![]() |
|
|
#1 |
|
Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 3,522
|
Collected Teachings
To commemorate my promotion to Field Chief Judge, I cobbled together some of the more informative and useful of my posts, and I thought I'd bring them all together in one place.....
........the odd thing is, all these made perfect sense when I originally posted them. Wonder what we were discussing at the time ![]() ************ Two ideas in a week - I must be eating the wrong foods ************ Playing as Spain, I inherited the Aztec empire when their king died. I'm not sure that counts though, because it was me who killed him ************ "And furthermore, in addition to all of the above demands, you are required to surrender to us the province of Gibraltar, and grant us the right, until now selfishly kept unto yourselves, of looking at the cute lil monkeys clambering over the rock." ************ Of course you can smell a shrink. They had to shrink the Chinese guy to fit him into your PC. ************ And you can cure a headache by cutting off your head, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to do so. ************ What use is a slave if he's just going to play EU all day long instead of attending to his chores? I say the meat grinder is the only solution. ************ First of all, see a doctor. Obsessing that badly over one game can't be good for you .. at least I'm obsessive about lots of different PC games ************ .... but at least you have safe bananas. ************ Well you know how huge the demand for thick, warm fur coats is in subsaharan Africa.... ************ " Hmm ... 'maketh $$$ in thy free time ... respondeth to this letter within six days ...' ..what date is it today, Mavis? April 5th .. so this letter was sent ... umm .... nineteen months ago. I think we can safely burn it." ************ He meant black holes with the mass of cats, as should be perfectly clear to everyone .... now that we finally have a serious scientific discussion under way, don't pollute it with trivialities..... ************ The fact that you are still capable of typing suggests your cat was too passive for the experiment to be of significance. Ordinarily, practical attempts to replicate this test by the lay public will result in a hefty stitching job for the local hospital... ************ I've smelt the canals in Venice. They would thank you for cleaning them up with an occasional fire. ************ Provided you can remember which one province your country is. "Dammit, where IS my homeland? I know I left it around here somewhere...no, wait, that's Kleves. Maybe a little more to the east..." ************ Come back Andorra, all is forgiven... ************ Actually I'm usually sitting down when I write these posts ************ .... a new milestone in pointless posting ...quote a previous message and say absolutely nothing. I salute you. ************ It's a shame the people of the era didn't think of this ... they could have just asked God to change his save files ************ Can we say Bad Boy? [/quote] I dunno, I'll try. "Bad Dog." "Big Boy." "Boy Band." "Bad Godesberg." No, I guess we can't ************ Bad tactical move ... the monitor is more expensive than the desk, and besides, shattered glass is dangerous ************ Maybe they've been to Madrid for lunch again ************ Everywhere seems to be uphill when you're trying to walk home after 23 pints of Guiness... ************ If 100 people set out for Quebec in a boat, and half the boat sinks, the other half is not going to reach Quebec ************ Don't be so damn stupid ... you really expect this to fool anyone? We all know that second-hand kettles are just about impossible to find. ************ That is an utterly stupid and blithering suggestion. It should be perfectly obvious that 100 heretics can't all fit into the comfy chair at once. ************ Evidently the problem you're having is that the province from hell froze over ************ Less highly after the head is removed, though ************ You're out by a factor of 2000 per cent. That's impressive ************ And then there's Torpenhow hill - Tor, Pen and How are all old words for hill, so this is literally named Hillhillhill Hill. ************ You could follow Haile Selassie's example and appoint yourself God. ************ Well if I were a small German country, I wouldn't allow anyone to diplo-annex me unless they could spell my name right. |
|
|
|
|
|
#2 |
|
Smurf Admin
Administrator
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brugge
Posts: 27,246
|
"If 100 people set out for Quebec in a boat, and half the boat sinks, the other half is not going to reach Quebec "
LOL
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#3 |
|
Champion of Direct Democracy
![]() Join Date: May 2001
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 904
|
Would have been cool to see the posts who triggered your answers.
__________________
Wir wollen sein ein einig Volk von Brüdern. In keiner Not uns trennen und Gefahr.... |
|
|
|
|
|
#4 |
|
Lacking in Title Creativity
![]()
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Around
Posts: 1,099
|
Great humor here. A real legacy
|
|
|
|
|
|
#5 |
|
Troll-slayer
Moderator
![]()
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 9,180
|
At least give us context for the Quebec one.
