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I also think the French.
 
Great AAR, just finished reading it straight from the beginning
 
That came out of my friends video here from a math video competition at our school. Make it rain! :D Kinda confusing, sorry about that. :eek:o

Bah @ the math. Easy.

I wanted to hear more about the Science of the Potatoe. :mellow:

My money's on Portugal. Given your careful and cautious use of manpower up to this point, I don't believe that low reserves would actually stop you declaring war now. A Treaty on the other hand...

Well, it was partially that and partially my current overextension (which was at ~50%). I wanted one war to take as much of Australia as humanly possible!

Restoring the Pentarchy also shuts down the Pope doesn't it? The effect in CK2 is better I think for ending the Great Schism. Just seeing the huge wave of Orthodox change happen across all those Catholic lands...

Still, it could use a little more flavorful text. Increase religious tension in Europe and make something akin to an Orthodox reformation sweep across catholic nations.


I'll go with the French in Australia.

I also think the French.

Those blue, cowardly surrender monkies who had their entire nation fractured by Castile?

That's a toughie... I'm gonna go with... The dutch. I've got no other ideas besides Portugal, but i want to go out into left field.

I agree with the Dutch.

That'd be hilarious. Netherlands controlling a huge swathe of the West Mexican/North American is great in itself though.

Great Britain, because why not?

They have been encroaching on some South Pacific islands...

Great AAR, just finished reading it straight from the beginning

Thanks!

Sorry about the delay in writing a new chapter. At least I managed to finish one this week. In general, I want to keep up a decent pace and finish this AAR by June and finish at least one update a week.



16. April 1715 - 11. November 1721

And the polls are in...

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...AAAANNNNCCCEE!

Now, I am ashamed to admit that I did not cry bloody havoc the moment I saw that, and declared war, but I did have an excuse: I had almost 50% overextension and wanted that to cool down first. In the meantime, I intended to hit Serbia and work it towards a vassalizable form.

Meanwhile, in Greece, a farmer noticed out that bathing himself in the droppings of his animals and then rolling around on his fields increased the crop yield.

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Nobody had the heart to tell him that it wasn't exactly news... or that he wasn't going about it the most efficient way.

Before I could get an invasion of Serbi.. erm, "Liberation of Wallachia" going, Marathas decided to test my patience in February 1716.

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This presented an issue. I had wanted to let Baroda westernize (it was in the progress of doing so) before vassalizing them, so that I could gain more hard power in India that didn't rely on a quasi-vassal not westernizing. They also held cores on Gujarat and Lower Sindh, which I was making a core on myself. Now I was faced with two choices:

- Bloody, tedious: Quickly attack Baroda to prevent Marathas from taking it from me, then hold it long enough for Marathas to WP in frustration. The disadvantage was that I did not know if I could vassalize a nation that was westernizing, so it might all turn out to be pointless.
- Meh: Just let Marathas take it back. I could probably do with just the trade power.

You already know what I chose...

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... But it didn't just end there, as you can see. Knowing that Baroda had cores on Gujarat, and not wanting to risk Marathas declaring it as well, I decided that I could at least take those, while waiting for Marathas to get sick of waiting and WP due to losing warscore due to lack of progress.

Then I noticed my error. Since Naples held all of Gujarat, the warscore clock would not tick in Baroda's favor. This meant that Marathas might keep up the offensive for years and years, giving Naples war exhaustion while keeping Baroda occupied, I mean, "Safe from right-wing extremism".

There was only one solution and on April 1717, I did what had to be done.

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The good news? Yes, you can vassalize a nation that's not even done westernizing.

Wargoal: Beat Marathas into oblivion and demand that they return to be our protectorate, since it had been cancelled the moment, I had to side with Baroda.

Luckily, the people at home were distracted from the fact that Naples just declared war on a nation it had sworn to protect by a new(!) salt crisis.

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You've never seen the true face of human shame, until you've seen an Italian man throw himself on the ground and licking mineral rocks in order to experience that "Salty flavor".

Then I started mauling Marathas.

