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Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



30 Kilometers to Hostilities​


“A warning to the people, the good and the evil, war is upon us! This is not a war for the weak minded and ill spirited; this is a war for the survival of this great nation! A warning to the prophet, the liar, the honest, this is a war that you will be disgraced! With this grand war we seek to establish the superiority of this great nation that is the Benelux and establish a brand new world for ourselves!” proclaimed an article within the national newspaper that felt directed towards me. I am a prophet, I seek to be honest as one that can be, but my words may be misinterpreted by those who wish to portray me wrongly.

But nevertheless, this article is pure blasphemy! I may be against the wars of aggression my great brothers and sisters, but there are three nations that prove to be an exception! The Frogs, the Black Eagles and the Old Eagles are imperialistic countries that ought to be brought to their knees as often as possible. We as a great and resilient people know what happened when the Austrians ruled this land. We have witnessed the oppressions of the French during most of our lifetimes. We shall never witness the dreams of Prussian state which wishes to impose an economic union upon this nation. A new age of history has arisen, the history of the Benelux I say!

Sadly war always seems to through cruel realities into the face of the most pure at heart. To simply say to those weak minded and dastardly fools of the previous day’s article, sometimes an enemy of my enemy is my friend. This saying can be no truer than the current situation itself. Simply put, we alone, with our great power cannot defeat the second greatest power in the world; which is hard to believe is the Frogs of France. In these days of harsh reality my friends, the king’s dastardly moves of allying ourselves with the Spanish, Portuguese and Prussians seems to have paid off. But what is this? Treachery at its highest [and not highly unexpected by cowards of the worst degree]!

Cowardly Spanish people, your empire is from a bygone era! Your throne is coveted by an imposter! Critics within this great nation blasted the great king’s decision to ally you with the claim you would only use the great Benelux for your own pursuit! In the end it turns out, these critics were right. In one of the Benelux’s greatest moments of need, you leave us to the dust! Revenge shall be ours, but the hour is not right. Right now, the Black Knights, the Portuguese and we have a Frog to croak!


March 1st, 1837 - War is declared. France versus the Benelux, Prussia and Portugal.​



Bonus Question: What four songs was I listening to when writing this update?

Hint: While it may be four songs, there are only two artists.
 
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Frogs versus the Black Knights [sorry mentioned as eagles in last update], the Portugese and the Benelux.
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Leap to Lille-pad​



Ode to the Frog, the mascot of the French Empire; quite pathetic if you ask the opinion of myself, a magnificent designer of symbols and coat of arms that I am. Why not a beautiful lion of the mighty people of the Benelux? Why a Frog? I understand that the legs may be good, but please! Perhaps as we march through the countryside of your once great nation on the road to Paris [which our king is sure to transform into a railroad] we shall find out.

My great brothers and sisters, the first battle between our manly lions and the sickly Frogs would occur in a town that we know as Cambrai, just across our unfortified border. Why do we a nation that is between often two warring nations not have a fortified border? Nevertheless then, that is a question for another rambling [that I always seem to be quite capable of, though with varying degrees of sanity]. The first battle would turn to become a victory for the great nation we are. “The general of the battle of Cambrai is victorious!” shouted the town crier one day. “Who is he?” I desperately asked the crier, for news is always a plentiful resource. “General,” he responded. “Does the general not have a name? I responded. “Why yes, he is a general.” This conversation continues for many hours my friends, how can a general of this great nation not have a name? Perhaps a word with the king is needed.


The Battle of Cambrai, beginning March 5th, ending March 16th. During this battle the 1st Cavalry; reinforced the initial Beneluxian army on March 9th. Initially there was no named general leading the Beneluxian army.​

Not two days of bitter war passed my brothers before this great nation took a leap into two dual engagements at Lille, then at Metz near the Frog-Black Knight border. Quite strangely how the magic of the world seems to work my friends back home [who proclaim to be more intelligent than an esteemed figure such as myself. Who has written more books I say? I thought so!] Reports that I have received from the sources that shall not be named, indicate both battles began on the great day of March 7th, and both ended on March 18th. Even more peculiar my brothers, is I believe this is a conspiracy here! The first battle of the war lasted exactly eleven days, the second and third battles of the war lasted exactly eleven days! Perhaps the king spoils us with lies of victory? An inquiry into this madness must begin!


