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29-10-2003, 06:12
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Lt. General
    
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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Poleaxing for Poland! A Poland AAR
Its my first AAR. I have always wanted to do one of these I hope it is as enjoyable to write one as it appears. Any and all feedback welcome of course.
Poleaxing for Poland! Or The More Kings Change the More Kings Remain the Sejm. A Poland AAR Version 1.07 plus latest version of EEP (1.4.2) Goal: to unite all Baltic+Polish+Ruthenian+Lithuanian provinces plus all CB shields and Kustrin and Hinterpommern into a great Eastern Polish Empire and make it an economic and colonial powerhouse. The Year was 1419 and Wladislaw II Jagiello King of Poland (formerly known as Jogaila Grand Duke of Lithuania) was at the height of his power and glory over his invincible Kingdom of Poland, which no mortal realm could even compare. Or at least so said his constant companion, Fawning Courtier.  King Wladislaw II Jagiello Fawning Courtier: Oh great King! Your glorious victory over the German brutes at Grunwald has brought on a new era of peace and glory to your many prosperous and happy people! Wladislaw II Jagiello: Um yes. It was rather glorious wasn’t it? Fawning Courtier: Oh YES oh King! Why I am a mere pox on the ass of the world compared to your might and power! Your glory and majesty are such that I am struck dumb and blind just being in your noble presence! Wladislaw II Jagiello: Yes yes why don’t you bow down and lick clean the royal boots? Fawning Courtier: Why it would be an HONOR to um…lick...those filthy things…from such a NOBLE AND GLORIOUS KING *kneels and begins to slavishly lick the King’s boots* Wladislaw II Jagiello: Its good to be the King. But nonetheless great issues did trouble the royal mind. Wladislaw II Jagiello: Um…if I am Wladislaw II then who is this guy called Wladislaw II who was King of Poland from 1139-1159?  King Wladislaw II (1139-1159) Embarrassed Court Chronicler: Well that is because we sort of forgot about those earlier Kings sire. Actually now that I look at it, it looks like there were two Wladislaw Is.  King Wladislaw I (1079-1102)  King Wladislaw I (1320-1333) Wladislaw II Jagiello: So then I should be Wladislaw IV Jagiello right? Embarrassed Court Chronicler: Well then we would just look ridiculous for calling you an incorrect number since 1396 wouldn’t we? I think we should try to keep this quiet as if it got out it would make it look like Poland was full country bumpkins and fools. Wladislaw II Jagiello: Good point my loyal servant. In fact I think everybody who possesses this knowledge should be locked away to preserve this dangerous crown secret. GUARDS! Embarrassed Court Chronicler: Excellent my liege! This must not get out or…HEY…WHAT ARE YOU * WOMP * * THUD * * The guards drag Unconscious Court Chronicler off to the dungeon * Wladislaw II Jagiello: Ok glad that’s taken care of. Now I am looking at the ancient maps of the realm and I notice our border once extended all the way to the Oder River and included the city of Gdansk and I notice all these provinces are now in the hands of small German states. Since I have led the mighty armies of Poland and Lithuania to victory in defense of the realm I think we shall now go to CONQUER OTHERS REALMS! Royal Lackeys and Yes-Men: HURRAH! LONG LIVE THE KING! DEATH TO THE GERMANS! Cautious Court Adviser: Um my liege those claims are centuries old and most of that territory now belongs to the Empire. I am afraid only our claim on Gdansk is even recognized by the rest of Europe…. Wladislaw II Jagiello: Well soon they will HAVE to recognize the ancient and God-given rights of the invincible KING OF POLAND! Oh and spread the word throughout the realm that all nobles who do not answer the royal call to arms will have their taxes doubled. Outraged Conservative Noble: But won’t that centralize the power of the kingdom in royal hands and lesson the noble’s power in decision-making and also reduce the kingdom’s stability? Wladislaw II Jagiello: Well yes that’s the idea. TO ARMS! Royal Lackeys and Yes-Men: TO ARMS! FOR POLAND! FOR KING WLADISLAW! Narrator: And thus did the great King Wladislaw IV * Womp * * Thud * * The Guards drag ex-Narrator off to the dungeon * Back-up Narrator: And um….thus did the great King Wladislaw II Jagiello lead the invincible Polish Kingdom and his former Grand Duchy of Lithuania into war with the Teutonic Knights and their perfidious allies the dastardly Livonian Order. Poland in 1419:  Polish Provinces: Wielkopolska (Gniezno) Krakow (Krakow) Podlasia (Lublin) Poznan (Poznan) Mazowia (Warszawa) Ruthenian Heretic Orthodox Province: Galicia (Lwow) Stability: 0 Land: 1 Naval: 0 Trade: 0 Infrastructure: 1 Aristocracy: 10 Centralization: 3 Innovativeness: 6 Mercantilism: 9 Offensive Doctrine: 8 Land: 8 Quality: 5 Serfdom: 9 Poland and Lithuania are at war with the Teutonic and Livonian Orders The Polish Army consists of 10,000 Infantry cannon fodder and 15,000 noble Cavalry ready to pillage and plunder the territories of the German knights! Last edited by John Poole; 15-11-2003 at 23:38. |
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29-10-2003, 06:30
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The Fat Cat
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,111
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Poland AAR!!! Go and become the beast in the East.
