You've Got To Die For The Government AAR/Diplo thread

[Joohoo]

Ok here you can post AARs and treaties etc.

[Seen]

(Henry with his family on holiday)

The Royal Court of his most Catholic King Henry VII of England is open for all gifts and offers of free land.

God save the king and the pope!


(original signature of henry)

[Joohoo]

Spain's first years

The first thing that was done was sending out Columbus to discover the way to India. Funny though we found something else, islands of candy(sugar) and lands of hard suns (gold). Some have been found in Europe but in the New world, it is in masses. Too bad for the other countries, Spain has claim it all and mostly taken all that are already explored. But does it exist more..?

In Europe we went one step further into Italy after Venice realized he standed no chance but we really think they fought well and we respect them. They are good merchants and handy in shipbuilding, we see them as our lost brother.

After that, we just colonised the new world and annexed Indians.

[Dr Bob]

Originally Posted by Joohoo

They are good merchants and handy in shipbuilding, we see them as our lost brother.

This the same Venice you said "I killed leader XXX" in real big letters?

[Joohoo]

Originally Posted by Dr Bob

This the same Venice you said "I killed leader XXX" in real big letters?

Why do you keep following when it is not your business...
I don't think i used caps when writing but i admit i said i killed him.

[Chaingun]

The Early Years of Poland (and I'm too lazy to look up the dates)

Friedrich Hussein was a very dangerous man. His fief: The duchy of Brandenburg, had been monitored by the Danish Atomic Energy Agency/Drug Addiction Enforcement Agency (DAEA) for some time since the Swamp War, where Polish coalition forces had stepped in and crushed Brandenburgish attempts to gain Kuwait's oil reserves. During this war dangerous Plague-dead Cows (tm) had been put into use killing Tibetan yetis through intercontinental ballistic catapult attacks launched from Berlin. Surely such biological weaponry cannot be classified as a nuclear weapon or a drug, but it is a weapon of mass-destruction nontheless. Thus it was suspected the next step of this dreaded policy of Berlin would involve nuclear weapons.

Considering the range of the Brandenburgian catapult "Big Bertha" nuclear strikes could be performed upon important cities such as Krakow and Copenhagen! Obviously this had to be prevented, and therefore the Polish & Danish governments united in this issue decided to launch Operation Berliner Freedom in 1492. The following is a selection of the message correspondance preserved from between these governments prior to 1492:

Chaingun: "Poland supports Danish claims in Germany."
Ëarendil: "Yepp let's kill BB early."

The war strategy was a multifront attack, partly by mobile Polish air cavalry hussars in the east, and mixed Danish forces from the north. Seeing that aircraft hadn't yet been invented however, the air cavalry had to travel on ground conventionally. There was fear the old emnity between the commies up north from Polish borders might reanimate if the war wasn't carried out quickly enough.

During late Spring 1492 churches aided to spread government propaganda for the war: "There is evidence that Brandenburg hides weapons of mass destruction! We must invade!" The Danish church, having been profoundly good Catholics (this far) only were happy to share the sentiments of the Polish locally elected popebishop, supreme leader of the church and shoepaste of the Polish king and dictator Chaingun I.

The war was very successful in fact. The brave Polish forces didn't fight a single battle, but lost five thousand men in the STD epidemics that followed. They merely aided sieging a city in Neumark where they coincidentally used biological weaponry by smuggling pretty STD ridden ladies within the city's walls.

A few years down the line the duchy of Brandenburg had to capitulate. Friedrich Hussein was thrown into jail and the country occupied. No nuclear weapons were found in the STD epidemic following the victorious Polish soldiers' trails. Hussein is on trial still after these five centuries facing charges of this and that, and will be sent to Tibet as soon as possible to contend the result of his crimes against yetimany. The Kuwaiti people now felt safer according to the popebishop John Paul McDonald.

In short:
Sombody had to die for the government.

And next week it will be someone completely different...

[Matija]

Originally Posted by Chaingun

The Early Years of Poland (and I'm too lazy to look up the dates)

Friedrich Hussein was a very dangerous man. His fief: The duchy of Brandenburg, had been monitored by the Danish Atomic Energy Agency/Drug Addiction Enforcement Agency (DAEA) for some time since the Swamp War, where Polish coalition forces had stepped in and crushed Brandenburgish attempts to gain Kuwait's oil reserves. During this war dangerous Plague-dead Cows (tm) had been put into use killing Tibetan yetis through intercontinental ballistic catapult attacks launched from Berlin. Surely such biological weaponry cannot be classified as a nuclear weapon or a drug, but it is a weapon of mass-destruction nontheless. Thus it was suspected the next step of this dreaded policy of Berlin would involve nuclear weapons.

