Mexico: We People Here

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Just to fool around with Mexico... and ask your kind help in going through the game.

Settings: 1.02, normal / normal.

Starting conditions: war with Texas.

Independent nation.

Objective: conquer North America. NOT compete with Aprof's Diaro de Mexico!

Style: quick and hopefully to the point.

Help from readers: highly appreciated! I write as I play, so your suggestions will find their way into the game.

Frequency of updates: I am changing my life right now (divorcing with one girl and - maybe - moving in with another) so I have no clue how much PC-time I'll have over these hols.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

President woke up. Headache.

He looked around the room.

A half-bottle of Tequila on his bedside table. A plate with a squashed enchilada next to it. A big blue fly is having a feast on the enchilada.

Between this piece of impressionist art and himself, someone was snoring. President tried to focus his vision on this new object and realised this was a woman. Long black hair covered her face competely so he couldn't say how she looked.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

'Yeah?' President said.

A man walked in: 'Senor President. Good morning.'

'Excuse me. I am a bit confused. You are?..'

'Your Advisor, sir.'

'And this is?..'

'Your Prostitute, sir.'

'I see.' President pulled his blanket up to cover more of his body. He felt suddenly uncomfortable. The woman moved, but did not wake up.

'Senor President?' The advisor inquired after a suitable silence.

'Ah, yes. May I ask you to send in someone to clean up the room, see away this woman and bring me the briefing on the latest in our country?'

'Consider it done, sir.'

[Gaijin de Moscu]

President was sitting on the side of his bed in his pyjamas and his slippers. The room was now clean but still smelled funny. Prostitute declined (in a rather strong language) all suggestions to wake up and continued to snore happily away behind him.

Advisor was standing in front of him, still holding a tray on which he had brought in the morning briefing. His face was white. His knees were unstable. Large drops of perspiration were running down his cheeks.

Because President was screaming. He was right at the end of a rather long and richly formulated verbal paragraph, the gist of which could easily be condensed to a simple question: 'who the <beep> had been running this country?'

'But sir...' Advisor ventured when President ran out of breath and he saw a unique opportunity to adjust the direction of President's thinking. 'You did, sir.'

President replied with another long paragraph which was, unfortunately, again rather senseless. Suddenly he stopped himself and asked:

‘What?’

‘Yes sir, you did sir, Senor President.’

‘Look, Advisor. I know I lost my memory this morning, but I don’t think I became smarter.’

‘I wouldn’t think so sir.’

‘And somehow I clearly see the silliness of the previous policies. Look at your paper. We are at war with Texas. And with the USA. Borth of them are in the North. They have occupied San Antonio, which is also in the North. Right?’

‘Right.’

‘And where are our armies? All over the place! But all of them – in the South!’

‘Yes sir. You ordered them there sir in case the trouble from our Southern neighbour would spill into…’

‘Next. We are losing 70 pounds a day. We have no money to support our army. We don’t have a single factory. And not a single ship. And we are investing into?...’

‘Education, sir.’ Advisor looked a bit silly saying that. ‘Oh, and… fighting the organised crime, sir.’ Somehow, it did not come out as well as Advisor intended.

President roared, but did not produce another one of his senseless paragraphs. Prostitute moved around the bed, but did not wake up. Advisor closed his eyes, but did not leave the room.

--

By the end of the day, the county became deeply thoughtful as the new Presidential orders were published in the evening papers:

1. Send all the armies North, to actually fight in the war.
2. Cut all investment into education and crime prevention to zero.
3. Increase taxes and tariffs to the maximum.
4. Purchase lots of cement and lumber to build trading posts in Africa and Pacific.
5. Start hunting for writing paper, chairs and working clothes in the world market.
6. Ban prostitution. But 5 years later because of the lack of money right now.

Has he finally woken up? - was the whisper in the streets of Mexico City and sleepy provincial towns.

--

And in the months after that, people became a bit prouder to call themselves Mexicanos.

