Steam often take a little longer to put the patches out than those who are using hardcopy/gamersgate download versions of the game. Since you can only (directly) patch Steam copies through their downloader, it follows that if they haven't put the patch out, taking it up with Paradox won't help. You would need to speak to Steam.
There does seem to be a perpetual issue with this, and it (possibly) resulting in a different checksum.
The Paradox connect issue is, I would imagine partially due to it being the weekend. I would expect it to come up as ready during the coming week.
Also, it's two different teams altogether, and I seriously doubt the EU3 team has much of a focus on achievements rather than the core game itself. Makes sense, but can be frustrating.
That's a completely unfair assumption, I paid for the game just like everyone else. Only problem is I can't find the box for my EU3 disks, and it appears registering those disks is what is needed to access that forum that you linked to.
Well, there is no way to prove this, so you will have to wait for the fix. Just buy the core EU3, online it's cheap. If you did not purchase it, I think it's fair to have to wait a few days or a week.
Also, the game and it's DLC are only available online, so there wouldn't be "disks", and you'd have infinite access to the cd key. And I doubt you would have imported Chronicles, as you said you have updated the game before (Chronicles is already at v5.0). So, there is really no excuse.
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