Revival of the Kingdom of - wait, what? We never had one? - A Swiss WC AAR

DirtyCommiePuke · 28-08-2007, 22:25

Revival of the Kingdom of -
wait, what, we never had one?

DDA 1.1
Switzerland
Tech Team and IC Takeover OFF
No mods except graphics (SKIF)

The shady man stepped up to the platform. He was so shady he made shades of grey look like hues of pink. Infact, he was so shady, he made sunglasses look like thick nerdy ones. Hell, he was so shady he made Slim Shady look like Slim Regular.

"It is time Switzerland retook its place on the world map!" he proclaimed. "I promise a revival of the kingdom of - wait, what? We never had one? Oh, in that case, I promise to create a Kingdom of Switzerland, which we can then destroy so that it may be revived - wait, what? Oh, OK, let's just keep the first one. Then we can do other stuff instead of reviving it."

The starting situation was bleak, the shady man had to admit. But he had a plan...

Two and a half years later, Switzerland's industry was booming. The annual League of Nations summit was held in Zurich that year.

"What's that?" Chamberlain asked the shady man, pointing at a big screen thing with research projects on it. Luckily, the shady man had a red marker and quickly covered it up.

"Nothing," he said, then laughed, evilly. "Bwahaha."

"Pardon?" Chamerlain said.

"Nothing."

-----

Err, anyway, yeah, Switzerland WC AAR.

Alexus · 01-09-2007, 10:53

I literally laughed out loud. Continue!

I command it.

Somua53 · 01-09-2007, 11:00

I second that!

trekaddict · 01-09-2007, 11:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Somua53

I second that!

so do I!

DirtyCommiePuke · 01-09-2007, 11:36

Ehh, that was weird. I was unbanned but no one could actually view my posts until 30 minutes ago... anyway, update time

The shady man laughed. The Allies had been so easy to manipulate! Now Switzerland was going to receive so many blueprints they could fuel their economy simply by burning them!

About a year later he realised they weren't coming and decided to bail out. Damn allies.

"Switzerland must become more self-sufficient!" boomed the shady man in dry shady tones. "Because of the war Germany saw fit to cut off our trades with the USA. No, I don't get it either. And yes, I know we have a route to the sea through Vichy France but whatever."

Suddenly an aide rushed into the room.

"Oh bollocks!" shouted the shady man. "Sealion AI? Now the world will just wait in a permanent stalemate because Germany will lose its navy then just sit there forever, without the idea of invading the USSR while they rebuild their fleet ever occuring to them. What's the point of a Sealion AI option anyway? It's virtually impossible for the AI to pull it off. I blame the parents, personally."

And so begins 1942... and there's no difference. At all. I don't think a single province has changed hands. Infact, except for that Hungarian trade deal this screenshot could be the same one from 1941.

germanpeon · 01-09-2007, 11:45

Is there a reason that the Axis hasnt taken over Switzerland? Youve got no divisions and youre in the Allies.

Alexus · 01-09-2007, 11:50

Except he isn't, as he said

DirtyCommiePuke · 01-09-2007, 11:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by germanpeon

Is there a reason that the Axis hasnt taken over Switzerland? Youve got no divisions and youre in the Allies.

Quote:

About a year later he realised they weren't coming and decided to bail out. Damn allies.

Yeah, Alexus is right, I bailed out of the Allies... I admit it was a bit cheap to do so but then again they didn't give me anything so it was really a waste of time on my part.

rcduggan · 01-09-2007, 14:17

this looks interesting... good look.

The_Carbonater · 01-09-2007, 16:56

Subscribed

KuzuX · 01-09-2007, 17:09

This somehow remembered me the ultimate revival of hungAARian kingdom

wilegfass · 01-09-2007, 17:11

Interesting.

DirtyCommiePuke · 01-09-2007, 17:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Carbonater

Subscribed

You have the best signature ever

I salute you

Dysken · 01-09-2007, 18:41

Subscribed. This will be interesting.

