If you would like to upload a savegame, I can prove to you that there are almost no wars in your game caused by aggressive war declarations.
I started my current game as Petty King Konan of Breizh in 1066, put down various rebellions after revoking titles, joined an unsuccessful crusade for Jerusalem, Normandy declared war on me which I won thanks to help from the Holy Roman Empire, the Holy Roman Empire asked for my help in a war against England (I agreed), Normandy declared war on me again and I won again, France asked for my help in putting down a revolt (I agreed). Apart from those, I've started a number of wars myself. It's now 1265 AD. Doubtless there should have been more war in the game than there has been, but it hasn't been warless.
Any time there's a shortage of wars, you can occupy yourself playing the marriage game, which is quite interesting if you have the patience (it's slow).
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