Texan army was annihilated, and all the provinces of this obscure state were occupied by the nation’s forces. US troops who marched in to help their desperate allies were outmanoeuvred, and two US colonies got claimed for the Mexican Democracy: Oklahoma and Colorado.

Finally, the defeated Texans sued for a most humiliating peace, offering three provinces. President accepted.

And in the matters of overseas interests, some bizarre progress was also made. Mexican trading posts were plopped in Cameroon, Nigeria and Okinawa. Why would Republic’s children go for several months without school so that these adventures be funded, no one had a slightest idea.

But it sure was a proud thing to do: out-smarting the Russians in Africa, Yankees in Mid-West and Spaniards in Pacific.



North of Mexico in April 1838: Yellow colour shows the gains in the First Texan War.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

1838 - 1850

The three of them were sitting on the balcony of the new Presidential Palace, overlooking the ruins of excavated Aztec temples. They all had light masks covering their faces: it became hard to breathe in the capital because of all the black smog coming from the recently built four factories.

'What a bore,' Mistress, formerly known as Prostitute, said. 'Building factories, supplying clothes for the workers to cover their…’

‘Any suggestions?’ President asked rather impatiently. He recently became apprehensive of the Mistress who just would not leave and, more importantly, would not keep quiet. She was good in bed though, which compensated for her profusion of opinions.

‘A war, for example?’ Mistress lifted her mask, bit off a large piece of an apple and started to chew it with much gusto.

Advisor swallowed his suddenly abundant saliva. ‘Madam, if I may. President and his Partido Conservativa barely got elected last time… a war will be devastating for the polls.’

Mistress froze him with a stare. ‘People need an enemy. They think too much otherwise. Please come up with one! It’s your job, one would think.’

‘Ah!’ President said. ‘Un momento.’ He stood up from his armchair and disappeared in the room. A few minutes later, he rushed back in with a bunch of papers in his hands.

‘Here!’ he said. ‘I like your idea Madam. And you know, I've been thinking about it myself. The next election is coming soon, and I haven’t given my people any news in years… A small war would be nice to remind them that I’m here.’

‘Nice, darling,’ Mistress said. ‘Let’s look at your papers.’

President rolled out his first scroll:



‘Ouch!’ Mistress said, scratching her cute little nose. ‘It hurts my eyes looking at these two big Northern blobs.’

‘Indeed,’ Advisor said just not to be completely forgotten.

‘Dear Madame, mayhaps it’s too early to think about that,’ President ventured.

‘Oh yeah… we are not too strong… yet. What do you have in your other picture?’

President blushed. ‘You know,’ he said, looking a bit embarrassed, ‘I know you don’t like Africa that much, but I’ve actually strategised a bit last night.’

‘Really?’

‘Great!’ Advisor said, feeling a bit ignored.

‘Look!’ President said and laid out the second paper in front of them. ‘My last night’s plans.’



‘Mmm,’ Madame said, starting on another juicy apple. ‘Nice.’

--

And so the war on Sokoto was declared. United States of Central America was so surprised and outraged (no one understood why, since they were in no relation with the target) that they immediately declared their own war on Mexico. It ended very soon in a white peace, however.

Commander stood up in front of the recently recruited Fang Dragoons in the fertile province of Ngaoundere which is in Upper Cameroon.

‘My Sons!’ he said, with a tear or two in his eyes. ‘There is our enemy. There! Recall all their atrocities.’ He himself could remember none, so he added: ‘The list is long! Too long. And now, after threatening your very existence for such a long time, they dare to threaten the security of the Mexican mainland.’ He hoped it made better sense to these children of nature than it did to him. ‘Let us fight!’ he surveyed the confused faces of his dragoons and considered it useful to add in a more conversational manner: ‘And while we march into their undefended provinces, the Regulares from the Mexican mainland will arrive to engage the enemy’s main division.’

That note did the trick. ‘Hurray!’ the native Dragoons yelled and rode off to plunder the defenceless Sokoto territories.

Sokoto was annexed a year later.

Partido Conservativa was re-elected by the voters relieved of the mortal dangers from overseas.

--

‘Mmm,’ Mistress said, looking at the new world map. ‘Nice.’