Hardraade · 01-09-2007, 18:56

This is pretty funny. You have another subscriber.

likk9922 · 01-09-2007, 21:11

Great.

I have no idea how you expect to conquer the world with that, though.

Alexus · 01-09-2007, 21:17

Time Lord science will restore Swiss supremacy!

DirtyCommiePuke · 01-09-2007, 21:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexus

Time Lord science will restore Swiss supremacy!

wait, what? We never had any supremacy?

The Hunter · 02-09-2007, 04:44

Not with that attitude!

DirtyCommiePuke · 02-09-2007, 12:58

The shady man was sitting at his desk, writing a letter to Mussolini.

"Dear Mussolini

I was writing to enquire whether or not it is your intention to let Greece live forever. I ask this because you've been at war with a tiny, technologically backwards country for over a year. I'm wondering if you're deliberately letting them live so you can have a wartime economy forever. That'd be pretty cheap, to be honest. Then again, it took you about six months to finish off an unstable, third world African country, so chances are you're just too shit to finish them off. Still, to be fair, you did take Crete. Well done, I hear you accomplished this with minimal casualties."

(Estimates were in the 2000s, giving them a casualty ratio to infinity to none, quite an achievement for the Italian Army.)

God, Italy really sucks. If you think a year is bad... well, you'll see in the next few updates.

Anyway, nothing much happened in 1942. And so begins 1943...

Greece is STILL alive, despite being at war with most of Europe. Infact, I don't think a single European province has changed hands since Vichy France fired.

My first rocket test site is completed - I plan on making about 5 of these, past that level they barely make any difference but I need a few because I don't have any teams with the rocketry skill.

In other parts of the world something more interesting is going on...

And so we enter 1944 (I swear this AAR is going to get more interesting)

OK, at this point I've started to get the dreaded late game slowdown. While I swore I wasn't going to cheat, I had to turn on nofog and full control and hunt for ghost fleets... and... well...

Jesus Christ!

28-08-2007, 22:25	#1
DirtyCommiePuke Capitalist Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Iceland Posts: 1,975	Revival of the Kingdom of - wait, what? We never had one? - A Swiss WC AAR Revival of the Kingdom of - wait, what, we never had one? DDA 1.1 Switzerland Tech Team and IC Takeover OFF No mods except graphics (SKIF) The shady man stepped up to the platform. He was so shady he made shades of grey look like hues of pink. Infact, he was so shady, he made sunglasses look like thick nerdy ones. Hell, he was so shady he made Slim Shady look like Slim Regular. "It is time Switzerland retook its place on the world map!" he proclaimed. "I promise a revival of the kingdom of - wait, what? We never had one? Oh, in that case, I promise to create a Kingdom of Switzerland, which we can then destroy so that it may be revived - wait, what? Oh, OK, let's just keep the first one. Then we can do other stuff instead of reviving it." The starting situation was bleak, the shady man had to admit. But he had a plan... Two and a half years later, Switzerland's industry was booming. The annual League of Nations summit was held in Zurich that year. "What's that?" Chamberlain asked the shady man, pointing at a big screen thing with research projects on it. Luckily, the shady man had a red marker and quickly covered it up. "Nothing," he said, then laughed, evilly. "Bwahaha." "Pardon?" Chamerlain said. "Nothing." ----- Err, anyway, yeah, Switzerland WC AAR. __________________

01-09-2007, 10:53	#2
Alexus Contra-Vice-Double Colonel Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: European Union (UK) Posts: 2,129	I literally laughed out loud. Continue! I command it. __________________ Impo- Difficult Victory, a Japan VE/A Mod 34 AAR with INCREASINGLY HYSTERICAL UPDATES and using MOD 34! Prepare for GLORY! UPDATED JANUARY 6th! It's NOVEMBER 1942 and JAPAN IS DOOMED AGAIN! IT'S BACK WON WRITAAR OF THE WEEK WritAAR of the week 09/04/06 and 02/09/09 \| Weekly AAR showcase 06/07/06 Hitler - one pissed off mofo - TreizeV