__________________
The History Forum: A By-Product of the Computer Gaming Industry Victoria: Based on a True Story I did not envy him his devotion to Kurtz, though. He had not meditated over it. It came to him, and he accepted it with a sort of eager fatalism. I must say that to me it appeared about the most dangerous thing in every way he had come upon so far. --- Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad |
|
|
|
|
|
#6 |
|
Phobophile
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville (NOT LONGOEIL) - Québec, Canada
Posts: 1,337
|
Hey about the last one it was me!
I made a typing mistake writing Wurtenburg, I wrote Wurtemgurg. Is that that much of a joke? |
|
|
|
|
|
#7 |
|
Smurf Admin
Administrator
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brugge
Posts: 27,246
|
His answer was
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#8 |
|
Phobophile
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville (NOT LONGOEIL) - Québec, Canada
Posts: 1,337
|
What is that suppose to mean?
|
|
|
|
|
|
#9 |
|
Smurf Admin
Administrator
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brugge
Posts: 27,246
|
That his answer back then was a good joke.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#10 |
|
Phobophile
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville (NOT LONGOEIL) - Québec, Canada
Posts: 1,337
|
Well, it was a typo error, is that really funny?
|
|
|
|
|
|
#11 | |
|
Corporal
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 30
|
Re: Collected Teachings
Quote:
so true![]() I can only imagine what the context of that was...
__________________
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#12 |
|
Organically Correct
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: ...all lost in the supermarket...
Posts: 6,538
|
I thought it was.
![]() Cheers Heyesey
__________________
Marx has taught us that the proletariat must break up the State Machine. ~Lenin |
|
|
|
|
|
#13 | |
|
Colonel
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: freeland, pa, usa
Posts: 873
|
Re: Collected Teachings
Quote:
__________________
to alchohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems- Homer J Simpson secrecy begs tyranny- jubal harshaw |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#14 |
|
Colonel
![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: freeland, pa, usa
Posts: 873
|
see, i laughed, i learned, i had a good time in this thread. Cheers Heyesey! I raise a Black and Tan to you!
__________________
to alchohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems- Homer J Simpson secrecy begs tyranny- jubal harshaw |
|
|
|
|
|
#15 | |
|
Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 3,522
|
Quote:
But the notion of someone pretending to be a small German nation is pretty humourous Makes Napoleon complex look fairly straightforward.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#16 |
|
Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 3,522
|
Collected Teachings and the Contexts in which they Arose
........where I can remember them, anyway. It took me four hours to search through 2,500 posts and pick out all the silliest ones, and I ain't doing it again just to quote the preceding posts.
![]() ************ Playing as Spain, I inherited the Aztec empire when their king died. I'm not sure that counts though, because it was me who killed him Obviously from a discussion about how to inherit nations ************ "And furthermore, in addition to all of the above demands, you are required to surrender to us the province of Gibraltar, and grant us the right, until now selfishly kept unto yourselves, of looking at the cute lil monkeys clambering over the rock." Why is Gibraltar an important province, to the extent that the British demanded it ************ Of course you can smell a shrink. They had to shrink the Chinese guy to fit him into your PC. This one's a long story ... hardly surprising really It was from a what's-the-harp-mean thread .. someone suggested it was a small Chinese guy inside the PC playing a harp, and for reasons only known to himself, BiB replied "I smell a shrink."************ And you can cure a headache by cutting off your head, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to do so. No idea. Someone suggesting a solution to a problem which would have cause some other, bigger problem, if implemented. ************ What use is a slave if he's just going to play EU all day long instead of attending to his chores? I say the meat grinder is the only solution. How to prevent your brother playing EU and buggering up your savegame files ************ First of all, see a doctor. Obsessing that badly over one game can't be good for you .. at least I'm obsessive about lots of different PC games A post about people obsessing over EU? Could be damn near any thread on the forum ************ .... but at least you have safe bananas. From complaints about the USA educational system ... believe it or not. Apparently their sex education classes include teaching them how to put a condom on a banana. Be warned, kids - just because you have a banana at the side of the bed with a condom on it, you can still get her pregnant. ************ Well you know how huge the demand for thick, warm fur coats is in subsaharan Africa.... Someone once found an Ethiopian trading post on the north coast of Canada ************ " Hmm ... 