‘Thank you, dear,’ President said.



‘Now, I notice something promising,’ she continued.

Advisor swallowed.

‘Look!’ Mistress said, pointing her manicured finger towards some provinces in central Africa. ‘These lands are claimed by us. But they are not yet Mexico.’

Advisor coughed: ‘Indeed they are not Madame, we have our trading posts in some of them. But so do the Dutch and indeed the Ottomans and Russians… This presents certain... complications.’

‘Well do something about it!’ She touched President’s hand and laughed softly: ‘Right, dear?’

[Lunar]

Keep it up. I'll be checking back on this one.

[J. Passepartout]

Another Gaijin AAR! A Victoria one! YES!!

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Lunar, thanks a lot for the encouragement! Next part is coming

Lord Passepartout, nice to see you here sir!

Any advice is welcome...

[Gaijin de Moscu]

1850 – 1857

President was still in charge of Partido Conservador, and his party was still being re-elected despite a growing number of liberals in the nation. So he felt relatively secure as he began to set up a new geopolitical situation in the world. In his mind, it would take 10-15 years to develop.

Almost monthly he dispatched diplomats to Great Britain, who courted the British officials, treating them to lavish entertainment. This brought the relations with Britain to the best ever possible level. His hope was that this would keep the Brits from mudding his waters as he expanded Mexican spheres of control worldwide.

His strategy was simple. He wanted to position Mexico as a threat to the USA short-term, and then, much later, as a threat to England itself. This would hopefully make them declare wars on his nation. And he will be prepared to defend. People will rally around his flag. Conquests will be justified. Mistress will be happy.

Yeah; that was a much better strategy that blind frontal attacks that some in his administration wanted. The only challenge was to keep other strong players happy and uninvolved.

But he will need 1 declaration of war to kick off this geopolitical setup.

After careful consideration, he chose Ottomans.

Ottoman War

A note was dispatched to Constantinople with a demand to stop the Turkish colonisation in Africa. It was predictably refused; so the next morning the Turkish Sultan received a telegraphed message with a formal declaration of war.

‘Nice, darling,’ Mistress said. ‘So I will get to do next Christmas shopping in Constantinople bazaars?’

‘Hmm, not quite. I only want to claim a few of their colonies… and then we will see.’

The Fang Dragoons Began to dash about the African lands claimed by Turkey:



Soon, all the Turkish trading posts flew Mexican flags.

‘We have a problem, Senor President sir,’ Advisor said one morning. Holland has claimed one province in Niger. We can not annex this colony sir!’

President winked uncomfortably at the drama in his Advisor’s voice. ‘Think of something, please. Buy it, for example.’

‘I will take care of it dear,’ Mistress said, looking through the Advisor.

The Dutch Council was invited for a night of Flamenco and Tequila. By midnight, a deal was concluded rather effortlessly.



President called in all the members of his administration the next morning, just after annexing the colonies of Niger and Tchad.

‘Senores! You are the first ones to see something which will be published in all newspapers of Mexico tonight. Behold! Our new, rich, densely populated African lands.’



And from there on, he started to send offers of while peace to his colleague the Turkish Sultan. For two years, no response came back from Constantinople despite Mexico gradually taking all of the Turkish possessions in Africa, including the Mediterranean coast.

‘I can not take this crap any more,’ he said to Mistress one morning, boiling with rage. 'I am going to his capital myself.’

And so he arrived to Constantinople at the head of 5 best Mexican divisions. He realised that most of Turkish mainland was by that time occupied by Russians with whom the Turks had their own dragged-out war, but the capital was still free for his taking. So he took it.

While at it, he occupied the bordering province, too, and had a leisurely battle with a division of freshly mobilised Turkish reinforcements.



The tired-looking Turkish sultan received him in one of the city’s palaces. He listened carefully to President’s complaint of having to come all the way over to Constantinople with the offers of peace.

‘I do apologise for the trouble you’ve taken, President,’ Sultan said. ‘But Russians must have cut all my telegraph lines. I received none of your kind offers.’

