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Thread: BavAARia: An AAR from a n00b

  1. #41
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    Well Judas, trust me. Baden will not live through the game and Austria isn't the annexator (if you know what I mean).
    But now I have 5 years of peace at least and now it's possible for me to annex Wurzburg;
    More land and tax income
    No alliance so I can get stronger allies (like for example Hungary
    )
    Some more BB!!

    When I have Wurzburg I'll be fine, I hope
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  2. #42
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    By the way, what is that Eutopia thing. My brother does it too but I don't know what it's all about what the fuck is it (my brother's name is Bramarius from the ECPN or something like that)
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  3. #43
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    Wilhelm was satisfied, with his admirable diplomatic skills he had convinced the king of Wurzburg that annexation of Wurzburg by Bavaria was for the best.
    Now a new problem showed up, Hessen had declared war upon Bavaria and the filthy Mainz traitors had betrayed him for the last time for they themselves declared war right after this.
    But Wilhelm remained calm as usual, he was not scared of some puny German civilizations, his land was bigger than the land of all the countries he was at war with togheter.
    Even though, Bavaria was a little short on cash and troops, so he thought of a plan. By invading either Hessen, where he could end this entire war, but where his troops would be under constant attack. Or invading Mainz, asking a lot of money from them and then build troops to crush the Hessen alliance.
    Difficult choice but he decided to go for the last, he did not have the troops to besiege Hessen and be under Hessen, Palatinat, Kleves and StraBburg attack. No Mainz was the best choice.
    But if he conquered Mainz while they still had troops he could probably annex those filthy traitors too.
    But wait, Wilhelm was getting a bit scared now. He could not walk to Mainz, Hessen was blocking the way in Wurzburg.
    Well, let's wait then he said to himself. A lot of troops will die of hunger there, and if Wurzburg keeps it up till the other alliance members and Mainz arrive there it will be a deathfestival.
    Wilhelm was confient again and instructed his heralds what they would have to tell the cities and troops...
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  4. #44
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    Wilhelm again was happy with himself, after the declarations of war by the filthy swines of the Papal States, Saxony and mighty Austria itself the Bavarians were brought back to one province under their control. But Wilhelm was an able king and got a white peace with Mainz and Saxony. Then after loosing aproximately 4 or 5 provinces to the Austrian alliance he made peace with them (after letting them starve to death) for a mere 75 ducats and military acces. Then a peace with the Papal States was on the agenda and Wilhelm payed a mere 13 ducats (although the entire treasury it was a small price for the control of Schweiz)
    which was under Mantua control. Although we did not get Schweiz back what was expected, rebels showed themselves and were besieging the city. Yes in times of war Wilhelm was very happy that rebels exsisted. Now all that remained, provided that the rebels took Schweiz, was Hessen. That enemy was hard to take on, only demanding land for peace which Wilhelm would not want to give up, while there was no money in the treasury after all the peace offers to build troops.

    *hint: I could really use your help here guys what the hell do I have to do now and give me your msn once, I want to play all of you once *
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  5. #45
    Compulsive CommentatAAR stnylan's Avatar
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    As for the AAR - doing well so far.
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  6. #46
    Citizen Phalanx's Avatar

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    The AAR goes well indeed, good idea with the window.

  7. #47
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    guys, seriously, hessen is gonna kill me for sure, just like goddamn Mantua. And the goddamn loans ofcourse . really crappy...and gimme the friggin msn
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  8. #48
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    WTF!!! Suddenly Schweiz is under my control again and the rebels are still there, was it a bug that showed me the Mantua shield? damn, Wilhelm is gonna be pissed about this one
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  9. #49
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    AH GREAT!!! Wilhelm was again very content with himself. Peace with Hessen (who had 3 of his provinces) for 50 ducats and militairy acces. Yes i fine peace offer indeed. Still, Bavaria had only 1388 cavalrists and about 19 ducats in the treasury. Not good. And the relations with other countries was cracked. None would let Bavaria enter their alliances, real bad. And in maybe 2 years Bavaria would be conquered by Saxony or Poland, and a year after probably by Austria and Hungary. Wilhelm would just have to wait and see...

