Folk Tales from Far Away

[Murmurandus]

That Duncan guy sure has some decent stats. How is the rest of the family, like his heir?

[J. Passepartout]

Well, it is good to see that kindness to poor people always pays off in magic flutes. Does Duncan remember to occassionally send a few pieces of gold off to the widow and her son?

[Lurken]

Good to see ol' Farq back. I like this style you got here. Keep it up, or I shall spank you with a salted herring.

[Draco Rexus]

Just my luck! I prepare myself to be possibly away from the forums for quite some time and what do I do, but stumble across a Farq AAR. AARRGGHHH!

In any event, welcome back, Farq, good luck, and I'll read when I get a chance.

Great start, by the by!

[Farquharson]

BBBD: Um, no I think it was actually a Mesopotamian flute, used for fund-raising when building Mesopotamian towers, and such like.

Fiftypence: Strathclyde and Fife are two temptingly independent counties right now, but cost about 300 prestige each to grab, so Duncan will have to start saving. Luckily the court is fairly heaving with young maidens to marry off, which always helps.

Dead William: Yes indeed, amazingly, the Duke of Berwick also suddenly acquired the "Wicked Ogre" trait, AKA Excommunicated - why the King sat around doing nothing with a one-province excommunicated Duke on his doorstep I don't know, but the magic pause button worked very nicely again when, after I'd declared war, he suddenly thought of attacking himself.

Murmurandus: Gilbert and James were so-so stats-wise, which is why I changed to salic consanguinity and made sure Duncan got in - it's done wonders for my income, that's for sure. Mad Count Alwin, who lived to nearly 60 ( ), was of course a disaster area, however it's amazing how you can still survive in such circumstances.

J.Passepartout: Duke Duncan is a veritable mine of adorable traits - just, wise, merciful and trusting. I'm sure poor widows throughout the realm just love him to bits!

Lurken: Hah! Don't try to pressurize me - it won't work! See if I care if you spank me with a salted herring!

Draco Rexus: Now what exactly is a fine upstanding member of the AARA doing "preparing to be possibly away from the forums for quite some time" ? I fear your membership might be on shaky ground there...

Well, many thanks for all this lovely feedback. I will throw myself into Duke Duncan's reign now with great enthusiasm, and hopefully get another update done before too long.

[stnylan]

Oh excellent.

[Lord J. Roxton]

I can't wait for Duncan the Wise and Just's reign... he's just the character for a fairy tale.

[Jestor]

With such a fine beard fit for stroking, Duncan will be a splendid ruler.

[Garuda]

A Farquharson AAR. I'll be following.

Er, I don't suppose there's any chance I could borrow that flute if you've finished with it?

[coz1]

Hurrah for Duke Duncan. Another classic example of why we all love Fantastical Farq's Fictional Folktales! Keep 'em coming.

[Deus]

[With a high picthed voice]WEEEEE[/With a high picthed voice]

Yet anoher Farg AAR.

I would have some use of the flute. Could you lend it? [Pretty Please]

And I can't wait when Santa is going to appear or atleast some elwes!

[Farquharson]

stnylan: Glad to have you along!

Lord J.Roxton: Indeed, the good Duncan was a great character - I almost felt sorry for all the things that happened to him...

Jestor: Or perhaps it was the beard that was the cause of all his problems!

Garuda: I'm sorry, but the magic flute, along with the magic button, are now official heirlooms of the Angus family, and will be kept for such time as they are needed, that is, in the hour of their greatest peril, etc, etc...

coz1: Thanks, but I'm not sure you should be allowed to use so many "F" words in one post!

Deus: Santa and the Elves - well, you never know. If everyone is very good, and if this AAR is still going during the festive season, they may just make an appearance.

OK, having run out of inspiration half way through the next tale I have not been very active for the last few days. Inspiration returned this morning, however, so here it is...

[Farquharson]

3: The Witch of Ulaid

There was once a knight whose name was Duncan and he was known as Duncan Silver-tongue, and he was all that a knight should be - brave, chivalrous, just and upright, and he married a beautiful lady from Narbonne whose name was Leoncia. Now Leoncia bore him a son, whom they named Eume, but when the little lad was only two years old tragedy struck for he fell ill. Within months the sickness had worsened and the child could hardly stop coughing. Meanwhile Leoncia was once more expecting a child but now fate dealt the good Sir Duncan a cruel blow for his lovely lady wife died in childbirth, and the child was also lost.

Now a wicked witch called Etain of Ulaid came to the court and she offered Duncan a magic potion that would cure little Eume of his illness if only Duncan agreed to marry her. Now the good Sir Duncan faced a terrible dilemma for of course he could not bear the thought of being wedded to such an evil creature, but for the sake of his only son he saw no other possibility, and so he relented and the two were married. Straight away the witch gave the magic potion to the sick child and within a week he was well again.

But from that day onwards, the wicked witch Etain hated little Eume, and in time she bore good Sir Duncan many sons and daughters, and then she hated her stepson more than ever. As for Duncan, in time he became the Duke of Berwick, and as everyone expected he was a good and wise ruler and all his subjects loved him. Moreover he greatly extended the realm of Berwick by valiantly going out and fighting the Counts of Fife and Strathclyde who had arrogantly rebelled against the King of Scotland. But the Duke’s life was under a curse, for all this time he was married to the wicked witch Etain.

Little Eume grew up to be a fine young lad, despite the hatred of his wicked stepmother, and one day he asked his father about his own mother, and why he had married Etain of Ulaid. And good Sir Duncan told his son the whole story, and how the wicked witch had saved his life when he was an infant to make Sir Duncan accept her hand in marriage. Eume was furious when he heard this story. He was not in the least grateful that his stepmother had saved his life, for he thought that, if it was in her power, she should have done this good deed out of kindness and compassion and not for her own selfish ambitions. Thus he vowed to avenge her wickedness.