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With overlords like Naples, who needs enemies?

After destroying their armies, I moved on to sieging all of their provinces. There wasn't much more excitement on that land, but back in Europe I got to cover all Italian culture provinces with level 4 military buildings (meat for the grinder) and paint Europe just a little more purple. I was also culture-converting provinces that were considered colonies in India and New Zealand.

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You might even say that my hold over Europe had been sea-mented at this point.

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I'm so sorry.

Relations with the natives of Vanuatu improved as well... After they invited the local magistrate to share some Kava which gives a nice double dose of chill and potential liver damage.

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Cultural exchanges like these are what makes the Neapolitan World Empire turn around.

While I was busy in India and fretting over overextension, France was slowly picking up the pieces of its last disastrous war.

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When the newly graduated students of Salento came forth from the reality warping field, known to the world as a "University", they would go on to join another known as "Office Work".

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King Carlo did shortly consider making them into gardeners of the royal palace for the pure amusements of it all.

I still felt that declaring France for Australian land would be pointless, before I had at least 80 overextension to spend. However, the truce with Serbia had expired and it was about time for another easy war by early 1719 (while Marathas was not yet completely defeated).

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Of course they made Austria the war leader.

War goals:

Primary
- Liberate Wallachia to be diplo-vassalized
- Take Kosovo, completing an old mission I had left hanging.
Secondary
Take enough provinces to make vassalization possible.

The war would likely drag on, as I could not simply focus on Serbia this time and needed to siege Austrian provinces to bring up war score. Even so, Naples vastly outnumbered its enemies.

In the east, shortly after the declaration against Serbia, the one with Marathas ended, as it returned to the fold.

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And the market uncertainty brought on by the new war triggered another salt crisis!

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Good Orthodox God people, stop eating so much salt. It's bad for your blood pressure!

The initial battles went well and just a few months after the declaration, there was no "Serbian army"

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The carpet sieges of Serbia and Austria continued, and after Austria tried for some token resistance, it accepted my modest demands.

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It did not take long for Wallachia to come to under the suzerainty of Naples.

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Because nothing bad ever happens to our underlings.

In addition, our soldiers had to come and complain about their new gold-and-diamond-plated silk uniforms. Here we go and spend a fortune on fancy new uniforms, and all people do is complain. It almost made Carlo regret halving their rations for four years to pay for it all.

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What do you mean "attracts unwanted attention and ill-suited for war in the Alps during winter?"

I also broke royal arrangements with Poland. They would soon be positive enough to ally again, but Naples had by now found itself in a position where I simply don't need allies anymore. Who needs stupid treacherous allies when you can have docile pet vassals?

Speaking of which, it was time to cull the number again.

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The only good allies are the ones we’re going to annex within the next ten years.

While waiting for my current coring efforts to finish, I considered whom to attack next. Serbia would be the best bet, since I could bring them down enough in size that I might vassalize them soon, but I still had a truce with them...

Then I recalled that there are two kinds of war that don't care for truces:

1: Coalition wars

- and -

2: Wars against protectorates

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Bwahahaha, finally these bloody things work in my favor.

Wargoal:

Vassalize Serbia, and if impossible, bring it down to a size where I would be able to in a following war.

I would have continued the session, but note that a landmark has been reached - 100 years to go, people. Time to bring the pain to France. Three cores will soon be complete and the moment I can vassalize Serbia, I can sell their provinces back. I also intend to start working on Algeria (once Spain is through with it). I will also need to work my way into the Black Sea, where vassalization of Georgia and Crimea should permit me to take most of the land that I need, in order to control all the Mediterranean.

But let's face it. All of these salt crisis had hollowed out the potential of Naples. Despite having reached almost complete inward peace, and expanding outwards to all corners of the world, it makes no difference as long as the food tastes stale. Naples was in decline.

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News of the world

- Muscovy is rejoicing in now being able to vassalize hordes and others. It holds Oslo and parts of South America, thanks to absorbing Norway. However, it still fails in capturing the one province from Lithuania, which would allow it to form Russia.