    Oops! Wilhelm would have to watch his words the nxt time. A scandal at the court of Burgundy. Now his mind was frustrated for a few months. Damn Burgundians, Wilhelm had always liked the French and he had not forgotten who once betrayed them.
    But this meant that his great diplomatic skills were gone. A light in the situation: Hessen really disliked Swiss rebels and so they were now taking Zuerich! Yes, all togheter it wasn't going really bad. Not a single peace of land was lost, as Ernst would have wanted it. Although now Wilhelm was getting real old (he was aproximately 66) he had not forgotten his good friend. Murdered by a Baden assasin. No he would take Baden back, or he would make the next king do it. For he really hated Baden now, more than Burgundy, more han Austria, even more than Austria and Burgundy togheter! So Baden would someday get it...

    Ow Great Lord up in the sky! Why do You hate me!?

    In 1452 the whole story started from the beginning, Mainz declared war, Poland declared war and in 1453 Austria and Mantua would surely follow. Wilhelm was in a real bad mood.
    Why would God hate him? Ernst was the one who ordered all those nations annexed and Ernst was also the man who stole all the territory from the other lands. Why would God hate me! WIlhelm repeated. He was getting real sick, he was in bed 24/7 and could only rule Ernst's kingdom from his bed.
    Then Wilhelm took a decision: He was getting sick of all the declarations of war and he was sick of all the other countries around him. What do I say, Wilhelmw as sick of everything around him. But, you know Christians, they always want in heaven. And so did WIlhelm, so his suicide would surely make the landdisordered. A lot of rebellions were expected and ofcourse a lot of foreign invaders but Wilhelm did not have to deal with that any more. He would be dead. The longer he thought about it, the better it sounded...
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  10. #50
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    For his suicide Wilhelm had picked a sunny day, so that a lot of people would hear him speak. He wanted to speak to the people, about everything he had done, for example the murder of Albrecht II, and ofcourse the scandal of which noone knew.
    He brought the royal guard behind him, he had selected the people who were closest to Albrecht when he was still alive.
    And so his speech began:

    "Good people of the city of Muenchen! I Wilhelm, have something to tell you. Before, and during my reign I have done a lot of bad things, and I do not want to be king anymore. I have for example insulted the king of Burgundy dearly, also have I raped woman. But the worst of my sins was the MURDER OF ALBRECHT II!"

    His last words came out as a tornado, he screamed them so loud that everyone in the great townsquare had fallen silent.
    The royal guard also was silent and looked at Wilhelm with awe.
    Then suddenly everyone in the square began to talk and scream. Some thought Wilhelm had been a good ruler and did not want him dead, while others wanted him to burn in hell. Suddenly everywhere fights started, the royalguard looked at Wilhelm again but then rushed down to stop the fights. None had stayed to kill Wilhelm, after his confession Wilhelm thought someone would stab him in de back but noone did. Everyone had run down. This was not as planned, Wilhelm thought. But not all was lost, the people had stopped fighting after about 15 minutes and then Wilhelm again screamed to everyone in detail how he had killed Albrecht. Again everyone listened and after WIlhelm had finished, again fights broke out.
    Now Wilhelm was really getting sick, those foolish peasants did not want him dead and he did not have the guts to really commit suicide. Yes, everyone wants to stay alive, he could only die by letting someone kill him, but noone did.
    Wilhelm yelled at the peasants one last time:

    "SHUT UP, FILTHY PEASANTS! (this made everyone go silent)
    The only reason why I have told you this is the simple reason I want DEAD! I don't want you distroy Muenchen, I want you to kill me! I love Bavaria. But not myself, and I cannot take all the stress. You know what, I will come down and point out a new king. You will obey him as you have obeyed me. God bless you all, and Bavaria ofcourse."