01-09-2007, 11:00	#3
Somua53 First Lieutenant Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 222	I second that! __________________ "Any unarmed people are slaves, or are subject to slavery at any given moment." -Huey Newton

01-09-2007, 11:36	#5
DirtyCommiePuke Capitalist Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Iceland Posts: 1,975	Ehh, that was weird. I was unbanned but no one could actually view my posts until 30 minutes ago... anyway, update time The shady man laughed. The Allies had been so easy to manipulate! Now Switzerland was going to receive so many blueprints they could fuel their economy simply by burning them! About a year later he realised they weren't coming and decided to bail out. Damn allies. "Switzerland must become more self-sufficient!" boomed the shady man in dry shady tones. "Because of the war Germany saw fit to cut off our trades with the USA. No, I don't get it either. And yes, I know we have a route to the sea through Vichy France but whatever." Suddenly an aide rushed into the room. "Oh bollocks!" shouted the shady man. "Sealion AI? Now the world will just wait in a permanent stalemate because Germany will lose its navy then just sit there forever, without the idea of invading the USSR while they rebuild their fleet ever occuring to them. What's the point of a Sealion AI option anyway? It's virtually impossible for the AI to pull it off. I blame the parents, personally." And so begins 1942... and there's no difference. At all. I don't think a single province has changed hands. Infact, except for that Hungarian trade deal this screenshot could be the same one from 1941. __________________

01-09-2007, 11:45	#6
germanpeon Angel of Death Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Arkham Asylum Posts: 2,042	Is there a reason that the Axis hasnt taken over Switzerland? Youve got no divisions and youre in the Allies. __________________ Paradoxoholic Nationality: Yankee Ideology: Enlightened Despotism Issues: Liberalism/Full Citizenship Cash Reserves: UNKNOWN MONEY WANTED Revoltrisk: 2.64% Militancy: 1 (+0.04) Consciousness: 4 (+0.10) Hey gang, it's an AAR! Lets learn about the British Empire! Now updating in your neighborhood! Maybe!

01-09-2007, 11:50	#7
Alexus Contra-Vice-Double Colonel Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: European Union (UK) Posts: 2,129	Except he isn't, as he said __________________ Impo- Difficult Victory, a Japan VE/A Mod 34 AAR with INCREASINGLY HYSTERICAL UPDATES and using MOD 34! Prepare for GLORY! UPDATED JANUARY 6th! It's NOVEMBER 1942 and JAPAN IS DOOMED AGAIN! IT'S BACK WON WRITAAR OF THE WEEK WritAAR of the week 09/04/06 and 02/09/09 \| Weekly AAR showcase 06/07/06 Hitler - one pissed off mofo - TreizeV

01-09-2007, 14:17	#9
rcduggan (Interim Avatar) Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Cthulhu Neaderthal realpolitik Posts: 7,018	this looks interesting... good look. __________________ The Ebony Cross and the Sacred Eagle (Ongoing) ---Favorite History-Book AAR, Eu3 (Q2 2008) ---Weekly AAR Showcase, 1/13/08 Charter member of "The Warlord Club" Awards: Fan of the Week: 3/4/07, 4/29/07, 6/18/07, 2/19/08, 4/11/08 WritAAR of the Week: 5/20/07 I was canonized! 4/21/07 My ink well thingy...

01-09-2007, 16:56	#10
The_Carbonater Kanske Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,324	Subscribed __________________ *Just another fcking centrist** Former Maharajah of India in and Rumors of War MP Roses are red, violets are blue, in Soviet Russia, poem writes YOU I can see the puny purple elephant symbolizing my reallife strolling down the street with a lightened mind and a merry marlboro in his trunk, crossing the corner of doom and escaping my grasp for the next couple of weeks... This is great! - IngarStene

01-09-2007, 17:09	#11
KuzuX degirlsawelshy fan Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere between heaven and hell Posts: 990	This somehow remembered me the ultimate revival of hungAARian kingdom __________________ "Socialism needs democracy like the human body needs oxygen"-Leon Trotsky ●Owner of a CSK cookie.And it's green! wtf? am i coming back?

