Suenik the Beleaguered - a None Too Serious AAR
- Thread starter iain_a_wilson
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I think little baby Mira is the one who does him in. She cralls behind Krikor II, he trips, and falls backwards into the well. Yep that one. Or maybe there are sharks with frickin' lasers involved. I'm not sure which. :wacko:
Excellent update! Imperial muffins, hobbit Croations - who could ask for more?
Oh - and an assassination attempt. If Krikor survives, I think it should send him over the edge, into a paranoid frenzy of counter-measures.
I think his death will come from a surfeit of vowels caused by all those western European names.
Oh - and an assassination attempt. If Krikor survives, I think it should send him over the edge, into a paranoid frenzy of counter-measures.
I think his death will come from a surfeit of vowels caused by all those western European names.
Kaiser Muffins?
In PLURAL??? OhMyJazzTobacco!
*CK message of insanity pops up*
Blabberblabberblabber!
In PLURAL??? OhMyJazzTobacco!
*CK message of insanity pops up*
Blabberblabberblabber!
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Fantastic update. I have to agree with Bingo Brett; it has to be baby Mira who arranged the assassination attempt!
Yaay Fanservice. Now have Krikor break his jaw on one
Maybe if the assassination succeeds or he becomes severely wounded, it's done with an Emperor Muffin?
Anyone else want CK2? http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?p=11267836&posted=1#post11267836
Thought so. And yes, it is genuine
Thought so. And yes, it is genuine
Feedback to follow!
I might be getting on in years, but it'll take more than a couple of wet-behind-the-ears assassins to take down the Emperor of Greater Suenik! A couple of swift slices from my sword and my assailaints are no more.
Oddly, The Red Messiah seems to believe that it was through her intervention that I was saved, but I'm pretty certain that I didn't see her in my room when I was fighting for my life. Therefore, I feel that I am entirely justified in telling the stupid woman to go and chase herself.
She doesn't take it well and gets all depressed.
I probably don't help the situation by telling her that I couldn't care less.
She pouts and tells me that she's going to live with her Rurikovich cousins where her talents will be appreciated.
I have no idea who these people are, but if they appreciate the likes of Alexandra I can only assume that they're destined for bad things.
(AAR Crossover Moment of the Week - she did in fact go north and become a courtier in some Rurikovich controlled county - I can only assume that one of Harry's minions planted her...)
As the wet, meaty remains of the assassins are swept off the flagstones of my bedchamber my herald brings me two pieces of good news.
Firstly, that the rebellious little count of Ikonion is back in the fold.
Secondly, that some Cretens want to join the Empire.
Naturally they are welcomed with open arms. I have nothing against Cretens.
However, just as I am about to launch the Empire into "Celebrate with all your heart for your Emperor still lives!" week (it's a new national holiday) word arrives that somewhere called Avhaz has taken to hassling my vassals.
Although there are calls for Suenik's "invincible" Emperor to take to the field and vanquish the army personally (I sometimes wish my PR people weren't quite so exhuberant) I leave it in the capable hands of my vassals.
Just as I leave my vassals to administer a nice, royal smiting to the rebllious Bishop of Hainaut (I had to have the Imperial Cartographer point it out on the map to me - it's in some place called "the Low Countries" - what an odd name).
It seems though, the I am destined to be drawn to the battlefield.
This time, I've had enough. Those damn Bogomils need to be shown once and for all who is the damn ruler of this Empire! I will not have religious policy dictated to me by a bunch of unwashed heretics with a stupid name!
Fair odds I am sure you'll agree.
Time for Suenik's "invincible Emperor" to do his thing.
*TWANG*
ARGH! Nobody told me that they were actually armed with actual weapons! I assumed that it would be all pitch forks and torches! Arrows really bloody hurt!
Get me off this battlefield NOW!
As I am resting I receive news that the rebels have been suitably slaughtered and that the Shiek of Avhaz has realised the error of his ways and has joined with the One True Empire.
I also receive a visitor.
Alexandra.
She's returned from visiting her cousins and has decided that she's a "lot better now"...
Apparently spending time with the Rurikovich's has convinced her that what she considered to be maddness was complete child's play compared to what they got up to...
It's a shame that she's better as I am feeling REALLY unwell after that tussell with those rebels. I could REALLY do with some kind of messiah figure right now to dole out some faith healing. In fact, I feel bloody awful. I...