‘Ah, I see. What a shame.’

‘What do you want then? Some African lands? Take them! All of them! Here – take ten, take fifteen. I don’t care any longer. Just leave me the Mediterranean.’

‘No-no. Egyptians call some of these provinces their own. They are likely to fight me; and with all due respect, these lands are not worth more warfare.’

‘So what do you suggest? I’ll be happy to leave it at that, as you see. These Russians…’

‘Tell you what. Why don’t you just give me a few lands south of Tripoli and half of your monthly income in compensation for the last two years of ignoring my goodwill?’

The Sultan puffed and grumbled, but signed the peace deal. After all, he did not like the map which President showed him:


Pink areas show Turkish lands occupied by Mexicans by the time the peace was finally signed.


‘Lovely!’ Mistress said, as she savoured some Turkish cuisine and the view of Bosporus from the deck of their flagship. ‘With all this money, you can finally build that railroad for us to enjoy the countryside… well done dear.’

Advisor came in, panting. He stopped in front of the President and gave him three opened envelopes. ‘These are from Netherlands, Portugal and… Spain, sir.’

‘Ah, how wonderful!’ Mistress clapped her hands. ‘I love congratulations from the kings.’

‘I am afraid these are not congratulations, Madam,’ President said as he scanned the letter. ‘These are declarations of war.’

Damn, he thought. My plan has backfired a bit.

[Machiavellian]

Can you say.. 'Ut oh' or perhaps "Badboy"

Nice update. I look forward to seeing how you weather the storm.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Originally Posted by Machiavellian

Can you say.. 'Ut oh' or perhaps "Badboy"

Nice update. I look forward to seeing how you weather the storm.

Yeah... two DOWs, one annexation of Pagans and I am the world's beating boy.

Combined with the low growth of my POPs (I have a choice of (1) either building factories and depleting my RGOs of workforce or (2) keeping RGOs producing or (3) building armies) this game is a challenge indeed

[Kgw]

Interesting AAR, Gaijin de Moscu, sir. It's nice to watch Mexico in the winner side, for a while.
Just one thing: Mexicans do not dance flamenco, Spain have not Mariachis playing their guitars . You know, countries torn apart by a common tongue, that us.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

1857 - 1861

The Dutch War

President called Admiral in.

'We are sailing to Amsterdam,' he said.

Surprisingly, his transport ships met no resistance from the supposedly naval nations of Netherlands, Portugal and Spain as they approached their landing site near the Dutch Capital.

President landed his troops and took a few provinces, having to do only a few manoeuvres to avoid contact with the regular Dutch troops hustily assembled to face the invasion: the main body of their army, with all the country leadership, was at that moment marching into the heart of the Mexican Africa.

President wrote a quick telegramme to his colleague the head of Dutch state:

'Sir,

I have been disturbed somewhat by your recent declaration of war. Needless to say I find it laughable: you are feeding moskitoes in Tchad while I am sitting here in your Cabinet drinking Your tea.

50% of your country's monthly budget for the next 5 years will be enough of a compensation for my troubles of travelling here.

Respectfully,

[signed]

President of Mexico.'

Netherlads accepted the offer and joined Ottomans in their pedantic monthly payments into the Mexican treasury.


Situation in Netherlands just after signing of the Mexico-Dutch peace of 1859.

The Portuguese War

'Well my dear,' President said to Mistress. 'We are finally sailing back. On the way to Mexico however, we'll have a brief stop in Lissabon.'

'But of course dear.'

Advisor had nothing to say.

Having landed in Lissabon, again unapposed, President repeated the pleasant routine of his European wars. In a few months, and after zero losses of life on both sides, Portugal began their own monthly payments to Mexico.

The Spanish War

'I am getting tired of your wars,' Mistress complained. "I don't want to go to Madrid... Spaniards can be so... vigorous in their wars.'

'I know my dear. I am handling this little nuisance.' He called Advisor: 'Listen, my old friend. Spain is allied to France. And France is exhausted from their wars with Prussia. Maybe we could approach them with our peace negotiations?'