01-09-2007, 17:11	#12
wilegfass Colonel Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Who says New Joisey, anyways? Posts: 993	Interesting. __________________ Ultra Nationalist American and Greek They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire. I prefer the weapon you only need to fire once. That's how dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far. -Tony Stark/Iron Man The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard. - MAD Magazine Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. -The Dark Knight

01-09-2007, 18:41	#14
Dysken Marzipanzer Kommandant Join Date: May 2005 Location: ¯\(º_o)/¯? Posts: 3,422	Subscribed. This will be interesting. __________________ "Success seems to be connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." - Conrad Hilton

01-09-2007, 18:56	#15
Hardraade General Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: The Empire State Posts: 2,273	This is pretty funny. You have another subscriber. __________________ Return to Glory: A Germania AAR WritAAR of the week for the week of 6-10-07, Favorite New Writer Overall for Q2 2007, Best Character Writer of the Week 7-18-08 The Grand Duchy of Hesse-Darmstadt: A History

01-09-2007, 21:11	#16
likk9922 Perpetually Confused Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Where..Am...I? Posts: 2,422	Great. I have no idea how you expect to conquer the world with that, though. __________________ I'm smart enough to know that I'm stupid Mwned. Pronounced moaned. Means mega-owned. Member of the ahistoric association My Hebrew Uganda AAR!- Weekly AAr showcase, 26-07-2007! - Winner, Best HoI Narrative AAr Q4 2007. Over & done with. Kinda completed. Fan of the Week, 12-8-07; and 12-10-08 Paradox on Facebook!- Fan Page -- Group Earned a Kiss on the Cheek for Participation in the Trial of Fijj Fijj also gave me this moldy cookie for guessing his name-●

01-09-2007, 21:17	#17
Alexus Contra-Vice-Double Colonel Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: European Union (UK) Posts: 2,129	Time Lord science will restore Swiss supremacy! __________________ Impo- Difficult Victory, a Japan VE/A Mod 34 AAR with INCREASINGLY HYSTERICAL UPDATES and using MOD 34! Prepare for GLORY! UPDATED JANUARY 6th! It's NOVEMBER 1942 and JAPAN IS DOOMED AGAIN! IT'S BACK WON WRITAAR OF THE WEEK WritAAR of the week 09/04/06 and 02/09/09 \| Weekly AAR showcase 06/07/06 Hitler - one pissed off mofo - TreizeV

02-09-2007, 04:44	#19
The Hunter Second Lieutenant Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Posts: 133	Not with that attitude!

02-09-2007, 12:58	#20
DirtyCommiePuke Capitalist Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Iceland Posts: 1,975	The shady man was sitting at his desk, writing a letter to Mussolini. "Dear Mussolini I was writing to enquire whether or not it is your intention to let Greece live forever. I ask this because you've been at war with a tiny, technologically backwards country for over a year. I'm wondering if you're deliberately letting them live so you can have a wartime economy forever. That'd be pretty cheap, to be honest. Then again, it took you about six months to finish off an unstable, third world African country, so chances are you're just too shit to finish them off. Still, to be fair, you did take Crete. Well done, I hear you accomplished this with minimal casualties." (Estimates were in the 2000s, giving them a casualty ratio to infinity to none, quite an achievement for the Italian Army.) God, Italy really sucks. If you think a year is bad... well, you'll see in the next few updates. Anyway, nothing much happened in 1942. And so begins 1943... Greece is STILL alive, despite being at war with most of Europe. Infact, I don't think a single European province has changed hands since Vichy France fired. My first rocket test site is completed - I plan on making about 5 of these, past that level they barely make any difference but I need a few because I don't have any teams with the rocketry skill. In other parts of the world something more interesting is going on... And so we enter 1944 (I swear this AAR is going to get more interesting) OK, at this point I've started to get the dreaded late game slowdown. While I swore I wasn't going to cheat, I had to turn on nofog and full control and hunt for ghost fleets... and... well... Jesus Christ! __________________