*THUD*
What now for Suenik? What will Krikor's heir be like? Will the Empire fracture? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Suenik - Land of the Beleaguered!
SUENIK THE BELEAGUERED
CHAPTER 79 - ASSASSINS? PAH!
(1184-1185)
CHAPTER 79 - ASSASSINS? PAH!
(1184-1185)
I might be getting on in years, but it'll take more than a couple of wet-behind-the-ears assassins to take down the Emperor of Greater Suenik! A couple of swift slices from my sword and my assailaints are no more.
Oddly, The Red Messiah seems to believe that it was through her intervention that I was saved, but I'm pretty certain that I didn't see her in my room when I was fighting for my life. Therefore, I feel that I am entirely justified in telling the stupid woman to go and chase herself.
She doesn't take it well and gets all depressed.
I probably don't help the situation by telling her that I couldn't care less.
She pouts and tells me that she's going to live with her Rurikovich cousins where her talents will be appreciated.
I have no idea who these people are, but if they appreciate the likes of Alexandra I can only assume that they're destined for bad things.
(AAR Crossover Moment of the Week - she did in fact go north and become a courtier in some Rurikovich controlled county - I can only assume that one of Harry's minions planted her...)
As the wet, meaty remains of the assassins are swept off the flagstones of my bedchamber my herald brings me two pieces of good news.
Firstly, that the rebellious little count of Ikonion is back in the fold.
Secondly, that some Cretens want to join the Empire.
Naturally they are welcomed with open arms. I have nothing against Cretens.
However, just as I am about to launch the Empire into "Celebrate with all your heart for your Emperor still lives!" week (it's a new national holiday) word arrives that somewhere called Avhaz has taken to hassling my vassals.
Although there are calls for Suenik's "invincible" Emperor to take to the field and vanquish the army personally (I sometimes wish my PR people weren't quite so exhuberant) I leave it in the capable hands of my vassals.
Just as I leave my vassals to administer a nice, royal smiting to the rebllious Bishop of Hainaut (I had to have the Imperial Cartographer point it out on the map to me - it's in some place called "the Low Countries" - what an odd name).
It seems though, the I am destined to be drawn to the battlefield.
This time, I've had enough. Those damn Bogomils need to be shown once and for all who is the damn ruler of this Empire! I will not have religious policy dictated to me by a bunch of unwashed heretics with a stupid name!
Fair odds I am sure you'll agree.
Time for Suenik's "invincible Emperor" to do his thing.
*TWANG*
ARGH! Nobody told me that they were actually armed with actual weapons! I assumed that it would be all pitch forks and torches! Arrows really bloody hurt!
Get me off this battlefield NOW!
As I am resting I receive news that the rebels have been suitably slaughtered and that the Shiek of Avhaz has realised the error of his ways and has joined with the One True Empire.
I also receive a visitor.
Alexandra.
She's returned from visiting her cousins and has decided that she's a "lot better now"...
Apparently spending time with the Rurikovich's has convinced her that what she considered to be maddness was complete child's play compared to what they got up to...
It's a shame that she's better as I am feeling REALLY unwell after that tussell with those rebels. I could REALLY do with some kind of messiah figure right now to dole out some faith healing. In fact, I feel bloody awful. I...
*THUD*
What now for Suenik? What will Krikor's heir be like? Will the Empire fracture? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Suenik - Land of the Beleaguered!
Stupendously brilliant stuff as always, Mr. Wilson, though the Greater Suenikian-German Empire must surely break into two or more pieces at this point, now that it's no longer led by the greatest, most courageous man who made men like Charlemagne look like pansies in comparison and who was just slightly less fantastic than Jesus Christ.
Oh no! What now after the death of Krikor-the-accidental-conqueror-of-half-the-world? Another Armenian? A German?
A very bloody civil war?
A very bloody civil war?
Wow, that was quite an abrupt end for Krikor, I mean, we all expected him to die by the hand of an assassin, and some probably guessed that he would die in this update, but not like this!
Krikor was descending into madness quite nicely. He reminded me of Rinzwind somehow ..
I think Mira will manouvre herself into a position of power now though. This is her chance..
I think Mira will manouvre herself into a position of power now though. This is her chance..
Ah, Krikor finally gave his pipe to St. Martin...
Err.... What?