    Now WIlhelm started walking down, everyone in the town square let him pass. Then he saw a man, maybe 25 years old, who's face he liked. He looked smart, handsome, and great in administration.
    Although looks are not everything, he said to the man: " You good man, what is your name?"
    The man answered that his name was Max.
    Wilhelm said to the man: " Well Max, I will grant you the honor of becoming king of Bavaria. You look smart enough. Maybe you can save our lands. But, you will have to kill me. To make sure there is noone left to claim the throne once you are king.
    Or you can ofcourse let the peasants kill me. As long as I am gone. And promise me boy, either destroy Baden or let the next king do it. I hate those damn bastards!"

    The man had fallen silent, and looked forward like a zombie. Then he finally said:

    "My Lord, only because I am loyal to my king I will become king for you. But kill you I cannot. Nor can anyone here, you have ruled our lands excellent and therefor we can not kill you. My lord..."

    Suddenly Wilhelms face turned white and blood came out of mouth. With a loud "THANK YOU LORD!" he fell to the earth. An arrow was sticking from his back. Another assasin had come to Muenchen to kill yet another king. Luckily for Bavaria they had a new king they could rely on.

    All the peasants in town square stared at the man with the bow.
    And then, as all people were one they ran at the assasin and slaughtered him. They jjumped on his head, bit his ears off and some other cruel stuff you can think of. In the end, the butcher came wit his great flesh cleaver and he put it right through the assasins head who was still alive and conscious. (not after this ofcourse )

    The old king Wilhelm was buried with great honor and the new king Max rose to the throne.

    *I made the whole story up, there was never a Wilhelm or a Max at the throne. But tell me if you like it. even though i'm seriously thinking of giving up. it was a mistake to make Ernst as violent as he was. Next AAR will be more careful, but who cares.

    should i go on or quit, cause it's really boring with all those DoW's on me. I can't do anything fun anymore*
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  11. #51
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    guys, something's is really wrong i've had some rebels in wuerttemberg who took the city, and then walked on to bayern. they did not have enough troops to lay siege on it, but ten bayern revolted. taking the city immediatly. but now the rebels are besieging bayern even though they have it already. so rebels are besieging a rebel controlled city (for those who don't understand)
    what's gonna happen when the rebels take the city?
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  12. #52
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    guys, i'm gonna quit. my government fell and i only had schweiz for my own + bayern ofcourse. then wuerttemberg who don't have money or army's or whaever declared war on me. i vassalized them now and have about 7000 infanterists. but i was too aggressive. (that was for the story but still). 'm gonna make another AAR from another country. don't which one yet.
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

  13. #53
    Citizen Phalanx's Avatar

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    Always tough when that happens. If your quitting, I'll be looking forward to your next AAR.

  14. #54
    Alien Space Bat Judas Maccabeus's Avatar
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    Nice! I really liked this one. Certainly seemed more realistic than all those world conquest AARs around.
    SHEEP ARE THE FUTURE

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  15. #55
    Ex-Deputy Speaker 4-Life Bramarius's Avatar

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    Man, this AAR was absolutely the worst one I've EVER read

    No I mean it.

    Off course, I have to say this since NotALlama is my stupid little brother

    Hmm... now he's done an AAR, i cant stay behind... hmmm.....
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  16. #56
    Alien Space Bat Judas Maccabeus's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Bramarius
    Man, this AAR was absolutely the worst one I've EVER read

    No I mean it.
    *pulls out shotgun*

    You were saying...
    SHEEP ARE THE FUTURE

    While Thou Shalt Flourish Great and Free (Saxon England, pt. 3) (Started 11 October 2010)
    Scenario progress: Base maps complete, pops and diplomacy in progress.

  17. #57
    Ex-Deputy Speaker 4-Life Bramarius's Avatar

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    Originally posted by Judas Maccabeus
    *pulls out shotgun*

    You were saying...
    YIKES!!!!!!

    Errmm, I mean: all hail bavaria, all hail notallama!
    Gone with Baden!!!!
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  18. #58
    Holstein's Envoy in Vienna Syt's Avatar
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    Too bad you're quitting this one, but I am looking forward to reading your next work.
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  19. #59
    Second Lieutenant NotALlama's Avatar

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    he cool, you liked the AAR i think my next AAR will be sweden or something. i always like events thanks for reading this one. and still gimme the msn
    Is that an upper-arm I see?

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