Now Eume was fascinated by the sea, and he spent a lot of time down by the harbour in the town of Berwick, where his father owned his castle. One day while he was lingering down by the waterfront he met up with a merchant and fell into conversation with him. The merchant told him of a beautiful princess who was being held captive by a terrible monster, as so often happened to beautiful princesses in those days. Eume resolved to go straight away and rescue her, and perhaps seek her hand in marriage. He sailed across the sea to the County of Thouars in France, and there he heard rumours of the dreadful beast who was holding the princess captive.

Fearlessly he sought out the creature’s lair and slew it, and rescued the beautiful maiden, who was named Justinian. She was every bit as beautiful as the merchant had described, and she immediately fell in love with Eume, who had so heroically slain her captor. And so he took her back with him to Berwick there to seek his father’s blessing on their marriage.

Now the wicked witch Etain, out of hatred for her stepson Eume, was determined to prevent this marriage, but good Sir Duncan discovered her plotting. Quickly he sent young Eume off to the wilds of Buchan to become Count of that realm, and his sweetheart Justinian with him. Before the witch Etain could discover what had happened, the two were married and settling down to live happily ever after in their new palace in the town of Inverness.

But alas it was not to be so, for the wicked witch Etain had other plans. One day when the Countess Justinian was out strolling along the shores of Loch Ness with her infant son Cosme, suddenly a terrible monster reared out of the dark waters of the Loch. Justinian cowered in terror, despite the fact that she was quite used to terrible monsters and their ways, having already been held captive by one in Thouars. But this monster was none other than the wicked witch Etain who had magically transformed herself into this fearful creature, and now she spoke to the Countess:

“Do not be afraid dear Countess,” she said, “I am not going to harm you. All I want is your son Cosme, for as you well know, a monster is never happy unless it is holding someone captive.” And the beast laughed wickedly.

“Never!” cried the Countess. “Take me instead and let my son go!”

“Since you are so stubborn,” replied the monster, “I will just take you both!” And with that the creature swooped it’s terrible head towards them. But at the last moment Justinian threw her child to one side and as the monster’s fearsome jaws closed on her, the little child was already crawling away in terror. The monster was just about to snatch him up as well when suddenly a great eagle plunged down from the sky and caught him up in its talons and carried him back to his father in Inverness. But alas, the beautiful Countess Justinian was never seen again.

Now the eagle flew to Count Eume in Inverness and told him all that had happened, and told him also who the monster really was, for in fact the eagle had been watching from his mountain eyrie and had seen the wicked witch Etain transform herself into her monstrous form.

“Hurry, my Lord Count,” urged the eagle, “and go to the place where she has left her garments hidden, and burn them. For then she will never again be able to take human form.”

At the news of his wife’s terrible fate, Count Eume was grief-stricken, and wanted to do nothing but sit in his palace and mourn. But the eagle urged him, and finally Eume remembered how he had vowed to avenge his father for the witch’s cruelty. And so he went out and mounted his trusty steed and rode like the wind to the place the eagle told him about. There he found the witch’s garments hidden under a rock, just as the eagle had said. He had just gathered wood for a fire and was about to set light to it, when the monster appeared some way off in the waters of the loch.

Desperately, Eume struggled to get the fire started as the monster swam ever closer. Finally the fire caught and the garments began to burn and the Count turned fearlessly to face his wicked stepmother.

“I know who you are!” he cried, “And now you are repaid for your wickedness to my father. For now you will never again be able to regain your human form and my father will be rid of you at last. Now come and let me slay you right away or you will have to stay a prisoner of this loch for all time.”

On hearing these words, and seeing her garments no more than a pile of ashes on the shore, the witch uttered a terrible cry. But she was mortally afraid of Count Eume for she could see that he was a valiant warrior and now she disappeared beneath the waters of the loch and swam away. Never again did Count Eume see his wicked stepmother, and good Sir Duncan was free at last of the terrible witch who had forced him to take her as his wife.

But every so often the monster of Loch Ness was seen by the people who lived around the loch though none knew who it really was. As for Count Eume, in time he recovered from his grief, and he was married once more, this time to the grand-daughter of the Consul of Venice, and though she was never so beautiful as Justinian, she nevertheless bore him many sons and daughters, and in time Count Eume became Duke of Berwick when the good Sir Duncan grew old and died. And so he moved to Berwick with his wife from Venice and all their children, and there they all lived happily ever after.

[Dead William]

Ooooh! Story time! Lovely one Farq! DW

[Deus]

Nice!

I could tell this story to my kids (if I had any).

Maybe it's time to make a book and visit a publisher?

The Grimm brothers are beginning to turn their eyes in shame!

[stnylan]

So it wasn't Bonnie Prince Charlie's favourite sturgeon after all!

[J. Passepartout]

If I were a person of authority in the United Kingdom, I would take steps to have this wicked creature destroyed, because it is a matter of time before she comes out to seek revenge.

[coz1]

It will be some time before Werner Herzog* comes along to expose the evil witch, but her fate is just.

A lovely little bit of story telling, Farq. And a wonderful way to include real life myths within the mythical tale of yours.

*The reference to Herzog is because of a documentary (supposedly faux) that Herzog did a year or two ago called Incident at Loch Ness. Check it out if you have not - it's quite good, if not a little bit infuriating.

[Lord J. Roxton]

Nice update! And the wicked witch/Loch Ness Monster story was a nice touch, because fairy tales wouldn't really seem right if it was just about a bunch of people assassinating each other, without any motive such as being a wicked witch.

[Fiftypence]

I suppose Nessie was always going to turn up in a fairytale AAR set in Scotland. Great update.