Considering the range of the Brandenburgian catapult "Big Bertha" nuclear strikes could be performed upon important cities such as Krakow and Copenhagen! Obviously this had to be prevented, and therefore the Polish & Danish governments united in this issue decided to launch Operation Berliner Freedom in 1492. The following is a selection of the message correspondance preserved from between these governments prior to 1492:

Chaingun: "Poland supports Danish claims in Germany."
Ëarendil: "Yepp let's kill BB early."

The war strategy was a multifront attack, partly by mobile Polish air cavalry hussars in the east, and mixed Danish forces from the north. Seeing that aircraft hadn't yet been invented however, the air cavalry had to travel on ground conventionally. There was fear the old emnity between the commies up north from Polish borders might reanimate if the war wasn't carried out quickly enough.

During late Spring 1492 churches aided to spread government propaganda for the war: "There is evidence that Brandenburg hides weapons of mass destruction! We must invade!" The Danish church, having been profoundly good Catholics (this far) only were happy to share the sentiments of the Polish locally elected popebishop, supreme leader of the church and shoepaste of the Polish king and dictator Chaingun I.

The war was very successful in fact. The brave Polish forces didn't fight a single battle, but lost five thousand men in the STD epidemics that followed. They merely aided sieging a city in Neumark where they coincidentally used biological weaponry by smuggling pretty STD ridden ladies within the city's walls.

A few years down the line the duchy of Brandenburg had to capitulate. Friedrich Hussein was thrown into jail and the country occupied. No nuclear weapons were found in the STD epidemic following the victorious Polish soldiers' trails. Hussein is on trial still after these five centuries facing charges of this and that, and will be sent to Tibet as soon as possible to contend the result of his crimes against yetimany. The Kuwaiti people now felt safer according to the popebishop John Paul McDonald.

In short:
Sombody had to die for the government.

And next week it will be someone completely different...

This slightly remainds me of the Black Adder type of humor.



I can certinly imagine him saying "Well somebody had to die for the goverment"

[Ar-Pharazôn[GE]]

The Imperial foreign minister proudly announces that he has won Danish support for the French claim on the Imperial throne. The King of Denmark and all officials will henceforth use the title Emperor when refering to Luis, his father or his heirs.
Although it was a great diplomatic sucess for France we deeply regret that it did not include any agreement about French and Danish territorial claims since neither France nor Denmark want to provokate the archduke of Austria.


Today a treaty of friendship and mutual assistance was signed between Venice and the Empire (I will henceforth refer to France simply as "the Empire"). The Doge of Venice confirmed French rights on the Imperial title and accepted French souvereignity over the Italian peninsula although only the northwestern part (Siena, Pisa, Genua, Parma, Lombardia, Piemont, Nizza, Savoy and Geneve) will be under direct Imperial administration while the rest of the Imperial holdings will be governed by the Doge of Venice, vassall (not in game termy but in historical terms) and loyal ally of his Imperial majesty Luis de Valois first of his name protector of Europe, King of France and defender of the christian faith (although not in game terms).


His Imperial and most catholic majesty Luis first of his name protector, of Europe, King of France and defender of the christian faith


coronation of Luis XII and his wife in Paris


King Zygmunt I of Poland has also accepted to pay homage to the French King and confirm Luis' rights on the Imperial title. Zygmunt has consented to use the title "Emperor" when refering to Luis his father and his heirs.

King Zygmunt I. "the wise"

[Ar-Pharazôn[GE]]

The Empire wants to show an updated map of Europe depicting AUstria and his close allys/friends as well as the Empire and it's close allys and friends.

[Joohoo]

Thanks

[Seen]

The Glorious Reign Of Henry The Seventh and his Trusted Advisor Of The Court Seenry the Duke of Pale

It he year of our lord 1492 it was decided that England would once again be the greatest nation on earth. Ever since the days of the fabled king Arthur peasanst, princes, kings, emperors and the pope have looked at England to see how things should be done. This hasnt changed nor will it ever change in the course of history.



