The Sons of Balthazar: a County of Venaissin AAR

Er... that was me doctoring the data files back when I was playing Hungary - I was eliminating anything grey from the map that wasn't Arpad territory...

Semi-Lobster: I know the feeling - there's too much out there to read and not enough time to read it! Anyway, don't worry, I'm busy planning to become King of Something. What I really want is to usurp "King of Burgundy" from the King of Germany. I've played a bit further and now own 50% of Burgundy - three more provinces and I can usurp. It's a long haul saving up the prestige though. Ireland would no doubt be easier, but I kind of want to stay local for my first King title.

Lord J.Roxton: Thanks - I liked this update, too. Hopefully more of the same will be on the way...

Jestor: It would have been nice to legitimize Louis the Bastard - I've never seen an event that does this, but I imagine such things might exist - anyone know?

Miral: Watch out for more Mesopotamian architecture - it fits the theme of the story so well...

Grundius: Well those des Baux are certainly working hard to research their colourful, though little-known family history - who knows what they'll discover next?

Dead William: If you recall, the Governor of Genoa inherited the Duchy of Provence by marriage to Adalys de Provence, so the current Governor still holds the title. I'd be tempted to try and grab/usurp it but he tends not to farm those provinces out to vassals so I reckon it would be a waste of time and prestige.

Draco Rexus: Actually I think the des Baux dynasty are about to branch out in new directions and unveil some other illustrious ancestors they had - the possibilities for expansion become almost infinite!

J.Passepartout: Well Louis the Bastard is now basking in the prestige of being the Count of Schwyz, so no need to feel too sorry for him...

Well as I said I've played some more - Louis the Legitimate is still alive but probably not for long - update over the weekend, hopefully.

Grundius: Thanks for demonstrating the Bastard Event - alas too late for Louis, however. A shame, though - as you'll see, he'd almost certainly have made a better Duke than his cousin Louis the Legitimate.

Fiftypence: Thanks for this timely reminder about being able to go into negative prestige to usurp. I did it by mistake when playing Hungary when I racked up a negative prestige of -2500 or so by usurping a completely useless title off the Emperor of Byzantium. This time it will come in very handy, however!

J.Passepartout: Hmm - yet another interesting feature of the betas...

Deflare: Welcome! Alexander? Octavius Julius? Yes, those names certainly do ring a bell. I've no doubt the des Baux genealogical researchers will be checking out those suggestions...

And meanwhile, how did Louis the Legitimate get on as Duke? Well, read on...

”CHAAAAAARGE!!!” yelled Duke Louis II of Dauphiné and Ulster, as he brandished his sword in one hand and his pillow in the other. The six unlucky foot soldiers detailed for the task laboriously heaved the Duke’s bed onto their shoulders and began trudging forward, carrying the gallant, though unfortunately bedridden Duke towards the enemy lines. To the brave troops of his army, the sight of their Duke leading them thus into battle sitting in his bed was hardly inspiring, as they marched slowly and uncertainly behind.

Things had not gone well for Louis des Baux in his first few years as Duke. It had begun with his very first battle, during which he received an arrow in the chest which, although it didn’t kill him, certainly severely constrained his future activities. The Swiss archer who was personally responsible for this unfortunate event had of course been practicing for years by shooting arrows through apples balanced on his son’s head. Duke Louis, had been galloping at the head of his knights towards the massed archers of the County of Bern, and had made an unmissable target for such a well-trained marksman.

The Duke had been engaged in what he called “tidying up”, that is, annexing stray Swiss counties that still seemed to be independent and were also conveniently on his borders. His Uncle Centule had dealt with the County of Valais, but had died before he had managed to deal with Bern and Neuchatel. Several months later, lying in pain in his campaign tent, Duke Louis had heard the news of the Count of Bern’s surrender. One down, one to go.

Odalric von Kiel, Marshal of Dauphiné: Sire! I bring good news - Count Gerlach has surrendered. Henceforth you may take possession of his title, his lands and all his treasury.

Louis des Baux, Duke of Dauphiné: Excellent! Another ski resort of our ancestor Balthazar is returned to its rightful owner!

Odalric: Er - quite so, Sire. And what’s more, you yourself may now return to Les Baux de Provence - as you should have done months ago, if I might say so. A siege encampment is no place to recover from such a grievous wound as you have received, my Lord.

Louis: Nonsense, man - it’s absolutely nothing. Look, I can.... ooorgh!

While trying to leap up and demonstrate just how fit and well he is, the Duke collapses.

Odalric: As I was saying, Sire, perhaps you should be returning home.

Louis, gasping with pain: I might - just as soon as... I’ve dealt with... the Count of Neuchatel.

Odalric: Really, my Lord, I don’t see the need. I myself could lead the army if we go to war against...

Louis: If? If? Of course we’re going to war against the Count of Neuchatel! And I will personally lead the army. I know what you have in mind, you scheming fox - you want to claim his title for yourself! Admit it - isn’t that your game?

Odalric: Er... no, not at all, Sire.

Louis: Pah! In any case, I will hear no more talk of returning home until the County of Neuchatel is mine.

Odalric: But Sire, you are bedridden!

Louis: Yes? And have you never heard of a bed being carried? Select six strong foot soldiers to carry me into battle. Let it not be said that a son of Balthazar shied away from leading his army to war for nothing more than a minor chest wound!

Odalric, sighing: As you wish, my Lord.