My suggestion is to change the font color of dark red and red into something more readable. Currently, I have to highlight them to be able too see the text properly  .
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Editing, strategy, tips and tools for HoI 2: HoI 2 Wiki |
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29-10-2003, 08:12
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Alternate Historian
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: The endless maze of my own imagination.
Posts: 1,868
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I definately like the style and have actually not read a Poland AAR yet. It reminds me of Fractured Fairy tales (i think thats what it was called) from Rocky and Bullwinkle, though I am sure that is what you were going for.
The various pictures of all the King Wladislaw's is great along with the current Kings questioning. I'll be following this one.
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"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer..." 54-40' or... A counter-factual history of the Oregon Territory and the birth of Columbia. The Double Cross and The Golden Bull A tale of the 'new' history of the Kingdom of Hungary Royalist Roast: A Puritan AAR The adventures of the second puritan revolution Upon the desert sands: A Mongol Empire Scenario Dynasties in conflict with Outremer |
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29-10-2003, 11:21
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Irken Tallest
      
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Quasispace
Posts: 5,507
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Lovable, just loveable
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"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are...[a] few other Texas oil millionaries, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid." -Dwight D. Eisenhower |
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29-10-2003, 12:35
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#5 |
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Serf
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Behind you!
Posts: 826
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I can't see it!
Could you change the color of the text so that it would be more visible?
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Walt Disney had wooden teeth. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. The Sanskrit word for war translates as 'wanting more cows.' For more interesting facts visit the Random facts site 
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29-10-2003, 14:18
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Lt. General
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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Ok there I am trying Red and Yellow. It seems a little TOO bright to me but hopefully that will make it easier to see.
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29-10-2003, 14:57
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Maestro
Demi Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Mobile AL
Posts: 3,522
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Very funny!
And very nice to see someone tackle Poland. Keep plenty of past-years backed up as save-games, I lost two Polands and a Bohemia that way. I second what everyone else has been saying about the red text. A good beginning, and now we're off to the races... er, wars!
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"That which does not kill me, has made a grave tactical error." - Jerry Pournelle
Seven AARs and a picture, too: Director's Inkwell A Special Providence - An Ongoing Vic/Rev AAR of the Knights Temporal in the Victorian Era, A Tale of The Axe and the Killing Frost +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ |
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29-10-2003, 16:17
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Lt. General
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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Ok, lets try Orange for the Narrator. Now I hope that is visible?
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29-10-2003, 17:31
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#9 |
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Lt. General
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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The War and the Concessions of Czerwiñski
Newly Promoted Narrator: The great king attacked the vile German knights with Polish grit and courage rode bravely into Teutonic territory.