'maketh $$$ in thy free time ... respondeth to this letter within six days ...' ..what date is it today, Mavis? April 5th .. so this letter was sent ... umm .... nineteen months ago. I think we can safely burn it." What do people in TPs do in their spare time.... ************ He meant black holes with the mass of cats, as should be perfectly clear to everyone .... now that we finally have a serious scientific discussion under way, don't pollute it with trivialities..... The fact that you are still capable of typing suggests your cat was too passive for the experiment to be of significance. Ordinarily, practical attempts to replicate this test by the lay public will result in a hefty stitching job for the local hospital... Both relating to a topic about cats and toast. An old Zen question: if cats always fall feet first, and toast always falls buttered side down, what happens if you staple the toast to the cat and then drop the two together? This thread is worth hunting for - it was seriously funny ************ I've smelt the canals in Venice. They would thank you for cleaning them up with an occasional fire. Reply to someone who looted Venice a lot. ************ Provided you can remember which one province your country is. "Dammit, where IS my homeland? I know I left it around here somewhere...no, wait, that's Kleves. Maybe a little more to the east..." Small nations being easy to keep track of where you upgraded things, since with only one province, you either did or you didn't. ************ Come back Andorra, all is forgiven... Reference to Andorra having been forgotten about in the Treaty of Versailles 1919, which led to it being the only nation in history to fight two World Wars at the same time. Since its entire military force consists of one sergeant, one private, and some blank ammunition for ceremonial purposes, it is also probably the nation least equipped to do so. ************ Actually I'm usually sitting down when I write these posts Someone claiming I stand alone. ************ .... a new milestone in pointless posting ...quote a previous message and say absolutely nothing. I salute you. Self evident... someone quoted a previous post, but accidentally clicked send before typing in what they were going to say about it. ************ It's a shame the people of the era didn't think of this ... they could have just asked God to change his save files No idea. Try asking God - it'll still be on his save files if he hasn't changed them ************ Bad tactical move ... the monitor is more expensive than the desk, and besides, shattered glass is dangerous How to deal with EU-inspired frustration. I prefer the beating-fist-on-desk method to the slightly more dangerous bashing-forehead-against-monitor technique ************ Maybe they've been to Madrid for lunch again How come someone-or-other-weird has maps of nearly all the world ************ Everywhere seems to be uphill when you're trying to walk home after 23 pints of Guiness... Someone forgot he'd used the random-province generator and didn't understand why half of Ireland was mountainous ************ If 100 people set out for Quebec in a boat, and half the boat sinks, the other half is not going to reach Quebec From a suggestion that if you send 100 colonists, not all of them should arrive ************ Don't be so damn stupid ... you really expect this to fool anyone? We all know that second-hand kettles are just about impossible to find. Response to BiB, who pointed out that building 25 shipyards, switching to Protestant, buying a used kettle and dancing naked on your computer desk would result in two extra settlers ************ That is an utterly stupid and blithering suggestion. It should be perfectly obvious that 100 heretics can't all fit into the comfy chair at once. Obviously something about the Spanish Inquisition, and the continual unexpectedness of it ************ Evidently the problem you're having is that the province from hell froze over Discussion about high attrition in Dobruja ************ Less highly after the head is removed, though Some reference to Charles I of England being beheaded, I forget exactly what ************ And then there's Torpenhow hill - Tor, Pen and How are all old words for hill, so this is literally named Hillhillhill Hill. Discussion of silly place names. This is the silliest one I've ever come across ************ Well if I were a small German country, I wouldn't allow anyone to diplo-annex me unless they could spell my name right. As described above. When I'm trying to be humourous, my guiding rule for a humourous insult is that, as long as I believe it to be more funny than it is insulting, I'll use it. To take a non-EU example, I wouldn't find it at all funny to say to an overweight person, "You fat bastard" ..although a lot of people I know apparently do. But, when said person was chuckling about her weight making her feel suicidal, I replied, "Wouldn't matter if it does. Throw yourself out of the window, you'll only bounce." Apologies to anyone who has ever been offended by me trying to be funny. When I'm deliberately trying to be insulting, you'll know about it all right
|
|
|
|
|
|
#17 | |
|
Corporal
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Grand Daimyohold of California, Los Angeles Province
Posts: 40
|
Quote:
![]() Spelling 3litist d00dette, Himiko |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#18 |
|
Smurf Admin
Administrator
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brugge
Posts: 27,246
|
Württemburg
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#19 | |
|
Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 3,522
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#20 |
|
Smurf Admin
Administrator
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brugge
Posts: 27,246
|
I know but it still lacked a t
__________________
|
|
|
|
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
|
|