: should I? I can think of ways to explain all the changes within the story, so that isn't a problem and, since I've never formed Scandinavia before, it might be fun.

The question is: is it going to screw everything up farther on down the line? Will 'Scandinavia' convert to Vicky? and what about HOI?
(One reason I might is that, in my trial conversions to Vicky, I can get all the countries to convert except for an Indian OPM and Norway, so it's not like I'm having an easy time with the converter anyway and, who knows, it might help)

I don't really know, so I'm going to try and find out, but if any of you have a reason I should -or shouldn't - switch to Scandinavia, please let me know!

Both Vicky and HoI2 have Scandinavia. If Vicky doesn't have Norway, I say do it.

[Alfred Packer]

Originally Posted by Kommunaut

Both Vicky and HoI2 have Scandinavia. If Vicky doesn't have Norway, I say do it.

It's unanimous then. So long as the stars are right, Crovania will get a new flag in 1642!

Oh: and, I'm pretty excited about developments in the 1620-1635 area...some good material in there.

[Alfred Packer]

Brain-Dan Bardsson Crovan

Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the East and West Vikings, Pontifix Maxmimus, Lord of the Skraelings



Dan Dabbles In Petty Vengeance
(23 November 1583 – 20 January 1586)








Dan burst into his wife’s apartments in Lisboa’s King’s Castle. “Well, my dear, the deed is done. Now, I’m jumping ship immediately to catch up with the Army of Norway. They are hitting some of Tripoli’s Atlantic provinces and I shall command them. They think I’ve been with the fleet all along, a perfect cover.”







Ragnhild regarded her husband for a moment. “First, Dan, you should bathe. You are perfectly filthy. And good lord, that smell!”







“Wah, wah, wah, dada stinky!”







“Ha! If you think I’m a sight, you should see your dad! He was right underneath…well…nevermind.”







Dan was in an excellent frame of mind. The war against Riga was going splendidly. Portugal should gain some fine lands from this massive conquest, moving Crovania another step closer to sealing off the Mediterranean.







To which could be added a swift victory in Ifni, with the city falling only 6 days after this lightning battle. Yes, Dan had it all figured out and everything was going according to plan. Until…






















The envoy bowed, “His Most Olafian Monarch, The King of Portugal, sends you greetings and wishes you continued success in your war against Riga and Tripoli. A war he has decided to leave.”






































































“You know what? I did take Galicia as part of the peace deal.”







“But only so I could give to Castile, who managed to understand the purpose of ‘let’s all kick Riga’s ass.’”







“I’ve also decided to send the Sino Expedition out again.”







“They’ve been provided with enough arms and soldiers to enable a successful ‘negotiation’ for trading ports in the Indian Ocean.”







“Sire, I apologize for this interruption, but something urgent has come up.”







“Really? What is it?







“The German nobility, sire. Your reputation is somewhat…weaker…than your brother’s. They think they can force some concessions through threats of rebellion. What’s worse is they’ve threatened to place your cousin Ossor Magnusson Crovan on the throne in your place.”

Crisis in Crovania! We know how Erik would have handled a rebellion. How will Dan cope with this uprising? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!

[MistMage]

Whether the tag says Norway or Scandinavia the country remains Crovania, rite? Still, that was a short time to think it over.

Also: Silent panels are effective.

[Enewald]

Yeah, more conquests!!!
Moar!!!

[Murmurandus]

Don't forget to crush those filthy Portuguese Crovans once dust has settled down...

[Stuyvesant]

“Wah, wah, wah, dada stinky!”

Perceptive little lad. Boy, the Crovans do take the whole 'Catch 'em with their pants down' rather literally, don't they?

Methinks Olaf did not enjoy learning about the sudden loss of muscle control that violent death often induces. Perhaps that explains his rather hasty withdrawal from the war? Of course, it could also be your average Crovan-genes-acting-up episode.

Since Dan is fairly smart, I would expect him to use the German nobles as an example, a demonstration of his willingness to employ ultraviolence on those who get uppity. Then again, maybe he's smarter than that. Or maybe he's a Crovan. It's anybody's guess, really.

[Qorten]

The audience of the Portuguese emissary was great. Very well done silence there when he asked for Galicia if Crovania should conquer it.

[Von Uber]

Nice.

[demokratickid]

Once more, I feel the child is the most intelligent person in the room... Nice work, sir!