Theirfor wenn we heared about the terrible abuses of our next of kin in Friesen, Scotland and Germany the king could do nothing else than take matters into our own hands. The glorious english army who has suffered hardly any defeats in its history was once again marching on the continent. Clearly the princes were very pleased to see the english come and one after another joined the kingdom in forms of voluntairly annexation or as vassal for the time being.

Since our realm is great in europe England should also be great in the unkown world. Rumors of Spanish wealth have not gone unnoticed in the courts of europe but only england decided that there should be action as well. A weird suicidal man named Cabot was send overseas to find gold and other riches.

Painting of the European theatre and the expedition:


Soon a strange new land with sadly no gold has been found. The first traders were send to establish contacts with the natives and exploit them.





That these people were able to survive till now without us , is as you can see, a big mystery. Luckily for them we will learn them the holy sacrements of marriage and god.

Of course in every colony there are troublemakers that think the strong arm of the King will not reach them overseas. I can tell you this! They stand corrected.......



And on this last buatifull painting you will enjoy with us the unchallanged supremacy of the English on the continent. What a splendor, what a grace!



And so this tale ends for now but I bid you come back soon because this could turn into a epic!

[Seen]

Spain and England sign Defensive Pact
from our special foreign reporter Jose Andros

We got this from the highest insider on our payroll! Highly exclusive for the times we can report that negotiations about a def pact against a undisclosed common treat are ending conclusion. Both nations hope that this will make the world a safer place to trade and colonise and ensure to the rest that there is no hostile intend here. " With the recent waves of war all over the continent countries must show that there is another pad, the path of peace, prosperity and dead of our enemies! " said Duke Seen of Pale to this newspaper. Furthermore the countries have solved their minor colonies disputes so no reason for future hostility remains. "Of course we realise the English are filthy heatens that should burn on a cross, " Count Joohoo de la Madre Dios stated, "but in these changing world even we must be realistic. The English shall be judged at the gates of Petrus, its not us that should do it. Of course all other heatens will still be prosecuted and put to death" he assured us.

In other news a young indian women was sexually assulted by John S. "I was just walking around with my fellow creatures and decided to take a shower under a waterfall, "tells the emotional miss Pocahontas "and all of a sudden this creep attacks me!" the accused refused to......

[Nabukodonosor]

Originally Posted by Seen

...there is another path, the path of peace, prosperity and dead of our enemies!...

uh?!

[Seen]

Originally Posted by Nabukodonosor

uh?!

No one will claim the english arent fair

[Seen]

Originally Posted by Ar-Pharazôn[GE]

The Empire wants to show an updated map of Europe depicting AUstria and his close allys/friends as well as the Empire and it's close allys and friends.

The Allies want to show a updated map of Europe and rising Austria with its close friends, naps and allies, As well as french allies over europe

[Joohoo]

Spain's European adventures!

The Continental War

The war against France started well but against to big odds we had to peace, the war was a bigger lose for Austria then me though.

Second Italian War

Spanish Grand Army moving into Italy to cleanse it from Venetian scum...





Spanish-Turkish moving together to crush Venetian fleet.


Pope and me are an ally to the infidel, lol


Our huge fleet was beaten!

Venice finally agreed he had to give back the provinces he took in the big war when he was fighting together with France, in this war Venice had peaced and dowed my vassal just a second after! Spain and OE punished Venice for this outraging behaviour.

[Dr Bob]

You really hate Venice I see?

[Nabukodonosor]

No, as a matter of fact I'm about to propose Venice transformation of our code alliance to real cooperation on long term strategic issues.

That "War of Papal independance" was just a prof that we are not infidels. We respect and protect any saint, no matter from which religion as long as they belive in one God. How they call it is of secondary importance

In fact we would like to propose Royal Marriage to Austria and Venice (edited) with our beutifull young brides converted to christianity if rules allow that.

[Duke of Austria]

The administrations of Denmark and Portugal have been accorded to sign a NAP in order to emphasize the peaceful relations between their countries.

signed
Duke of Austria
--------------------
chancellor of Portugal

[EarendilHE]

Originally Posted by Duke of Austria

The administrations of Denmark and Portugal have been accorded to sign a NAP in order to emphasize the peaceful relations between their countries.

signed
Duke of Austria
--------------------
chancellor of Portugal

signed
Earendil
--------------------
King of Denmark and Norway and Duke of Mecklemburg, Saxony, Brandenburg and Bremen