'Yes sir,' Advisor said, and delivered a bloodless peace wth France and Spain in no time.

The Southern War

Their return to homeland was far from celebratory, however: their troubled Southern neighbour, the US of Central America, declared their own war on Mexico, and the USCA armies were already marching into Ucatan and Oajaca.

'Oh please,' Advisor moaned. 'These are not Europeans... these ones will fight.'

'It's all for the good, my old friend!' President said happily. 'Let's fight back and see what we can get.'

And after a whole year of bloody warfair, Mexico gained eight provinces in a peace deal offered by the enemy shocked by the sudden appearence of Mexico's battle-hardened African brigades with their long knifes and attocious reputations.


Pink shows territorial gains in the Southern war of 1859-1860.

--

After these highly profitable wars, Mexico's world standing was second only to the United Kingdom.

President decided to dedicate the years of peace to the consolidation of his growing democratic state. He invested the astronomical wealth pouring monthly into his treasury to building railroads in all Mexican mainland, and on some key African routes; fighting corruption, building army, establishing acceptable healthcare and unemployment subsidies. Needless to say, he got re-elected.

He also built several factories, becoming self-sufficient in many of his needs and even starting to export some steel and glass.

He was even able to pay the 100,000 suddenly demanded by several foreign governments convinced that Mexico was in some sort of civil war and thus indebted to them for inexistent arm supplies. 'Greedy bastards,' he thought while signing the check. 'Get off my back. What Mexican Civil War?'

A whole year went by rather quietly; until, in December 1861, news of trouble came from the North. USA was falling apart.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Originally Posted by Kgw

Interesting AAR, Gaijin de Moscu, sir. It's nice to watch Mexico in the winner side, for a while.
Just one thing: Mexicans do not dance flamenco, Spain have not Mariachis playing their guitars . You know, countries torn apart by a common tongue, that us.

Thanks Kgw!

I know, I know... I was joking. My g/f dances Flamenco so I just put it in

[stnylan]

Have fun in your northern jaunts!

[Seidita]

very enjoyable AAAR, i especially like this

He was even able to pay the 100,000 suddenly demanded by several foreign governments convinced that Mexico was in some sort of civil war and thus indebted to them for inexistent arm supplies. 'Greedy bastards,' he thought while signing the check. 'Get off my back. What Mexican Civil War?'

[nalivayko]

Hm, good thing I did not miss much! USA, Turkey, Netherlands, Portugal, USCA? Nice list (forget African conquests). If you did not tell me you were writing one I am afraid I'd miss it completely. Very good aar, easy read, nice pictures, you've got my interest.

[Blade!]

Blade! wants more!

[Nuclear Winter]

Hey chap, great AAR!!! But only a question: How did you manage to get such a large colony in Nigeria so soon?Usually when I gather enough money to try some colonialism portugal and brittain have already stablished trading posts in most of Nigeria

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Stnylan, thanks! They are indeed formidable for the poor me.

Seidita, thanks! I guess the Mexican Civil war event did not fire up but the event with the consequences still did

Nalivaiko, yeah that was a tense year... but more violence is coming, which will make those wars seem a soft joke.

Blade! will get more I promise. I am catching up on the game mechanics a little to deliver a better read for you sir.

Nuclear Winter, thanks for reading! The colony was relatively easy: I increased taxes, cut all expenses and colonised like a little madman. Then swapped some claims with the Dutch and waged a colonial war on Ottomans... et voiula.

[Nuclear Winter]

Chap, there are 3 factories you need to be able to send your industrial development as high as the sky: you need Clothing factories , common furniture factories and machine parts factories. With them you have the parts to build factories and the materials to create craftsmen, and believe me, playing as a 3rd world nation you are gonna need to create lots of craftsmen (at least I do in my games). Paper, cement and lumber can be bought on the world market, whilst furniture and clothing are seldomly available(of the other ones the most important are lumber and paper, for the price, and also some fabric for the clothing).
With that thou shall be able to create a mostly industrial society ready to set fear into the hearts of the yankees. (Well, if you don´t don´t blame me )