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- Spain is now warring for a province that was just about to defect to them anyway, thanks to Catholic rebels.

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Arbritary quiz

Results

+3 to fordisbunk, Dennisroos and BogMod

New Quiz Question

Enough of bad news and lack of salt! What are the three next random, positive events, Naples will experience?
 
Impressive, but Spanish Siberia will always have a place next to my heart. (I kept using it jokingly to bug my friends about a vacation to Spanish Siberia. They were France and Scottish GB. I had lousy luck with rulers, ending with the death of a 25 year old king resulting in a PU under France. I almost won that war. But managed to have a battle on the 10% of one oft border provinces that wasn't mountain, even then I starved him with a total blockade costing him -80 a month, even his super build up infrastructure and manufactories couldn't deal with that. I ended up giving him a chunk of India for freedom, thankfully France wasn't an AI. This was pre-1.4, and I had most of everything as colonies and nobody could touch my navies. And when Spain says EVERYTHING in regards to colonies, they mean it. No pesky Portugal as of 1600 either. Best decision ever. We finished with a Big Bang of death in the last year. I won the defensiveness competition with the dam Brits with 325%(Navarra renamed to Nopé) to 315%(Friesland. To those wondering, despite super-Austria, Milan was emperor for the 1600s onwards. Poor HRE.)

Anyways, while its a bit late, have you considered robbing the surviving uncivs? I robbed the Kongo and Mali of about 5000 ducats each. Also, did I see that you haven't bought a march yet? Its one of the most cost effective military buildings out there after armories. Bonus points if you can get it on your Capitol.
 
The next positive event to happen to Naples? Why, my return to this thread, of course! :p

Very glad to say I'm all caught up – and sad to see everything I've missed. Many an exciting thing has happened for Naples since I left, it seems. And she's huge, too! Good going on the whole "expansion" front.

A for the quiz, I'll go for something colonial, something to do with monarch points and something to do with money.
 
Next positive events: god, I forgot them! :p There will be no positive events!
 
poor Serbia, can never get a break :(

They can get a break when the last smoldering ruins of the last 3-4 invasions are firmly in the hands of House Borghese!

Impressive, but Spanish Siberia will always have a place next to my heart. (I kept using it jokingly to bug my friends about a vacation to Spanish Siberia. They were France and Scottish GB. I had lousy luck with rulers, ending with the death of a 25 year old king resulting in a PU under France. I almost won that war. But managed to have a battle on the 10% of one oft border provinces that wasn't mountain, even then I starved him with a total blockade costing him -80 a month, even his super build up infrastructure and manufactories couldn't deal with that. I ended up giving him a chunk of India for freedom, thankfully France wasn't an AI. This was pre-1.4, and I had most of everything as colonies and nobody could touch my navies. And when Spain says EVERYTHING in regards to colonies, they mean it. No pesky Portugal as of 1600 either. Best decision ever. We finished with a Big Bang of death in the last year. I won the defensiveness competition with the dam Brits with 325%(Navarra renamed to Nopé) to 315%(Friesland. To those wondering, despite super-Austria, Milan was emperor for the 1600s onwards. Poor HRE.)

Anyways, while its a bit late, have you considered robbing the surviving uncivs? I robbed the Kongo and Mali of about 5000 ducats each. Also, did I see that you haven't bought a march yet? Its one of the most cost effective military buildings out there after armories. Bonus points if you can get it on your Capitol.

Nice story, its been too long since I was in a mp game. There's little reason to rob anything, I'm making up to 200 ducats a month because of my trade dominance in India. I'm spending a lot of military points building up army buildings everywhere - Italy itself is almost entirely covered in lvl 4-6 buildings and I'm starting to work on Greece and the rest of Europe.

About Marches, I actually built on recently. I held back on doing so because I intended for my every border to be expanded at some point. I don't think I'll ever move into the deeper reaches of France, so I build one in Vaud.