The twin battles of Lille and Metz, beginning March 7th and ending March 18th.​

A black indeed! A black day indeed! The Black Knights have peacefully arrived into the Benelux. They are not greeted with boos and rotten fruit that history demands! They are greeted with cheers, fresh fruit and even chocolate. What madness! Why oh great people of this great nation do you stoop to the level of praise for an enemy of an enemy? I know the proverb states that an “enemy of my enemy is my friend.” What it does not say is for how long! Nevertheless, perhaps we should praise the fact that for every Black Knight that arrives is one less soldier of this great nation that needs to perish.

I must apologize great people, for my endless rant of you greeting the Prussians with cheers, fresh fruit and chocolate. With my boycott of the idiotic town crier, I failed to realize that on the very day the Prussians arrived in our town, that a great victory had been won at Laon! I’m sure you will all be forgiven for an old man [who is still smarter and more well off] than you! No harm no foul, is that true my brothers and sisters! Cheers to the victory at Laon, our fourth victory against the sickly Frogs!


The victory at the Battle of Laon, March 21st to March 31st. Prussian troops arrive in the Benelux on March 31st.​
 
Since I am a great power and actually about at this time, one point higher than Prussia, I lead the war. Being a generous sap that I am, Prussia may get rewarded for its service.
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Gloom of the Grave​


“You, people of the French Empire, did you form a perfect republic? Establish justice? Insure tranquility, secured the blessings of liberty for yourselves? France, the once mighty empire, is as our Prussians would say is kaput!” I proclaimed vividly one day within the town center, during a celebration of our latest victory of the Frogs; whose spirit was quite pathetic. Reports had reached us here in the relatively safe town, that after two days after the victory at Laon, the 1st Cavalry fought a rear-guard action against another French detachment and won in hand. “How many French men does it take to kill one of Beneluxian soldier?” the saying goes. “One, three, ten!” the children all scream. “No, no my children,” I say with a bit of humor tingling with my voice. “It takes nearly 42 Frenchmen to kill a Beneluxian!”


The Battle of Laon, April 10th - April 21st.​

The dreary months of a European summer chugged on, without little delay in our livelihoods; which is a miracle considering we were at war. To the people of my town one say, I proclaimed “Being on the winning side is the best side!” One man, bless his heart, quickly praised my beautiful words. “Police! Police!” he shouted. “Surely brave soul; you do not need the police to bless me as reward me!” I quickly noticed the looks on the face of the police were not quite right, so I quickly fled as fast as I could run. Why do unintelligent so militant towards myself?

After several days of hiding my brothers; the black smoke of the moods of the citizenry had calmed to acceptable levels, and I returned to bask in the glory of our nation. My long hiding had not changed the fate of the war; still after the months of fighting, the French continued to fight, but with little resistance towards the grand armies we had under our command. Our great nation, and even greater military which was rivaled by none [except the massive hordes of Indians that the British had reportedly had], had occupied most of our border with the French!



The overview of the war zone, as of August 10th, 1837.​

Oh to the Danish, thee have not been well liked since the disgrace of siding with the Frogs during the reign of Napoleon. Perhaps a lesson in history is needed – allying the French is never a good lesson. Justice punishes those who ally the Frog. Losing Norway to the Swedish crown, now losing Schleswig to the Austrians. The Austrians? How did they reach you from a far? [Checks through his reports he received.] Oh dear Danes, as far as we are concerned, at least the Old Eagles did not cross the borders of the Benelux. Farewell brave Danes.
 
Great updates! Thank you, was a nice read :)
Sorry i wasnt able to comment sooner TekcoR.

And thank you for sorting your updates in the chapter list
so i can see which belong to what chapter for the contest :)
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Napoleon Who?​


When one thinks of France, my brothers and sisters, the reign of the tyrannical ruler Napoleon Bonaparte; which thankfully lays dead [only if he was of Beneluxian descent…]. But to inspire to be like the imperialistic France is the dream of our great king! But we come in peace, that is our message. War is forced upon us and we acted; that is what we tell ourselves to keep ourselves safe and comfy at night, when we rest in our beds, trying to fall asleep. And sleep we must [though, that is when I am most active].

