Chapter 11: Accursed Color Thieves!
August 1618: Syria grabs Judea from Oman, painting a bulls-eye on their backs for later. Hedjaz wants me to help them against Persia -- I've got no problem with smacking Persia around a little, but at minimum, it'll be a -2 stab hit, and I prefer to avoid stab hits whenever possible. Sorry Hedjaz.
September 1618: I fund nationalists in Malwa, mostly to deprive Maharasthra of another province for when I finally finish annexing the rest of their country.
October 1618: I don't want their territory yet, and the cost for demanding tribute is absurdly huge (250%?!?), so I settle for a concession of defeat from the Mongol Khanate.
December 1618: Parma collapses. As an aside, there's just an insane amount of Italian colonization in DW, which is a nice touch. Parma, Savoy, and Naples have all done very well for themselves in the New World (along with Burgundy).
February 1619: Starting a huge binge of manufactory buying, Perm starts construction on my favorite manufactory, the Weapons Manufactory. Polotsk gets one too. Chernigov is next after that, followed by Kharkov. I had a whole lot of money to blow
[For the record, the only manufactories I usually build are Weapons and Universities, since you still need magistrates to make buildings.]
July 1619: Iron in Nerchinsky.
August 1619: I hire a 6* production efficiency guy. What are they called again? I forgot to get a screenshot
We find a vein of Copper in Udinsky -- I love how much copper and iron Russia gets.
September 1619: Whether my spy helped or not, I don't know, but Maharasthra collapses, creating Sind and Malwa. I'm going to take credit for it anyway.
October 1619: Some jerks tarnish the reputation of my leader. Apparently, if I execute them, I get a stab hit. This
is Russia -- I should get a stab hit if I
don't execute them. I'll take the 1 point of infamy instead, though. Newly created Sind wants access to my markets (presumably Kutch) -- I say the more, the merrier!
December 1619: A new NI -- Colonial Ventures.
January 1620: Kuznetsk cores.
February 1620: Oirat Horde breaks free from Ming. I've got 20,000 Russian troops one province away. What to do, what to do. [The Oirat Horde is unusually persistent in this game; they reform three or four more times, and get eaten by me each time. It's actually kind of sad and inspiring at the same time.]
March 1620: Korea kicks Maharasthra when they're down for cash and treaty annulment. Given that they couldn't have invaded (I would have noticed), I wonder how they got the war score? Blockades, maybe?
May 1620: Vijayanagar and Gakwar warn me. I love how the only countries that warn me are the ones that have very little chance at stopping me. Rajputana wants into Kutch's market -- let them try, I say! I also get tribute from Oirat Horde -- I don't take any provinces this time, since I'm still worried about Ming, for some reason. [If I were to play this game again, I would be
way more aggressive, particularly in the East.]
June 1620: Orleans, the Holy Roman Emperor if you recall, decides to act Imperial by DOWing Great Britain. Oh dear.
July 1620: Repnin is re-elected.
August 1620: The Ottomans collapse -- without Thrace, they are nothing, it would seem.
January 1621: Ufa converts, but at this rate, I'm getting more non-Orthodox provinces faster than I can convert them.
February 1621: Tomsk cores.
August 1621: Thrace converts, making it even more profitable.
November 1621: Bohemia insults me, right after White Peace with Castille. I do nothing about it, mostly because of my self imposed restrictions about moving farther West. They've got one province I want -- Volhynia -- because it's part of modern day Ukraine and thus part of the Russian Empire. I'll wait until I get a mission or at least border friction to grab it.
April 1622: Samara converts. Not as exciting as Thrace, but hey, I'll take it. Bohemia takes a beating from GB (trade dispute), losing two Ottoman provinces (Angora and Konya) and being forced to release Galicia. They also pay some cash. If Galicia lasts very long, I don't see it.
August 1622: To spite Burgundy (seriously, I think close to the end of the game I'm going to come after them hard), I start rebellions in Sind. They're put down, but I'd like to think I made Burgundy's day a little bit more irritating. Staying with India, I sell two of the provinces I got from Maharasthra that I had no intention of keeping -- Goa (to Vijayanagar) and Konkan (to Khandesh). They're not valuable and until I get a land connection to India, they aren't likely to be worth investing in either. I can always take them back later.
September 1622: Some farmers come out of a cornfield and build a constable in Kurgan (Field of Dreams reference?). This is a nice new event in DW -- I wonder what triggers it?
December 1622: Naval Supplies in Jugjur. Alimuly converts, knowing that with their precious naval supplies, holding out against Orthodoxy is no longer lucrative.
