That came out of my friends video
here from a math video competition at our school. Make it rain!
Kinda confusing, sorry about that.
o
Bah @ the math. Easy.
I wanted to hear more about the Science of the Potatoe. :mellow:
My money's on Portugal. Given your careful and cautious use of manpower up to this point, I don't believe that low reserves would actually stop you declaring war now. A Treaty on the other hand...
Well, it was partially that and partially my current overextension (which was at ~50%). I wanted one war to take as much of Australia as humanly possible!
Restoring the Pentarchy also shuts down the Pope doesn't it? The effect in CK2 is better I think for ending the Great Schism. Just seeing the huge wave of Orthodox change happen across all those Catholic lands...
Still, it could use a little more flavorful text. Increase religious tension in Europe and make something akin to an Orthodox reformation sweep across catholic nations.
I'll go with the French in Australia.
Those blue, cowardly surrender monkies who had their entire nation fractured by Castile?
That's a toughie... I'm gonna go with... The dutch. I've got no other ideas besides Portugal, but i want to go out into left field.
That'd be hilarious. Netherlands controlling a huge swathe of the West Mexican/North American is great in itself though.
Great Britain, because why not?
They have been encroaching on some South Pacific islands...
Great AAR, just finished reading it straight from the beginning
Thanks!
Sorry about the delay in writing a new chapter. At least I managed to finish one this week. In general, I want to keep up a decent pace and finish this AAR by June and finish at least one update a week.
16. April 1715 - 11. November 1721
And the polls are in...
...AAAANNNNCCCEE!
Now, I am ashamed to admit that I did not cry bloody havoc the moment I saw that, and declared war, but I did have an excuse: I had almost 50% overextension and wanted that to cool down first. In the meantime, I intended to hit Serbia and work it towards a vassalizable form.
Meanwhile, in Greece, a farmer noticed out that bathing himself in the droppings of his animals and then rolling around on his fields increased the crop yield.
Nobody had the heart to tell him that it wasn't exactly news... or that he wasn't going about it the most efficient way.
Before I could get an invasion of Serbi.. erm, "Liberation of Wallachia" going, Marathas decided to test my patience in February 1716.
This presented an issue. I had wanted to let Baroda westernize (it was in the progress of doing so) before vassalizing them, so that I could gain more hard power in India that didn't rely on a quasi-vassal not westernizing. They also held cores on Gujarat and Lower Sindh, which I was making a core on myself. Now I was faced with two choices:
- Bloody, tedious: Quickly attack Baroda to prevent Marathas from taking it from me, then hold it long enough for Marathas to WP in frustration. The disadvantage was that I did not know if I could vassalize a nation that was westernizing, so it might all turn out to be pointless.
- Meh: Just let Marathas take it back. I could probably do with just the trade power.
You already know what I chose...
... But it didn't just end there, as you can see. Knowing that Baroda had cores on Gujarat, and not wanting to risk Marathas declaring it as well, I decided that I could at least take those, while waiting for Marathas to get sick of waiting and WP due to losing warscore due to lack of progress.
Then I noticed my error. Since Naples held all of Gujarat, the warscore clock
would not tick in Baroda's favor. This meant that Marathas might keep up the offensive for years and years, giving Naples war exhaustion while keeping Baroda occupied, I mean,
"Safe from right-wing extremism".
There was only one solution and on April 1717, I did what had to be done.
The good news? Yes, you can vassalize a nation that's not even done westernizing.
Wargoal: Beat Marathas into oblivion and demand that they return to be our protectorate, since it had been cancelled the moment, I had to side with Baroda.
Luckily, the people at home were distracted from the fact that Naples just declared war on a nation it had sworn to protect by a new(!) salt crisis.
You've never seen the true face of human shame, until you've seen an Italian man throw himself on the ground and licking mineral rocks in order to experience that "Salty flavor".
Then I started mauling Marathas.
With overlords like Naples, who needs enemies?
After destroying their armies, I moved on to sieging all of their provinces. There wasn't much more excitement on that land, but back in Europe I got to cover all Italian culture provinces with level 4 military buildings (meat for the grinder) and paint Europe just a little more purple. I was also culture-converting provinces that were considered colonies in India and New Zealand.
