Bourbonnais: The last straw for Daniel's sanity?
Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!
Daniel grunted, but finally came to. "Is it time already?"
Sure is, sleepy head. I hope you haven't forgotten our... heh heh... wager.
"I have never once gone back on my word, Chaos, and I do not intend to start now."
Chaos rubbed his hands together.
Excellent! To give you a sporting chance, I've made you the Duke of Bourbonnais. I forget your name, but to be honest, it probably won't matter. Still, you'll have a chance to run things rather than simply spend the first year just trying to get power.
"Uh, thanks. What's the map and the mission?"
Coming right up, boss!
"That's not too bad. Hey, we're allied to Burgundy! That's good, right?"
Sure it is, if that's what you'd like to think.
Daniel frowned. "You aren't going to be any help at all, are you?"
Well, normally I don't do this, but I'm going to throw you one more bone.
"Great."
No calamity this time; you get Bourbonnais in all of its natural power and glory. No hitches. When you fail, it will be on your own merit. Well, to be more precise, the complete lack of merit.
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Daniel was sweating bullets, and it was already 1462. He'd made one very savvy move -- a move towards quality, which got him a pretty awesome 6 star Commandant.
That, of course, was the last good thing that would happen to Daniel in Bourbonnais.
You'll need to make a move, loser. The clock's a-tickin'.
"Hey, the idea of inheriting France was pretty slick, you have to admit."
You have -31 prestige! Oh, and since Bohemia already claimed the throne, claiming it yourself would have had exactly one effect: a succession war with Bohemia. I do not think you could win that war.
"At least I ditched Burgundy!"
Yes, but even a TPM is three times better than an OPM. And now you have no friends.
"I have one last plan. It's my only hope to get out of this alive. Possibly literally."
I'm all ears! Of course, properly speaking I don't have ears, since I'm non-corporeal at this point. However, I think the metaphor still works, if you but give it a chance.
"I'm going to buy off Provence, make them my ally, and then crush another OPM!"
An intriguing plan. I can't wait to see how that goes.
A few minutes later...
"Impossible?! Why?"
They're already allied with Bohemia and three OPMs; why would they ally with you?
Daniel sighed. "Of course, I've already committed to the war."
Oh, and one more thing... Bohemia is the senior partner in a PU with France. Have fun!
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As Daniel wept, Chaos rejoiced. He'd won the bet! Not only did Provence honor their commitment to Berry, but they called in Bohemia, who called in France. Thus, we see this balance sheet:
The outcome was assured before the first shot was fired.
As Chaos made preparations for the next country, he took a moment to scan Daniel's mind. He grinned. He was beginning to crack under the strain. Best of all, Daniel was forced to watch as Chaos gleefully possessed him, body and soul, for the next ten years.
And he'd do so in... Würtemburg!
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I feel kind of guilty that this update was so short, but to be honest, only through sheer dumb luck would I have gained a single province. I was pretty much doomed the moment Bohemia PUed France. We'll see how Chaos does in the driver's seat on the next installment!