When one now thinks of France, the people all must say: “Look at the once mighty nation, now shell of its former self, as the great Benelux has begun to show!” Why yes my brothers and sisters, it is nothing but the truth! We, the great people of this nation have defeated former masters, the Frogs in a war fair and square [Prussia + Benelux = Fair, look it up]. A great day occurred my friends; and all should know of the great date. On December 2nd, 1837, the city of Paris witnessed the marching of Prussian soldiers down its streets. “How did the Black Knight reach Paris?” one may ask. “Well through the Benelux of course!” is the most obvious answer. “And our great king aides the Knights with roads of great steel!”

“The eastern bear has grown!” I proclaim one day, [a slow day, as our war with France has become less and less obvious]. “There are no bears in the Kingdom of Netherlands, Brother Jacobs,” a villager who happens to be the mayor responds. “Perhaps that is true dear Mayor, but there are bears across on the other side of the lands of the Black Knights!” I reply with a great smirk. “Oh Brother Jacobs, why do you refer to the countries of the world by hideous nicknames?” I pondered for a moment. “And why do you oh mayor, not do as I do?” I responded to his question. This conversation carried on for a few hours my friends, and was rather pointless [because we all know I am the only one capable of telling the truth].


The Expansion of the Eastern Bear, creeping closer to the city of Istanbul.​

“The great knife maker has stabbed his way to imperialism,” I proclaimed quite loudly one cool fall day, in the streets of the capital that I was eagerly visiting for a great proclamation was to be announced within a few days. Was this perhaps the great proclamation? “Citizens of this great nation, your king and queen send word to inform you that the nation of Switzerland and the people of Sardinia-Piedmont have reached terms and agreed to peace within our very nation!” A roar of applause was loudly heard. I could only think to myself: ‘How to open a can of sardines, a study knife.’


Switzerland took a slice out of Sardinia-Piedmont.​

As I begin to leave the great ceremony [thinking that the information of peace between the knifes and the cans was the only news to be broken], the announcer pleaded for the crowd to be calm. I turned back as the commotion began to stop, and witnessed the history of our time. “Citizens of this great nation, the king wishes to praise all of thee in this hard fight that has lasted nearly two years, the war against nation of France has ceased. In the peace, we have come to acquire several of France’s colonies in the Caribbean, South America and Africa. Three cheers for the Kingdom of Netherlands!” As the crowd was chanting for the Netherlands, a few could overhear my voice: “Long live the Benelux!”


The territorial gains of the Kingdom of Netherlands [the Benelux] during its war with France.​

 
Thank you for the update again, you took a unique approach to designing your chapters, i like how you did it. :)
Small updates that form a tasty chapter when combined ;)
 
Alexspeed said:
Thank you for the update again, you took a unique approach to designing your chapters, i like how you did it. :)
Small updates that form a tasty chapter when combined ;)
Click to expand...

Think of it as a more history-book-style approach. In every history book that I've read, each chapter has "sub-chapters". I mostly find this format easier to read and less information overload.

Each chapter varies in length also, obviously with more activity / significance of said activity going on, the length increases. With less activity, less length. I appreicate the praise.

And of interesting note, related to the game. I've always seen Saradina-Piedmont declare war on Switzerland for East Switzerland. I've never actually seen them lose! Hail to the true overlords of the world, our benevolent Swiss!
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Strutin Our Stuff​


My brothers and sisters, there always comes a time in a nation’s history when the headlines of war and magnificent victories cease, that time is now. In these times, I wish that young widower of the war would lift up her skirt and just a tad and show off those beautiful high ankles. Talk about a naughty girl, why don’t we throw a party for two? I can serve thee the best chocolate of the nation, while brewing the best drink of the land!

Enough about my affairs of my spectacular [abysmal] love life, I must suffer through great sacrifice to accurately and dimensionally report about the history of the Benelux, one of the greatest road…nations in the history of this planet. Speaking of roads, our king decreed in his absolute power, with a rubber stamp [bribing the upper house with waffles and fruit galore] for the expansion of the railroads throughout important parts of our great colonial empire. “Luckily the railroads do not cross this ocean!” I shouted aloud one day. One has to wander, if nobody is at the town hall when I speak, am I heard?