You might even say that my hold over Europe had been
sea-mented at this point.
I'm so sorry.
Relations with the natives of Vanuatu improved as well... After they invited the local magistrate to share some
Kava which gives a nice double dose of chill and potential liver damage.
Cultural exchanges like these are what makes the Neapolitan World Empire turn around.
While I was busy in India and fretting over overextension, France was slowly picking up the pieces of its last disastrous war.
When the newly graduated students of Salento came forth from the reality warping field, known to the world as a "University", they would go on to join another known as "Office Work".
King Carlo did shortly consider making them into gardeners of the royal palace for the pure amusements of it all.
I still felt that declaring France for Australian land would be pointless, before I had at least 80 overextension to spend. However, the truce with Serbia had expired and it was about time for another easy war by early 1719 (while Marathas was not yet completely defeated).
Of course they made Austria the war leader.
War goals:
Primary
- Liberate Wallachia to be diplo-vassalized
- Take Kosovo, completing an old mission I had left hanging.
Secondary
Take enough provinces to make vassalization possible.
The war would likely drag on, as I could not simply focus on Serbia this time and needed to siege Austrian provinces to bring up war score. Even so, Naples vastly outnumbered its enemies.
In the east, shortly after the declaration against Serbia, the one with Marathas ended, as it returned to the fold.
And the market uncertainty brought on by the new war triggered
another salt crisis!
Good Orthodox God people, stop eating so much salt. It's bad for your blood pressure!
The initial battles went well and just a few months after the declaration, there was no "Serbian army"
The carpet sieges of Serbia and Austria continued, and after Austria tried for some token resistance, it accepted my modest demands.
It did not take long for Wallachia to come to under the suzerainty of Naples.
Because nothing bad ever happens to our underlings.
In addition, our soldiers had to come and complain about their new gold-and-diamond-plated silk uniforms. Here we go and spend a fortune on fancy new uniforms, and all people do is complain. It almost made Carlo regret halving their rations for four years to pay for it all.
What do you mean "attracts unwanted attention and ill-suited for war in the Alps during winter?"
I also broke royal arrangements with Poland. They would soon be positive enough to ally again, but Naples had by now found itself in a position where I simply don't need allies anymore. Who needs stupid treacherous allies when you can have docile pet vassals?
Speaking of which, it was time to cull the number again.
The only good allies are the ones we’re going to annex within the next ten years.
While waiting for my current coring efforts to finish, I considered whom to attack next. Serbia would be the best bet, since I could bring them down enough in size that I might vassalize them soon, but I still had a truce with them...
Then I recalled that there are two kinds of war that don't care for truces:
1: Coalition wars
- and -
2: Wars against protectorates
Bwahahaha, finally these bloody things work in my favor.
Wargoal:
Vassalize Serbia, and if impossible, bring it down to a size where I would be able to in a following war.
I would have continued the session, but note that a landmark has been reached -
100 years to go, people. Time to bring the pain to France. Three cores will soon be complete and the moment I can vassalize Serbia, I can sell their provinces back. I also intend to start working on Algeria (once Spain is through with it). I will also need to work my way into the Black Sea, where vassalization of Georgia and Crimea should permit me to take most of the land that I need, in order to control all the Mediterranean.
But let's face it. All of these salt crisis had hollowed out the potential of Naples. Despite having reached almost complete inward peace, and expanding outwards to all corners of the world, it makes no difference as long as the food tastes stale. Naples was in decline.
News of the world
- Muscovy is rejoicing in now being able to vassalize hordes and others. It holds Oslo and parts of South America, thanks to absorbing Norway. However, it still fails in capturing the
one province from Lithuania, which would allow it to form Russia.
- Spain is now warring for a province that was just about to defect to them anyway, thanks to Catholic rebels.
Arbritary quiz
Results
+3 to fordisbunk, Dennisroos and BogMod
New Quiz Question
Enough of bad news and lack of salt! What are the three next random,
positive events, Naples will experience?