2014-03-09_00001.jpg


The next positive event to happen to Naples? Why, my return to this thread, of course! :p

Very glad to say I'm all caught up – and sad to see everything I've missed. Many an exciting thing has happened for Naples since I left, it seems. And she's huge, too! Good going on the whole "expansion" front.

A for the quiz, I'll go for something colonial, something to do with monarch points and something to do with money.

She will get more huge! The Mediterranean will be a Neapolitan lake! I might form a land link with Indias by the end of the game!

Next positive events: god, I forgot them! :p There will be no positive events!

That's almost likely -_-.



Anyway, I would apologize for the delay in updates, but the fact is that I can't keep up the pace I once did unless I make it to the summer before finishing it - which is getting likely. I will finish it, though. I hate seeing so many AARs in the archives of every game being unfinished.

11. November 1721 - 2. March 1734 part 1/2

The session began with the first great event..

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That's just useless, what are the chances than I'm going to need more ships anytime soon?

And of course, as Serbia burnt under the sieges, it became apparent that it could not be vassalized in a single war. This would delay war with France, since it would impose further constraints based on overextension, until Serbia could be vassalized. The embarrassment was almost too much to bear; Carlo had been cackling through the halls of the Palace for months and now he was the laughing stock of megalomaniac conquerors all over the world.

2014-03-16_00009.jpg


Meanwhile, a group splitting off from the original colony in Tonga (to be renamed) left the original colony to escape from "those other jerks".

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The fact that this doubled the tax (~population) of the island confirmed my long held theory: The people of Naples multiply by some sort of mitosis/spore mechanism,.

By October 1723, I was done mauling Serbia. Since I could not vassalize it, I decided to change my plans: Delay war with France and start working on expansion in the Black Sea region. First step? Liberate former Georgian provinces, convert them and release Georgia itself (and bring Serbia down enough in size to be vassalizable next time).

2014-03-16_00048.jpg


After that: free Crimea from Lithuania and make it my vassal, then turn it on Muscovy.

But yeah, that's right - I'm planning to do a reverse Putin.

Meanwhile, Neapolitan settlers were pollenating new lands in the South Pacific in dire competition with the Dutch.

2014-03-16_00061.jpg


.. Yeah, nothing much happening. Let's just get to the war with Lithuania.

2014-03-16_00070.jpg

Poland also joined Lithuania.

War goals:

Primary:

- Vassalize Crimea
- Bessarbia (Polish Black Sea province)

Secondary:

- Whatever I can get away with. Fronts were a bit too wide and I really just wanted Spain to bow out if possible.

Remember: Overall, the long term goal is to dominate all the lands around the Mediterranean. Crimea and Georgia will allow me to complete the eastern parts except one Polish province.

The first engagements of the war occurred in Castile where I had moved two 42k armies to my vassal, Granada. The Spaniards discovered that there is such a thing as bringing too many big guns.

2014-03-16_00075.jpg


Since Castile had most of its troops in Africa after the Algerian campaign and I had just isolated them with my navy, not much happened on that front after that. Really, the navy just came through for Naples for once. The popular response in Naples was, of course, predictable.

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Ingrates.

The Eastern front offered a little more excitement. Two 42k armies and a hastily assembled ~20k mercenary force took on the Lithuanian offensive.

2014-03-16_00092.jpg

I may have forgotten something in that last battle in Szepes. The important thing is that we won, right?

The war devolved into a carpet siege until Lithuania assembled a new offensive in the spring of 1725.

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Soon, Poland had had enough and ceded their only link to the Black Sea.

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Annoyingly, shortly afterwards in February 1726, Muscovy declared war on Lithuania, which would restrict me from gaining 100% warscore. Obviously, the Headmaster of the Council of Estimation of Approximate Muscovite Aggression had failed in his task and needed to be replaced.

2014-03-16_00159.jpg

The fact that the organization was formed after the declaration and that the Headmaster got a surprisingly nice severance pay for heading an organization that only existed for five hours were kindly overlooked.

I would have kept on the war with Lithuania and Castile regardless in order to demand more concessions, but I received a small reminder that I had forgotten something.