January 1623: More iron for Russia, this time in Albazinsky.
February 1623: QK defects from Persia. It's a horde. WAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
A screenshot! (Don't worry, I'll have the max 20 in this one before all is said and done).
June 1623: War with the Kazakhs. Yeah, not worthy of a screenshot.
July 1623: Uralsk converts. Butalsk will produce copper; I'm easily world leader in Copper and Iron, production anyway. The new DW bonuses are just for trade though, and I gain and lose them all the time as I gain and lose merchants.
October 1623: Mongol Khanate gets restless, declares war. I'm now at war with three hordes simultaneously.
December 1623: Bogujtar converts.
February 1624: Minsk gets in on the whole conversion thing.
May 1624: Mangyshlak cores.
July 1624: I decide to replace Repnin, who isn't exactly an inspiring leader. Sergei Shein is the new Posadnik, and at 9/6/4, he can stay that way.
December 1624: Yeniseysk cores.
January 1625: Estland cores.
May 1625: To make it an even four hordes, Chagatai defects and subsequently unofficially DOWs.
June 1625: Preferring prime numbers (5, in this case), Oirat Horde joins the party.
July 1625: Brandenburg becomes HRE -- it pretty much stays that way for the rest of the game. Orleans must have taken a beating from GB.
July 1625: Salt crisis -- -1% to production efficiency. DW is good at integrating trade goods more into the game -- it's no longer something I ignore, for the most part.
September 1625: Murgan defects. One horde down, four to go. I get production tech 24, which means Mints, the level four production building. Thrace gets one immediately, then more in other provinces, sorted by tax value.
October 1625: I want to clean up some of these wars -- zipping around the map makes my heart hurt
I demand tribute from Oirat Horde. Three more wars to go.
April 1626: Land 27, and gallop cavalry. I'm initially hesitant about taking them, since they don't have any fire pips, but the morale and shock upgrades convince me. It doesn't really matter how your cavalry kills the enemy in overwhelming numbers in the end, I guess.
June 1626: Fish in Udskoye -- I don't have very much fish in the Russian Republic. I'm not sure it matters (the bonus for fish is something minor, like a naval maintenance modifier), but hey, diet diversification can only be good for the Russian people. Copper is found in Yakutsk, which is more the norm for new Siberian provinces.
July 1626: Move towards free subjects -- I get the -2.00 inflation event. This is literally the first time in the entire game I've gotten something good from a slider move.
April 1627: I move my NF to Thrace, so I can do this:
Despite being non-cored and non-Russian culture, Thrace now immediately becomes my most valuable province. I'm going to include my most valuable provinces in the next SotR so you can see how awesome Thrace is.
November 1627: Sayan cores.
December 1627: Manchu is eaten by Korea. About this time I start recognizing that Korea might just be more of a threat (as far as any non-European nation is) to me than Ming. Jasagdu defects from Mongol Khanate and I hire a 3* production tech investment guy. I give M K a break and settle for tribute at this stage.
July 1628: Time to wipe out Maharasthra once and for all!
I'm now at war with most of India. 30k Russian troops against India? I like those odds!
When Shein comes up for re-election, I let him stick around -- 9 admin rulers don't grow on trees.
August 1628: The first Indian state to fall is Gakwar.
Bihar and an Indian minor decide to send an army to slow me down -- it doesn't work.
September 1628: Land Tech 28 means new troops -- I choose Gustavian Infantry.
October 1628: Rajputana sees its army disappear. It's magic!
(No screenshot, but I killed nearly 10k troops in one battle with no casualties. W00t!)
Gakwar, my now loyal vassal, becomes my ally. They have no army, so I don't call them.
December 1628: Sind, an OPM, joins the war.
January 1629: Dzungaria defects -- exit Chagatai.
This is how powerful tech is -- I'm hugely outnumbered and barely break a sweat.
Khandesh begs for white peace and I accept. It wasn't even their army! Sind and Rajputana come begging for mercy and white peace. Because I'm a complete idiot, I accept. See, in my giddiness over my victories, I forgot Rajputana was alliance leader. I still don't have Dadra, the whole reason I started the war. Kids, this is the danger of playing Russia -- too much territory and wars going on in ten different directions. That's at least five more years of waiting.
I'm so mad that when Bulgaria calls me into war against Byzantium, I come in guns a-blazing.
June 1629: Byzantium is a joke at this point. I probably could have taken some territory at this point, but I get cute and decide to let somebody convert people for a change. Plus, it's just not right to see a Sunni Byzantium.
I also get a little cash and release Epirus.
