Just had an epic PHEW! session. Almost two decades into new TOG Byzzie game and ol' Basil I kicks the bucket on Malta, putting down some nameless rebel's uprising. Luckily Leo VI was already in his majority. Building up the army and the economy, there wasn't very much going on in the Empire at the time, so I took a province each from the Hungarians and Serbians. Decided my next target would be the Marwanids, who were reduced to a single county after being ganked by two of my Anatolian vassals and the Armenians. Since it was a relative cakewalk I just raised my own levies, plus county vassals and set everyone to assemble in Constantinople for the long march east...
And then: the drumbeat from a DoW.
Maybe it's the AI being stupid? I thought. Who would have the audacity to pick a fight with me at this time? I've already managed to build a 2000-man Cataphract retinue already, my vassals are at full strength, and the treasury is abundant enough hire plenty of mercenaries. Who then? The Abbasids? No problem, I'll just raise my vassal levies and slap them into place after I deal with the Marwanids.
No, it was...the Hungarians.
Huh? What? I literally lolled and chalked it up to AI stupidity; in over 800 hours of playing games as the Byzantine Empire, I have never seen the Hungarians give me any guff. Sure, they nabbed the Bulgarian territories north of the Danube, and they took a couple of duchies from the Khazars, but they couldn't possibly raise as many troops as I, could they? Hmmm, better check how many troops I can raise in total....12,000+? Cool. Let's see what's got the Hungarians feeling all big and ha- 35,000+ troops, you say?....what? I mean.....WHAT?!?!
Raise all vassal levies NOW! Organize the Varangian Guard NOW! Hire all affordable mercs NOW! Everyone to Constantinople NOW!
Looking good so far; 8000 men in Constantinople and more provincial levies are turning up everyday. Just hang in there, guys; help is on the way.
2 days later, an attrition-free stack of 19,760 troops appears in Thrake. I'd hired every merc I could afford at that point, and there were still provincial stragglers heading for Constantinople. All told I only had about 11,000 men in Constantinople. It was going to be a tough one, but that core of Cataphract retinue plus horse archer mercs would see me through.
Countdown to apocalypse, waiting for the Hungarians to arrive at Constantinople. Assigned the best generals to my own stack and had to hope for the best, praying reinforcements would make it on time.
...
All for naught; the Imperial army was completely and utterly slaughtered, putting barely a dent in the Hungarians' numbers.
Only about 3000 Romans managed to break through the Hungarian lines and escape, but the Hungarian army was not in a forgiving mood and chased them through two different provinces, and through intense skirmishing, reduced the once proud Roman army to a mere 300 cataphracts. Humiliatingly, post-battle analysis revealed there was a not even a single horse archer in the Hungarians' stack.
Doomed, at that point, I thought. I couldn't raise any more levies; the army was shattered, the treasury was empty. The Hungarians had attrition-free troops, either from an adventurer claim or because I was mistaken in the belief that their gamestart doomstack is automatically disbanded when they settle in Hungary. Their CB was for the Kingdom of Anatolia, so I was set to lose literally everything I had east of Constantinople, and I suspected they'd simply do it again for Greece when the peace expired, which would be long before I was in a position to take back what I lost.
I was on the verge of a ragequit when, feeling rather masochistic, I thought I'd stick around to see how pathetically the war ended. Predictably, the Hungarian stack moved from province to province, assaulting at the first opportunity. Not enough to diminish the horde in any way, mind. The WS quickly dropped to -82% and I was getting ready to start a new game with the mental note 'exterminate the Hungarians' when something odd happened: the doomstack left Imperial territory.
Checked the ledger to see that there was a peasant revolt in Hungary proper. I wondered why the AI sent the doomstack back to Europe; they were clearly just playing with event troops in Anatolia and could have just raised levies to deal with the revolt. The Hungarians had, however, left behind a smaller, 2500 man stack to continue besieging provinces into submission. As a lark, I sent my now-regenerated 4000 man stack to fight them. I didn't think it would go anywhere, I was measuring the lifespan of this game session in minutes.
It was a close run thing, but the Hungarian rearguard was wiped out. Curiously, I thought this might have prompted the Hungarian doomstack to return to Anatolia, but no one showed up, so cautiously, I moved my army to the first occupied county.
That's when they returned.
Seeing the doomstack cross the border I scarpered for the coast to board a ship and noticed this prompted the doomstack to again return to Hungary. Weird.
A strange hope began to fill me; after defeating the rearguard and liberating two baronies I noticed the WS was slowly ticking back to 0. Maybe, just maybe I could get a white peace out of it?
The army thus became a guerrilla force over the years of the war - never strong enough to engage the enemy army head-on, and fleeing at the first sign of pursuit, but whenever the Hungarians departed, in the Romans would swoop to assault and liberate taken holdings! The dastardly Hungarian army returned to Anatolia time and again to quickly assault my holdings, but when the Roman army melted away, the Hungarians simply returned to Europe, only to find their occupied territories under siege by the Romans.
Lead by the Emperor in person - who managed to get himself bumped up to tier 4 military education and to pick up 3 tactical specialities, not to mention scarred and brave - the war took years.
Did I mention I had done nothing to further my own original DoW on the Marwanids? XD
Rationalizing losing an offensive war to the Marwanids was preferable to losing the war for the whole of Anatolia to the Hungarians, I naturally prioritized the latter. Luckily, due to wars with other powers in the region, the Marwanids were unable to capitalize on my Hungarian...distraction...and took no further action. Unluckily, they had now managed to raise an army just large enough to besiege one of my counties. An army that just so happened to be considerably smaller than my own ragtag band of freedom fighters. Sensing an opportunity to impress his vassals and score some good press, the Emperor ambushed the Marwanid army, scattering them to the hills, before moving to Lykandos and taking it....some 10 years after initially declaring war to do so!
And then the Abbasids declared holy war for Antioch....
But that's a story for another day :laugh:
...
All told, the war with the Hungarians took a whopping 15 years. I don't know what was dragging their doomstack back to Europe: I frequently checked the ledger and they only had 2 peasant revolts and a religious revolt and these were all snuffed out within weeks. Parking my army in any occupied counties would summon the Hungarians to Anatolia, but the length of time it took them to cross meant I could take back one or two baronies before they inevitably took them back via assault. I thought it was a slim hope I could whittle their stack down to something approaching parity with my own army before trying another knockout blow. Their constant assaults weren't really denting their numbers, so I was more playing for time, as the WS was ticking in my favour.
The war probably lasted 5 years longer than it should have as the Abbasids tried to retake Antioch, and wiped out what was left of my forces. In the end I managed to force a white peace out of the Hungarians and an unconditional surrender from the Abbasids. Not a bad result.
That brief period of 20 years was probably the most intense I've ever played in any one session of CKII. I watched my character go from a young, untested boy Emperor to a celebrated freedom fighter and guerrilla leader, to a war hero :happy:
An educational experience, I guess: as it highlighted two things a lot of people are still unhappy about - attrition-free doomstacks and Muslim decadence. I don't know where the Hungarians got their Legion of Doom from; IIRC their King was an Arpad and surely it was too soon into the game for an adventurer claim. I thought their initial stack dissolves when they settle in Hungary? During a lull in the fighting with the Hungarians, I sent a couple of expeditions to battle the Abbasids. My armies outnumbered theirs by, on average 1.5, and they were well led, with leaders selected by myself. Both of my armies were easily wiped out. Sure enough, Abbasid decadence level: 0%.
Now I just have to make sure the Hungarians don't try any of that again; I can still see their doomstack patrolling their border, and I can hear the Jaws themetune....