Wladislaw II Jagiello: Quickly! The Germans are attacking Lithuania now is our chance! * Polish soldiers rampage through Prussia, looting and pillaging * Narrator: And when the vile knights confronted the invincible army of Poland they were easily crushed near Grunwald…again. Tactically Competent Knight: It looks like the Poles have positioned themselves expecting us to charge right at them. We shall ride around them and crush their flanks right? Gallant yet stupid Knight: Are you some sort of COWARD? We are noble knights of the Teutonic Order! We shall charge gallantly into the very teeth of their defense and stun them with our audacity! Surely they will never expect it! Army of bloodthirsty yet stupid Knights: HURRAH! CHARGE FOR HONOR AND GLORY! Tactically Competent Knight: Ugh mom was right I should have just been a priest. * Knights charge directly into the Polish battle line and are slaughtered * Wladislaw II Jagiello: Well that was even easier than last time. Ok go siege these castles men! Bloodthirsty Polish Bandits…err…Knights: LOOT! PILLAGE! PLUNDER FOR GOD AND KING!! Polish General: My King the Teutonic Knights have much larger castles than we have ever seen before. We only have enough men to siege Gdansk and Konigsburg. Memel can only be covered by our troops and that leaves only a small field army to hold off the Livonian Knights. But this should not be a problem since your noble cousin Vytautas the Great of Lithuania is beating them badly as we speak!  Vytautas the Great, Grand Duke of Lithuania (1392-1430) Wladislaw II Jagiello: Well I knew I was on to something when I let that little brat live. Though how come he gets to be called ‘the Great’ and not me? I was the main leader at Grunwald you know? From now on I shall be called Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas! Court Lackeys and Royal Bootlickers: LONG LIVE HIS MAJESTY WLADISLAW II JAGIELLO THE GREATER THAN VYTAUTAS! Royal Messenger: Your greater than Vytautas majesty I bring news from Vilnius! Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Yes? Is Riga flying the horse-covered banner of my pagan-until-recently Lithuanian former-subjects? Royal Messenger: Well…the Lithuanians have won a great victory over the Livonian and Teutonic Orders near Riga your majesty. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Excellent! Royal Messenger: And the Teutonic Order offered to surrender to Vytautas for quite a bit of money. You see the Grand Duke was rather strapped for cash and figured the invincible Polish King could manage on his own so he took a few cartloads of gold and went home but he did tell me to wish you good luck. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas and Quite Ticked Off: WHAT?! That miserable bastard I should have killed him like I did his father! Vytautas ‘the Great’ my ass! So how does this affect our chances my loyal general? Polish General: Um…well it will take a bit for the Livonians to rebuild their forces your greater than Vytautasness. If we siege Gdansk and cover Memel and Konigsburg we should be able to field a field army of 10,000 or so. Hopefully we can bribe the Livonians to abandon their pathetic ally…just like our pathetic ally abandoned us. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Very well ride on and pillage Riga and all of Livonia! I will return to Poland to visit my mistress…err…visit my wife and raise more troops. Narrator: The noble Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas’ army the rode into the lands of the Livonian Order intent on finishing the work his cousin Vytautas the Great had started. Elsewhere in the great kingdom of Poland, the greatest Polish minds realized a startling advance in the field of economics. Polish Think Tank: Hey if we send out traders…lets call them ‘merchants’…to centers of trade we can get even more grain for beer and keep the Krakow University drunken parties going even longer! We discovered Trade Level 1! YAAAH! Narrator: Beer has always been a great motivator of Polish invention. But this created an awkward situation since the nearest center of trade was Gdansk, which was under siege from Poland’s own army at the moment. Fortunately, the Polish army came to the rescue with a brilliant innovation of their own. Polish Siege Engineer: Ok are you merchants ready to buy beer? Very Uncomfortable Looking Merchants Sitting Nervously On Catapults: Um can we talk this over? Polish Siege Engineer: Good! FIRE! Air-Born Merchants: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih! * Numerous Polish merchants fly over some very confused looking Teutonic Infantrymen on the Gdansk ramparts * Narrator: And elsewhere in Europe the Hussite Heresy spread through Bohemia following the death of Vaclav IV. The Emperor, Sigismund King of Hungary, was not really keen on this since he was supposed to be the next King and invaded. Also, and most stunning of all, was the annexation of the Duchy of Orleans by the English. As the Great King returned to Poland however he was greeted by a bitter power struggle as the Szlachta (the Nobility) demanded concessions from him at czerwiñski to get their consent to continue to war. The King was eager to negotiate. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: DIE YOU BLOODSUCKING NOBLES! I SHALL REBUILD KRAKOW WITH YOUR BONES!! Brainless Courtiers: Yes! Kill them all great King and let God sort them out! Marginally Intelligent Courtier: Um great King whose boots I love to lick and whose glory blinds me, I think it may not be a great idea to trigger a civil war by trying to kill all the nobles. Why not meet them halfway and just give them more power over the peasants? A few concessions might weaken and divide them and enable you to continue the war. Brainless Courtiers: GASP! Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Such impertinence! How dare you contradict me you worthless worm! GUARDS KILL THIS FOOL! Dead Courtier: * moan * Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Anyway where were we? Ah yes. I have a great idea! If I give them more power over their serfs perhaps it will divide the nobles enough to enable me to continue the war! Brainless Courtiers: Brilliant my liege! Narrator: The wise and merciful king presented his proposal to the Meeting of the Szlachta that very day. Outraged Conservative Noble: You must think we are a bunch of avaricious dirty old men to think we would trade our rights as nobles for more coercive power over the serfs! I will never negotiate. You are merely the first among equals king, you cannot take away our God-given rights! Avaricious Noble: Wait this says I can tax my towns and serfs at an even greater rate than before right? Sounds good to me. Dirty Old Man Noble: And look what it says I can do to my female serfs! The King is my kind of guy! Outraged Conservative Noble: You have got to be kidding me! Don’t you see the King is trying to divide us in order to dominate us? Solidarity brothers! Szlachta Leader: and the final vote is 273 for and 1 against the Kings proposal. Avaricious Dirty Old Nobles: HURRAH! Outraged Conservative Noble: * sob * Last edited by John Poole; 11-11-2003 at 22:33. |
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29-10-2003, 18:05
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Field Marshal
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,410
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Very well done, your majesty -- ah, excuse me, I mean your greater than Vytautasness!
I love the dialogue.  This is a gem.
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29-10-2003, 19:57
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#11 |
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Serf
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Behind you!
Posts: 826
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Wait, since there was 1 vote against, then the proposal should get declined because of the Libertum Veto, right?
Anyways, this is a very funny AAR. A bit too much text, but still once you get to read it it's quite enjoyable
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Walt Disney had wooden teeth. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. The Sanskrit word for war translates as 'wanting more cows.' For more interesting facts visit the Random facts site
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29-10-2003, 20:47
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#12 |
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Irken Tallest
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Quasispace
Posts: 5,507
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From what I've heard NOT crushing the nobles completely can have pretty bad long-term effects
And Liberum Veto hasn't been instituted yet!
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"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are...[a] few other Texas oil millionaries, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid." -Dwight D. Eisenhower |
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30-10-2003, 04:20
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#13 |
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Lt. General
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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Victory, Glory, and Sausage
Narrator: And so it was that the great and ever victorious armies of Poland marched through Livonia, wrecking havoc and destruction every step of the way. The Poles defeated the Livonian Order near Mitawa on 13 January 1420. The Poles defeated the Livonian Order near Riga on 2 May 1420.
* A field near Reval in the lands of the Livonian Order * Observant Livonian Knight: The Poles have dug a deep moat in front of their position and filled it with flesh-eating sharks, but they have left their flanks wide open! Livonian Chevalier sans Peur et sans Common Sense: Then we shall charge through their moat filled with flesh-eating sharks! After we do that they will be so amazed by our bravery they will surely surrender! CHARGE! Suicidal-y Brave Livonian Knights: FORWARD! FOR DEATH OR GLORY! Observant Livonian Knight: but mostly death. Narrator: The Poles then defeated the Livonian Order near Reval on 9 June 1420. In short the Poles were kicking the crap out of the Livonian Order. However, the Poles lacked enough men to besiege the great fortresses of the Livonian Order so a stalemate broke out through the winter. The Knights faced each other staring each other down to prove their valor and honor. Vandalizing Polish Knight: Hey Germans! Wait until you see what we have done to all your villages and towns! Highly Amoral Polish Knight: Hey Germans! Look as I do something not fit to be printed in a public message board to your peasants! Highly Depressed Livonian Knight: Ugh. Who are we going to exploit once these Poles are done looting and pillaging?  