September 1629: Operation: Suck up to Switzerland begins again. I find out they'll never join an alliance with me again, so I give up. Ungrateful Swiss, after all I've done for you!
Korea DOWs Ming. Yeah, Korea is definitely the East Asian powerhouse in this game.
November 1629: Since I'm oppressing the Siberians (I guess?), they revolt. They are dispatched with.
December 1629: Kaffa cores.
April 1630: Copper is produced in Okhotsk.
October 1630: Once they find out I have more copper, the Oirat Horde declares war for my sweet, sweet copper. It's copper-tastic! (Since there really are no DOWs with hordes, per se, I like making up my own.)
February 1631: Alimuly cores.
March 1631: Ming loses to Korea, gives up cores, releases Mongol Khanate as a vassal, and releases Vientane as an independent state. Ming isn't in full collapse yet, but I can see the writing on the wall.
April 1631: Syria and Styria have a white peace. What's a little "tea" between friends? [If my pun causes you to desert my AAR en masse, I understand. Even I'm ashamed of that one.]
July 1631: The single most awesome event that Colonial Ventures produces, and it only fires once for me the whole game (so far).
May 1632: Core on Burgundian Sind via Boundary Dispute. One of these days, Burgundy. When the time is just right... WHAM! KNIFE IN THE BACK!
July 1632: Shein, or "Shein-y" as his closest friends know him, is re-elected.
August 1632: Fur in Kamnuskoye. Fur may be murder, but it's
lucrative murder.
Kachinsk cores.
November 1632: Vilna converts.
December 1632: Mongol Khanate is mad I haven't sent them an Xmas present yet. I point out Orthodox Christmas is in January, and then further point out that they aren't Christian, but my logic only infuriates them into war.
Apparently, researching trade is heresy, so I have to forget what we've learned, perhaps a la memory eraser from Men in Black. Better than a stab hit.
January 1633: My colonial company in Tauisk discovers more Fish.
June 1633: Naval Tech 23 and Galleons. I don't start building a fleet now, but I will soon.
August 1633: Government 27 means I can build Cathedrals (who cares?), adopt Absolute Monarchy (never! I will always listen to my people!), and construct a Glorious Monument. If there's a country that deserves one, it's Russia, and I build one in Moskva.
February 1634: For what I swear is the last time, I declare war on Maharasthra, again, for Dadra.
I also sphere Gakwar. Shouldn't they automatically be part of my sphere as vassals?
April 1634: Gujarat joins the prestigious Russian Vassal in India Club. Members of the RVIC get fabulous benefits including:
-- Not being annexed by Russia
-- Getting to beat up their fellow Indians
-- Free vodka!
-- The finest imported Siberian snows!
And so forth.
May 1634: Finally, the clever trickery and witchcraft of Maharasthra fails to distract me and it is part of Russia. I said I'd do it, and it's taken me nearly thirty years, but I did it.
August 1634: I think briefly about pressing on -- I want that connection to the rest of Russia -- but my infamy's really high, so Rajputana accepts white peace.
December 1634: It's time to move the embassy again, I guess, so now it's in Thrace.
Brandenburg tries the Orleans tactic of DOWing GB. I hope they have better luck.
February 1635: I hire a 3* diplomat. From
Burgundy. Yeah, those Burgundian jerks
would know how to get out of infamy faster...
August 1635: Hovd defects (from Kazakh). Enraged, Iraq DOWs me, bringing along quite an array of countries, including Baluchistan, the Ottomans, The Mamluks, and Adal.
They've got one great province (and are somehow alliance leader), Azerbaijan, and it just so happens that's as far south in the Caucasus as I want to expand (that's more or less the right border).
October 1635: Syria lets me cut through their territory on the way to finishing off Iraq.
January 1636: Dzungaria converts.
February 1636: The Ottomans peace out (white peace). I'd like to pick up the other territories for the Bosphorus Sound Toll, but I've only got enough infamy for one province now, I think. (Why yes, I did forget that Holy War is a mutual CB and the provinces only cost me one infamy. Why do you ask?)
March 1636: Government 28 and Republican Dictatorship. Never!
April 1636: Malwa warns me.
June 1636: Naval Supplies from Deren -- ironically enough, the only naval supplies province that Novgorod starts with -- Vetluga -- in fact does not touch the ocean.
July 1636: Mamluks white peace out. "Shein-y" is re-elected.
August 1636: Norway warns me.
December 1636: Khiva converts.
January 1637: Urumqui defects from Oirat Horde.
Azerbaijan is acquired from Iraq and the war ends. The best exit strategy is to know what you want, take it, and leave
Perm is delighted and converts to Orthodoxy.