[Jebus]

Originally Posted by Alfred Pakcer

The question is: is it going to screw everything up farther on down the line? Will 'Scandinavia' convert to Vicky? and what about HOI?
(One reason I might is that, in my trial conversions to Vicky, I can get all the countries to convert except for an Indian OPM and Norway, so it's not like I'm having an easy time with the converter anyway and, who knows, it might help)

The reason you're not getting Norway to convert (which must seem like a bitch) is because the EU3-Ricky converter never converts the first (three?) countries in the country list of the EU3 savegame - and the very first one is always the country that is played by the human player. (and you'll get this problem no matter which country you play)

Just add three random tags of nations that aren't in the EU3 savegame anymore (like, say, Switzerland, Flanders and Sweden) as the first three countries in the country list of the original EU3 savegame - and then you'll be set!
Also, when launching the Ricky conversion for the first time remember to launch it as an insignificant minor and let it run for a week of gametime - because the first days really screw the country the player is controlling up.

If this is hard to follow, just imagine having to firgure it out by yourself after your resurgant Byzantine empire, conquering the world since 1066, suddenly disappears when you convert it...

Anyway, off to read the actual update now!

*EDIT* Also, Alfred, we have the exact same game icon list under our names! It's like we're meant to be together or something. *smooches*

[Alfred Packer]

Originally Posted by MistMage

Whether the tag says Norway or Scandinavia the country remains Crovania, rite? Still, that was a short time to think it over.

Also: Silent panels are effective.

Thanks! And, had my laptop not died horrifically Thursday evening, I thought I was going to play through the critical date, so I had to decide quickly. Turns out, I probably won't cross that milestone in game for a few more days.

Originally Posted by Enewald

Yeah, more conquests!!!
Moar!!!

Hooray!

Originally Posted by Murmurandus

Don't forget to crush those filthy Portuguese Crovans once dust has settled down...

Oh they're on the list. Right under Hated Brahe England, Vile Bohemia and Despicable Russia.

Originally Posted by Stuyvesant

Perceptive little lad. Boy, the Crovans do take the whole 'Catch 'em with their pants down' rather literally, don't they?

Methinks Olaf did not enjoy learning about the sudden loss of muscle control that violent death often induces. Perhaps that explains his rather hasty withdrawal from the war? Of course, it could also be your average Crovan-genes-acting-up episode.

Since Dan is fairly smart, I would expect him to use the German nobles as an example, a demonstration of his willingness to employ ultraviolence on those who get uppity. Then again, maybe he's smarter than that. Or maybe he's a Crovan. It's anybody's guess, really.

Your expectations about Dan are right...and same with Olaf...I figure its a mixture of disgust over the bowel control thing and a good old-fashioned Crovan 'middle finger', leave the allies in the lurch Foreign Policy move.

Originally Posted by Qorten

The audience of the Portuguese emissary was great. Very well done silence there when he asked for Galicia if Crovania should conquer it.

Thanks. I'm glad you all like how that turned out.

Originally Posted by Von Uber

Nice.

Thanks! glad you liked it.

Originally Posted by demokratickid

Once more, I feel the child is the most intelligent person in the room... Nice work, sir!

What is that Deus Vult mod that makes all children into morons at age 12 or so? I think the Crovans are the 'beta test' for that.

Originally Posted by Jebus

The reason you're not getting Norway to convert (which must seem like a bitch) is because the EU3-Ricky converter never converts the first (three?) countries in the country list of the EU3 savegame - and the very first one is always the country that is played by the human player. (and you'll get this problem no matter which country you play)

Just add three random tags of nations that aren't in the EU3 savegame anymore (like, say, Switzerland, Flanders and Sweden) as the first three countries in the country list of the original EU3 savegame - and then you'll be set!
Also, when launching the Ricky conversion for the first time remember to launch it as an insignificant minor and let it run for a week of gametime - because the first days really screw the country the player is controlling up.

If this is hard to follow, just imagine having to firgure it out by yourself after your resurgant Byzantine empire, conquering the world since 1066, suddenly disappears when you convert it...

Anyway, off to read the actual update now!

*EDIT* Also, Alfred, we have the exact same game icon list under our names! It's like we're meant to be together or something. *smooches*

My god we do! <3

(and thanks for the conversion tip...I've been losing my mind over that!)

-----


And everyone, God officially loves the Crovans. I was backing up my data Thursday before I left work and, on a whim, I decided to backup my screen captures and the save file for this game. Thursday night, my laptop died a horrible death. Thanks to a lucky CD find and gamersgate, I have EUIII up and running already. Thanks to a timely back up, I still have the Crovan Clan...for better or worse.

[Alfred Packer]

Brain-Dan Bardsson Crovan

Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the East and West Vikings, Pontifix Maxmimus, Lord of the Skraelings



In Which Moral Riddles Are Solved
(20 January 1586 – 25 November 1590)








Having refused all offers of amnesty, the rebels under Ossor Magnusson Crovan rose up against the crown. “Hmm. I need to stop them, but I want to make sure a lesson is learned here. There are 6,000 of them?”