And so, as the might of the Dauphinois Army marched into battle against Count Tello of Neuchatel, they were slightly held up by having to wait for the six foot soldiers to struggle on ahead under the weight of the Duke and his bed. Not surprisingly, the battle went disastrously for the Duke, despite the fact that he outnumbered the forces of Neuchatel at least two to one. Somehow, the sight of their Duke sitting up in bed flailing about with his sword just didn’t seem to inspire his troops. Twice they were routed before finally finding their way back to Neuchatel while it was undefended. The siege, helped as it now was by an army under Louis’s ally the Duke of Pisa, went considerably better than the pitched battles had done.

Thus was the last independent Swiss county finally brought into the clutches of Duke Louis in July 1156, and he finally decided to return home to Les Baux for some well-earned bed-rest. Alas, however, he arrived to find that his problems were far from over.

Bonne of Lyon, Steward of Dauphiné: Sire, here are the financial reports for the last four years - I’ve been waiting to speak to you about them.

Duke Louis II of Dauphiné: Hmmph! Financial reports, eh? Do I really need to be bothered with this kind of thing?

Bonne: Sire, I regret to say that you may have to make some difficult decisions. Your realm is not as profitable as it could be - far from it, I’m afraid.

Louis: Yes, well I thought that was your job, wasn’t it? What did I appoint you as Steward for?

Bonne: I have done my best, Sire, but some factors remain outwith my powers. Most notably, it is the size of your realm that is most worrying.

Louis: And what’s wrong with the size of my realm? I’ve been trying to make it as large as possible - with considerable success, I might add.

Bonne: That’s just it, Sire - I fear your personal demesne is growing too large. Perhaps if you were to grant lands to some of your courtiers...

Louis: Wait a moment - you’re not another of these scheming, land-hungry parasites, are you? Yes, I might have known it - grant some lands to my courtiers, eh? Starting with you, I’ve no doubt...

Bonne: Not at all, Sire - that was the last thing on my mind.

Louis: Hah! And you expect me to believe that, do you? Very well, I shall grant lands to ONE of my courtiers, but not you. Henceforth our Chancellor, my brother Antoine will be the Count of Valais - I don’t mind giving up that province since it seems to be in revolt at the moment. Otherwise the lands in my personal demesne STAY MINE! Understood?

Bonne: As you wish, my Lord.


And so Duke Louis settled down to administer his somewhat outsized realm from the comfort of his bed. His main concern was to increase his prestige, as this would allow him to claim yet more titles. He was particularly interested in the Counties of Saluces, Savoie and Genève, all of which were currently part of the Kingdom of Germany. When his advisors questioned him about the reasons for this, the Duke was evasive, and would only reply that he believed them to be ancestral lands of the des Baux family...


In any case, everyone seemed to be in agreement about one thing - the best way to gain prestige these days was to build a new-fangled thing called a small castle. They were expensive - even more expensive than Towers of Babylon, in fact - but, despite Bonne of Lyon’s misgivings, the ducal coffers were fairly healthy these days and several small castles were built over the next few years.

Duke Louis himself, on the other hand, was not particularly healthy. In 1157 his old war wound began giving him even more trouble than usual, and he fell seriously ill. By 1159 he was suffering from pneumonia, and his ability to rule over such a large demesne became even further constrained. Stubbornly, however, Duke Louis refused to give up any land to his courtiers. He intended to grant one more county to his son and heir, Amédée, as soon as he was old enough for this responsibility, but otherwise he insisted on keeping everything for himself.

By 1161 it became obvious to everyone that the stress of administering such a large demesne, on top of his crippling illness, had taken the ultimate toll on Duke Louis. The man was no longer of sound mind. Paranoid that everyone around him was trying to take his lands from him, he would shut himself away and refuse to see anyone. Top of his list of suspects were his cousin Thierry who was Count of Forez, and Louis of Forez, who was current principal at the Venaissin School of Psychotic Mesopotamian Architecture, and was currently trying his best to boost his prestige by building a Tower of Babylon. Both of them were found murdered in their beds.

Although Duke Louis’s mental condition now made it almost impossible for him to administer anything, he clung grimly to his over-sized demesne. Several of his vassals were becoming increasingly disloyal, so Louis decided to send them gifts - only to discover that his treasury was nearly empty. To make matters worse, at this point another of his distant cousins Vivian des Baux, who had been an enthusiastic Tower-Builder in his day, died and left Louis heir to his accumulated debts of 445 gold. No expensive gifts were going to be forthcoming for Louis’s disloyal vassals in the near future.

Strangely, however, Duke Louis’s prestige continued to grow steadily. On two occasions he had the opportunity of calling the Estates General. This would have solved his financial problems overnight, but instead he refused to do so, thus greatly enhancing his prestige. In 1162 it had been revealed that the des Baux family actually had a historic claim on the County of Genève, and by 1166 this had been extended to a further claim on the County of Savoie.

About this time Louis, who was now living in destitution, was encouraged to borrow money from the moneylenders in order to be able to live even slightly above the poverty line. “Never!”, was the Duke’s reply, as he lay in torment on his bed, “I would rather starve!” And indeed, that is exactly what he did. By 1168 his frail and wasted body finally gave up the ghost. Duke Louis II des Baux became the first ever son of Balthazar to die of starvation. His son Amédée, currently Count of Bern, now became Duke in his place.