August 1637: Heated Debates over my infamy go on throughout parliament. I give them 50 ducats to shut up; I lose 3 infamy. Talk about win-win!
April 1638: We strike grain in Saghalian Ouda.
May 1638: Khawarzam and Kara Kum core.
November 1638: Austria DOWs Bohemia. Yes! Kill each other in huge quantities!
January 1639: Sayin Noyan defects from Mongol Khanate. Fun fact: I've been at war with the Kazakhs for 16 years now, have already killed their entire army, but they've been occupied the entire time by another country (Khorasan).
I build a War College in Novgorod to commemorate my many victories. It's important to remember your roots!
May 1639: Tshiyet Noyan defects, as the Mongol Khanate disappears from the map again.
June 1639: I apparently win the naval race with Burgundy. Here was my plan. 1) Get mission. 2) Ignore it. 3) Burgundy loses her navy. 4) Profit.
The new mission is to conquer Argyn. Another one I can get by waiting, since as soon as Khorasan is done with Kazakh, I can take it. I get a free core for doing it.
August 1639: Today's random warning of the week winner is: :
pens envelope::
Khandesh! Your prize? Either destruction by the Russian army or nothing at all!
December 1639: Even more copper, this time from Suntar Khayat.
March 1640: Fish in Sakhalin. Now Khorsan and Kokkand warn me. This intrigues me, because both of them border me and Kokkand is a dirty color thief.
September 1640: Agricultural revolution = 2 base tax in Kulunda and 100 ducats. I love this event!
November 1640: Kuruk Tag defects, ending the Oirat Horde (for now...)
I notice that GB has occupied Livland. Now look, Great Britain. Until now, you were cool. You did your thing and I did mine. Don't cross me.
December 1640: Irkutsk cores and I get a slider move. One step narrowminded. Imereti turns Reformed as a result. That's one of the weakest consequences I've ever seen for a slider move. Not that I'm complaining.
I pass the Licensing of the Press Act (+1 to Narrowminded and Serfdom, -6% stability cost, -3 max infamy) and Russian Patriarchate (-5 to maximum war exhaustion) as a result.
January 1641: Croatia wants me to join a clusterf*ck of a war. No thanks, best of luck to you for starting a stupid war you probably won't win.
April 1641: Murgan converts.
Also, Kazakh pays tribute to Khorasan (giving up one minor province), so I start occupying them myself.
August 1641: Khiva and Bukhara core.
Burgundy and GB white peace it out, so GB stays out of Livland (Riga is a vassal of Burgundy. BURGUNDY!!!!!!!!!!!). I wonder if I could ally with them? I make a mental note to try, but forget to make a mental note to check my mental notes. In fact, I'm just remembering it now. I'll try when I get back into the game.
September 1641: Bosnia is now Croatia's vassal. Good for you, Croatia.
October 1641: France collapses! It gives me a chuckle to see that, even though they've been an OPM for half the game, it seems like.
November 1641: Rajputana is picked on by Korea for some treaties and a little cash.
January 1642: I take a look at Kutch. It should be a hugely productive province, but distant overseas is killing it (-90% to tax value!). I really need the land bridge.
Infamy is down. I'm getting bored. It's time for color war!
Khiva, Baluchistan, Hedjaz, and Khorasan all join the party -- Baluchistan is alliance leader.
I send a spy to Sind again, trying to get Burgundy out. Stupid Burgundy.
Iraq warns me. Didn't they learn the last time? They DOW shortly afterward, since they were already allied with Baluchistan. That was a waste of a diplomat.
February 1642: The farmers in the cornfield are at again -- now Obdorsk has its very own constable.
June 1642: Baluchistan offers white peace. Sure, just let me get my pen -- hey, wait a minute! You're not going to get me like Rajputana did. The color thief must be exterminated!
July 1642: See what I mean? You can hardly tell they're occupied by me.
Victory!
The cowardly, inferior, puke-like green of Kokkand is replaced by the patriotic and glorious puke-green of Russia. That'll teach 'em!
Hedjaz wants out, I agree.
September 1642: Ming makes Qin a vassal.
November 1642: I really wanted to annex Khiva, but I can't (too much infamy), so instead they become the charter members of the Central Asian Russian Vassals Club, or CARVC. They don't get the vodka, because they're Sunni, but otherwise they enjoy all the benefits of the Indian Chapter of the Russian Vassals Club, plus getting to stick it to Persia every now and again.
Later on, I add Nadym, the province that Khorasan took from the Kazakhs.
Baluchistan white peaces out, ending the war and this update.
I'll have one more update tonight or tomorrow, followed by the State of the Republic for 1650.