2014-03-16_00169.jpg


All the lands in the Caucasus, the Black Sea and Serbia had added up to a lot of overextension and I had exceeded 100%. I needed to finish this war soon, release Georgia and sell stuff back to Crimea. Thus, in May 1726, this peace was brokered:

2014-03-16_00173.jpg


Afterwards the map was rapidly redrawn:

- Georgia was released and, along with Crimea, got a share of the new land.
- Tripoli and then Tunis were annexed. This resulted in Greek passing below 10%, thus becoming an unaccepted culture.

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In the midst of it all, Carlo bit the dust and Antonio took the throne in August 1726. King Carlo had done well, but it was time for the rule of the Genius God-King, may he rule for at least more than five years.

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His heir, Alberto, was 30 at the time, and that was as old as he would ever be.

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Okay, I may have picked the heartless option, but King Antonio was busy making the seamen of Naples stop swimming in circles. Besides, prestige comes so easy for Naples in this game.

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Then, just when I thought that I would finally be free of Greek influence, I found out that so do new heirs.

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I was utterly convinced that “Achille” was a female name at first.

In the pacific, the Neapolitan settlers had stumbled upon a set of rather silly little bird-fish who can't even fly. Mighty tasty, though.

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Let's face it, the Neapolitan Empire's new culinary tendencies are just plain weird.

In August 1728, while France beat GB out of mainland Europe (well, almost), Naples unlocked the last expansion idea.

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Now, you might be asking why the hell I had not been declaring war on anyone while my manpower soared. But you see, I was preparing for something that could only end well: A land war with Russia.

As you may well know, those don't have the best historical precedent, so I armed myself with two things:

- The role of Protector of the Faith for the morale and war exhaustion bonus (too far in the game to worry about research penalty).
- A new infantry unit at military tech level 26.
- Forging an actual claim on Muscovy.

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These guys seemed appropriate.

I also got around to picking trade ideas as my 7th idea set and finally declared the war in October 1729.

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TO BE CONTINUED.. in an hour when I post the 2nd part.
 
11. November 1721 - 2. March 1734 part 2/2

Wargoals:

Primary

- Vassalize Serbia.
- Kick the Muscovites out of the Black Sea by restoring Naples’ new vassal, Crimea, to its former glory.

Secondary

- Weaken Muscovy as much as possible.

Muscovy was still knee-deep in a war with Lithuania, which meant that I had a chance to overwhelm them quickly, before they rearranged their troops. France had declared war on Trier for some random HRE province, which meant that most of my northern neighbors would not pose any problems. I had prepared three 42k standard armies and a ~20k mercenary one. An additional 42k army was sweeping up the Serbians and would soon be ready to refocus on Muscovy.

However, while I feared the Muscovites' might on land, I few qualms about engaging them at sea. I sent my superior navy, led by an above-average admiral and bolstered by morale from Naval Ideas and Defender of the Faith at them. It was, as expected, a slaughter.

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I'm fully aware that the best army does not always win in this game and that they have made naval combat more costly. Even so, HOLY FRICK ON A FRICK STICK.

To recover from this minor naval scuffle, Genius-King Antonio ordered all trade navies in the Mediterranean to hastily advance in the opposite direction of the Russian armada, pretend that never happened and await tactical reinforcements( which would take a couple of years to be built).

While I was having my ass handed to me at sea, the battle on land started in earnest.

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There are no Neapolitan troops in Crimea, only 100.000+ spontaneously created, well equipped, from-Naples-transported “Crimean National Defense Forces!”

Even after that, Lithuania foolishly surrendered to Muscovy in their separate war, ceding Smolensk.

However, even then, Muscovy seemed to have lost most of its spark. As thousands upon thousands of young Neapolitan men died to attrition while carpet sieging huge swathes of land, only a token resistance was made... and they kept forgetting to bring generals.

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Not that they'd stood a chance anyway, but at least they could have been good sports about it.

After that, nothing of interest happened during the war. I kept killing small 1-5k stacks with two hunter-killer armies, while province after province fell.