Some Knights of the Livonian Order who are clearly unhappy about their country being destroyed. Narrator: Fortunately for the Grandmaster of the Livonian Order he was away in Novgorod signing a trade agreement. When he returned in the summer of 1421 he was a bit upset to find his lands thoroughly pillaged and his order slaughtered. Lacking any alternative he came crawling to the Polish King Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas who was leading the siege of Reval. Siegried Lander von Spanheim Grandmaster of the Livonian Order: I am the Noble leader of the Livonian Order oh King and I congratulate you on your lucky victory over my mighty order. I have come to discuss terms of… Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Yes yes. Now unless you want me to slowly reduce each and every single one of your fortresses one by one and make you and your pitiful order my slaves I suggest you bend down and kiss the royal boots. Siegried Lander von Spanheim: What? But that is beneath my dign… Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Very well, begone I will discuss this no more. Siegried Lander von Spanheim: Erm…ok fine you smelly old Pole but don’t think I will not forget this! * Bends over and kisses the royal boots * Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Excellent, now to commence with negotiations you must hop in a circle on one leg while singing, “Poland is all powerful and my lousy order stinks” in D-minor. Siegried Lander von Spanheim: WHA…err…* starts hoping on one leg * Ooooooh Poland is allll powerful and my lousy order stiiiiiinks Narrator: The Grandmaster did thus humble himself before the king. After several hours of ‘humbling’ the king, in his just and noble way, began to listen to the Grandmasters demands. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Now, on what terms do you think we should end this fight? Siegried Lander von Spanheim: Ok I will give you the Livonian Order’s entire treasury if you will please stop looting and pillaging and GET THE HECK OFF OUR LANDS! Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Done and done! Thank you Siegried your order has been one gracious host. Narrator: So on 4 July 1421 the Livonian Order signed the Treaty of Reval and finally rid themselves of the pillaging Poles and abandoned their Teutonic brethren to rot. The Polish armies quickly turned around and marched back into Prussia. But just as the King who is greater than Vytautas was breaking camp a messenger from Vilnius rode up to his troupe. Lithuanian Messenger: King of Poland! My master, Vytautas the Great, is going to war with the heretical and dastardly Russian states of Tver, Ryazan and Muscowy and humbly asks your assistance in the name of the deep bonds of friendship and kinship that exists between our two nations. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Oh? Just like he assisted me against the knights? Very well I will dispatch general I-Don’t-Give-a-Damn and admiral Rot-In-Hell-You-Worthless-Brat to aid your war effort. Clueless Lithuanian Messenger: Very good sire, by what date can we expect these forces and where? Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: On the 30th of February. We shall fall out of the sky. Clueless Lithuanian Messenger: I shall report this good news to my master at once! God be with you oh noble King of Poland. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Yeah see you in the Kremlin! (That will be the day) Narrator: After pledging his eternal support to his loyal allies the King led his victorious armies to finish the pillaging and looting of Prussia where they left off. The Poles thoroughly enjoyed destroying the countryside of Prussia through the autumn and into the spring. That summer after over three years of siege, Gdansk finally fell much to the relief of Polish Merchants everywhere. That was on 22 July and on 5 August 1422 the Grandmaster of the Teutonic Order finally had had enough. He agreed to cede the city of Gdansk to Poland ending years of dastardly German occupation. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: People of Gdansk! Your liberation is at hand! The despicable Germans have been removed from this land and you have been restored to your rightful King! Crowd of Confused German Residents: Was? Sprechen Sie Deutches? Royal Advisor: Um it appears, your Greater than Vytautasness, that while the Germans occupied the city they turned it into a German city. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Oh well so long as they pay their taxes. Narrator: And pay their taxes they did, for no sooner had Gdansk been annexed did King Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas’ elite new tax collector force move in. In fact in every province of the Polish Kingdom the King’s new elite tax collectors were descending on the unsuspecting populace. Well all but in Galicia where the Orthodox Heretics were more likely to revolt. In a completely unrelated matter the Archbishop of Gniezno began to complain of many Catholic Poles wanting to convert to Orthodoxy. Also finding his army a little larger than he could comfortably afford, the King decided to send 5,500 infantry cannon fodder to fight in the Russian war, figuring that a good way to get rid of them. The tales of the exploits of General I-Don’t-Give-A-Damn and his army spread all throughout Lithuania. They won every battle they fought, showing that even Polish cannon fodder can beat the Russians. After nearly a year and half they kept winning and refused to die so the King in exasperation just disbanded the army, with nearly 2,000 of them still alive. In relief Moscowy gladly paid the Poles a handsome sum for removing that invincible army from the field. In 6 January 1424 the treaty of Nizhgorod ended 5 years of war where not one skirmish or battle had taken place within the Kingdom of Poland. Then a year of peace and prosperity went by. Children were happy once again to see their fathers and the harvest was good. People were content and happy and the animals were fat and prosperity seemed without end. In short it was really boring. By 26 January 1425 the King had had enough.  Krakow, Poland’s Capitol Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: God it is boring around here. Well no worry I mentioned restoring our ancient borders to the Oder remember? Well it looks like we are going to make Brandenburg and Pommerania howl! Court Hangers-on and Toadies: HURRAH! TO WAR! TO WAR! Cynical Court Economist: Yes and war is always good for the economy I concur sire. Cautious Court Advisor: But your bellicoseness, surely you realize that we have no reason to go to war with those nations! The people at home will not be happy and other kingdoms will see Poland as a vile warmonger! Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Oh? And would you like to see how vile a warmonger I am disloyal rat? Frightened Court Advisor: Um…no your intimidatingness. Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Yes I have ruled this Kingdom for almost 30 years and I don’t now want to be remembered as Wladislaw II Jagiello the Pacific! Chamberlain! Send the Elector of Brandenburg a Declaration of War and let the pummeling of Pommerania begin! Court Chamberlain: Yes your Greater than Vytautasness, just sign by the X and all will be in ord… Narrator: Suddenly a message arrived from Vilnius Lithuanian Messenger: Your majesty! My master Vytautas the Great sends his greetings and thanks for that elite force of invincible Poles you sent to help him against the Russians. However now the evil Teutonic Knights and Livonian Knights are attacking Lithuania and your humble and loyal cousin earnestly desires your aid! Wladislaw II Jagiello the Greater than Vytautas: Well that’s almost as good. One German is as good as another right? Ok men back to Prussia! Bloodthirsty Polish Marauders in Knights Clothing: HURRAH! DEATH TO THE GERMANS! POINT US IN THE DIRECTION OF THE PEASANT VILLAGES! Last edited by John Poole; 30-10-2003 at 04:32. |
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30-10-2003, 04:45
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#14 | |
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Maréchal of the Empire
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Campaigning in Central Europe
Posts: 977
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Quote:
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I was canonized on 3/10/08 Here! I was glorified on 11/12/08 Here! Vive L'Empereur Glory of the Eagles 1789-1810 completed Resistance: Fall of Man - An Oral History |
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30-10-2003, 06:14
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#15 |
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Serf
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Behind you!
Posts: 826
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Very funny! The part with general I-Don't-give-A-Damn's 5000 invincibles made me think how something like that never happens in my game
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Walt Disney had wooden teeth. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. The Sanskrit word for war translates as 'wanting more cows.' For more interesting facts visit the Random facts site
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30-10-2003, 15:25
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CatAARstroph1c moderator
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 3,538
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This is very funny. I like the way you have the dialogue. Keep it coming!
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More spam, you die! Horribly, horribly! |
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30-10-2003, 15:44
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#17 |
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Irken Tallest
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Quasispace
Posts: 5,507
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Excellent!
__________________
"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are...[a] few other Texas oil millionaries, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid." -Dwight D. Eisenhower |
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30-10-2003, 17:16
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#18 |
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Maestro
Demi Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Mobile AL
Posts: 3,522
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May I borrow that catapult for my own merchants? It seems to me it would be a terrific source of motivation!
"Make money for me or... you know the consequences! Gdansk!" "No! Not Gdansk! Anything but Gdansk!" "Hmmmmmm. Anything?" "One catapult ride, coming right up!"
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"That which does not kill me, has made a grave tactical error." - Jerry Pournelle
Seven AARs and a picture, too: Director's Inkwell A Special Providence - An Ongoing Vic/Rev AAR of the Knights Temporal in the Victorian Era, A Tale of The Axe and the Killing Frost +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ |
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30-10-2003, 18:32
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#19 | |
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Lt. General
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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Quote:
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Writer of the Week 30 November - 6 December 2003! Yeah! Go Me!  My EU2 AAR:Poleaxing for Poland or The More Kings Change the More Kings Remain the Sejm |
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31-10-2003, 04:31
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#20 |
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Lt. General
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: On the Battlefield of San Jacinto, 21 April 1836
Posts: 1,280
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Thank you all for the kind words
. It really keeps me motivated and into the project.
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Writer of the Week 30 November - 6 December 2003! Yeah! Go Me! My EU2 AAR:Poleaxing for Poland or The More Kings Change the More Kings Remain the Sejm |
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