“I shall send 60,000 to smash them like the insects they are.”







“Excellent decision sire, that will teach them. Sire, we’ve received word from the Second Sino Expedition, with three major developments.”







“Firstly, the Hated English have been spotted sailing the African coastline. Apparently they have decided to simply copy everything Your Majesty does, rather than seek out their own fancy discoveries.”







“Hmm. That is an interesting development. One we will have to watch. What other news do they bring, Aksel?”







“Well, sire, it appears that our colony on the coast has begun enslaving large numbers of the natives, and even sending foraging parties into the interior to seek out new peoples to plunder. Now, simple slavery, well sure, that’s no problem, but these folks are being loaded up on ships and sent away from the only world and people they’ve ever known forever to work the plantations, mines, forests and Bear Farms of the New World Colonies. Now, as a Christian Nation, and with Olaf Christ having returned as a member of your own family, this is an unconscionable development! I think we…”







“Unconscionable? Why Aksel! You haven’t thought this through have you?”







“Pardon, sire? I just don’t see how this is consistent with our core values.”







“Ah! Well then let me enlighten you.”

“First of all, What is the key problem with our American colonies?”







“Oh well that’s easy. Profitability. There just aren’t enough individuals to work the abundant forests, mines, sugar and cotton plantations, and the bear farms are always having to replace handlers.”







“Right…now, if we were having this problem right here in good old Crovania proper what would we do to solve it?”







“Oh that’s easy, we’d just make the serfs do it!”







“Exactly! And why can’t we do this in Skraelingia and Vinland?”







“Oh, there’s no serfs there.”







“Spot on. And why can’t we just send over serfs we already possess?”







“Oh yeah, they are bound to the land they work in perpetuity. We’d have to kill any that went to the New World just on principle.”







“Right Aksel, you’re really following this well. So why don’t we just enslave the Skraelings?”







“Oh we have, at least the ones we can catch, but between Birger and smallpox, there just aren’t that many of them…OOOhhhh, now I get it!”







“You’re such a smart boy, I knew you would. Don’t think of them as slaves Aksel. Just think of them as portable serfs.”







“Well now that that’s out of the way, dear husband, I am eager to hear, what else did the Sino Expedition do?”







“Ha! You’re right dear, I’ve gotten distracted with my little lesson. Tell us more Aksel.”







Aksel’s conscience was now clear. “Oh, well, they ‘negotiated’ permanent access with a people known as the Swahili. We will have permanent access to all their ivory, gold, trade goods, tax revenue and,” Aksel winked, “portable serfs. In exchange, they will do whatever the Sino Expedition asks and try not to bleed all over our guns and steel pikes anymore.”







“That is fantastic news. I have another piece of good news myself.”







“Russia has just concluded a long, drawn out, but ultimately successful war in their far eastern lands. While I am not a big fan of Russian wins, this does present us with a nice opportunity. Our well rested and mostly local army numbers 244,000, while the tired and far away Russian armies number only half that for the moment. While they are busy marching back and replacing their losses, we can swallow up some of the little guys without too much risk.”

“Ah yes, another glorious day in Crovania. Nothing can spoil this!”







“Huh. My left arm is all tingly and numb. I guess I pulled something at that last mass convers…oooh…tightness in chest…”

*hurk*

Oh no! Birger the Navigator has passed! Will Crovania ever see his like again? Will the Portable Serfs express displeasure at their new status? Will this gamble against Russia work? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!

[Murmurandus]

Portable Serfs... oh my, Brain-Dan is way ahead of his time...

[Enewald]

Haha, when slavery no more exists, something better takes its place.
Btw, why 'SINO' expedition?
What is this sino?

[English Patriot]

Loved the conversation with the envoys from portugal, mega LOLZ

[Stuyvesant]

Ah, Dan fancies himself as something of a teacher! Very instructive explanation and much more productive than Erik the Pugnacious' usual response, which would've been to stab Aksel to death as an example.

It feels like Birger has been around for centuries, so it was inevitable that he would bite the dust sooner or later. Still, it's sad to see such a towering figure in Crovan history depart. No doubt the proper development of the New World will suffer setbacks now that Birger's firm but loving guiding hand has been removed from the Skraelings.

Finally, while it is a bit scary to think of God loving the Crovans, it does make sense. Did not Marving Gaye sing that 'God is love'? Plus, with all the saints coming from the early Crovans, it seems only reasonable that God would want to see that glorious bloodline continue.