On a cold day, I believe the day was the first day of the new year, the town crier posted a proclamation at the town hall. With nothing better to do my brothers and sisters, I veered off towards the town hall to write down the contents of the proclamation. “Great people and subjects of the Netherlands,” it began. I quickly walked away from proclamation, had the king not learned that this was the Benelux by now? What a waste to walk from my blistering fire into the unforgiveable freeze. I sacrifice much for this great nation, but to freeze my girth off, is not one I am willing to part with!


Page 1 of 2 of the proclamation, posted January 1st, 1839 at the town hall.



Page 2 of 2 of the proclamation, posted January 1st, 1839 at the town hall.​

It is sad to note my brothers and sisters, the year of 1839 was remarkably unmemorable, for once the king seemed not to make a dastardly decision. Instead, he make a remarkable decision; a tremendously beneficial decision. This great nation would build itself a series of forts along our border with the Frogs; though a series of forts along our border with the Black Knights was ruled out. Progress is progress my friends, even if it may only be considered half hearted [half assed]. I asked the local military command in early October, when the forts began construction of an estimated date for completion. “Why Brother Jacobs,” he said. “The forts will be done soon. In fact they will be done when I said they will be done, not a moment sooner or a moment later.” I nodded at the good military commander, and thought I remembered him from one of my recent trips to Amsterdam. “Is your name Johan by chance?” I asked with a smirk on my face. Sadly my brothers, the commander remained silent.
 
Great Update, thank you TekcoR!

That was really funny with the Forts :D
 
The fort parts were really spur of the moment and somewhat of a calculated risk I think in actually posting them. I feel it is my right as an ancestor of a Dane to remind the Swedes of something every now and then.
 
Beer, Chocolate, Waffles and a Road
A History of the Benelux
by Brother Jacobs



Prussia Won't Play Ball​


Britain won’t kiss and make friends with the Benelux. Spain won’t share in the glory of the Benelux. The Russians are friends with all, it was mentioned in the stall of the latest conference of the great powers. The French beg for forgiveness, and we willingly accept, but the Prussians won’t play ball! Truly a confusing spectacle of that is politics my friends and foes, the world that we live in is utterly confusing [to the unintelligent saps like yourself].

Enough with international politics and the treasonous Black Knights abandoning the Benelux in the moment of glory! Grab onto your horses [if you can afford one] my brothers and sisters and let’s get into Indecision 1840: The Election of the Decade, a showdown of wills between the Sober Group, who has ruled the past 4 years, the Waffle Lovers, a conservative majority and the Chocoholics, liberal group whose mission is to plant flowers in the paths of the Frogs and Black Knights on their way across our border! “Bullets are not stopped by flowers, flowers are quashed by men who fire bullets,” I recently stated to a man who announced to us in this town we reside his intention to represent us at the Parliament. “Why Brother Jacobs,” he said, with his classy monocle giving me the creepers. “This is a town is one of the greatest in the entire Kingdom of the Netherlands, in fact, it should be the capital of the Kingdom.” I nodded as the man so apparently avoided the answer. “And what town is this oh good lord?” I asked with a sign of disgust on my face. “I’ll have the town crier get back to you on that with an update in a few days,” he replied, before boarding his luxurious carriage.

Enough with politics for the year of 1840, let’s see what other events happened throughout the year. ‘Oh waffles! Oh holy waffles!’ I yelled to myself [possibly out loud, again if nobody is around to hear you speak, are you really speaking?]. Oh, here’s something. We signed a military agreement with the Japanese. Oh wait, Japan is no Prussia! Uh, what else happened this year… “Brazil has gone bankrupt!” I randomly shouted from the window of my dwelling one day. The crowds gathered outside paid no attention to me. So much for that story. Hell. What will interest the will of the people then? POLITICS? AW HELL! OH WELL!

Very well then my friends and bastardly foes, if you want politics, you can have them! Those that truly love the country, the Waffle Lovers and the Sober Group won the election and will continue leading this country on its glorious path to destiny! But with what allies you may ask? None others than the French who seek revenge not against us…but the Prussians? As I have said before my brothers and sisters and will most likely say many times more, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So with the French we will keep our hearts this time [though temporarily]. We can only hope that the Frogs can play ball better than the Black Knights.


The results of the election ending in the middle of 1840.​

 
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