Well, maybe a few things of note:

- Muscovy extracting their odd, yet spectacular form of revenge upon Naples.

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- The surrender of Serbia

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- Najd becoming fully annexed.

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- A chase into the deep reaches of Siberia.

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Finally, in November 1731, I decided that enough warscore had been gained to end this war.

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Giving Smolensk back to Lithuania meant that Muscovy would still be prevented from forming Russia. Not that I was vengeful for their destruction of the Neapolitan fleet or anything.

A year went by without much incident. I was rebuilding the navy and retreating the army from rather far away. I made a royal marriage and established an alliance with Aragon. They are only 2! diplomatic points away from accepting a diplo vassalization. I suspect that I will be able to make it within a few years.

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In the meantime, France was becoming bloody dangerous and recently won that war with Trier:

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I resolved that I had been going too easy on the Blue Blob of Doom. It is about time to bring the pain to France. As I prepared my armies, my last action of the session was to start the diploannexation of Wallachia. I'm making vassals faster than I can absorb them - hell, Toulouse looks like it'll be a problem, since I had been putting it off for so long that it has a really high "annexed vassals" modifier!

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News of the World

- During this entire session, Marathas re-annex three nations: Gwalior, Gujrat and Keladi

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- Spanish Alaska!

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ETC
Strangely, while I did get the “Traditional player” achievement for having 90+ naval and army tradition, I did not get the “Truly Divine Ruler” from King Antonio. Do you actually need specifically 5/5/5 and not just 5 or above in each stat?



Arbitrary quiz

This round

DensleyBlair: +5 for actually getting most events right. And for being the only competitor this round.

Next round

What will I demand from France? I now have 100% overextension to spend, and I do believe that I can afford a little extra other than Australia.
 
Probably take some colonies, and some minor provinces in Europe given away.
 
I'll offer that you'll take Australia and their Indian holdings, while probably getting them to cede territory to some Rhenish minors. Maybe some monetary compensation as well?

Aside from that, another entertaining update. Good especially to see that the foundations have been laid for further Balkan expansion. That border does need improving. :p
 
I think you plan to connect to Toulouse before diplo-annexing it by taking Provence as well as their Australian and Indian territories. Next war you take Avignon and the two provinces north of it to shore up the border.

I got the achievement when I had a 6/5/5 ruler, so I have no idea why you didn't.
 
Colonies in Australia and the Indian province plus force them to release a nation in France proper.
 
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You'll probably take their eastern colonies, as well as try to take their provinces on the Mediterranean Sea, to further your control there and connect to Iberia. That war with Muscovy was surprising. You easily won the land war but lost the naval war! I suppose the advise for generals in your world is: Never fight a naval war in the Black Sea (or India). Are you planning on taking land in the Americas later to take get influence in the Western trade and weaken the western Europeans?
 
Free all the nations you can.
 
I predict that France will pull FrenchHacks(patent pending), and somehow win. I've seen more absurd wins.

Now to go wonder how I got 12 events contesting my rule of my Crimea because I wasn't violent enough in 10 months. (I'd literally been at war the month before these dam events. How do I even not have economic issues having killed 150,000 residents. Shouldn't that cause problems? I quit that game shortly after realizing it didn't ironman itself properly and I couldn't get the achievement for westernizing. Shame too, I had two six admin rulers and was about to reform my government)

Anyhow, France will manage to do well and give you a run for your money but ultimately lose. Remember to build an unreasonable amount of heavy ships. Its nice. (I had an arms race with the Brits in the multiplayer I mentioned. We ended up near 400 heavy ships when he had enough. I then ruled the seas. It was good for the last year apocalyptic war of doom- 10/10, do reccomend.)

France will also send a colonist to some territory you want that arrives after signing the treaty, and inexplicably avoids native attacks.
 
It's a very nicely done AAR but it's actually quite boring seeing as you win.....essentially every single battle. Which does seem a tad fishy. Some of the battle results are just bizzare. Ottos 1 tech above. Better general -1 river to them and 2x your troops and yet you win?....